Prompted by an email conversation with Curly (and I apologize to anyone I offend, beforehand):
I have a confession to make about mimes.
Mimes make me so angry that if I talk about them for longer than 30 seconds, I might start to shout. I might get all in your face, shouting about mimes (a la “Don’t even TRY, CHiPs!”)
There was one infamous evening, strolling along the shores of Lake Michigan with dear friends, when I started to rant and rave about mimes and it got so bad that I actually got a little bit upset about mimes. I don’t even have to SEE a mime to get steamed. The mere THOUGHT of them drive me insane. It is irrational. It is not based on a bad experience I had. I was not mugged by a mime once. I didn’t have a bad experience dating a violent mime.
But for some reason, they make me NUTS.
My friends like to prompt me: “So Sheila, how do you feel about mimes?” just to watch me work myself into a frenzy.
This is akin to my friend Mitchell’s irrational hatred of Renaissance Fairs. He doesn’t just hate them. The thought of them makes him NUTS. He said to me once, in a blast of contempt and hatred, “Renaissance Fairs make my teeth itch.”
Mimes *spits* heh heh my apologoies… I can’t even keep a straight face thinking about them. Marcel Marceau – that’s it as far as I’m concerned.. *rolling on the floor*
It’s their demand to be taken seriously that causes the greatest mirth!
The first time I read this post, I saw the word “mine”. I was like, dude, what do you have against coal?
I hate mimes, too.
Perhaps I should add that my mirth ends if a mime actually tries to interact with me.
That’s a line they don’t cross again in a hurry.
Favorite Mime Segment:
Dustin Hoffman walking despondant in Central Park in “Tootsie”. He walks past a Mime doing some stupid ass thing on a curb, stands there for a moment, and with one small gesture pushes the Mime over onto the grass.
Delicious.
Excuse me whilst I LMAO…
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone admit to actually liking mimes. If nobody likes these people, how do they continue to exist???
hmmm, the next great touchy-feely crusade: “Who will speak for the mimes?”
heh.
So, I’m guessing this would be a wrong time to say how much I was hurt when the Shields and Yarnell Show was cancelled?
Hating mimes is perfectly healthy and normal thing. Don’t apologize.
Also, I recommend you rent Shakes the Clown. All I have to say is that my favorite line from it is “You silent motherfuckers!”
Hating mimes is a perfectly natural thing to do.
Alex:
bwahahaha “some mime doing some stupid ass thing”
I LOVE that scene – what a catharsis. Because, honestly, I do want to know: who likes mimes? Who??
When anyone talks about mimes, I’m reminded of an old Newhart episode where a character has hit rock bottom professionally and emotionally, so much so that he becomes *gasp* a mime.
People try to ignore his grotesque capering, until at last he explodes at them, ranting and raving. “Just because I’m a mime, did you think I wouldn’t SAY ANYTHING!!!!!”
Still makes me laugh to think about it. Oh, yeah, mimes suck.
There was an exchange between Peter Scolari and Bob Newhart in Newhart once–this was after Scolari’s character had been dumped by Julia Duffy and was floundering. He took up pantomime and said to Newhart: “Remember, Dick, everybody loves a mime.”
The reply: “No, everybody loves a clown. They try to run over mimes.”
I should be reeeally embarrassed to remember this so well.
Ken,
Yeah, that’s the one!
Have you encountered Terry Pratchett? In the scifi section.
The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork isn’t a liberal, he just can’t be bothered to oppress anyone — except mimes. Mimes end up in the classic pose, hanging from the wall in the dungeon by their thumbs. On the other wall is a sign:
LEARN THE WORDS.
Regards,
Ric
Overheard in a bar during a football game, when an Intel commercial came on featuring the Blue Man Group:
“Paint your face all you want…you’re still a (expletive deleted) mime!”