I look back longingly on the good old days (which means about 3 or 4 years ago) when I could go into my favorite candle shop and – with the utmost simplicity and clarity – go about buying my candle supply.
I have a “candle budget” built into my wee income. Candles are up there on the necessity list with milk and bread. Not because of “oh my God, what if there’s another blackout” – although that is part of it. I don’t feel right if I don’t have candles in the house. But also, I just love candlelight. I love scented candles. I love the look, I love the light they give, I love the atmosphere they provide … I can feel my manic blood-pressure stabilize when I’ve got candles flickering about through the apartment.
I’m even into floating candles – to put in the tub when I take a bath.
This is my decadent side.
I sink into the bubble bath, I’ve got floating fiery candles bobbing up and down, and I feel like an odalisque or something. I don’t have the money for many luxuries – but when I’m in that bathtub, I feel wealthy. If you know what I mean. So I always justify stocking up on cool candles.
Yankee Candle used to be my main supplier. They have a ton of great scents – and multiple sizes. You could get the big fat candles encased in glass, you could get medium-sized candles encased in glass … You could buy the candles as tea lights (very handy for parties), you could buy the small ones that you put in a small glass holder … Many options.
And good simple scents.
Rose Garden
Sea Breeze
Lavendar
Fir
Lilac
Whatever. Simple. I have been buying Yankee Candles for a while. And I remember their simpler days.
But I am here to tell you: Those days are gone. Say goodbye to Fir. Say hello to Autumn Cider With a Dash of Clove.
Here is what I think:
Yankee Candle has gotten too big for its britches. It is trying to be too many things to too many people. It has gotten wayyyyyyyyyy too complicated in its scents … and suddenly I am in the same situation with Yankee Candle the way I am with toothpaste. Way too many choices. Do I want baking soda with mint flavor? Do I need tartar control PLUS whitening PLUS baking soda? Or … do I just say “fuck it” and go with Bubble Gum? I don’t know what to do.
I went yesterday to stock up on candles. I went to “my” shop.
And … basically, cause it’s Christmas time I wanted to get some fir-scented candles. I remember buying a ton of “fir” candles last year. THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SCENT: Fir. Simple, right?
Let’s you know what you’re getting. Helps you out. Narrows it down.
As I browsed through the 20,000 candles yesterday on display, I had a couple of responses:
— I began to have a nervous breakdown from too many choices
— I started to get annoyed at the discontinuation of the simpler names of many of the scents
— My head started to hurt.
— I wanted to write a letter to Yankee Candle and scream: JUST. CALM. DOWN.
They don’t have “fir” anymore.
No. They have “balsam and cedar”. Fine. I bought a bunch of “balsam and cedar” – only it took me 5 minutes to even locate them, because – DUH – I had been looking under “F” for “Fir”.
Some of the other scents:
Autumn Lodge
Bamboo Musk
Chai Tea
White Zinfandel
White Opal
Spanish Moss
Orchid Rain
Clove Bud and Citrus
Ginger and Green Tea
I don’t know. I’m a pretty down-to-earth person. I’m sure some of these are lovely scents. Truly. But when a girl is looking for FIR and instead finds a pile of SPANISH MOSS, she doesn’t know what to do about it.
Like – fine, Yankee Candle. Experiment with your new scents. That’s cool. Bring out a candle combining the scents of Fresh Laundry and Cut Grass. Bring out a candle named Hot Dog Stand in Mid-July. Whatever. See how they do.
But please KEEP the old favorites. The simple ones. Fir, roses, ocean, lilac … DON’T combine Lilac with Basil and discontinue plain old Lilac. Mmkay? You’re givin’ me a headache.
I’m just a simple girl who likes to have floating candles in her bathtub cause it makes her feel rich and luxurious. Stop over-complicating things, Y.C., with your damn Chai Tea and Bamboo Twilight.
CALM. THE HELL. DOWN, Yankee Candle.
(Or – to put this all another way: “Don’t even TRY, Yankee Candle! Don’t even TRY!”)
I fear it may be too late for Yankee Candle to calm down, Sheila.. they are, after all, only following a path that others have ‘pioneered’ and charted long ago..
Autumn Lodge
Bamboo Musk
Chai Tea
White Zinfandel
White Opal
Spanish Moss
Orchid Rain
Clove Bud and Citrus
Ginger and Green Tea..?
I believe you’ll also find each of these varieties available as either matt or gloss emulsion.
Well, I have been loyal to Yankee Candle for longer than I have been loyal to any brand of toothpaste – and I am disheartened. I truly am. They’ve messed up a good thing, in my opinion.
It was the White Zinfandel that really got me.
You don’t have a simple FIR-SCENTED CANDLE and you’ve stocked up on WHITE ZINFANDEL?
Huh?
Oddly, my wife and I have had trouble finding fir-scented candles this season. Still looking, in fact.
It’s enraging, ain’t it Ken?
Maybe they have White Zinfandel with a Dash of Fir … but I wasn’t able to find it.
I am sure there are other candle companies out there who have good old simple scents. I’m a candle-whore, admittedly, so I may need to switch brands.
This is a huge deal for me and I will need a lot of emotional support.
Was it possibly….Balsam Fir you were looking for?
I love Misletoe for that piney scent, but I know what you mean about the whole way too many scents thing. Although I love it.
Did you get my Chinatown mail?
Red, I do emote with you for the pressure placed upon you regarding the lack of Fir candles, and the oppression that Yankee places upon you for mix-matching unnecessary candle scents. Next thing you know, they’ll start with scents like ‘Room smells like weed’ or ‘I’ve been cooking with Garlic’. There is no justification for them to take two perfectly good scents and force them to merge, like some sick power struggle among cellular phone carriers. I say that there should be an end put to this perverse assault on the olfactory senses before we’re forced to use our own scents to counteract (I’ve got curry powder, and I’m not afraid to use it!!!) I have but one thing to add. I drink my Chai with pride. It’s not an evil substance, merely a pacifier for us uneducated warm beverage drinkers that need to feel as if we’re doing something better than cracking a can of Maxwell House, or ripping open a single serving of lipton. If I’m wrong, then fine, my ignorance shows, but please, please…won’t you just leave me with my sweet double chai, whole milk, whipped to perfection as I skim through Yahoo news? I’ve merely begun to feel alive this fine day.
:) How’s that for going off topic? :)
:: Reads the post again ::
Oh…they have Chai scented Candles?
…where the hell are my keys?
:: stumbles around his dark cave ::
As I read the names in your list, I couldn’t imagine what someone was thinking.
“Autumn Lodge” That says hunting lodge to me. So who is their market for a candle that smells like wet dog, bean farts, and Hoppe’s No. 9 (gun cleaner)?
“Bamboo Musk” I admit that it has been a few years, but I have been in a bamboo forest and bamboo doesn’t have a musk that anyone would find particularly enjoyable.
“Orchid Rain” Our family has raised orchids for over thirty years. Of the many tens of thousands of orchid varieties today, only a few have a noticeable scent. (Mostly, scent was bred out generations ago in favor of color or shape of the flower.) The one most commonly referred to scented orchid is Brassavola Nodosa, which is nicknamed “Lady of the Night”. Two reasons: the scent only appears after dark and is cloyingly sweet. See: http://www.plantfacts.com/Family/Orchidaceae/Brassavola.nodosa.shtml
Maybe the candle smells like a “Lady of the Night” standing on a rainy street corner.
Those names sound more like someone in marketing bought a Japanese Name-It machine than a serious attempt to describe the product.
homebru:
Now I would love to see a candle with a scent entitled:
Lady of the Night On a Rainy Street Corner.
:)
If nothing else, we have a worthy new addition to the Sheilexicon: “CALM THE HELL DOWN, FILLINTHEBLKANK!”
A friend of mine was thinking about marketing a new scent called “Wet Wool”
HAHAHAHA
Yankee Candle peaked with “Midsummer’s Night”– a next to impossible to decode yet very pleasing scent I’ve yet to find anywhere else.
Mr. Lion – damn dude, you are right. Midsummer’s Night (the blue-black candle) is a hard to decode scent – but very very lovely. I usually put those in my “foyer”. (And anyone who has been in my apartment will know what a laugh it is that I call the teeny area inside my door a “foyer”, but come on, let me have my fantasy!)
What the hell does White Opal smell like? It’s a stone, right? Okay – new game: Nonscents! Write names for scents that give absolutely no clue to their odor. I’ll kick it off with the “Office” collection –
Micromanager – sharpie, liquid paper, McNuggets
Lateral File – manila, vanilla
Temp Agency – clove cigarette, L’air du Temps
Executive Assistant – Sure, Herbal Essence, Mentos
CEO – Canoe, Ben-Gay, Rogaine
Support Staff Supervisor – Anbesol, Gold Bond, Poison
Stevie – holy crap. There’s too much that is funny about what you just wrote to even start …
mentos … clove cigarettes … heh heh heh Still laughing over here …
Thanks :)
The Martha Stewart Collection:
Parole Officer – Old Spice, Camels, Dr. Scholls Insoles
Matron – Amstel Light, CK1, Vagisil
Warden – Nivea, pepperoni, Tums
Cellmate – Noxema, Tide, canned corn
Vagisil! I REFUSE to have that dastardly word on my blog!!
Oops! Sorry! My knowledge of “women’s complaints” products is limited – and I wasn’t sure how to spell Gynalotrimin!
I dated a guy who was consistently amazed that women “had a whole aisle” at any drug store. He thought it was mind-boggling. We would stroll thru the “female aisle”, and I would be blase and over it because it’s MY aisle after all, and he would be agog, saying shit like, “I mean … how much can go wrong down there??”
I would say, “Dude, you have no idea.”
And I just have to say: Dr. scholl’s insoles.
BWAHAHAHAHA
Your last comment sparks the idea for men’s products we’d like to see:
Dorkolax – works overnight to make you hip
Hair-eeze – spray it anywhere you want to remove unwanted hair. Extremely effective on ankles and toes.
Ego-East (also Ego-West) – makes men accept getting directions from a stranger
Regis – whitens teeth, tightens face, thickens hair and shortens legs
ego-east. heh heh heh heh heh
I’m so effin’ pissed at Yankee Candle. Allergies force me to have a FAKE Christmas tree (I know, I know, the HORROR!) so for years I have bought a “Mistletoe” candle at Cherry’s Hallmark, our local dealer of Yankee Candles.
This year, however, when I go to Cherry’s, THERE. IS. NO. MISTLETOE. I repeat, NO MISTLETOE. In its place is some twee thing called “Christmas Wreath.” I bought it, of course, because I have to have some smell of firry, piney boughs.
But I didn’t like it.
Stoopid Yankee Candle.
Lisa – If you email me your address, I can send you a Mistletoe candle. I saw one at the shop, believe it or not. In between Bamboo Shit-balls and Orchid Rage.
I must add that the above-mentioned allergies are my husband’s, not mine. I don’t gripe too much about said fake Christmas tree because fake = prelit, and prelit KICKS ASS.
I always thought that “Midsummer’s Night” smelled like Cool Water cologne for men. You said “hard to decode” and that’s my opinion of what that elusive and delicious scent was.
“… but come on, let me have my fantasy!”
Funny, I always have.. ur.. other.. fantasies when using those things.
*cough*
I love Yankee Candles (still), but I can’t stand the “food” smelling ones…like “Buttercream”, “Chocolate Chip Cookie”, etc. The smell and I know it mellows when lit, but the testing sniff is almost nauseating. The testing sniff is key in a candle purchase, getting a good sniff of the right candle to match your mood.
The combinations are just weird, I saw one called Pineapple & Jasmine…who the hell thought of that? The worst was “Mint Licorice” I won’t even do a test sniff of it.
I looked at Yankee’s website, at an alphabetical list of the various scents, and some are just so out there.