When I was 19, I fell in love. I was a junior in college. I was carrying a full course-load, not to mention acting in plays. I was the lead in the fall musical, during the height of this wacko relationship. It was a massive part, requiring a hell of a lot of work. And suddenly: LOVE! For the first time! I should probably put that in quotations, actually, due to my retrospective take on the matter: “LOVE”! But still. It was my first romance, so whatever. It sure felt real to me at the time. A sweeping passionate roller-coaster love affair which OBSESSED ME. We were going out, we were breaking up, we were going out, we were breaking up … (I described the whole thing here – I wrote that piece in the context of the J-Lo and Ben Affleck insanity… member them?)
Anyway, this post DOES have a point, and I will get to it.
Somehow, I still managed to get a 4.0, and kick some MAJOR ASS in the play I was doing … but it was a struggle, man. It was a struggle to not just concentrate on the dude I was dating (or not dating, depending on the week). All I wanted to do was moon about thinking about him, and writing in my journal. All I wanted to do was hang out at his house and play Mario Brothers. All I wanted to do was be with him, and go to the movies, and flirt over cups of coffee, and fight in public, and make up in public, and wander around the campus having adventures.
But I had bigger fish to fry. I was in school. I am a perfectionist. I needed to do well in school. I was in a play. I had a huge part. It took a lot of work. I had to manage my time – and not only my time, but my mental focus. THAT was the key for me. Because I was in college, and having the busiest semester of my life, my time already was managed for me. From the second I woke up until 11 o’clock at night, I knew where I had to be. There was no free time. So that part was settled. But my mental focus? I could sit in class and just doodle in my notebook, and daydream about my boyfriend. That’s all I wanted to do. He took up so much space in my brain – but there needed to be some internal brake put on my own desires, because: I needed to get good grades, and I needed to work my ass off for this play. I needed to say, on a daily basis – sometimes on a minute to minute basis – “Okay. Stop thinking about him. Study.” or “Put him out of your mind during your voice lesson. FOCUS, Sheila.” And for the most part, it worked. I was able to do my work, AND be crazy wild nuts over this guy.
I ain’t saying it was easy. But it was what I had to do. Great lessons there, for the future. Life doesn’t stop just because you happen to fall in love. Maybe it stops for a little while, and all you can think about is the new love … but that phase cannot last. (This is the phase where the person in love totally blows off all her friends. A woman gets a boyfriend and suddenly she disappears off the face of the earth. The friend-blowoff usually happens in this beginning phase. BUT: when that phase ends, and real life picks up again … this is when the person in love has to make a bunch of apologetic phone calls to her blown off friends. “Hi … sorry I haven’t been around lately … how are you? I miss you! Can we have a girls night out?” It’s a textbook scenario, totally to be expected.) Life has to go on. You still are a PERSON outside of that, you still have your OWN stuff to do, and you cannot neglect those things. You cannot. Otherwise, life gets all messed up.
Why am I rambling about this?
Oh, because I just read this article over at Bill McCabe’s.
Quote:
Katie Holmes has reportedly been dropped from the next Batman movie – for getting engaged to laugh-a-minute Tom Cruise.
Warners Bros chiefs are reportedly unhappy that her blossoming love for the Mission Impossible star diverted attention away from Batman Begins.
Katie, Katie … you’ve let the first blush of love (however misguided we all think it is) cloud your judgment. You are making the mistake of thinking that this first moment of passion must sweep away all other concerns. You are hurting your career.
More:
Bale as Batman was the first to put pen to paper, followed by Caine as butler Alfred and Freeman as Bruce Wayne’s business associate Lucius Fox.
“Everyone is in agreement that the movie’s strength is with Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman,” a source is quoted in pagesix.com.
And the insider added Holmes is out.
“She won’t be in the sequel, the next romantic interest will be a much stronger actress. Warner is happy that people are now focusing on who’ll be playing the Joker rather than Katie and Tom,” he added.
Ouch. This is a complete reprimand. This is a criticism that she should listen to. This is a total and public rejection. Day-um.
Her behavior over the last 3 weeks has alienated a major movie studio. She lost her priorities. (Maybe Mr. Cruise wants her to lose her priorities?) She lost her “mental focus”, if she ever had it. She let the love affair be #1, when it should have been the movie that was #1. These are not easy choices to make … and I’m not saying I handled my situation with grace AT ALL. I had a lot of meltdowns that fall semester, with everything on my plate.
“Do I pay attention to my mental health and skip a class so I can GET SOME SLEEP??? Or do I suck it up, and go to class, and just know I’m going to be tired … Do I go out with my boyfriend tonight after rehearsal … or do I go home and get some shut-eye? When do I sleep? When do I eat? I’M IN LOVE! AHHHHHH No, no, stop thinking about it. You have to get to rehearsal. Keep it down, keep it down … keep your eye on the ball … ”
Every. Single. Day that was my interior monologue.
And here’s the deal (and that was my point in one of the stories I linked to up there – the J-Lo and Ben Affleck one) … I was lucky enough that I could struggle through all this on the relatively small stage of a university setting. The eyes of the world were not watching, and millions of dollars were not at stake.
If I had decided to just get C’s for the semester, oh well, I need to just be in love right now, and I can’t focus on my schoolwork … there definitely would have been repercussions, in terms of my GPA … but who the hell remembers all of that 20 years after the fact? Who cares? I got an F in Freshman Psychics in high school. An F. It was one of the worst and scariest times of my life. But do I remember it? Do I define myself by it? Do people say about me, “Ah, Sheila. Great girl. She’s the one who got an F in Freshman Physics.”? No. It is not remembered. I was able to mess up and not ruin my chances for the future.
Katie right now is ruining her chances for the future. It’s already happened. She may break up with him, and come back and surprise us all … but her behavior over the last month will not be forgotten. The public will forget about it quicker than Warner Brothers will.
She messed UP. She pissed off Warner Brothers. What is she, nuts? Being famous can make you lose your bearings, obviously. You live in a bubble, and people around you want to support that bubble, because probably their paychecks depend on you still being famous. So she is protected from what people are really saying.
But this is undeniable. This is proof positive. She will not be involved in the rest of the Batman franchise.
She BLEW IT.
As I have written before: If I had been world-famous during my junior year of college, the tabloids would have had a field day. Not only that … but by the end of my junior year, the public would have experienced complete Sheila Fatigue. Like: enough. ENOUGH with the dramas, Sheila. Settle down. Either date this guy or break up with him. But ENOUGH with this: ooh, are they together, are they not, they were seen having breakfast at Del Mor’s at 7 am … what does THAT mean?? … Rumor has it that they did not speak to each other for the entirety of the cast party … If they were ignoring one another, though, then what is THIS photo about?? Exclusive! Exclusive! This is unconfirmed, but a very reliable source tells us that Sheila threw a pretzel at his head during a recent argument … Sheila, Sheila, is it true?
No comment.
Wouldn’t you roll your eyes in line at the supermarket, staring at the tabloids, if you had to read that malarkey every time you wanted to buy a gallon of milk? Wouldn’t you, in your un-famous life, think: “Good God, woman, why do we care about your melodramas? Just break up with the guy. I am sick of you. Why should we care about you and your stupid romance?”
I was young. I was in love. I was insane. And luckily for me and my future reputation: I was not famous.
Hey Sheila, great, as usual. I think you will find this article from the Times on the brain, love, and the insanity that happens when the two are mixed interesting:
“In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalizing a lover, absorbing elements of the other person’s opinions, hobbies, expressions, character, as well as sharing one’s own. “The expansion of the self happens very rapidly, it’s one of the most exhilarating experiences there is, and short of threatening our survival it is one thing that most motivates us,” said Dr. Aron, of SUNY, a co-author of the study.”
cut and paste this entire url:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/31/health/psychology/31love.html?ex=1120708800&en=7cd9edf174aa04e8&ei=5087&nl=ep&emc=ep&rd=hcmcp?p=048vdH048vek481lN012000mWBVGWBJ5
I love the fact that we can already draw life lessons from TomKat.
Carrie – hahahahaha Yes, there better be some life lessons in here for all of us – otherwise what is the point??
Liam – the title of that article alone made me laugh!
“Watching New Love as It Sears the Brain”
Uhm. Yes. Exactly.
“the next romantic interest will be a much stronger actress”
Ouch.
Sheila,
I watched the tabloid shows again last night – I can’t help it. This TomKat thing is controlling my life. If my dad knew he’d yell at me until he made me feel like the dumbest human who ever lived. Anyway, they were covering the War of the Worlds premiere in London where Tom Cruise was “attacked” (attacked! Um, that was a shitty thing to do and everything, but Leonardo DiCaprio was attacked. Tom Cruise was the blunt of a stupid joke. He was not attacked). Remember when Batman Begins was all about him, him, him? They didn’t show Katie *once* during this, except from the back. No interviews, no smiles, no soundbites. Him, him, him.
Really, she is going to wake up one day when she’s gone from giddy, naive girl to grown woman with a sense of self and desperately wonder what she’s done with the past ____ months/years of her life. And the purging of her thetans will not allow her to get away.
I swear I only hit post once with that last comment….
“This TomKat thing is controlling my life.”
Emily, I love you. That is so feckin’ funny. If it’s true that TomKat is controlling your life (first of all: TOMKAT????) – then you have obviously come to the right place.
I honestly don’t know where the interest comes from. I NEVER watch those shows. I think they’re stupid (BTW, Lindsey Lohan makes me want to puke, just so you know), shallow entertainment for retardos with no life. But last night I was like, oh, I can’t stay late at work! Tom Cruise got splashed in the face with water in London! There’s gossip to be heard! Soundbites to cling to! The same shots over and over and over to be witnessed! Priorities, people. Priorities!
I’m actually guessing it’s my horror at witnessing a young girl’s very public initiation into a cult. I’ve never seen it before. I’m half fascinated, half sad to watch a young woman completely surrender her life because she thinks she’s fulfilling a girlhood fantasy or something. They have her now. I keep wondering where the people that love her are through all of this.
Here’s the question. Is $5mil — $1mil per year — worth it?
Emily – yeah, that’s my fascination, too.
I wonder if they are just blinded by his celebrity. I have never met Tom Cruise … and I’ve met some pretty damn famous people, and I know it can be disorienting especially if you love them (I was a blithering idiot RIGHT AT Anthony Hopkins … Oh, I so wanted to be cool, and I just couldn’t be!) … but I wonder if the people who love her are dazzled by his celebrity?
I can’t imagine my parents being okay with me behaving that way … even if I was dating the most famous man in the world. I feel like SOMEONE in my life would say something!
Can I confess, Lindsay Lohan was so cute in Parent Trap. Haven’t a clue about anything else she did cause I haven’t seen her movies. But the blonde locks? Honey, what are you thinking? Or rather, maybe that’s like an excellent reason to eat because obviously when you stop eating, you can’t think properly anymore.
Doesn’t it creep you out how quiet the Kat half is, how vacant she looks, like she is just showing up and trying to say as little as possible in order to fulfil her duties and then split? What a major disaster. I wonder if she can sue for breach of contract. I mean, ok, on the upside, she gets great exposure and a side benefit is supposed to be a step up or two for her career. But obviously that is seriously backfiring because of the poor public relations handling. If her career goes in the tank and all she is known for is ‘that chick who made Tom Cruise lose it’ (if she even gets remembered for it, more likely people will only remember that he went nuts), then she is really dumber than she is getting credit for. I mean, if it sounds too good to be true — hey, wanna pretend to be my fiance for 5 years, and pocket $5mil and boost your career? — it probably is.
Dude, should I be glad your blog is a place I can come and obsess about this or should I be cursing you?
I loved her in Mean Girls. She was adorable, and actually very good.
But something strange has happened. It is the incredible shrinking woman. The blonde hair does not suit. The skeleton frame does not suit.
She became so famous so fast, and she obviously has no parental guidance. (Sorry that I know that, but I just do.)
A friend of mine worked for The Real World for 7 or 8 years, and she said that during filming almost all of the girls developed some kind of eating disorder. if they came in fine with healthy eating habits, by the end of the shoot – they were picking at celery, and preening in front of mirrors, having lost 30 pounds. Something about cameras being trained on you ALL DAY LONG … It heightens anxiety about your appearance.
Lindsay Lohan said that she used to get crank calls from one of Hilary Duff’s friends (member their feud? I know. It’s sad that I do.) But anyway – Lohan would come home and there would be messages on her machine of bitchy anonymous girls saying, ‘Have you tried pilates, fatty?’ ‘You’re too fat to be Hilary’s competition.’ Etc.
So naturally – even though she’s gorgeous – she took it to heart. Now she is Skeletor. And it is very sad.
Carrie …
I thank God I have created a place on the web where people can come and worry obsessively about TomKat and Lindsay Lohan.
My life’s work is done.
Emily:
“But last night I was like, oh, I can’t stay late at work! Tom Cruise got splashed in the face with water in London! There’s gossip to be heard! Soundbites to cling to!”
hahahahaha I know!! Right??
Carrie,
I thought she was adorable when she was younger. There’s just something really annoying about her these days. The skeleton figure, the blonde hair, the whole “oooo, I’m such a starlet…look at me!” routine. Puke.
I wonder how much of it is being dazzled by celebrity? I know my parents would not be. They might be charmed by it at first, but I know that their love and desire to protect me would come before anything else. Perhaps she’s so far gone, they worry about alienating her forever for being “supressive persons” or something. If she’s even hinted that any of her loved ones do not support her conversion 100% or are questioning Scientology, they’re already working on ways to convince her to get these people out of her life. And Tom is probably helping them and has made her believe that he’s doing it out of love.
That is sick.
Ok, have you two seen this site yet? Emily will probably know the artist, he seems very LA.
http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/ (click on my name for the hyperlink)
Our gal Lindsay was at the Mr & Mrs Smith do-thing the other day and she was all oooo Brad Pitt and he was all, Lindsay who, what? But apparently because he is so Brad, he was very nice to her. Don’t think she’ll be in Ocean’s 13 though.
Yeah, I know my parents would not give a rat’s ass if it was Joe Schmoe or Johnny Depp who gave me the glazed look in my eyes … They put ME first.
Maybe they think she’s happy. Maybe they don’t know anything about scientology. It’s hard to believe other people aren’t as obsessed with it as I am … but many people know nothing about it, except that stars are into it.
And yeah … to think that it’s possibly a 5 year contract … I mean. It just chills the bone.
Maybe she’s just really really really naive. In interviews she’s always seemed kind of refreshingly naive … you know, like not jaded or cynical … but now she may be moving into the DUMB brand of naivete.
Carrie – hahaha Yeah, I heard that story. She races up to him excitedly on the red carpet … gushed over him … and Brad looked at her like: “Uhm … have we met?”
Lindsay: you were a freckled redhead when America fell in love with you. Don’t change too much, babe. Learn the lessons from Jennifer Grey’s career, mkay?
I have a feeling it’s more like, they have been briefed on the contract and aren’t saying anything yet until Katie decides she wants to blow the deal but even then threats of lawsuits and all that stuff probably keeps people quiet. I mean, what is keeping anyone in the whole Bradina Triangle from spilling any beans, maybe just like, that’s what they wanna do, so I’m keeping my mouth shut to the press. It’s kind of a no-no, isn’t it, for friends and family to talk outside of school to the press about what they really think/know is going on.
Ok Red I am glad you have this blog because you know, these are the sorts of debates and questions that really need discussed.
“…Lindsey Lohan makes me want to puke, just so you know…”
She much more makes me want to cry than puke. She’s physically destroyed herself in less than a year. Does anyone actually think she somehow loks better that way? It’s like the girl she was is just…gone.
Ooh, who _is_ going to play the Joker?
I would probably sign in blood on the dotted line for Johnny Depp. Like that’s gonna happen.
Sheila,
I’m amazed at the people I collide with, in person and on the internet, that do not understand how dangerous scientology is. People have even argued that is no different than mainstream religions, it just has fewer followers. I’ve been lectured about being a religious bigot. It’s something that is very hard to explain to some people when you tell them it’s not about hating Xenu and the Thetans or limiting people’s beliefs. I don’t care if someone worhsips the magically delicious guy off the Lucky Charms boxes. It’s about the KIDNAPPING and the EXTORTION and the MANIPULATION and the FRAUD and the DELIBERATELY DESTROYING PEOPLE’S LIVES.
See? I feel like I have to SCREAM IT, it upsets me that much. And I can’t do jack shit about it. Nobody can go on talk shows and educate the public about how dangerous it is because the Scientologists will DESTROY THEIR LIVES. Not just because they want to, but because they are OBLIGED TO BY DOCTRINE.
SICK. SICK. SICK.
hahaha
I would become a Moonie for Ewan McGregor.
But there I draw the line.
Also, with other religions – you can just walk in the door and get information about it.
“Hi. What does the Catholic church believe? I’m thinking of joining.”
You actually would get a bunch of questions answered, you actually could get a straight answer about the doctrine. You wouldn’t have to spend thousands of dollars before they reveal to you the truth of Catholicism.
It’s NOT like other religions, in that respect.
Scientology keeps its true nature secret from those seeking information. That’s a classic cult maneuver.
But now with the Internet – it’s harder to keep it secret. You and I sit here and we discuss Xenu and thetans … but that used to be top-secret stuff that only a couple of people on earth knew. Now it’s OUT THERE.
So no. It is NOT like other religions. It’s a scam. A highly successful scam.
The worst part about it is that Hubbard admitted this. He said so, in his own words. He started a religion to make money. It is the only thing he ever attempted in life that he didn’t fail at.
Well, he *was* under indictment at the time of his death, so a person could even argue that he failed even there. And idiots eat it up.
I like Johnny Depp for the Joker, although maybe there’s something a little too ethereal about him: the Joker’s crazy, but he can also be down-to-earth and deadly serious in his own way. That’s why I could see Gary Oldman in the role if he wasn’t already playing Jim Gordon (and I thought he did a great job of that, even overshadowed as he might be by more “larger-than-life” characters). As I mentioned in Bill’s comments, I’d also like Mark Hammill, who did his voice for years on the animated series and I think may have even won an Emmy for it, or at least been nominsted.
Brittany Murphy is who first comes to my mind to play Harley Quinn, the Joker’s girlfriend. I’ve liked her in everything I’ve seen her in.
Hey you guys –
check out this frightening article:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,160192,00.html
Oh God. Her friends are too frightened to say anything. Katie, run away. AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
Aren’t there professionals who can arrange cult interventions or something?
Rick Ross would be the guy to contact. But who would know about him? If you Google “Cult intervention”, his website is the first thing on the list. I wonder if anyone has contacted him. Every single day he posts EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE about Katie Holmes he can find on his website … compiling all the information.
But if you go up against Scientology, you have to know that they are ruthless. I think people get really frightened.
You know what? This shit really pisses me off. There’s got to be a way to get more people behind this, get the word out until there are enough critics that can stand shoulder to shoulder and PUBLICLY condemn this “church” without worrying about sacrificing the lives of themselves and their families. They can’t come after all of us.
Just thinking about this all morning, the voice of Neil Young has been drifting through my ears. “Helpless, helpless, heeeeee-eeeelpless.”
Here’s a Katie Holmes fan-site from a Google search.
In the Biography section.. Trivia
Favorite Actors/Actresses: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster
Fantasy Date: Leonardo Dicaprio
No mention of Cruise AT ALL.
But the link to the site-name is now being re-directed.. after seemingly being dormant for over a year..
click through to the new bio page – an absence of the information.
For now, the top link in that search does list in the fun facts section
Favorite Actors/Actresses:
Tom Hanks
Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster, and Meg Ryan.
She had a crush on Ralph Macchio and Leonardo Dicaprio.
That’s a very disturbing article, Sheila.
“Somewhere during that time, she decided to fire both her manager and agent”
She’s cut off from everyone involved in her career pre-Cruise.
Katie! Stay away from the Cruise!
Dream cast #1: Tom Cruise as the Joker.
Dream cast #2: Ralph Reed as the Joker.
i actually loved lindsey lohan in “freaky friday”–i really mean it when i say that was a GREAT movie. esp. jamie lee, but jamie lee couldn’t have been as funny as she was w/o lindsey as her straight man.
niki and i “hung out” with her at the after party for SNL. and by “hung out”, i mean, she was checking her makeup in the bathroom and we pretended we were in a conversation while we watched her through the mirror!! it must’ve been kinda nutso for her to be a 17 year old hosting SNL!
“And by ‘hung out’ I mean …”
hahahaha
Totally! I remember her on SNL actually. She did a good job. Yeah, I was angsting about whether or not David would bowl with me during gym class when I was 17 – she’s hosting SNL.
BAH!!
Emily & Sheila, your comments and attitudes about Scientology are perfect, and I so appreciate seeing them, on earlier posts as well as this one. It’s what my attitude about Scientology has been for years now, only you’re more passionate, vehement, and expressive about it. I especially love the 11:56 and 12 noon posts. Thank you.
On another note, while I identify also with your view on what’s happening with (to?) Katie Holmes in particular, getting caught up in Scientology, I’m not disappointed to see she won’t be in the sequels to Batman Begins. I don’t think she was terrible, but she did not belong in that role. She could not hold her own opposite Christian Bale. Maybe it’s just a matter of age, but she doesn’t come off as his peer in any way. I feel really bad for her that she’s gotten sucked into Scientology and hope she manages to pull out of it, but Batman Begins would have benefited from someone else in that role.
“…she doesn’t come off as his peer in any way.”
She also doesn’t come off as a remotely believable Assistant DA, either, and that can’t JUST be the screenplay–which was otherwise very good–giving her some very cliched lines.
The one slight disappointment is that since Carl Finch got whacked, Harvey Dent (AKA, eventually, Two-Face) could’ve been her boss in the next one, and that interaction might’ve been more interesting. Not enough to justify her continued presence, however.