— I have a scratch on my eyeball. I am now taking steroid eye-drops and have to wear an eyepatch. Naturally, this is the press screening month for Tribeca Film Festival so I am now watching up to 2 movies a day (sometimes 4), and I look like this.
I fell UP the stairs at the Tribeca Theatre, wiping OUT at the feet of the security guard. Cut me some slack, I got a bum eye. I was talking to my brother and he said, “You should say to the Tribeca people, ‘I only review movies that are rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.'”
— Re-reading A Cinema of Loneliness
— I start a new freelance gig next week which hopefully will be a lot of fun.
— Seen a lot of good stuff at Tribeca so far. Seen some mediocre things too – but saw at least one gem. I’ll be busy writing reviews over the next couple of weeks, I am already a week behind in all of my writing … but I’ll catch up.
— Found myself researching Paddy Ryan yesterday, and one thing led to another and an hour of my life was lost, following Google links about bare-knuckle boxers. This was for yet another freelance gig I’m doing right now, so it was actually work – but it was one of those moments where an entire world you had never been aware of suddenly opens up before you. I love research for that reason.
— Jean, Pat, Lucy and William are coming down this weekend and will be staying with me. I haven’t seen my niece and nephew in a couple of months- it is ridiculous – I might as well live 1000 miles away. I’ve just been buried in freelance stuff. Ugh! So I can’t wait to see them, even though it will be brief. I have 6 movies to see this weekend.
— I don’t know, do you think my cat Hope is comfortable with me and relaxed in my presence?
— My friend Allison, after being away for a year, is moving back to New York City. I can’t believe it. I basically refused to admit she was gone, for this entire year. I’m almost nervous for her return. We’re great friends.
— Found an old picture in a shoebox that brought back an entire time. My friend Brett (who just died) was in an internship at a theatre in Massachusetts, and so was Liz – so a bunch of us drove there in a wild caravan to see the shows they were doing and hang out. The caravan was made up of Brooke and her boyfriend and me and Antonio (who eventually would be my boyfriend, but wasn’t yet at the time). We had one of those weekends with so much laughter that you are amazed that someone doesn’t pass out. Dumb jokes. We saw, like, 3 plays, I think, including a Kabuki workshop production of The Oresteia. We all slept in the same bed. We had pizza. I made Brooke laugh so hard on the car ride there that I heard a whole OTHER sound come out of her mouth. I know Brooke’s laugh, I know what it sounds like – but she went to another level in that car ride. And I honestly can’t describe why we laughed so hard although we both remember what triggered it … So I was digging through a shoebox and pulled out this photo. Struck by Brett in the front row on the right. My hand on his shoulder. It is still unbelievable to us that he is gone.
Back row: Brooke, Me, Jim
Front row: Antonio, Brett
— Hopefully, my pirate-stage of life will be over soon. I saw the doctor yesterday and he said my eye is nearly completely healed. Those steroids work quick, man. On Sunday and Monday, my eye was irritated so badly that it was completely closed with tears constantly streaming down my face for the entire day. I could FEEL the scratch. As a joke, I wrote on Facebook: “One day of steroids and my eye feels so much better. Of course I am now suffering from ‘roid rage as a result of my 4 hours being on these meds, so I am blasting Marilyn Manson at the moment to take the edge off.” My friend Noonz replied:
The eyepatch. The steroids. The hypothetical Marilyn Manson trigger event. You’re this far from realizing some sort of comic book origin story.
I’m still laughing about that.
//an hour of my life was lost, following Google links about bare-knuckle boxers.//
That sounds like an interesting project!
I had a (male) law professor who always used she instead of he. It startled all of us the first time he did it. Most caught on pretty quickly, but one guy challenged him and got the reply that if we are generalizing the human race, why should half of it be forgotten?
Then again, Churchill always refused to use “he or she”on the principle that “the male embraces the female”.
Dan – yeah, it was really interesting! Some of these bare knuckle fights went on for 6, 7 hours – it must have been insane!
Paul – I think I like your college professor. It’s nice to at least ACKNOWLEDGE that saying “he” when you mean “men and women” is problematic – and it’s nice when MEN do it. I mean, I’ll keep speaking my truth about it – but unfortunately it’s good to have male backup. Women always get accused of being whiners – but again, that’s just the unthinking priviliged status of males – who then suddenly balk at the thought that “womankind” or “she” is supposed to include them. I could even get annoyed at the face that the very word “woman” and the very word “she” includes the male word … Language, like I said, is important, but there’s only so much I can be annoyed about in any given day.
And I’m with Churchill – I hate “he or she” – it NEVER sounds good – although unthinkingly only using “he” also annoys me. There are no good solutions, as of now – and I really appreciate that this entire scholarly book uses “she”. Good. At least one point for my team!
Sheila, yeah, Jeff was one of the good guys. Mind you, being a Marxist and a property law professor he sparked some rather riotous debates. I once asked him how he could teach a subject he believed should be abolished, he smiled and said that he would change to constitutional law come the revolution.
Another approach to the language problem was that of writer, whose name I can’t remember. He thought that if the speaker was male then the generic third person pronoun should be ‘he’, and if female then ‘she’. This seems a little self defeating as it splits humanity (there’s that M word again) into us and them.
// I once asked him how he could teach a subject he believed should be abolished, he smiled and said that he would change to constitutional law come the revolution. //
hahahaha He sounds like a hoot.
There really is no way around it – unless grammar rules are changed to allow us to say “them” with impunity. That STILL doesn’t sound right, and it’s not grammatically correct if you are talking about something “singular” – ugh!!!
I know there have been attempts to come up with a new word – like s/he – or some such nonsense? I’m too much of a language nut to go along with that – but it really is outrageous to have a relic of such unbelievable sexism in our language. Or, not even sexism – it basically just wipes women out!!
Again, people will say I’m being too sensitive – and I think if you just imagine it the other way around (if you’re a male who doesn’t “get it”, that is) – you can see how weird it would feel. If you start to notice it, you think, “Wait … what about ME? Am I included in this conversation??”
I know there are all these weird Latin roots of words which give us a clue as to how certain attitudes developed – or at least the thinking behind the thing being described. “Pudendum” has is from “pudere” which means, basically, “to be ashamed”. The NAME of the thing tells you how to FEEL about it. “Penis” has no such illuminating Latin root. It is descriptive merely – the Latin root means, loosly, “tail”. You know, it just describes what it is. It doesn’t say, “You should be ashamed of this thing on your body.”
grrrrrr
Now that Pudendum fact alone is enough to make me want to burn my bra and become a revolutionary.
But “he or she” I can live with, albeit a bit grumpily.
That’s fascinating about the etymology of pudendum. Reminds me (a right-y) of the linguistic degrading of left handedness: the Latin for left being sinister etc.
There is a long tradition of things feminine being seen as other and, well, wrong – look at all the cultural traditions, from all over the place, surrounding menstruation (an interesting appearance of ‘men’), and yes, this is confirmed daily, and unconsciously, in the language we use. I agree that the problem is unsolvable (in English at least, French, for example, doesn’t have so much of a problem) without inventing a new word.
Oh, and I tend to use ‘them’ and ‘they’ when speaking – to hell with grammar, we don’t need no stinkin’ grammar.
I’m very interested in the development of language – and love Latin – but sometimes I come across something like “pudere” and a shudder goes over me. Shame is absorbed by osmosis, especially when it is built into the language. I fully believe that. I was in my late 20s when I discovered the Latin root of my own body part, and thought, “Well, that certainly explains a lot.”
I try to look at it as interesting as opposed to it defining me, but there is only so much you can do with the FACT that the word for your body part (that actually brings LIFE into the world) is “to be ashamed”. Unbelievable, right?
But then there are really cool Latin facts like the two roots for the word “disaster” – are “dis” (separation from) and “astrum” (star) – so a “disaster” actually means “separation from the stars”, which I think is just mind-blowingly cool. It gives me a new understanding of the true meaning of the word.
But “pudere”? Yeah, I’ll pass on that, thankyouverymuch!
So in French, it’s like there are three genders, almost? “he” “she” and “they”? Is that how it works? My French classes are long in the past.
In French there’s just the two genders (German has the neuter), but the words seem to owe nothing to each other – il (he) and elle (she), ‘le’ and ‘la’ seem to come from the same root, but the female doesn’t derive from the male. And while nouns all have a gender, it doesn’t seem to be the case that the best things are male and the worst female – it’s pretty random.
An interesting English development was the Norman invasion which imposed the ruling class’s language over that of the pre-existing anglo-saxons. So the lowly english would tend the animals that the kingly normans would eat. Hence ‘cow’ comes from the Anglo-Saxon, but ‘beef’ from the Norman French. The same is true with sheep and mutton, and deer and venison. No wonder etymologists rarely see the sun – so much research!
Well, if there weren’t bad connotations associated with “it,” there’s our gender-neutral pronoun. But of course, we want to include gender into our pronouns when mentioning people. That’s the problem.
Also, I once scratched my eye and had to wear an eyepatch while playing basketball, and one of my friends had to wear one when one of her eyes became infected in Japan (she’s fine, now, and eyepatch-less), so I feel for you. On the other hand, I wonder if you could now sue makers of 3D films for discriminating against people with disabilities. ;-)
We need an English version of “On.”
Some writers just go back and forth between he and she, to avoid showing a preference. It still ends up feeling stilted.
RE your poor eyeball– At least it happened at a time when eyepatches are chic.
And at least you haven’t been asked to review a 3-D movie festival.
Small blessings, Sill, I’m glad it’s on the mend.
(Greg beat me to it! ;) )
Re etymology and shame:
Consider ” Estoy embarazada”
???
Greg (or is it litdreamer? What the hell is going on???) – Yes, “it” is the one – but “It” is a terrible term to refer to human beings and it just doesn’t work as you said!
I understand the reasons for the problem and have no solutions (I don’t like “it”, “them” or “he or she”) , but I am going to bitch about it anyway because I dislike it intensely and find it unfair!! I very much appreciate Robert Kolker’s inclusion of me in his text, throughout. It’s very refreshing as a member of the excluded gender. Much better than that awkward “he or she”. I was amazed at how moved I was, to read the “she” text. Again, I am unconsciously accepting of my exclusion in language – and it is only when someone comes along and does the opposite, that I realize how nice it is to be openly included.
My eye is definitely on the mend – thank you!! Cold wet compresses help with the swelling – my left eye was nearly completely shut and is still not 100% – but the eye doc said that the scratch is pretty much vanished now after a couple of days with these eye drops. Amazing!
I know it’s hard to see, but it’s a really great look. Everyone would be asking who you were if you were at an art opening. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
Doesn’t ‘on’ take the masculine verb form? Bloody French are at it too!
Roo – Yes, I worked for a website who alternated between “he” and “she”, and I always found it jarring. They made that choice (it was in their style guide) but to me it just doesn’t read well at all. Also, it makes you OVERLY conscious of the unfairness of the male-pronoun thing … and that definitely takes away from readability. I don’t want to be thinking about “he or she” and the ruling patriarchy when I’m reading a book about herb gardens or whatever.
Paul – ha!!! dammit!
Paul – wow, that beef/cow thing is unbelievable. How on earth do people put these things together and figure it out? Language – I just dip my toe into it, but those who immerse themselves in it have my deepest admiration. Incredible!!
Kelly – // Everyone would be asking who you were if you were at an art opening. //
Ha!! Yes, I’d get my picture in Interview magazine, with a cryptic caption. Meanwhile, I just got a bum eye. I’m nobody.
It is amazing how much depth perception is effed up with only one eye. Hence, my fall up the stairs.
Paul – and yeah, I use “them” too to avoid “he or she”. I think the rule should be changed, frankly. :)
I’m reminded of how people can say “bitch” on television, even in sitcoms, but if they say “fuck” it’s some big deal. Even though “fuck” seems like a less harmful word to me. It’s more of an expletive than an insult.
Oh, and speaking of weird, woman shaming culture: I was reading about Sucker Punch the other day and according to Wikipedia:
“The film received a PG-13 rating. To avoid an R rating, a love scene was cut. Browning said, “I had a very tame and mild love scene with Jon Hamm… I think it’s great for this young girl to actually take control of her own sexuality.” She added, “[The MPAA] got Zack to edit the scene and make it look less like she’s into it. Zack said he edited it down to the point where it looked like he was taking advantage of her. That’s the only way he could get a PG-13 [rating] and he said, ‘I don’t want to send that message.'”
So a consensual love scene recieves a higher rating than a rape scene? Color me creeped out.
Desirae – Wow. Shaking my head.
Reminds me of the kerfluffle about the Blue Valentine rating. Which basically shows a married couple trying to connect sexually – really no big deal actually (although devastating) – quite real, painful and uncomfortable to watch – and there are a couple of scenes of him going down on her (or at least attempting to – she keeps resisting). Ryan Gosling made a statement about the “misogyny” inherent the ratings system which I think is quite apt … although I think there was more going on with the NC-17 rating kerfluffle than just the fact that he was seen going down on her. I think it was the REAL-Ness of it that got it the rating. But a man going down on a woman seems, I don’t know, like it’s pretty standard practice in the fucking sex practices of adults – is it really that RADICAL??) – It’s an adult film. It’s not meant for kids. Men go down on women. I don’t know of anyone who is shocked or grossed out by that. Do you? Common practice. It’s what ‘we do’ in bed together.
Again: shaking my head.
Women getting pleasure, or men seen in the “prone” role GIVING pleasure is always going to be disturbing to the ridiculous status quo. These little ratings battles are always interesting to watch. Blue Valentine won the battle, and I think it was a small victory for real human depictions of men and women onscreen – not glorified blow-up dolls and doofus complaining man-boys. UGH. Both men and women are dehumanized in such depictions.
The PG-13 rating has caused so many problems of this nature – definitely adding to the degradation of women, and highlighting more pornographic titillating images than honest open depictions of women or young girls. Trying to get a PG-13 rating means you go into that creepy creepy realm (more often than not).
Yeah, not exactly an outre sexual practice. The MPAA is such a strange organization.
Someone pointed out to me once that men are rarely portrayed in a vulnerable position in a sex scene – they’re always in charge, and it always looks pornographic rather than real. Which may be what makes sex scenes in film so frankly boring much of the time.
I’m not sure what the hell is up with the PG-13 rating. I can see why it’s so coveted from a business perspective, as it has the widest audience, but why does EVERYTHING have to be rated PG-13? Some stuff is just not appropriate for an under 13 audience, and that it okay. Not to mention that what they think is appropriate really does end up being degrading so much of the time. I am far more likely to end up offended, as a viewer, a woman or a human being, by a PG-13 movie than anything rated R. And that’s just wrong.
Desirae – I read a piece recently about the problems of the PG13 rating as regards to Sucker Punch – I’ll see if I can find it.
It’s the infantilization of our culture. I’m an adult. I can enjoy Toy Story but I want to be free to see adult films. I was so impressed by the fact that Curtis Hanson and Eminem, when making 8 Mile, knew from the get-go that they wanted it to be rated R. To soft-pedal the things like sex/racism/violence that NEEDED to be in that movie in order to be truthful would have been awful. It was a radical move – because at that point Eminem’s main fan base was, what, 14 years old?? hahahaha
But that was an adult movie. A bold move. And it was a hit anyway.
Curtis Hanson and Eminem going for the R rating shows a real committment to the art they were creating. They knew it couldn’t be a PG-13 movie and so they didn’t bother trying to make one. And why should an R rating be something to be avoided? It should just mean, oh – here’s a movie for adults.
To replace ‘he’ or ‘she’, I nominate ‘ert’, short for earthling. I’m pretty sure most of us on this planet are. Earthlings, I mean.
Sorry for the confusion, Sheila. I randomly decided to revert to my actual name from now on, and litdreamer was in fact a bastardization of Literary Dreamer, which is what I called myself when I had an account on Blogger, but which I couldn’t call myself on WordPress, so…..
And then sometimes I comment using my last name, too, which makes it even MORE CONFUSING, mainly because there are several Greg’s out there (or is it Gregs?). But I’m keeping my Avatar the same, so that’s the constant that people should look for. Also, writing styles are difficult to replicate. :-)
In regards to Blue Valentine, I find it odd that Harvey Weinstein was able to get an R rating for the film, but wasn’t able to get a PG-13 rating for The King’s Speech. In my humble opinion, swear words should never merit more than a PG-13, unless they are blatantly misogynistic or racist (This is England being a prime example, which was also a great film). Not only that, in The King’s Speech, the words were used as a form of therapy. But then, Weinstein cuts out the offending parts of the film so that he can release it under a PG-13 and therefore, make more money (which was the main reason he fought for Blue Valentine to get an R rating over an NC-17, too).
The rating system, though, points to a larger problem in our society–in how we view sexuality, women, and language. All three are pretty messed up, and until THAT changes (and in this regard, language can say a lot about a culture’s prejudices and perspectives), we’re stuck with that inefficient anachronism called the MPAA.
I think Weinstein saw Blue Valentine as a prestige project, an arthouse film – and The King’s Speech as a potential blockbuster – which it clearly is. Not to mention Oscar winner. But still: the swears in that? Ridiculous. I know teachers would love to use this as a “teaching tool” (the movie, I mean) about overcoming disabilities – but again: this is another example of the infantilization of our culture. Must EVERYTHING be palatable for the ankle-biters?
Jesus CHRIST, I hope not.
I’m offended by very little – certainly not swear words, or “offensive” words. I am the opposite of PC in many ways – at least when it comes to art. I don’t shake my head in outrage at Eminem’s lyrics. I understand it’s his art, and I love him to death for it. Whatever. I’m an adult, I can work it out for myself.
PG-13 has gotten a lot of heat lately. The problem is obvious, lots of people writing about it, so that’s a good thing.
Primis. :) An English professor friend of mine has spoken out in favor of “they/them;” if I remember right, there may be historical precedent. The rules of grammar (and spelling, perhaps more so the latter) used to be a lot looser. As for me, I use “he” and “she” approximately at random.
Secundus. When I saw the post above this’n, “wossname’s bitter protege” was the first thing that I thought of (of which I thought? meh), even before I scrolled to this one (glad you’re on the mend).
Tertius(?). I can enjoy Toy Story but I want to be free to see adult films.
Okay, see, this is probably going to be something like “having the cheek to make verses about Eärendil in the house of Elrond, but here goes nothing, anyway:
Toy Story was a (well-made) formulaic buddy film, and I haven’t seen Toy Story III yet (little matter of the dissertation), but Toy Story II, at any rate, is an adult film. Mortality’s pretty grown-up.
Those Pixar movies work on both levels – for children and adults – but they are still appropriate for children. All of them are. Toy Story III is definitely a movie with adult themes (more so than the other two) and there is one scene that is downright upsetting. But it’s still appropriate for children. Children’s movies can have very deep and troubling themes and scenes (Bambi, for example) – but still work on a childish level. Still be deemed appropriate for kids.
When I say “adult”, I’m talking about movies like Blue Valentine, Taxi Driver, Don’t Look Now, Mean Streets – rated R films meant ONLY for adults. If those films had been infantilized, we would have had no film. They are raunchy, raw, able to tell the truth about sex and violence – things that should only be for adults. To me, the point I was trying to make was obvious.
Adult themes usually exist in most really good children’s movies. National Velvet (just discussed here on my site) is a good example. Slam-dunk for kids of all ages but as an adult all of these other issues like competition and growing-up and powerful familial relationships come to light. Enduring stories appeal to everyone – and movies geared for children (like the Toy Story movies) have deep resonance for adults – especially because we all remember being children.
Adults should have their fun too without worrying about either the ankle-biters getting “upset” (it’s not for kids, anyway!) or the stupid people who want the entire world to be G-rated.
But adult THEMES does not a “movie for adults” make.
Put a graphic emotionally raw sex scene in the middle of Toy Story II, then maybe we could talk. Have someone’s hand blown off in Toy Story II, and then have a man’s brains splatter against a wall all while a child prostitute screams in the corner, then maybe I’d agree that it was an equivalent example.
Sheila, this great animated series includes mention of the cow/beef dichotomy in episode 2. I knew I didn’t make it up!
http://youtu.be/r9Tfbeqyu2U