Top 5 Ways I Conform to the Gender Stereotype
1. I am very invested, emotionally, in my lipstick-color-choice on any given evening out. The lipstick must match the ensemble. Very very important. I have about 50 lipsticks.
2. Ewan McGregor is so hot that I cannot look at him directly, or even think about him all that much because he would then completely take over my life
3. I obsess about my weight
4. I melt when I see a little butterball baby
5. I have been known to weep at the end of Officer and a Gentleman. Not EVERY time I see it, but probably every FIFTH time I see it.
Top 5 Ways I Do NOT conform to the Gender Stereotype
1. I literally could not care less about “window treatments” of any kind
2. Shopping is NOT a pastime. I am strictly a mission-oriented shopper: Get in, get the hell out.
3. I do not need to be wined and dined by a man. As a matter of fact, wining and dining makes my teeth itch, and somehow causes me to be 10 times more sarcastic than usual.
4. I am not a multi-tasker, and I am sick of the “Women multitask and men don’t” stereotype. I cannot talk on the phone, and ALSO cook. I have to turn down the radio as I approach a toll-booth.
5. I think Joan Jett is hot.
Feel free, as always, to add your own ruminations about how you do or do not conform to your own gender’s stereotype.
I can’t think of five.
Do:
1. Doctors. Unless I’m gushing blood or have an obviously broken bone, I won’t go. It took two weeks for me to see a doc after separating my shoulder. In case of illness, the fever must be above 103.
2. Yes, I think I can fix it or build it, and I must be given the chance to fail before a repairman is called.
Dont:
1. Hunting and fishing don’t really appeal to me, unless I were hungry.
2. Explosions don’t necessarily make a movie better.
Five is a big number.
1. Ditto on the doctor thing….
2. Ditto on the I can fix anything, thing…
3. My clothing has a lifetime contract. I hate shopping and especially shopping for clothes. It was with great sadness that I threw my favorite shirt into the rag box the other day.
4. I like sports. A lot. Too much, even.
I don’t conform, in that:
1.) I have to be very careful about which movies I watch in public, and with whom I see them, because I have been known to cry at movies. Green Mile pops to mind, because I went with co-workers, and got made fun of relentlessly for weeks.
2.) I take extra good care of my skin. Not to insane lengths. No masque treatments or anything; just little stuff, like sunscreen and hand lotion. I feel this will pay off in the long run.
3.) I don’t have to drive. I do, however, have to sit in the front seat.
4.) And I, too, carry a huge emotional investment in the color of my lipstick.
You guys are heroes.
These lists are complete GEMS.
5 ways I conform:
1. I too, am a sap for little babies…could be that biological clock screaming at me, but cute chubby babies always make me get gushy.
2. I hate creepy, crawling thing…especial “s’s”, if one is spotted, I summon my husband to rid the world of it (being humane and putting it outside is unexeptable, because it will come back, out of spite)
3. I love sappy movies.
4. I love “froo froo” drinks (drinks that if a man drank them, their sexuality would be questioned)
5. I’m a sap for cute, fuzzy things (animals, stuffed animals…)
5 ways I don’t:
1. I LOVE football (partly due to my upbringing) and follow it religiously.
2. I do the most driving between my husand and I, and I like that.
3. I don’t cook, I bake, but I rarely cook.
4. I also do not obsess about shopping. I make a list, get what I need, get out and get home.
5. I do not find Brad Pitt in the least bit sexy.
Some more.
Dos:
I sometimes get it into my head that raising my voice can help resolve a situation.
It is very important that the grass look good, so much so that the entire side yard will be torn up and reseeded in April.
My friends and I had only one reason for renting Swordfish
If you think we’re lost, you better be the one to ask for directions.
Donts:
Unless it’s something worth fighting over, I am more likely to settle an argument than continue it just to prove I am right.
I have a good memory for places and dates, so I’m unlikely to forget important anniversaries.
I don’t think I’m afraid of commitment.
It is within the realm of possibility that I actually like my sister’s cats, even the big lug who makes my eyes itch. Given the choice, though, I’d rather share my space with a Rottweiler-sized dog.
Bill –
Very very nice work. I espeically liked “it is within the realm of possibility” … Funny!
And Laura –
You are my soul sister – I just posted something else, “what do you hate that everybody else loves” – and I wrote: “I do not find Brad Pitt attractive”…
God, it feels good to admit that.
People literally FREAK OUT when I say that (well, my female friends do anyway.) They look at me as though I have just said, “I really don’t think I need my left arm and I am going to saw it off right now.”
Oh, and Bill – your “conforming to your gender stereotype” is my non-comforming to mine: I saw Swordfish for one reason only as well.
And Laura –
Ditto on the “s”s. (Bless you for remembering, and for not putting that dastardly word on my blog.)
“S”s must be DEAD, not released into the wild, where they could, conceivably, return to get me.
Sheila,
Hah. I will neither confirm or deny the allegations that my friends and I only watched about 10 minutes of the movie.
I thought there were two reasons to watch “Swordfish”. Well, unless you cross your eyes just right.
A girl in college made this comment after being forced to watch some Alyssa Milano movie (on the excuse that it had been filmed in some guy’s hometown). “This movie has two points. Left and Righty.”
I don’t go for men who look ‘boyish’ and to me Brad Pitt looks ‘boyish’ and wimpy, and like a prettyboy. Yuck.
There were only 10 minutes worth seeing.
Rodya –
Excellent point. Two reasons. Definitely two reasons.
Yeah, I’m not one for the pretty boys either. I can admit objectively that Johnny Depp is attractive, whatever, but give me a Russell Crowe or a Jeff Bridges over that any day.
Yes, there were two individual reasons. But you don’t go out and buy a sock, so it was one collective reason for seeing the film.
It was rumored she was paid a million dollars for that one scene, and I had to see what that looked like.
Oh, Tommy. I’d have made fun of you for weeks too. BTW…that scene in “Saving Private Ryan”, when they pull up to the mother’s home. I got popcorn salt in my eye.
I see my “do conform” items are also those of the other men here…
DO CONFORM:
1. I detest going to the doctor. This has led to an unhealthy distrust and disdain for doctors on my part, as I find most of them incredibly arrogant. The cynics in the Middle Ages were right, I think, in ascribing the following proverb to the medical profession: “Take while the patient is in pain.”
2. I detest shopping, particularly for clothes; because there are plenty of things that would be better use of my time and money. In this vein, I refuse to acknowledge that the “taupe” or “mauve” colored pants I may purchase are anything other than “khaki.”
3. I am a workaholic. After all, if I work harder now, I can retire earlier — my goal is presently to “slow down” at 60. That will give me ten good years, God willing, to really enjoy life.
4. I have a tendency to try and break down everything into a fundamental economic or financial framework, even when it is completely unwarranted. For instance: there are plenty of people who like Coach brand purses or Abercrombie and Fitch clothing; the look, the style, etc. But all I can think when I see such things is how well the company has done with its business plan.
5. I maintain a healthy egotism about my own looks, despite the fact that at any given time, I could stand to lose weight, get a decent haircut, and try some of the hair-care products I deride as unneccessary extravagance.
DON’T CONFORM:
1. I can’t stand the thought of driving anything which the Government deems a “light truck” — an SUV, a 4×4, what have you. Only farmers should own such things: they actually need them. For the rest of us, God invented the sedan.
2. I can’t stand the outdoors. If the outdoors was so natural and wonderful, mankind wouldn’t have built shelter in the first place. Along these lines, I also am not a fan of hunting; that primal urge has gone out of me, I think. This combination, though, has led me to fully support any and all endeavors to bring the envrionment under Man’s control.
3. I’m not really into sports much at all; don’t play them, don’t watch them, don’t follow them. Two notable exceptions to this iron-fast rule are the University of Michigan and the Pittsburgh Steelers’ football squads — although here the issue is one of personal loyalty and not the sport itself.
4. I’ve found I value the potential for good conversation more than good sex. Normally, men in my age bracket hold the opposite view. But the way I see it, if one is in a relationship, one will be doing a lot more of the former than the latter. And there are few things worse in the world than saying something and having the other person give you a blank stare in return. (Mental note: stop griping about America’s current-account deficit on dates).
5. I admit that I currently own and have owned in the past Sting’s solo cassettes or CDs. For a guy, that is no small confession to make. But I may as well be honest about it.
you saw An Officer and a Gentleman more than 5 times?
More nonconformity:
I like Beavis & Butthead and South Park. They absolutely crack me up. I am the proud owner of the B&B DVD Collection. I have no shame.
I also love Monty Python, and for some reason many of my female friends can’t stand it.
I guess I’m just way too easily amused.
Cool idea for a list red…
Conform:
1. I HATE shopping. Will go pretty hungry before going to the grocery store, even.
2. I don’t get lost. I have a map, compass, and a GPS – in all my cars, and usually in my pocket as well.
3. I like guy stuff – hunting, fishing, sports, western movies, movies with Halle Berry naked, etc.
4. I don’t do fashion. I’m not a girl, I don’t have to. I pick my clothes, and everything else, for their function, not their appearance.
5. I have feelings, occasionally, but have no compulsion to talk about them.
Nonconform (somewhat harder):
1. One of my favorite hobbies is sewing. I can make ANTHING. But it’s more likely to be functional than pretty.
2. I’m not a bad cook, although I seldom reveal that fact.
3. I like daytime soap operas (“the stories”, as we used to say when I was a kid). I don’t watch them anymore, as I am at work during the day, but I like them.
4. I am pretty diligent about housework. My house is always pretty well-kept.
5. Although I’m not into fashion, I do like art and design. I’d could never be an interior decorator (unless the interior you wanted decorated was a submarine), but I admire those who do have that talent.
Mere –
I have to have seen that movie about 25 times. I own it.
I saw it last night.
And yes, I shed a couple of pathetic tears.
Ben –
Excellent in-depth work.
I am finding this entire conversation fascinating.
I love people.
I conform because
1. I like looking and dressing sexy.
2. Sappy commercials make me cry
3. I am very service oriented. Guest must be made happy, comfortable and properly nourished. Generally the same for my immediate family, but to a lesser degree. I dont want spoiled children.
4. I love to cook. More importantly I love being a good cook and hearing how good it is!!!!
5. I love jewelry. Simple, elegant and sparklaleeeey!
I do not conform because
1. I hate working with women. I hate backstabbing, gossipy and petty chics. Men generally do not have these characteristics. (Am I being stereotypical? LOL)
2. I do not understand the fascination with movie and rock stars. I only purchased Teen Beat once in my life and never plastered posters in my room during high school.
3. I try as hard as I can to fight the monthly possession of the PMS and D(urning)MS demons. Sometimes this is hard to do, but I TRY!!!
4. My spending is within reason. I love bragging about getting a new blouse for $3.99! I hear horror stories about wifes spending ungodly amount of dollars with nothing to show.
5. I love beer and tequila shots. If I have a margarita it is on the rocks with salt. No fufu drinks for me.
6. I like football.
Fun idea for a post, red.
I’m seeing a fair amount of common ground here.
DO’S:
1. I enjoy sports, as both a fan and participant
2. I do not enjoy going to the doctor
3. I’ve been known to go around a place in circles indefinitely rather than stop and ask for directions
4. I enjoy being outdoors
5. I feel confident in my ability to make adjustments or repairs as needed to various mechanical devices in any given situation (a gift from my dad, a very talented man)
DONT’S:
1. I actually enjoy shopping. My mom taught me how to shop effectively with limited resources, and I’m pretty good at it.
2. My closest friends are women. Although women do carry their own set of issues, they tend to provide the sort of emotional support and meaningful communication you’re not gonna have with many guys.
3. My level of interest in a movie has fairly reliable inverse relationship to the amount of explosions or various other mayhem found within.
4. Of my favorite rock & roll bands, more of them are all-female or at least contain one female than do not.
5. Relating to #2 above, I enjoy below-the-surface conversation. The sociologist in me is always looking to try to see what’s really happening in any given situation, rather than accepting an “official” version of the truth at face value.
Wifebert, I wholeheartedly agree on working with women. I’m a borderline workaholic, and I go to a job to work, not yap about coworkers personal lives and gossip about irrelevant crap. With the exception of a few women who had the same work mentality I have had, I always got along with male coworkers better than female.
1. Can’t fix a damn thing by-and-large.
2. Not only do I ask for directions, I check maps before leaving.
3. Some movies get me all teary-eyed.
On the other hand.
1. I like building fires.
2. I will talk for hours about baseball.
3. I don’t dust.
Hmm, well, I used to fit into the male stereotype pretty well, but then they went and grayed the damn thing so much it’s pretty much up in the air, now. Damn metrosexuals.
Anyway, for this, assume the “male stereotype” to be the Bogart version.
Things that fit:
1. Don’t need to tell someone I can pound them into goo. They know.
2. Cars. If it has less than three hundred horsepower, or comes with an automatic transmission, I’m not interested.
3. Guns. This can be summed up with: More, please.
4. If it breaks, I can fix it. If not, I’ll just build something new.
5. Women should be protected and respected, and act like ladies. At least most of the time.
Things that don’t exactly fit:
1. Love Theatre, for obvious reasons, even the artsy crap. Reason being, even crap can be well played, and that commands a degree of respect.
2. Cooking rocks. While there are a lot of male chefs, I can’t imagine it fitting the stereotype very often.
3. Aesthetics and elegance matter.
4. Don’t really like sports, save baseball and things involving race cars of some origin.
5. Uh.. this space intentionally left blank.
Defining Deviancy in Dean’s World
Sex Stereotypes
Anyone whoh’s read Dean’s World often enough knows that I am utterly convinced that the male and female brains are wired differently. Sorry feminists, but I just do think that! We may be more alike than we…
I find this whole stereotype discussion fascinating, and I’m not sure as a gay man whether I should see if I’m more a stereotypical straight man, stereotypical straight woman, stereotypical gay man, or stereotypical gay woman.
For instance:
I have one dog and one cat. This puts me squarely into the stereotypical gay woman slot.
I love to read. Stereotypical library nerd – male? straight? female? not sure.
I love to cook and eat and entertain. Sounds like we’re finally approaching fruity, but is it? Julia Child is my hero, so does that make me a stereotypical straight woman?
I love work boots and hairy legs and bulging calves and thundering thighs. Gay man? Gay woman? Straight woman?
I don’t call ANYBODY Mary, including my friend Mary (I call her “Mary Jo”). Straight man, obviously.
What I realize is that I am a stereotypical non-stereotype. I’m as categorizable as everyone else, but my niche is that catch-all found on the various personality inventory tools – “test results not relevant.” I’m abnormal (defined as different from the normal) in every way: left-handed, gay, etc. So stereotypes are inapplicable, too.
Do Conform:
I love to shop and window shop. I can spend hours in a store trying on things and not spend a dime.
I like to cook and bake. On occasion I will have a lazy day and settle for cereal at dinnertime.
I also like to dress sexy when I go out and every hair on my head has to be in place.
I also love to get my hair and nails done, “french tips please”.
Don’t Conform:
I do not gush over babies. You will never find me volunteering to babysit, hold, or feed one of those noise makers. I may have one after I’m 30 but believe me, I’m in no hurry.
I love trucks, and there is nothing more attractive than a good looking man behind the wheel of one.
I love to watch wrestling (in particular WWE). Although I must admit, I initially started watching it back when The Rock was the predominant star. I don’t care what anyone says, I think he is sexy as hell.
I do like going to an occasional basketballl or football game. I don’t like to watch them on television, its just not the same to me.