Waldorf and Statler at the Wakefield Cycle

I must get this down while it is fresh in my mind.

I just returned from seeing Classic Stage’s adaptations of the York and Wakefield cycles which were, in general, abysmal. The plays were filled with actors who were completely blown away by the depth of their own emotions. There was a lot of spitting when they spoke. Because they felt so deeply. There were some good moments – I liked the slapstick Noah and the Ark section – but for the most part it was self-conscious nonsense. Condescending. An entire row of people fell asleep.

However – there was a man sitting a bit diagonally behind us, in the 2nd row, who wept, openly, during the entire Pontius Pilate and crucifixion cycle. So it got to someone.

But the most entertaining part of the entire evening was overhearing the conversation of the two men behind us at intermission.

They were like the grouchy muppets in the theatre balcony, Waldorf and Statler.

They were 2 men in their 60s, who obviously had known each other for, say, 50 years. Old friends. With a kind of dry “oy vey” delivery to everything.

Their conversation turned, during intermission, to Shakespeare, and the controversy over whether or not Shakespeare was, in fact, the author of all those plays.

Here are some of the snippets I remember:

Guy #1: So there’s one theory that he didn’t write all those plays.
Guy #2: WHO didn’t write all those plays?
Guy #1: Shakespeare! Shakespeare didn’t write all those plays.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he didn’t write all those plays?
Guy #1: It’s a theory, that’s all … There were other guys (he listed a bunch of names – Marlowe was one of them)

Guy #1: I mean, think about it. What do we know about this guy?
Guy #2: What guy?
Guy #1: Shakespeare! Shakespeare!
Guy #2: Oh – Shakespeare.
Guy #1: We don’t know anything about him! And it was only 400 years ago and we don’t know anything!
Guy #2: 400 years ago? We’re not even sure about what happened 50 years ago!

Guy #1: We don’t know if Shakespeare went to school.
Guy #2: (he began to say something, and then changed his thought in the middle of the sentence) Shakespeare never … He was very smart. (He said this in a tone of generous concession.)
Guy #1: You don’t have to be smart to write a play. (Ed: Oh, really??)
Guy #2: Shakespeare was good at writing poetry.

(Now that’s an understatement)

Guy #1: You think Shakespeare wrote any of that stuff down?
Guy #2: What do you mean, he didn’t write it down?
Guy #1: It wasn’t like it was now, you know. Only if something was produced was it then written down! And actors would only get their parts copied out on a piece of paper! Shakespeare’s name wasn’t on any of it!

After the curtain call to our York cycle extravaganza, I heard one of the guys say, “I didn’t understand those last 2 scenes.” His friend replied, dryly, “That’s cause you’re a Jew.” Then they started snorting with laughter.