This entry is from my junior year in high school.
I’m pretty much posting it here because of the first sentence. I kind of can’t even laugh hard enough for how funny it strikes me … I was completely unaware of how FUNNY I would seem to a future me.
Anyhoo. See if you can get past the first sentence.
NOVEMBER 14
I am going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30. It’s a wicked fun thing where the classes compete by playing basketball on donkeys. I’ve never been but everyone’s making such a big deal about it. It’ll be fun. The band’ll be there. [I was in love with DW, band president – so naturally I suddenly became a huge band afficianado.] Now I didn’t know that when I bought tickets. This just makes it all the more great. I can’t wait!
If you can stand it, I’ve got a few more DW tidbits for you! And I’m not sorry! [Who ya talkin’ to, Sheila?] School is so fun now. Everything goes by so fast. Suddenly it’s 4th period French. He’s always in there before me. Today, though, he was right behind me. I always recognize his voice. Anyway, I came into the room and put my stuff on my desk. DW brushed past me to get to his desk. I hopped up on my desk and sat there swinging my feet. DW came by to throw something away and as he walked by, he glanced down at me and said, “I saw you at the game on Saturday, Sheila.” (in a joking accusing way). My heart started going 5 million beats a milli-second. [Wow. That’s so specific.] And I said, “Well, I saw you too!” That was the best I could come up with spur of the moment. I am a dumbass. Then as he walked by again, I started singing, “Duh- duh – duh – duh – deduh! Duh duh duh duh duh duh …” [Jesus. What are you retarded, Sheila? I have no idea what that song is supposed to be.] Hearing that, he immediately stopped and looked at me. Okay, I suppose I did sing it cause I knew he would hear. Anyway, he started to his desk, singing his jazzy part. [Again with the jazzy?] I almost died. He’s so musical. Really nice deep voice. I felt like throwing myself on him and saying, “You are such a good sax player!” Of course I didn’t. [Glad you didn’t. Also: y’know what, Sheila Teenager? You’re musical too. You have a terrific singing voice. Don’t make him out to be God. You’re pretty awesome yourself. Just thought you should know.]
Anyway, after class – DW walked out in front of me. God, is he tall – I love it – It’s getting easier and easier to just talk to him – it comes more natural. I have inklings sometimes about him, but they’re embarrassing to say. [And saying “I’m going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30” ISN’T embarrassing?] He is always looking over at me. Anyway, I said, “DW!” He stopped and sort of twisted his body to look back at me. [Notice the detail. I noticed EVERYTHING. And I remember EVERYTHING. Body language, how someone stands, turns, their glances, their slight grins – Especially with guys I am crazy about. Their body language is usually emblazoned on my brain like a newsreel. I can still see how the boy I loved when I was 11 tilted his head to the side when he was writing at his desk, etc. etc. A strange phenomenon. And it was in full-blown mania stage with this DW character.] What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see anything? [Er – I hope so. You do, after all, take up space, and are made up of matter. It’s not like you’re a little ghostie and you call out his name – he turns around and there’s nothing there!] I trotted up to catch up to him and we walked along together.
[Please try to read my first comment to DW without guffawing.]
“Is it too late to buy a donkey ball ticket?”
[I am shaking with laughter.]
He said, “Nope!” Very confident voice – not chipper – but … he looked very – pleased, sort of. Happy. Because I was talking to him? Oh God, Sheila. SHUT UP. Anyway, I said, “Can I buy one at lunch?” “You sure can!” I love him! I love his voice! I love the way he walks, talks, smiles at me, holds his books.
Then I turned and flew lightly down the stairs to Math. When the break bell rang, I ran to meet Mere so we could go to lunch together. I assaulted her with: “LET’S GO TO DONKEY BALL! AHHHH!” [Sheila, what the hell is up with your whole Donkey Ball obsession?] Poor Mere was depressed because of BB and I was so up up up! I saw her face, sobered up and said, “Okay. Sorry. I’m serious now.” I tried to keep a straight face, but a smile exploded through, which then got Mere laughing.
We went into the lunch room. There, sitting at one table, with a big donkey ball sign [I swear, if you say “donkey ball” one more time, my head is going to explode.] was DW! I had a heart attack. I attacked Mere, crying, “Oh, let’s get tickets! Let’s get tickets!” Mere nodded wearily. “Okay. Okay.” [hahahahaha “wearily” ] She leant me some money [Good Lord. She leant me money FOR DONKEY BALL TICKETS? That is above and beyond the call of friendship duty] and I casually strolled over. [Sheila, you couldn’t be casual if you tried.] He was sitting – sort of languidly – his long legs jutted out, and I came up. He glanced up, saw me, and smiled — real smile – I love his smile – I mean, it’s like trying to describe how I feel when I’m acting. I can’t say it, or describe it. I just do it. I gave him the money for our tickets and he handed me the change, saying, “Thank you, ma’am! Tell all your friends!”
I can’t — I just can’t — I can’t tell you how I feel!! But I know how I feel, even though I can’t say it.
oh sweet jesus a donkey ball it does not get any better than that.
it really doesn’t.
You see … I was raised in private Christian schools in south. Donkey Ball is pretty common in these establishments.
cullen – I’m not saying Donkey Ball wasn’t common. We had it every year, actually. It was a school ritual – we had championships, whatever. And I went to public school.
I think it’s funny how excited I was about it.
Ah I see. The plane zoomed over my head on that one.
i focused all of my antisocial tendencies onto donkey ball. i had no problem with the toga dance, but the flames of my punk rock fury were ignited by the sheer STUPIDITY of popular kids riding donkeys in the gym. HAAAATTTTEDDDDDDDONKYBALL.
hated it almost as much as you were giddy for it, sheil. so funny. i do have a precious memory of senor falling off one of the asses though. can an ass fall off of an ass?
Oh my Lord Sheila, that is hysterical! I don’t think any non-Rebels could really understand the importance of …oh no I have to say it…Donkey Ball. As a teacher now, I cannot BELIEVE that our school actually let this event take place – students riding around on live animals with helmets that didn’t fit trying to KNOCK EACH OTHER OFF???? WTF!!!! I just remember that they cancelled it after my sophomore year (hmm, wonder why?) and we were all totally bummed! Like, we won’t get to be bad-ass seniors ridin’ high on the asses?
Okay, now I am laughing even harder – I think that Brendan and I were simultaneously commenting from opposite sides of the country. And could our reactions be any different? Now I’m embarrassed that I loved Donkey Ball! I just didn’t have that whole punk-rock-anarchy-everyone sucks attitude. I had that Lisa-Lisa-and-the cult-Jam-don’t-miss-any-social-event-or-you’ll-suck syndrome. so funny!
“students riding around on live animals with helmets that didn’t fit”
BWAHAHAHAHA I know!!! hahahahaha
I loved that you guys posted simultaneously – it’s hilarious.
Uhm – Lisa Lisa? Oh my God.
Sheil – as for the diray entry itself, so cute. I can’t believe how many time s you WROTE Donkey Ball. And didn’t you capitalize it each time? Like it’s The World Series or the Superbowl or something! Nope, just a bunch of teenagers stinkin-like hay and donkey shit!
Oh and Bren, by the way, were you insinuation that one SHOULD have a problem with the Toga dance? I am utterly offended. “TOOOOOO-GAH!”
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around a school in Rhode Island calling its team the Rebels.
Did they put that corkboard stuff down so the donkey hooves would not scar up the basketball floor (not to mention the donkey effluents)?
Yeah, like somehow I thought something magical would happen at Donkey Ball.
no, i mention the toga dance to show my unexamined hypocrisy. like, i’m ok w/drinking peach schnapps and dancing to the animal house soundtrack, but donkey ball is totally inane fodder for the masses.
bren – BWAHAHAHAHA
Roger Williams was a huge rebel.
Our newspaper was called The Rebellion – let’s see what else …
Hey Jean – do you remember what the Narragansett team was called? Our big rivals?
bren – I am still laughing. “my unexamined hypocrisy”
HAHAHAHA
the mariners. i also think it’s funny how us sk kids had this whole rich/poor thing going on w/narragansett. such a joke. like we were molly ringwald and they were james spader, except we were so NOT poor. but i honestly had a chip on my shoulder about all the little trust fund kids that we wanted to beat on thanksgiving at football.
I love the image of a weary Meredith giving you money to shut you up about Donkey Ball. Ha hahaha!!
beth – i know! i was such a pain in the ass!!
sorry, mere!
bren –
I know – I had that same chip on my shoulder when I worked at Pit n Patio and had to deal with the obnoxious Narragansett “trust fund kids”. hahahaha
Did I ever go to Donkey Ball? I don’t remember Donkey Ball!
Sheila — Um, do we need to do a jazzy intervention?
That SO kills me.
Betsy- Sadly, I have no recollection of Donkey Ball, either. Maybe we were at camp that weekend. Or Happening. Or Maria Campana’s.?????
You know what Beth – I’m thinking hard about it and I believe I do remember that there was Donkey Ball, but I think Meredith only had enough money to lend to Sheila…
I missed Donkey Ball just like I missed that cover band who gave a “teaser” concert at a pep rally and made Heidi T stand up before singing “You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog” – That was a rough night when I couldn’t attend the full show…
Oh my God – I so remember that show, Betsy – what was the name of that band?? I have it in my diary, I’ll have to look it up. I forgot about the “hound dog” moment though.
OMG DONKEY BALL!!!
I had forgotten all about that unusual sporting event!
girls – I even remember why I couldn’t see the band. My brothers and I had made plans to see the movie ‘Tex’ (Matt Dillon – 1982) with Mary Walsh, and my parents wouldn’t let me out of it! I can’t wait for you to find the name Sheila!
It’s all coming back to me…Donkey Ball…the band…Hound Dog… what was their name? I bet Leo would remember… but he is not home. Help us Sheila-wanKenobi. You’r our only hope. Help us Sheila -wankenobi. You’r our only hope. (I have cinnamon buns taped to my ears.)
I know I wrote about the band – hang on – let me try to find it.
Ok- Leo is home, but can’t recall the name of the band. I started to explain, “…around the time of DonkeyBall…cover band at an assembly…” and he immediately shouted “And they made Heidi sing Hound Dog!! The poor kid…What the f**** was their name? They were like Loverboy…” Five bucks says he is looking through his yearbook right now.
i am so close to remembering the name of that band. SO CLOSE!
Freedom Jam?
Oh my God. Betsy. I think that’s it.
I can’t believe how much energy I expended trying to remember that tidbit of information…I’m a little embarrassed.
Is “We Will Rock You” the song you hummed to DW?
I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for letting me comment!