Entertainment Weekly lists the 25 worst sequels.
… Sequels, as a general rule, blow. But some are so ill-conceived, so cynically calculated, and so aggressively inept that they need to be called out and held accountable in the public square.
Hahahaha
Their criteria?
First, we looked at how steep a sequel’s drop-off in quality was from the original. Then we weighed how utterly unnecessary the sequel was. You’re probably thinking, ”Yeah, but some sequels are so bad they’re good!” Those aren’t on this list. These movies are so absolutely bad their badness can be measured only in Kelvin degrees. Finally, we factored in a certain intangible stankitude a sort of je ne sais crap that makes a film so god-awful you wish there were a cinematic Hague where it could be tried.
Je ne sais crap. Very nice.
Make sure you read the little snippets for each movie. They’re funny, and spot ON.
via Chai-rista.
[denial] There was this movie called The Godfather III or something on that list. I’ve never heard of it. When did I miss that one? [/ denial]
Jar Jar Binks who?
I’ve never heard of him.
Oh my Gawd, that was funny!
That was up there with the worst Black Metal pics, and its sequel list.
Sadly, I liked the Matrix trilogy, and didn’t feel that Reloaded sucked. Just my opinion.
I liked the Fly part 2, as well. More gross than anything else, but I’d come to expect that.
The image of the #1 worst sequel nearly killed me. Oh. My. Gawuhd. The look on his face alone nearly killed me.
wutzizname – hahahahahahaha I know!!!!
Like: WHAT?? Saturday Night Fever was a great American film and … then … WTF???? hahahahahahaha
Yeah, quite a drop-off there. My GF has this issue, I’d been meaning to read this article.
And notice the URL for the article? “www.EW.com.” Ew. Heheheheheh.
Shameful confession:
I have Conan the Destroyer, The Sting II, Caddyshack II and Staying Alive all on VHS. Ironically, the last two are on the same video tape. In my defense, I ripped-off, er, recorded every tape I rented for a short period in my life.
Thank God I recorded these in SLP mode so that they are now unwatchable.
Speaking of Staying Alive, we know what Travolta and Finola Hughes are doing, what ever happened to Cynthia Rhodes, after Dirty Dancing. I don’t think I ever saw her in another movie. (Note that she actually did her own dancing in Flashdance unlike Ms. Beals)
//Ironically, the last two are on the same video tape//
hahahahahaha
Awesome!!
Also awesome is your casual reference of the talent GIANT that is Cynthia Rhodes. I loved her in Dirty Dancing – sweet character – where the hell did she go???
I Googled her. Apparently she got married and retired.
I don’t disagree with their #1 choice, but if Stallone ever gets his way and produces Rocky VI: Rocky vs. the SSA, we may have to crown a new winner.
I think Rocky gets special mention because (a) the original struck such an emotional cord with so many people, and (b) Rocky II was actually pretty good, setting high hopes for the disappointing, but not altogether terrible Rocky III (even if it did contradict the entire premise of the first two movies. Rocky’s a thug, not a boxer. He couldn’t match Creed’s skills, but he had the heart to survive the first match, and let Creed beat himself in the second).
Which brought us to Rocky IV and V. Sweet Jeebus. It is matched only by George Lucas in its ability to piss on cherished childhood memories.
Good call, I. George.. Rocky sequels should definitely have been on the list.. which I’m joining the denial of having seen the vast majority of.. [at least I don’t have them on tape though *ahem*]
Inspired for them to pick Reloaded, after that my expectations for the final instalment of Matrix were about as low as they could be.. so I wasn’t too disappointed.
I’d also suggest An American Werewolf in Paris as an honourable mention.. the original found just a genius combination of humour, shock and gore.. the sequel didn’t know what it was trying to find.
Rocky III had Clubber Lang, so it’s automatically not a worst sequel. Top five T quotes from the film:
“I can’t be beat, and I won’t be beat!””You ready for another beating? You shoulda nevuh came back!”
“I pity the fool….” (OK, I don’t remember him saying it in Rocky III, but that’s the essence of Clubber, really.)
“Prediction: PAIN.”
And number one –
“Hey, baby. You come on up to my apartment, I’ll show you a real man!”
Think about it, he had to proposition Talia Shire! Fargin’ Adrienne – he had to come on to ADRIENNE. That’s acting.
Over the summer, I was talking to my brothers-in-law about bad movies, and one of them recounted to me an interview he saw eith Michael Caine where the topic of Jaws: The Revenge (#10) and it’s sublime awfulness came out. As he remembered it, this is what Caine had to say:
“Yes, if I remember correctly, it was quite terrible. However, the house that it bought was lovely.”
Or something to that effect.
Also, I have to say the Weekend At Bernies 2 was one of two movies that I have ever stood up and walked out on (I lasted 20 minutes, then snuck into the adjacent theater, where Sleepless in Seattle was playing). The other one was Golden Gate the seriously bad Matt Dillon/Joan Chen vehicle. I think I lasted 15 minutes for that one.
The big problem I have with the list is this:
Where is Jurassic Park: The Lost World? That ‘s one I should have walked out on. Jeff Goldblum has a random black daughter who uses gymnastics (Uneven parallel bars, to be exact) as a martial art to defeat several velociraptors in the climax?
Check, please.
What else is not on the list: Superman 4: The Quest for Peace. “Holy it can’t even be used as fertilizer, Batman. This one stunk more than our sequel.”
Nightfly – I didn’t mean to imply Rocky III belonged on the list. It doesn’t, for precisely the reasons you said. Taken on its own, it could be carried by the awesomeness of Mr. T; my point is that the movie is premised on Rocky mysteriously learning how to fight sometime after his rematch with Creed and turned into a real boxer. It just doesn’t make sense, and, sadly, no amount of Mr. T. can compensate for that.
Part IV and V, however, were just beyond awful.
I think Rocky V should be the only “Rocky” on the list. After all:
Rocky II was so-so, but not bad
Rocky III gave us Mr. T and “Eye of the Tiger”
Rocky IV gave us Dolph Lundgren as Ivan “I must break you” Drago (“Go for it” says Rocky); granted it gets minus points for introducing Brigitte Nielsen to an unsuspecting public.
Rocky V was just awful, like Rambo III awful
I saw Rocky IV 4 times. I say that without apology. I remember one evening when my friend Betsy and I drove to Seekonk or something JUST SO WE COULD SEE IT AGAIN. Weird. I have no idea why this film gripped us so much!! So dumb!
Oh – and Jaws: The Revenge is truly a TERRIBLE movie. That’s the one where, I belive, the shark literally sneaks through a sunken boat. The shark SNEAKS. Like it’s actually HIDING. I don’t know. It was reeeeeeeeallly dumb.
I’m also going to defend Rocky IV, if only for the car-porn music video segment where Rocky drives his Lamborghini Jalpa like a man possessed as that towering classic, “No Easy Way Out” by Robert Tepper, blares over it all.
Any movie in which communism gets the crap beat out it by a huge hunk of Americana is worth seeing. A lot.
Also: Paulie’s robot in Rocky IV? Lame.
That said, I saw it at least twice in the theater. You can’t say it’s bad because the fights were cool and Apollo dies, for Christ’s sake. That’s a huge event in the Rocky Universe.
And finally, I wore out the soundtrack tape playing that Survivor song, “Burning Heart.” I was in 8th grade.
Staying on Rocky, as I transfer my stream of consciousness directly to this comment thread, I turned off V the minute they towed away Rocky’s Ferrari.
By then, I was so past the old-school Philly Rocky persona. I didn’t want to see it. I remember thinking, “Jesus, they’re towing his Testarossa? This is unwatchable.”
Cullen – the reason I loved it when it first came out had nothing to do with the downfall of communism. At least I don’t THINK it did. I honestly can’t remember why I loved it so much!!
I think it might have had something to do with Dolph Lundgren … and also the whole “eye of the tiger” getting ready for the big fight montage – which always gave me goosebumps. To be honest, I can’t remember.
I prefer Rocky NOT to be all message-y and political – My affection for that first film is so strong. And if I remember correctly, all of the Russians started chanting USA at the end of Rocky IV which … I mean, please. Okay. WE GOT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. Now please put away that huge bludgeoning hammer. Thanks!
Anyone see Rocky IV lately? I really should see it again – I have a feeling it will not hold up at all, while Rocky I is a terrific film all on its own …
But man. Betsy can attest to our late-night drive 40 minutes out of town in order to see Rocky IV. on a school night, no less.
Oh my God – Paulie’s robot!!! hahahahahahahahaha I had totally forgotten about that!
Yes!! So lame!
And I never saw Rocky V … I think I burned myself out on Rocky IV. hahaha
Alex –
//as I transfer my stream of consciousness directly to this comment thread//
hahahahahaha
And Cullen – amen with the Superman 4 thing. I mean … you can just tell everyone was getting TIRED of that thing AS they were making it! Not a good sign.
I totally remember now the whole driving-car-fast montage-scene from Rocky IV – I’m tellin’ ya, there was something hypnotic about that whole movie.
how about dolph lundgren with his black mouthguard in, looking like Satan himself??
And Talia Shire in her little parka, standing in snowy Siberia … hahahahaahaha
Isn’t Cynthia Rhodes married to Richard Marx? I think she is.
Lisa – yes!!
Oh, and Rocky III is the my favorite of the all Rocky movies. It’s the only one where Talia Shire almost looks pretty, and Mr. T is the Best. Opponent. Ever. Love it, love it, love it.
Speaking of stream of consciousness.. [yes, it’s a tangential link, sheila]
Best in Show is on in the background in the yurt.. and there’s already been a competitor explaining that the winner of a best in breed category has been feeling a little jet-lagged… and Hot Hot Hot, the favourite in the pastoral breed category [who knew?], failed to win a ribbon..
hahahahaha
The name of the dog is Hot Hot Hot? Wow, really rolls trippingly off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Probably the shortened version of the full name, Sheila – Hot Hot Hot Ice Cold Sebastian Thurtlewurst Pan-galactic Gargleblaster Champion the Third.. or similar.
I can’t help but think of Fred Willard as the buffoon announcer in the movie:
“I’ve taken SPONGE BATHS in tubs smaller than that!”
So so inappropriate and funny.
He has competition from the real announcers on this show, Sheila.. I was watching it and couldn’t shake the feeling I was seeing an alternative version of Best In Show.. and, although I didn’t make it entirely clear, Hot Hot Hot actually is the name of that particular dog.
“And to think, in some countries, these animals are eaten.”
hahahaha
And the LOOK on his co-“anchor”s face – too too funny
it appears i am the only person in the world who didn’t hate the matrix sequels.
Stand strong, Beth!!
I actually didn’t see the sequels – and I LOVED the first one. I can’t remember why I didn’t ,… I think I waited a bit too long, and by then I had heard bad reviews, so I decided to leave the first one alone, and not see the following ones.
I thought the second one was terrible and heard the third was even worse, so skipped it. I don’t think they’re worth it, Sheila.
No hard feelings, Beth.
I also didn’t see any of the Batman sequels … not even the latest one. I think I was too distracted by the TomKat nuttiness to go see that film. What? Did I just say that? Yes, I did. I just could not drag my eyes away from the INSANITY happening in the TomKat world to go see the damn movie she was in.
Heard it was good though. Love Christian Bale. Too bad his performance got completely side-swiped by those two morons.
HA! Paulie’s Robot. I had totally blotted that from my memory. Now it’s back, and thousands in therapy have been wasted.
Ditto on Supe IV. Fifteen seconds into it, when the kids are all listening to the Warm Nurturing Teacher talk about how THEY can fight nuclear proliferation, I knew we had a turd, and I wasn’t any older than those kids. I turned to my dad and said, “If she says “Write your Congressman” I’m playing Atari.” And she did! And so did I.
Matrix sequels – hm. Those are classified F³, for “Fast-Forward Flicks.” Skip the boring recycled hippie dancing crap, show me Neo fighting 400 Agent Smiths and the whole freeway setpiece. Done!
They struck me as totally unnecessary to begin with, since the first Matrix is a self-contained story, and you don’t need to see any more. Best if the rest is left to your own imagination, you know? And I think the Wachowskis are full of recycled hippie dancing themselves when they say they always intended a trilogy. I’m convinced that they were blown away with the response to the first one and felt pressed to go further. That’s why I eagerly anticipate the failure of “V for Vendetta” – I don’t want to deal with “W for Wrath,” “X for X-Treme,” or “Y for Yippi-yi-ki-yay Mofo.”
That first film DID feel self-contained!! I think maybe you’re right – that they had no idea it would be such a phenom – and decided to jump on it with the overwhelming success of the film.
I mean – that opening sequence just cannot be beat. But there are so many classic sequences in The Matrix.
Sheila,
Batman Begins is a really, really great movie. Definitely see it. If I tell you that Katie Holmes kind of sucked in it (she wasn’t terrible, but she looks like she’d still be at home at Dawson’s Creek and just doesn’t have the whole “sexy district attorney” thing going on), would you want to then? Yeah, I know you would.
And I still want to kick TomKat’s ass for what they pulled at the BB premiere.
Emily – yeah, I have really got to see it now that the smoke has cleared. I heard it was great – and I love Bale.
I should have gone to see it just to show my support that – duh – it was actually HIS moment – nobody else’s.
Makes me mad to think about, too.
The first Matrix totally stands alone. Self-contained and open-ended. The possiblities are left to the imagination of the viewer.
Unfortunately the sequels narrowed those possibilities and, in the process, killed the imaginative potential. They deserved to fail.
In other news, I’m thinking of changing my name to Hot Hot Hot!
It’s kinda like (for me anyway) the whole “explanation” of the Force. I found it reprehensible.
oh – so it’s not some mysterious forcefield of power that you can tap into? Some people have more Force-DNA in their blood than others??? What? George, that is such a betrayal!
It’s amazing that I was able to forgive that genetic explanation of THE FECKIN’ FORCE and actually stick with the series, and see the last one.
Like: don’t EXPLAIN “the Force”. let it be a mystery. Don’t limit it!!!
*nods furiously in agreement*
The initial films are exercises in creativity.. the subsequent films are merely processes.
Please remember that at one point in the history of this blog I was #1 on Google for “George Lucas Must Be Stopped”
hahahaha
That was when the whole Gredo-Han shooting thing came out and I kinda lost it.
Or maybe I was #1 for “George Lucas is an asshole”. Something like that. hahahaha
But the whole genetic-Force thing – I remember watching the film and literally blocking it out AS it was happening. Like: No. No. He is not doing this. This is not happening.
The Force HAD to be explained, Sheila, for the education of all of us… Haven’t you noticed the parallels between midi-chlorians and Thetans? It’s just this civilization learned to control the Thetans to serve them.
L. Ron was right!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hmm, L. Ron… Elron…
Just asked my wife, “Wouldn’t Elron be a cool name for a boy?”.
Wife’s response (while rolling her eyes), “Good thing I got you ‘fixed'”
JFH,
With all due respect, if you ever type the words “L.Ron was right” ANYWHERE ever again, I’m going to rip off your head, remove your brains, replace them with a pile of vomit, and sew you back together with dental floss.
Used dental floss.
Thankfully it’s unlikely that the Wachowskis will re-edit the previous versions.. allow the temptation must be there..
Nero being told he IS the one!??.. anyone?.. hey, where’s everybody gone?
You know, friendly like and everything. But still. I’m just sayin’.
Ah yes, Pete. Let us contemplate the array of re-edits available to the Washitski Brothers.
– suffering from an attack of earnest social conscience, they edit out all the bullets and have them digitally replaced with valentines candies that say “I don’t want 2 hurt U.”
– due to the worrying upswing in numbers of cases obesity, the Oracle does not bake cookies, but instead offers Neo steamed broccoli and tips on lower his carb intake.
– of course, it would help to see the softer side of Agent Smith. They could edit in childhood flashbacks where it is revealed, among other things, that he was the only boy on his block that did not have his own pony, thus resulting in a deep psychological feeling of inadequacy that would drive him to spend the rest of his life wearing sunglasses.
Sorry, Emily, kind of upset when I just found out I pegged the e-meter… I either am the next Anakin Skywalker or to far gone for even Scientologists to help me… technically you’re threat might be a blessing
And the multiple replicas of Agent Smith are not actually direct replicas, but are, in fact, replicas of his original programme.. and, as such, were cunningly contriving to undermine the later objective of dominance of the Matrix [ermm.. am I remembering this correctly?]
Emily – I must thank you for picking up the slack in my absence and threatening JFH with bodily harm. Truly. Words do not do my gratitude justice.
You know what, guys – I have heard very disturbing rumors about the new James Bond. Now – I’m a fan of Daniel Craig, and I stood behind him when he got cast – he’s a terrific actor – but I heard something somewhere that the newsest Bond film is going to look at “why Bond treats women the way he does.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i need Bond to be an unrepentant old-school ladies man … DON’T psychoanalyze Bond! Don’t do it!!!
It’s cock-a-mamie, is what it is.
“George Lucas Must Be Stopped…” bwa-HAHAHAHAHAH! You guys are killing me with this stuff. The midi-chlorian thing is very close to Never Happened status. (It escapes because of the preposterous name ‘midi-chlorian,’ which sounds like a computer sound format. It’s too amusing to lose.)
The Coalition had the scoop on Bond the Sixth a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t watched in some time so it doesn’t work me up the way that the Star Wars stuff did, because that’s my childhood, dammit. Han Shot First!
Well, I don’t care if the actor himself doesn’t like guns, or if he drives an automatic and not a stickshift (that was another thing I heard), or if he is not a ladies man in real life. He’s an actor – and a really good one – Uhm – the job is ACTING. he will be ACTING. He will not actually BE a spy. He is an ACTOR. So all of that brou-haha about who he is personally is stupid, in my opinion.
But what I care about is if the film itself takes the position: “Let’s see what makes Bond tick … why can’t he just settle down???”
God, no.
Nightfly – and yeah, I was just BESIDE myself about the re-editing of the Han scene – where Han shoots first. I just find the tinkering with the movies, to make them more palatable to a PC-happy audience disgusting. Like air-brushing out the guns in ET and making them walkie-talkies.
To me, it’s like ripping out pages from a book and burning them because SOMEONE might be offended.
If I recall correctly, Bond did settle down, once, until she got killed by Kojak.
Besides the revisionism, the other thing about Greedo shooting first that really bugged me is, well, how the F* did he miss? How the heck did Greedo become a bounty hunter if he can’t hit a friggin stationary target from two feet away? Was there some sort of Imperial Disabilities Act which forced the bounty hunter’s guild to accept aliens with no depth perception?
I cannot believe they had no place for that dreadful Exorcist II in their top 25. It fits all of their criteria. One of the great movies of all time followed by a bomb. That Richard Burton and Max von Sydow couldn’t save it is testament to its suckiness.
hahahahahaha
George, now come on … we all know that “aliens with no depth perception” is one of the most pressing issues of our time.
Oh, and just to be clear (because – you know – this is a VERY important subject) I didn’t blow a gasket either over the james Bond thing – mainly because, like Nightfly said, it wasn’t all interwoven into my childhood – like Star Wars was. Okay, George: you made some crappy sequels. Fine. I went and saw them. Why? Cause I’m an addict. You hooked me in in 1977 and I have been unable to break free. Good job. But please. I don’t care if you clean up special effects, or modernize some of the effects – that would be fine. But the whole point of Han Solo (uhm: NOTICE HIS LAST NAME) is that he is a renegade, an individual, on the fringes of the law. To have him shoot first completely sets up the character.
Oh forget it. I’m getting all steamed again.
How the heck did Greedo become a bounty hunter if he can’t hit a friggin stationary target from two feet away? Was there some sort of Imperial Disabilities Act which forced the bounty hunter’s guild to accept aliens with no depth perception?
HAHAHAHAH! That’s right up there with the Papier Mache Stormtrooper Armor.
hahahahahahahaha
Oh man. You know what? I need to do just a big open post where we all just talk about Star Wars. It could be the longest thread ever.
Bond was interwoven in my childhood. And Daniel Craig not liking guns and not being able to drive a stick bugs the crap out of me. Not because he, the actor, doesn’t like guns and can’t drive a stick — hell, I think he’s a great actor and was kind of happy to see him get it since Owen turned it down. I am bugged by it because I know it. Because it destroys part of the mystique surrounding his portrayal. A larger-than-life role like Bond required a degree of mystique.
And, to echo everyone else … Han shot first, dammit!
That’s cool, cullen, mystique would be great – but a lot of the whiny talk I heard (and the talk i was referring to) was like: “How can a guy who doesn’t like guns play James Bond?” Or: “How can a wimp play James Bond?” First of all: that’s an ignorant opinion, in terms of the craft of acting. Marlon Brando was a barefoot pacifist who took dance classes every day. He played Stanley Kowalski. His personality was irrelevant. What’s his talent?? To me, it seemed like: they just didn’t respect his opinoin about guns, and if Daniel Craig had come out and said, “I love guns!” they would have fully embraced him. Which is hypocritical. Just my impression.
Again: nothing to do with you. This was from wherever I read the bitching about the Daniel Craig-ster. Can’t remember.
Back to the real point:
I remember when Michele was still blogging she hosted a poem-contest, so that people could express their anger at George Lucas in safe ways. The poems that came out of people – about Han shooting first, etc etc – were so funny that I literally could not read them at work. I was making a scene, snorting with laughter at my desk … I know she doesn’t blog anymore, but I think I might have linked to that post somewhere on my blog. It was so so funny. I mean, literally – HUNDREDS of people responded wiht poems – limericks and sonnets and sea chants – all about Han and Greedo. It was sheer pure COMEDY.
Found it!!
Here’s one:
There once was a bastard named Lucas
Whose head was rammed firm up his tuckus.
But what’s really worse –
That Greedo shoots first,
Or that George doesn’t CARE if it suckus?
Okay, I am re-reading all of the poems and laughing out loud YET AGAIN.
hahahahahaha
Here’s another one – my friend Tom did this one:
Luke trusted his feelings and not the computer
and that’s the thing that made him a straight shooter
But somewhere between the old and the new
George Lucas turned the technological screw
One giant step on the road to has-been
was not giving these scripts over to Lawrence Kasdan.
And now we Star Wars fans are stuck like the rest
watching our beloved franchise become a CGI suckfest.
George, if you’re listening (I doubt you are anyway),
you’re screwing the pooch in a galaxy far, far away
You are not to be trusted with your own creation,
so give the stories to ME to bring to the nation!
a few things [and holy cow did the comments take a while to get through]:
Godfather III is a complete different universe than the first two; i was much happier when i was ignorant of its existence, and thriving in the first two for years. i miss those years.
not sure i’m going to like daniel craig as bond. just a feeling. i’m not too surprised about the whole psychoanalyzing himself deal he’s setting up for Bond, seeing as, as was pointed out, Bond did get married once — Bond portrayed by George Lazenby. most people don’t like George Lazenby as Bond — apparently, Craig loved him in the role..
finally, Sheila, see Batman Begins. as was mentioned, i know katie holmes doesn’t have the whole sexy attorney thing down [and this is the first thing i’ve seen her in], but Christian Bale. ah. i know i haven’t seen all the different batman films, so i can’t really make a good statement about it, but this one, i saw all the way through, at least three times by now. i enjoyed it a lot more than snippets of some of the others.
oo, and are you really considering starting an independent Star Wars thread? cuz whilst i may be behind the rest of you in years and thus in cultural exposure [i’m 19], i’m very much a fan[atic]…
amelie – hahahaha I know JUST what you mean about being happier when you were unaware of the existence of Godfather III – hahahaha so true!
And yeah – I really do think we need to do a Star Wars only thread. Obviously we’ve got a lot of fan[atics] here, myself included!!
Time will tell with the Craig-ster. I think Owen could have been great as well but I think at least in this case a lot of it (the thing being successful, I mean) doesn’t depend on the actor – it depends on the director, the script, the movie itself – you know? The franchise is bigger than one measly actor – so where will the franchise go now?
amelie,
We have kind of the same name. Will you be my kind of new best internet friend?
sheila, good point about the franchise. i just hope they don’t twist it all up into something it never was, and never should be, you know? i think it was easier to accept when we saw the same familiar face in the role. the way everyone is reacting has probably happened all five times, you know?
and emily, i’d kind of be delighted ; )
My two cents on sequels: I pretty mouch love this list, but I’m perplexed as to how one could leave out Ghostbusters 2. That movie was absolutely godawful.
And as for Batman Begins, please do try to see it. [fanboy] It really is NOT a sequel, but a restart for the franchise. As much as I like Tim Burton, the previous series was almost too cinematic, too much about the directors’ own visions and thus just not enough of a piece with the rest of the Batman mythos. I agree with Ebert when he said it was the Batman movie and, indeed, the comic book movie, that people had always hoped for. [/fanboy]
The nice thing about the Bond series is that there have been so many Bond movies, if the new one’s bad they’ll always do another (hopefully better) one.
I figure if the Bond series survived Moonraker it can survive anything.
I only say this because it’s probably the least discussed change in the Star Wars trilogy, but Star Wars started off with this farm kid on a dustball planet nobody had heard who ends up learning the Force and ends up saving the galaxy. By the second trilogy he’s the son of the Chosen One who had a virgin birth and came to “bring balance” to the Force according to “the prophecy”. And Tatooine’s practically the freaking center of the Universe.
In Star Wars, Luke’s father was one of many Jedi. Hey, no big deal. He still needs to learn to reach out with his feelings. It’s not like learning to use the Force is genetic (*grumblegrumble*stupidmitichlorians*grumble*). When we get to Empire, Vader is his father. Ok, fine. It’s gripping, it’s dramatic. But when it becomes the story of some “Chosen One”… blech.
Thanking Hollywood
Red’s got a pretty good thread going on movie sequels that suck. But then, most sequels do suck. They’re usually an insult to whatever it was that made you love the …
Ghostbusters 2 was awesome, Dave J. Don’t eff with my childhood.
Dorkafork brought up “prophecy” which made me think of two (completely unrelated to the context) other sequels that could be on the list: Prophecy II and III, though they may fall into the so bad they’re good category.
Davej – wow. Up until this moment I had been able to completely block out Ghostbusters 2 from my memory!! Thanks for bringing it all back – good times, good times!
And I promise to see Batman Begins – i’m really excited!
dorkafork –
Yeah. There’s something creepy about it. I SO do not like it. I do. not. like. it!!!!
Ok, I have a new project for the weekend. Forget cleaning the apartment, doing my laundry, or fixing the girlfriend’s bookshelves.
I shall write/compose/plagiarize a Star Wars Sonnet.
George – I will NEED to read it, you understand.
Red – assuming I actually succeed (sonnets are friggin’ hard!), I’ll post it in your comments.
Hey, does anybody else remember an SNL sketch where James Bond finds out he has 37 different STDs, and has to call all his former partners?
Hello, Batman… Oh, no, actually, stay on the line, Robin, this involves you, too…
How’s that for convergence of comments?
First of all….F_CK Tim Burton!!! he’s done some interesting animations in a very anti-smurfy manner, and did have SOME ideas for maybe one Batman flick (That Nicholson carried most of the way) but…Batman Begins, I hate to say was in my opinion, where a lot of English folks said ‘Let’s do a Proper Batman film, and forget what’s been done.’
I mean, honestly…how can Tim Burton look at his reflection knowing he signed off on street thugs wearing fluorescent pink and green, and running around in blacklights?
I’m not EVEN bringing up Arnold, or Tommy Lee Jones. Billy Dee Williams was being set up to be Two-Face, and whatever happened, he was written out of the sequels. I think it was from a domestic abuse thing, or something. That’s straying from the point.
Batman Forever sucked. I Love Val Kilmer’s acting ability, but…it Siddly-ucked. As did George and Chris’ Excellent Adventure, known as Batman and Robin.
I can’t wait to see a sequel to Batman Begins.
On the other hand, there have occasionally been truly great sequels. One of the most overlooked movies I ever saw was “Futureworld”, the sequel to “Westworld”. One might reasonably expect it to suck massively, but in fact it was better than, and raised the worthiness, of the original. The suspense was psychological rather than physical, the weakness in the original story got fleshed out, and I quote the last, um, line on a regular basis.