The creator of Loadstone O’Toole

It’s Max Shulman’s birthday. Who the hell is Max Shulman, you may ask? Or some of you may ask? Hahaha He was one of the most popular humorists of his day – who reached his peak of popularity in the 1950s. He’s the dude who created the Dobie Gillis character, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. He was VERY successful – and is now kind of a forgotten artist. Strange. He also was a screenwriter.

Now I somehow tripped over his book I Was A teen-age Dwarf when I was a teenager myself. This is the chronicle of Dobie Gillis’ crazy “woman”izing when he was in high school (the shortest boy in town. Hence – the title.)

It was in the library where I worked as a page (my first job). I have no idea why I would have picked it up – it’s kind of an old-fashioned looking book – It LOOKS older than the more recent titles -but also, let’s remember – this was at the height of the whole Happy Days craze – so maybe something in the 1950s-ish cover appealed to me.

Also, I DO know that my parents both LOVED Max Shulman. So when I brought the book home they recognized his name immediately, and told me: “You HAVE to read Rally Round the Flag Boys!”

I remember vividly my mother TRYING to tell me what the name of one of the lead characters in Rally round the flag was – and completely not being able to get the name out because she started guffawing with laughter. The character’s name was: Loadstone O’Toole. Even now – just typing that – I started laughing.

Max Shulman is one of the funniest writers I have ever read in my life. In fact, I was asked to leave my high school library because it was study period, and I was reading that book, and I started laughing so loudly that I could not control myself. Basically, I was GUFFAWING into the studious silence. Tears literally streamed down my face, despite the fact that I was being “Sh”ed left and right. I finally had to just gather up my book bag and stagger out into the hall, where I stood, and literally HOWLED with laughter, by myself, for a good 5 minutes.

I can count the writers on one hand who are that funny.

Over the last couple years, it became my mission in life to find all of his old books again – so I could own them. Many of them are long out of print, and really hard to find. So strange. It’s not that long ago – the 1950s and 60s – but his reputation has not survived. It’s a shame. I have rarely come across such fanTAStically funny books. Member the famous Christmas pageant scene in Owen Meany? Max Shulman’s books are that funny all the way through. The Strand sometimes had copies of his books – I always checked whenever I was there. I got some of his lesser known titles – but the holy grail eluded me. (I Was a Teenage Dwarf) I was dying to know if the book would be as funny to me as an adult as it was when I was a kid. I let my dad know, librarian that he is, what I was looking for – so he could keep his eyes open if he came across copies.

Eventually – a box arrived on my doorstep. I opened it. And took out two books: Rally Round the Flag, Boys starring the marvelously named Loadstone O’Toole (LOADSTONE O’TOOLE????) – and oh. my. God: I Was a Teenage Dwarf. Yay!!!!

I immediately took Teenage Dwarf up to my roof, with a thermos of coffee, and sat there in the autumn sun – tearing through my old childhood favorite. I finished it in a couple of hours.

And for the record? It was even funnier than I remembered. It’s MEANER than I remembered. It’s more biting, bitchy, merciless … But I sat up there on my roof, the memories were just flooding back (Dobie Gillis at one point has a girlfriend who is a tomboy – and she is constantly playing stickball and climbing trees – and always falling down – so she always has cuts on her knees – her nickname is Red Knees. I was like: “Oh my God! I remember Red Knees!!”) – but the sheer ridiculousness of it all was JUST as delightful, JUST as absurd. Like … Dobie Gillis has a girlfriend whose accepted nickname is RED KNEES. Like, he’s having a romantic makeout session with her, and he calls her “Red Knees” as he leans in to kiss her. “Oh, Red Knees …” I mean – I just snort with laughter reading this stuff.

Writers who make me cry are great. I love them. But writers who make me laugh have my heart forever.

Max Shulman: a witty madcap man with a ridiculous and yet somehow very HUMAN sense of humor … hugely successful in his day … now mostly forgotten. If you ever come across his books in a used bookstore, I highly recommend you give them a read. They are laugh-out-loud funny.

Happy birthday, Mr. Shulman!!