Two snippets I liked – but the whole thing is hysterical:
Far more times that I would care to mention, the name “Indiana Jones” (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia.
And this part made me laugh out loud:
Though the committee may have overstepped the boundaries of its evaluation, I find it pertinent to note that Dr. Jones has been romantically linked to countless women of questionable character, an attribute very unbecoming of a Marshall College professor. One of these women was identified as a notorious nightclub singer whose heart he attempted to extract with his hands, and whom he then tried, and failed, to lower into a lake of magma.
Uhm, yeah. Trying (and failing) to lower someone into a lake of magma while on a business trip is pretty much tenure-denial behavior.
That frickin’ rocks.
that made my day — thanks, sheila!
That’s SO awesome. :-)
In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department.
“Snakes. Why did it HAVE to be snakes?!”
Wait a minute – what’s up with this Marshall College crap?!!! Everybody knows he’s from the University of Chicago!
Come one, we haven’t had football since the 30s. You can’t take Indy away from us, dammit!
George, Indy studied at Chicago (under Abner Ravenwood), but I think you’d agree it’s pretty clear from the movies that that’s not where he teaches.
Hahaha, that’s great!
many of you know I am a college professor. (and yes, I have tenure, thankyouverymuch.)
I am SO printing that out and putting it on my office door. That’s just hilarious.
My Bride is as well, ricki, and i forwarded this to her and she got a much needed hoot out of it.