“Ralph Macchio was my main squeeze for a long time”

I am in love with this post by Mejack. Read the whole thing, please. It’s glorious.

On multiple levels.

First of all: the content. Ralph Macchio. I mean, what is not to love. He is also in the Rocky Balboa continuum so it’s not TOO much of a segue for me.

I love her wording here too:

They were giggling about the IRONY of owning these movies. I wanted to wax on-wax off their asses. I am SO SICK of the IRONY. I am tired of the ironic Rainbow Brite shiny jackets and the ironic leg warmers. I am tired of the ironic PBR’s in the dive bar that, ironically, has a jukebox that only plays 80’s songs. Seriously. Is it really necessary that one has to be slightly self deprecating and clever with semi-obscure retro references at all times? Stop it. Enough Already. Everyone likes kitchy/campy things from past decades (like me with my Leif Garrett fascination) but most people, except the Hoopleheads, don’t need to endlessly squawk on about the CLEVER IRONY of it all and make poor fashion choices to further demonstrate their cleverness.

I wanted to wax on-wax off their asses.

I’m with you, girl. Enough.

And may I say this: I love how, in your youth, you seemed to be consistently telling people you were closer to certain celebrities than you actually were. I love that.

“Yeah, Wolfman Jack’s my uncle. Whatever. No big deal.”

“Yeah, I was born in the same hospital as Ponyboy. Yeah, whatever, no big deal.”

It’s this yearning for closeness, closeness to the BURNING GLOW of their stardom.

I remember telling you at our American Idol night about how “Ralph Macchio saved my life” … and I felt little to no judgment from you (which I truly appreciated) … and here’s that post I told you about. It’s long. It’s about your dear childhood “friend”, Ralph Macchio.