This weekend alone I had in-depth touching conversations with 3 cab drivers (engaging cabbies is one of my favorite things to do – and it nearly always yields something interesting – and sometimes, even, a big Armenian bear-hug under waving palm trees)
So. This weekend:
One cabbie was from Egypt (Alexandria, to be exact) – and he was awesome. Very handsome too. He loves Alexandria and still has an apartment there – that looks right out on the beach. I asked him if he would rent it to me for a month. He gave me his card. We sat in the car with the motor running talking about the culture along the Nile and the different dialects of his country for about 5 minutes. He is my new best friend.
One was from Jersey City and he treated me to a fascinating monologue about local politics, and the graft, and the mayors, and the old-school locals, and the zoning laws being ignored, and who paid off whom … and his monologue was not bitter. Or off-puttingly angry. It was humorous, detailed, and also pragmatic. I told him he should write a book.
One was from Pakistan. He moved here 10 years ago and lives in Queens. He goes back to Pakistan to see his aged father about once a year, whenever he can. He misses Pakistan, but he loves America. He especially loves the beer. (I did not grill him for information. All I said was, “Do you like it here?” And out flowed his entire life story.) He is addicted to karaoke and we compared song lists. I asked, “Have you ever sung ‘Enter Sandman’? It seriously kicks ass as a karaoke song.” He said, “I will try it this Thursday!” We then began to sing together: “EN-TER NIIIIGHT TAKE MY-Y HAAAND OFFTONEVAHNEVAHLAND …” We were still singing when he pulled up to my destination.
I wonder if it’s something about my face … this kind of exchange happens to me all the time.
I just had this perfect image of a taxi pulling over, with a curbside witness hearing a Pakistani man and a red-head of Irish extraction singing “Enter Sandman” at the top of their lungs and trying to figure out how in the hell THAT moment came to be.
hahaha I know. Like: “so you two obviously know each other, right?”
“Oh no, we just met.”
Huh??
You know, I have a buddy that this happens to all the time. From being around him, I would have to say that the thing about him that encouages people to talk to him so freely is simply this: genuine interest. When you talk, you can tell he REALLY DOES want to know. He finds people fascinating and he pays attention. And a year from now he will surprise you by remembering the story you told him about your crazy uncle or the vacation you took in Colorado or whatever. Because he listens.
It may be your face, but it may also be that people can tell you are actually interested. It’s a lovely and rare quality.
Much of it has to do with the fact that you travel by cab. I haven’t had a single conversation with a cabbie, even to the extent of stating a destination, since I left Chicago a decade ago.
That is my wife – people tell her things. Sitting in the bar minding my own business and people just start talking to her, its truly amazing the amount of info you get from people. No one ever talks to me, which is just as well as I really don’t like other people all that much.
triticale – I know plenty of people who ride in cabs on a daily basis and don’t have the experience I have. I know it’s because I engage them – but what amazes me is how quickly they just divulge everything. And it’s true that I am genuinely interested. Especially if he is Middle Eastern or African – those guys are the ones I’ve had the best conversations with.