… old friends from college upload photos from way back then showing you, as a youngun, imbibing far too much underage liquor and wearing inappropriate huge watches in a dank basement.
Despite the OBVIOUS intoxication, and the DESPICABLE hand gestures, I remember that party well. That’s me, Mitchell and Mitchell’s brother Steven. It was New Year’s Eve, we were at my friend Julie’s boyfriend’s house, and he was playing with his band in the basement all night, and we all hung out down there. And our friend Emily (yes, the “Santa is a racist mothahfuckah” Emily) was cornered in the kitchen by a frightening man who was a BLATANT racist and refused to shake hands with her. It was so obvious and so bizarre. Of course, we were all wasted, but I know a douchebag when I see one!
Speaking of Emily: Mitchell pointed out to me that you can see her hair coming into the photo on the right-hand side. There she is!
Take off the watch.
Also, you are a Virgin of the Highest Order. Why are you posing like Jenna Jameson?