One Of The Most Frightening Things About Facebook Is:

… old friends from college upload photos from way back then showing you, as a youngun, imbibing far too much underage liquor and wearing inappropriate huge watches in a dank basement.

Despite the OBVIOUS intoxication, and the DESPICABLE hand gestures, I remember that party well. That’s me, Mitchell and Mitchell’s brother Steven. It was New Year’s Eve, we were at my friend Julie’s boyfriend’s house, and he was playing with his band in the basement all night, and we all hung out down there. And our friend Emily (yes, the “Santa is a racist mothahfuckah” Emily) was cornered in the kitchen by a frightening man who was a BLATANT racist and refused to shake hands with her. It was so obvious and so bizarre. Of course, we were all wasted, but I know a douchebag when I see one!

Speaking of Emily: Mitchell pointed out to me that you can see her hair coming into the photo on the right-hand side. There she is!


Take off the watch.

Also, you are a Virgin of the Highest Order. Why are you posing like Jenna Jameson?

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10 Responses to One Of The Most Frightening Things About Facebook Is:

  1. That’s the classic vampire pose where they show their teeth just before they drain you of your blood. That’s great.

  2. red says:

    I like your interpretation (vampire) MUCH better than mine (Jenna Jameson) so I will go with YOURS from now on!

  3. Mark says:

    Or its that iconic shot of Donald Sutherland from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

  4. ricki says:

    I love that you equate the inappropriateness of the huge watch with the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol.

    I was pretty antisocial back in the day, and I also burned a lot of the old photos of me, so I don’t think any of the ones of me wearing that white cotton blazer with the permanently rolled-up sleeves (from the days when Miami Vice was hot and new) will come back to haunt me.

  5. Amanda says:

    Send me a request, I’d love to be your friend.

    (God, that sounds so needy! LOL)

  6. red says:

    ricki – I think I had the same blazer!

  7. Lisa says:

    Well, hellooooo, Mitchell’s brother. . .

  8. mitchell says:

    he looks good in that pic!

  9. tracey says:

    I say, well, helloooooo, Mitchell …..

    Love that picture of him.

    (Do I seem like a stalker when I say that? I’m not a stalker. I swear. And the more I say that, the more stalker-y I sound. Uhmm … I’m panicking now …. exeunt …)

  10. mitchell says:

    haha…i can use all the stalkers i can get!!!

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