I just found out that I move in a week and a half. I got the final confirmation yesterday.
So let’s see. I have to break my lease, find someone to take over my lease, pack up all my stuff (3,000 books and counting), interview movers, schedule the move, all in a week and a half.
Because of what just happened to me (and yes, it happened TO me – it’s been like being hit by a giant wave. No, not a BLACK WAVE, dear worried friends, just a big wave, hard as concrete) – the move is taking on the feeling of a hurried criminal getaway. In the dead of night. Tires screeching on lonely pavement, dust swirling up in the wake.
I’m gone, baby, gone.
I know in my heart because I have been through this before that geography solves nothing. A move does not mean you leave your problems and heartache in the former location. I know. It all will follow me.
But the whirlwind begins today. I limp forward, regardless. The cat’s out of the bag. Nothing will stop the juggernaut.
I have lived in this apartment since 2003. I have experienced two of the biggest changes possible in life in this apartment. One was a gain, one was a loss (and no, I’m not talking about the loss I just experienced, which is of your garden-variety “goddammit, THIS AGAIN??” loss – no less excruciating, but certainly familiar). I will be grateful for these four walls because of the gain I experienced in their midst. It was truly a miracle. I still can’t believe it. That was NEVER going to happen. I lived for 15 years thinking that that was NEVER gonna happen. And in September, 2006, it happened. So now I live in a different world because of it. Not an exaggeration. Where I live obviously did not MAKE it happen … but I will associate this place with that breakthrough. I can’t help it. I am suggestible that way. I wrote my book while living here. That’s amazing. I wrote it under the most challenging circumstances ever imagined. It took me two years. It’s done now, and trying to live out in the world. I still can’t believe it. I have accumulated a lot of stuff. Now I look around at all of it and all I can see is how many boxes I will need. There will be a shedding, I am sure. Things I have that I will be able to let go. Objects I have kept that maybe it’s time to release. Not sure yet what the fallout will be.
I know one thing. The thought of saying goodbye to my view is intensely painful. It’s not just what I see at the end of my street. It’s part of the meditative start of my day. It’s a checkin, a daily checkin, and to say I “love” it is not even right. It’s more than that. It’s a living entity to me. I will ache for it in the months to come.
I have a week and a half to say goodbye, along with all the other crap I have to get done.
You know, I’m practically a minimalist, except for my frigging books. I don’t hold onto many of the bawbles and playpretties in life, but these books seem to accumulate like rabbits….
Oh, and congrats & good luck with the move….
Tommy – I’m exactly the same way. I do not have a lot of stuff – I have a minimal wardrobe, about 8 pairs of shoes, very few gadgets – but then thousands and thousands of books.
Let me know what day you’re moving and I’ll try to clear the decks to come help, maybe move some stuff you don’t want the movers to move, or get coffees, or do the plate dance.
Congratulations on your move, and most of all, on the fact that you are moving, not staying put in spite of all the blows. I admire your spirit, Sheila! “I limp forward, regardless”. Wow!
I will move, too, but it’s certainly NOT happening in one and a half weeks, haha!! I am having my new apartment (which I inherited from my mom) painted, everything fixed… it may take a while, since that apartment had been leased for more than a decade and is in quite bad shape. But it will be my new home and I will have it look fantastic. Right now it is my main project.
Are you moving very far away from NJ?
That’s exciting!
Don’t forget to bring Hope and your Skyward DVD’s!!!
As soon as I can land an IT job in the Dallas area we will be packing the U-Haul for a move too – and we want to get it done before my daughter starts 1st grade in August so I need opportunity to knock QUICKLY!!!
Where are you going? LA?
Oh, by the way – by me saying “That is exciting”, I don’t mean to negate the tough circumstances that might be causing your move. Too me “a move” regardless of the situation meant new opportunites – I hope it will be the same for you!
ALL THE BEST ALWAYS AND FOREVEVER!
Glenn – I totally get it. I’m very excited – I’ve been looking to move since February and this all came about very quickly. I will post pictures once I move in – it’s a really cute place.
Oh boy, a week and a half to move might make me panic. I both loved and hated to move to a new place. Hated the uprooting, loved the new start and all of its possibilities, real or imagined. I’d offer my pickup to help, once upon a time helping people move was almost like breathing, but that thousand miles away thing is a bit of a hitch. Good luck!
I can’t imagine having to get ready to move in a week and a half! Aahhh! I’m so excited for you, though!
That damnable, inescapable Forward Momentum. Curse and bless it.
I’ve been on the quick move – moved from California to Minnesota with 2 weeks notice. Its a whirlwind. (and I’m so not a minimalist.)
Good luck.
Nothing like a huge external symbolic action. It’s like Beckett talking about Joyce (whatever that quote is, Joyce’s writing isn’t about something it is that something itself).
This is one of those things that has its own meaning above and beyond ANY circumstances. So psyched for you … view shmiew too. Wish I could help in the actual move.
Good luck!
What Ken said.
Best wishes and good luck, Sheila… Shoot the curl (so to speak). And let us know when your book is available for us hoi polloi to consume!
That is a whirlwind of a move, Sheila! Best wishes & prayers for a smooth, successful move. (And I hope there is a special new view waiting for you at your new location.)