My cousin Susan posted this amazing photo on Facebook, one I have never seen. It’s been so wonderful to see everyone else’s photos: since my grandmother died on Wednesday, we’ve all been posting photos. It’s been a great way to remember, to commemorate, and also to feel like we are all together.
This is the O’Brien family, my mother’s side of the family, lined up in a row. My grandmother is the second from the left. Lined up: my great-uncle Frank, my grandmother, my great-great grandmother, my great-great-grandfather, my great-aunt May, my great-aunt Joan. I am lucky enough to have vague memories of my great-great grandmother, who lived in Connecticut, spoke with a brogue, and we would go visit her when we were kids. I still make her tomato salad recipe (which we all call “Granny’s Tomatoes”), which I’ve been obsessed with since I first had it at her house, age 4 or whatever. My two great-aunts, Joan and Mary, were huge figures in our lives growing up. My great-aunt Joan is still alive. In her 90s. Still sharp as a tack. One of the most incredible women I’ve ever met. (Both Joan and Mary were nuns. I wrote about my great-aunt Joan here, a little bit. I interviewed her about the impact of Vatican II and what that time was like for a piece I was writing. She’s a pioneer in Catholic feminist theology, as well as a scholar of the classics. She speaks ancient Greek. And of course Latin. She’s written a couple of books, one on Sophocles. She’s a powerhouse.) Of all of those people in the photograph, only my great-aunt Joan is still alive now. I have been thinking about Joan a lot since my grandmother died. Joan would come back East to visit her sister in the Retirement Center run by the Sisters of Charity of Saint Elizabeth. (They do such amazing work.) Joan would play the piano for Mama (they used to play duets together on the piano). My great-aunts and my grandmother were willowy, tall, beautiful women, scholarly and learned. Before Vatican II came along and everyone took off the habits, Joan and Mary were these formidable creatures striding in their full habits across the campus of Albertus Magnus, where they were professors. (All of the Sullivan women, the children of my grandmother, my aunts, my mother, went to Albertus Magnus. So did my grandmother.)
It is amazing to see these people in this photograph. A family. Immigrants. My family.
Great picture – love the profiles!
Old family photos are such a treasure, and sharing them one of the quiet joys of the internet age. I scanned a bunch and put them on flickr, and got total warm fuzzies from people’s happiness at seeing them.
Isn’t the profile format just so cool?
There were so many incredible photographs on the slideshow at the wake – many I had never seen. We all just stood around staring at the screen, talking.
Our families seem very similar! My great grandmother on my maternal side came from Ireland-we called her “Ma”-and I remember going to visit her in her bedroom, and she had the beautiful Irish brogue. I had a great aunt who was a nun, and taught for years, all over the world. How wonderful to have all the scholarly women in your family, obviously the apple didn’t fall far from the tree!
I love these old pictures so much, I wish I had more of my own family!
I definitely grew up with incredible examples of women who lived the life of the mind, and it was just as exciting and thrilling as any other kind of life.
Where was your great-grandmother from in Ireland, Maureen?
What a gorgeous picture, I can’t get over the hairstyles.
I know!! Love the hair! I wish I had known my great-grandfather. These were all very interesting people.
and still are – Great-aunt Joan is still with us!
Sheila
What magnificent strong heads and faces! And your Grandmother was such a beauty. I’m so sorry for your great loss. That image of her at the top of the stairs greeting all the kids with a delighted clap, (that all the kids remember the same) is so wonderful.
And your Great Aunt Joan! I remember reading about her too, and loved reading it again, what an amazing person.
When you write about your family Sheila it’s so clear and true we can really see and feel them.
I hope this is not too personal, but a little while ago you mentioned you cannot really write about your beloved Father yet, one story about your parents meeting that is so sweet and hilarious. But the little things you say here and there about him that is so deep with love, made me feel like you wrote more. A precious book he handed down to you, a picture by Yeat’s grave, made such an impact on me. I can feel you were raised and surrounded by so much love and respect. And somehow you hook this into the universal and we think of our own Fathers. Thank you.
Such a beautiful comment, Regina, and very emotional for me. Thank you.
Sheila, what an awesome, awesome photograph, I love the way they’re lined up in profile. And what a family of amazing women you describe with such love. I love the way you talk about your Mama and great aunts. The wake must have been quite the occasion, so full of loving memories, and sadness too as that generation of the family slowly slips away.
Family photographs are so powerful, so important, aren’t they, and it’s always amazing to come across one you haven’t seen before. And how lucky we are when there’s someone still there to tell the story of the picture, give names to the faces. Tucked into my sister’s hallway mirror is a photo of my father and his cousin playing chess together. They’re young men, boys really, in the late 1950s. Today I looked at that photo of my dad, who died way too young, and was overjoyed to see the strong resemblance to my teenage nephew, standing right next to me. Another niece had to be dragged away from a box of slides of her father as a boy with his family on summer holidays. Seeing that photo of your Mama, her parents and brothers and sisters tells such a powerful story of a family. Thank you for sharing it.
Helena – I love your stories about family photographs. Yes!! I had the same thing looking at photos of my parents and aunts and uncles when they were kids.
The funeral and wake were amazing – and the service was in the church where my parents were married, where we had the funerals for my grandfather and my uncle – the church my grandmother went to for 60 years. so it felt very personal. The priest had known her for 50 years. It was very nice.
In the slideshow at the wake, there was a slightly blurry black-and-white photograph of my grandmother and grandfather – they are outside, and the person taking the photograph was sitting down, so that’s the perspective – there is a ceiling of leaves behind my grandparents. Both of them are laughing out loud. My grandmother was wearing a sleeveless top – the kind that has a button at the back of the neck, and then scoops around the body – leaving the back open – I tried to find a picture but can’t find one. Very daring, and elegant and summery. She had a great figure. She made it – she made halter-tops like that for everyone. She had black hair, white skin, and she was laughing out loud, standing next to her handsome husband, also guffawing about something. It was SUCH a glamorous photo, but they both look so alive – they were both slightly blurry since it was a candid photo.
We all gasped when we saw it.
I was lucky to know both my grandparents when they were still young and mobile, and would come swimming with us, etc., but I didn’t know them THAT young. Took my breath away!!
If you’re interested in checking out the books by my great-aunt Joan – here’s a list of the titles.
http://www.amazon.com/Joan-V.-OBrien/e/B001KIWPAY/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1422820434&sr=1-1
A real idol of mine.
One of my favorite memories of all time is her coming to visit me in Chicago, when I was young and wild and broke, and I took her out to a sports bar for some beers. I mean, what?
She was 75 years old, and totally up for it, sitting on the bar stool, having a couple beers, talking with me about my life. She’s a rock star.
Thanks so much, everyone, for the kind thoughts.
My grandmother lived almost a century. She was lost to Alzheimer’s for over 10 years. I am glad she is at peace. It’s just strange, yes, to see a generation slip away. But I looked around the church – which was practically full – and that was a testament to her! Age range from her peers – 90-year-old people to my sister’s baby, 9 months old. Pretty damn cool.
Ya done good, Geraldine!!
There is a copy of In the beginning … in the Warburg Institute library. I may well pay a visit there :-) (Do you remember, we’ve talked about the Warburg in threads about the Men of Letters library. Sounds like your great aunt was a Woman of Letters. As well as a Rock Star.)
//Age range from her peers – 90-year-old people to my sister’s baby, 9 months old.//
Amazing that in some cultures the ‘family tree’ does not include women. But how else would we be here?
I love that there’s a copy of Joan’s book there! So cool!
I definitely come from a Women of Letters family! Brainiacs, all those O’Briens and Sullivans – – and there’s also the Albertus Magnus connection which … I mean, come on!!
Have you seen Wadjda, Helena? There’s a moment in that movie with a family tree that cut my heart.
Ma was from Northern Ireland, Ballymena in County Antrim. My sister visited Ireland a few years ago, and was able to connect with family members who still live there. I have never been to Ireland, but it is definitely on my list of places to visit!
// My sister visited Ireland a few years ago, and was able to connect with family members who still live there. //
Oh how wonderful!! Yes, you’ll have to go someday!
My last comment was in reply to your question, Sheila!
// She had black hair, white skin, and she was laughing out loud, standing next to her handsome husband, also guffawing about something. It was SUCH a glamorous photo, but they both look so alive – they were both slightly blurry since it was a candid photo. //
Oh, I LOVE these kind of photos. A candid shot that says everything about the relationship of the people. The funeral sounds like it was amazing, a true tribute to a wonderful woman.
Now you have me thinking about photographs, and how important they are. I love technology as much as the next person, but I think there is going to be a real loss when future generations won’t have photo albums to go through when loved ones have passed away. I think about my own family, and when was the last time I printed out a picture of my daughter, who is now 20? Or vacation pictures of the trips my husband and I took last year?
I just resolved to start making up photo albums-I think the last one I did was about 8 years ago. Thank you for this reminder…
Maureen – we were talking about that issue at the wake. Growing up, we only knew the photos in our own photo albums. Now, with Facebook, we see everyone’s photos all at the same time – which is also a beautiful thing. I love seeing the baby photos and the first day of school photos and all that.
But what of those old photo albums?
What of having everything in the same place – and NOT just on Facebook – which could one day go away.
A place to hold these memories.
Having photo albums is a beautiful thing – I haven’t made one in a long long time myself. I worry sometimes about the total digitalization of photos – mainly because what happens if Flickr suddenly goes away? Or whatever photo service people use.
There’s a comfort in having albums with actual photos out in the world … they are there, they will be there forever.
//Have you seen Wadjda, Helena? There’s a moment in that movie with a family tree that cut my heart.//
No but it’s on the must watch list! Thanks for the reminder!
Shelia–I keep coming back to this photograph, it’s so beautiful.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your Mama. It must be a rare, wonderful and powerful thing, though, to be able to share memories and celebrate her life with your loved ones.
Barb – yes, it was! There is a huge sense of loss – but Alzheimer’s is so terrible it was hard to feel sad about her death itself. She was 95 years old. It was okay to let go.
So sorry for your loss, Sheila! But that photo is a lovely memento. And it sounds like your grandmother (from this & your previous post) lived a very full & long life and left behind an incredible family. I’m amazed by what a close knit-clan you are. We should all be so lucky to have such a large & loving family. Sending good thoughts to you during this sad time. Take care!
Thank you so much, Kimberly!!