Snapshots

— I got my haircut yesterday. I love my stylist. She’s awesome. A commercial for the 50 Shades of Gray movie came on the radio and she said, “I can’t wait to see this.” I asked her if she read the book. (I haven’t. But I stick up for it because I am super-annoyed at all the worried think-pieces about what it all MEANS. Newsflash, what it means is that women like sex, too, and like to fantasize about exciting – to them – sex. I know. Groundbreaking. There aren’t 500 worried think-pieces about why every GI put up a picture of Betty Grable while he was at basic training or why the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is so looked forward to. It’s because men enjoy boobs and curves and like to fantasize about sex. I know. Revelatory. For what it’s worth, I know that things like the swimsuit issue have generated some worried think-pieces, although nothing to the level of what 50 Shades has brought about. It’s the volume of commentary that is so illuminating. So. No. I have not read the book, nor will I, but I think it’s great that so many women like it, let your fantasies flow, sisters, and I think people snickering at it and making fun of the women who love it are in the same category as people who were contemptuous of Elvis because his main fan base were screaming girls. You’re just pissed off they’re not screaming about you, you’re just pissed off that women are expressing dissatisfaction with boring lazy sex and maybe want a bit more. SO. I am a 50 Shades apologist, and I haven’t even read the damn thing.) My stylist was listening to the Audiobook during her commutes to the salon.
She said, “I am intrigued by the characters. But I think the author uses the same words too much.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, like the word ‘murmur.’ Everyone ‘murmurs’ when they speak. Every other word is ‘murmur.’ I’m at the point where I want to scream if I ever hear the word ‘murmur’ again.”
(Now THAT is my kind of literary analysis.)
I was guffawing as she went off on ‘murmur’. She was on a roll. She continued:
“The other word she uses too much is ‘intently.’ Everything is done ‘intently.’ I think the word ‘intently’ is on almost every page. And then of course, people ‘murmur intently’ and I’m thinking, Lady, there are so many words in the dictionary, try using some of those.”
My stylist has HAD it.

— More snow coming. Hopefully it won’t impact my flight outta here, but at this point … My brother flew home for my grandmother’s funeral, and was stuck in Boston for two more days. So I am prepared for such an eventuality.

— Speaking of snow, it was freezing the last two days, and my car was basically enclosed in a car-sized icicle. Had errands to do yesterday and so I bundled up, got my shovel, and went on down to hack my car out of the glacier. It was arduous and it sucked, and I found myself saying to myself, “This is arduous and it sucks,” but then suddenly I thought of Touching the Void and literally felt ashamed of my complaining. That guy descended INTO the crevasse of ice in order to maybe possibly who knows come out the other side. I think I can hack away at the ice for half an hour without whinging.

— Will be starting out my stay in L.A. staying with good friends Alex and Chrisanne. I can’t wait. It’s been two (maybe?) years since I’ve seen them, although I feel like I see Alex all the time due to Facebook. But we all know that’s not the same thing.

— Very excited to hang with my brother, my wonderful nephews, Melody, my sister-in-law … I will be quite busy while I am out there but there’s lots of wiggle-room in my schedule.

— Excited, too, to FINALLY meet Kim Morgan. I mean, come on, it’s ridiculous we haven’t met in person yet.

— In general, I like the winter, although the short days wreak havoc on my illness and my sleep-pattern and I have to blast my head with this light-therapy stuff just to combat it. That sounds rather violent. But it really helps with Mood. That being said, I love the cold weather, and snow, and ice, and wearing parkas and sweaters and wool hats. However, the last month or so has been pretty non-stop grey skies, with a lot of storms. It will be wonderful to be in Los Angeles. I love the light there. I love the feel of the air. It will be a good break.

— Along with the sudden coming-together of this short film (although it had been talked about for about a month, it felt like within a 24-hour period it all got real), another thing I have been working on, pestering, obsessing over, manipulating, conniving, etc. – for months – literally since last August – suddenly reached a new phase, in the same 24-hour period when the film turned from a “maybe” to a “Go.” Same day. Why does everything happen at the same time? I’m not ready to talk about the second thing yet, because I don’t want to jinx that one either, I’ll only talk about it when it’s DONE, but it’s been a ridiculous and lengthy process requiring cold-calling people I don’t know, asking favors of people I don’t know, and trying to get around a wall in order to get what I want, and the whole process has taught me how to be persistent, and how to give up worries that I might seem like a pest. If you want it, then you have to take that risk. Be a freakin’ pest. In general, people want to be helpful, and sometimes they need a nudge, or a reminder. “Hey, member you said you’d do that thing for me three months ago? Could we re-visit it?” Always nice, always accepting that people are busy, bees with honey, etc. etc. I mean, there’s being a pest, and then there’s being Rupert Pupkin, and I know the difference. I had to just keep emailing different people, even though I had already emailed, and keep asking, and keep saying, “Can we re-visit this? I know you’re busy… thank you so much …” This type of behavior is REALLY hard for me, but dammit, I want this. After months of nothing-ness, suddenly – a breakthrough. Still not where it’s an actuality, but WORLDS closer. And of course there would be a breakthrough on the same day when I got a text from the film producer telling me to book my flight ASAP. The two projects are not connected at all. They have nothing to do with each other, except for the fact that they were both generated by me, and after months of wishing/hoping/waiting, of course BOTH things started moving, like some gigantic interconnected engine, in a single 24-hour period. I had a moment where I thought, “Can’t we just spread the good news out? Why can’t we parcel it out a little bit more evenly?” Then I got over myself. Only jagoffs bitch about too much good news.

— Finally finished The Red and the Black. I had never read it before. Good GOD. What a brutal and hilarious novel. Hilarious and awful. Made me laugh out loud repeatedly. Thinking: “These people are OUT … of their MINDS.”