My bathroom has a window that looks out over an airshaft and then looks directly into the public stairwell. Which means that I pretty much can be fully seen when I am in the shower. My upstairs neighbor assured me, “I’m gay. It doesn’t matter to me …” but it is definitely a problem to be handled.
I obviously need to hang a curtain there, although I have to say I am a bit casual about nudity. What do I really care. If there’s some creepy Peeping Tom, I know how to take care of HIM, but I don’t have a strange shyness about the whole thing. However, I realize, that SOMETHING must be done.
The best thing was that the tween set, in their original explorations of my apartment, immediately discerned the issue. Emma said to me breathlessly, “Sheila, people can see into your shower!” “I know!” I replied. “I have to do something about that!”
Maybe 20 minutes later, Emma comes up to me and says, “Do you have any paper, Sheila?” Carson hovered nearby. There was obviously some sort of plan afoot.
I went into my room and grabbed a huge pad of paper and gave it to the girls. They snatched it, ready to go off on their secretive project, and I said, “There’s a funny looking box on my desk – it has a bunch of different colored pens in it, if you want to use it.”
Carson and Emma RACED off, women on a mission.
Half an hour later, I was in my study, and the girls, all three of them, came up to me, holding a big piece of paper, and BARELY containing their hysteria. They all spoke at once.
Carson: “Sheila – people can see into your shower, so we made a sign –”
Emma: “We made a sign because people can see into your shower –”
Becca: (the youngest) “Look! Look! Look!”
They presented me with the sign they had made, that I am supposed to put in the window facing the stairwell, and don’t think I didn’t! I hung the sign up immediately. Because it is Love made manifest. By three tween girls.
Here is what the girls made.
The full view:
hahahahahaha
Now for some closeups.
This comment is my favorite.
hahahahahahaha
This next one CRACKS ME UP
Thank you, girls! I love my sign!
This is making me want to send you a curtain, Sheila. I am quite disturbed.
hahahaha No, it’s all set now! Curtain installed! Peeping Tom thwarted!
i suggest…u get this sign printed onto fabric and make a curtain from it…because its so brilliant and then will be durable!
Mitchell – I love that idea! Isn’t that last one so hilarious – with the arrow? Like, providing a DISTRACTION for my nudity? “Hey, look over there! There’s a pony!” HAHAHAHAHA
Please please please hook me up with the contact info of these girls because I want to befriend them immediately. Also, my new neighbors just built a terrace that is dangerously close to my window and I think I need a sign like this to discourage them from looking in.
My God, that is the funniest thing ever. I’m dying.
Congrats on your new home, Sheila.
Curly – hahahahahaha They could make some extra cash during middle school with this “sign” project. I am particularly fond of the “feel my wrath” comment. That just totally tickles my funny bone!!!
Also, I love Mitchell’s idea. And I’m sure Urban Outfitters would too. The girls should sell the design to them. Those curtains would be hung in NYC apartments far and wide. College = more than paid for.
I love the creepy staring eyeball in the middle of the second O in “Looking”.
Feel my wrath is what got me too! I have a wee cold thing going on so when I laugh, I sound like Muttley from “Catch that Pigeon.” This post was one big long wheezy laugh for me. I love those girls. My 9-year-old niece is on the cusp of this brand of humor and I LOVE it.
And “rated R”???? So clever and funny!!
Okay, “look, there’s a pony” actually made me laugh out loud.
I am in TEARS, this is so funny and sweet. Great peeps!
Oh, this is adorable! I have been following your book-moving saga with delight and I say–ditch the curtain, laminate the sign. Those peeping Toms can’t say they weren’t warned…
This is awesome. I disagree with “There’s nothing here” but the pony comment just killed me. At work, we use “Look at the shiny keys!” as a distraction phrase.
I also love the idea that you might have a pet lion.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love these girls!!
“Look, there’s a pony.”
I am now picturing an ACTUAL pony whose job it is to trot up and down the streets of Weehawken just to distract certain, you know, BUTTS from shower lookin’.
Wow, it’s not just any old place you can get a Yankee Doodle Pigeon reference. In a comment, no less. :-)
Ur a butt! hahahahahaha
The guard pony is hilarious, Trace.
waaaaaaah! “No seriously Dude”.
I particularly like how they decided upon an “R” rating. PG-13? Too tame for nudity….
X? Too scary to go there….
hahahahha!
That is hilarious.
I’ve got to get a shower curtain like that… You don’t know how many times I’ve been in the shower and started thinking things like, “Now, does Myanmar border Laos or do I have to go through Thailand to get there?”
…Or, I’d love to have this short conversation with my inquisitive 7 year old:
“Dad, where is Uruguay?”
“I don’t know, Anna Kate, why don’t you take a bath and find out?”
“Look, there’s a pony.”
Hahaha…that’s funny.
“i suggest…u get this sign printed onto fabric and make a curtain from it…because its so brilliant and then will be durable!”
I’ll print the fabric if we can figure out the size and a print file. Email me.
my favorites:
“Look there’s a pony”…which is hysterical all by itself (not, “look there’s a four-headed gargoyle” or “look! there’s a large man behind you in a ski mask with a hatchett). oh hell no, the object of distraction is just an ordinary, loveable pony) but it’s the accompanying arrow that kills me.
also:
“You don’t deserve to look.”
This made my day. Please frame it…or have it silk screened onto a real curtain. This is a work of art.
The fabric suggestion is genius.
“UR A BUTT”
hahahahahahahaha! And “Look it’s a pony!” For peeping Toms with ADHD. These girls are so great.
Allison – the arrow TOTALLY makes the joke!
And I’m so glad you find the “U don’t deserve to look” thing funny too – that one just cracks me up! Like, I’m getting all UPPITY about it with the peeping Tom.
Miss you so much!!
i’m gonna use the ‘look, there’s a pony’ VERY soon in my actual everyday life.
A pony!? Where…? Damn, missed it again.
I also love the “feel my wrath”
Take a really good picture of the sign.
Print it on fabric and make window curtains for your bathroom.
Have it made into a custom shower curtain.
I love the shaming “you don’t deserve to look”, leaving the peeping Tom to question his own worth, his life choices, his every human failing that have led him to this sorry state of non-deservedness.
hahahahahahahaha Bill – I know!!!! Laughing!
OTHERS deserve to see me naked. But YOU? Please. You SO don’t DESERVE all this awesome nudity.
I mean … it’s so hysterical.
This nudity? You need to EARN the RIGHT to see it. But you, bub? You’ve got a ways to go.
That is some creative signwork. If the “omg” didn’t give a peeping tom pause, then the “feel my wrath” definitely sealed the deal.
I can’t look at the pony because I’m running from the pet lion!
Just make a life-size cutout of yourself and leave it in the shower, then go hang-out on the stairs and see who the freaks are.
One, final note to add to the “Look, there’s a pony” bacchanal: may we all take a moment to appreciate that this girl has impeccable grammar. How many tweens putting together a big gag sign like this take the time to insert commas and apostrophes. In addition to being hysterical, this a grammatically correct sentence (except that the arrow serves the double purpose of punctuating the end of the sentence, instead of a period, AND indicating the direction in which Mr. Peepers McPervertson should look for the pony). I too am going to incorporate this phrase into my life–especially when I want to steal something off someone’s plate, like the last cookie. “Look, there’s a pony â” and the cookie is mine.
“Look there’s a pony” is totally something Natalie would write. hahaha its like i know these girls…
Hilarious. I’m definitely using the “Look, there’s a pony” phrase in the future!