Again, just like my April viewing diary, this will be a pretty tough read for anyone not into Supernatural. It may be a tough read for those who DO watch Supernatural (especially if you loved the last 3 seasons. If this applies to you: my apologies in advance. I’m just speaking my truth.) I decided to re-watch straight through Season 11 to Season 14. Season 12 left such a bad taste in my mouth I’ve never re-watched a single episode. (I re-watched “Regarding Dean” last month for my piece on men looking at themselves in the mirror.)

But it was an interesting experiment and some things have occurred to me through this experience.

1. Binge-watching Season 12 is a much different experience than watching it drip out in real time. Binging covers up a multitude of sins. The momentum helps. It’s a way better season binged. It’s still not in any way, shape or form, good, and I hate SO MUCH OF IT, but the binge-format helps HIDE a lot of the bad-ness of it.

2. Season 12 works beautifully compared to season 13. Season 13 is so mis-guided, so … awful … with so many elements that don’t work … that I watch, thinking, “What the FUCK am I subjecting myself to?” Dinosaurs? Freakin’ “dark Kaia” with a sword, twirling and whirling through a primeval forest, are you fucking KIDDING me. I dislike trash-talking actors. In general, I avoid it. But Asmodeus? The Wayward girls? Mary Winchester? The drop-off in quality is alarming. Season 13 makes Season 12 look like a masterpiece.

So those are my two macro observations. I am glad I submitted to a re-watch. It was illuminating.

This is going to be a pretty grim read.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 1 “Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire” (2015; d. Robert Singer)
Ah, we had such hopes then.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 2 “Form and Void” (2015; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Of all the badass things Sam has ever done, this has got to be Top 5 Badassery.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 3 “The Bad Seed” (2015; d. Jensen Ackles)
I was so into the potential of Amara. Not for any reason other than it put Dean into a zone we had never seen before. Something new. A challenge from within. It SOFTENED him. This was the tension of Season 11 until it all went to hell. Also, my God, look at this:

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 4 “Baby” (2015; d. Thomas J. Wright)
A masterpiece. Top 5 of the entire series. Side note: I have many thoughts on Castiel, especially watching these last 3 seasons back to back. He is such a liability – how many times has he made poor choices that fuck everything up? I mean, he freakin’ broke Sam’s brain. This is a betrayal on such a deep level – and it’s SAM – which is Dean’s Achilles heel. Hell, it’d be my Achilles heel too. You break my brother’s BRAIN? You’re not FAMILY anymore, pal. In my opinion, Dean’s “You’re dead to me” in Season 14 was a long time coming. Here, in “Baby,” the use of Castiel is the best use of the character in YEARS. He’s a voice on the phone, he’s support staff, he’s deadpan and literal (very funny), and he’s there but not there. He’s there in SERVICE to the brothers. It works totally. Everything about this episode is perfect.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 5 “Thin Lizzie” (2015; d. Rashaad Ernesto Green)
The exchange about the “toilet water” is hilarious.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 6 “Our Little World” (2015; d. John F. Showalter)
This scene, people. THIS SCENE. They WENT THERE.

Alien (1979; d. Ridley Scott)
Brie Larson has been going around saying she’s proud to be the first woman to head up a Marvel franchise (which, of course, is great). But she goes on: she’s playing someone that little girls FINALLY can look up to. As though we’ve been in a desert until she came along. She’s so happy to “normalize” the idea of a woman heading up an action franchise. Hey, Brie. Watch more movies.

Aliens (1986; d. James Cameron)
For my second column on Film Comment, I wrote about the relationship of Ripley and Hicks in Aliens. The reaction to this column was overwhelming.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019; d. Joe Berlinger)
Zac Efron is so damn good in this. I reviewed the film for Ebert.

Dead to Me, Season 1, episode 1 (2019; d. Amy York Rubin)
Allison made me watch the pilot for this series, and it was wonderful. I already love both of these actresses so much, and the material is really really interesting. I will continue on with it!

Non-Fiction (2019; d. Olivier Assayas)
I’m a big fan of Assayas’ work (and his collaboration with Binoche). His latest feels very Woody-Allen-inspired.

Tolkien (2019; d. Dome Karukoski)
I reviewed the film for Ebert.

The Letter (1940; d. William Wyler)
One of Bette Davis’ very best. On another level. All I will say is: watch the movie again and watch her right hand throughout, the hand that shot the gun in the first scene. The hand remembers what she did. Always.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 7 “Plush” (2015; d. Tim Andrew)
I have many thoughts, too, with this re-watch, at what the Wayward thing did to Donna and Jody. I’m sorry if my comments upset people. I am just speaking my own truth. I understand people are into different things for different reasons. So my comments are not meant like “You’re stupid if you liked it.” And I do not appreciate those of us who critiqued Wayward Sisters being called sexist, misogynist, all that other bullshit. You do yourself no favors when that’s how you deal with criticisms. I’m just saying what was true for ME. Donna is sort of a Charlie stand-in, she’s “us,” the regular person who finds herself in these extraordinary circumstances. So was Jody at the start, really. Donna’s “vibe” comes from another world, though, a smiley Midwestern world, completely different from the gloom-doom SPN universe. This puts her in line with Charlie’s energy, too. Plus the fact that she’s a woman. So they’re these cheerful positive women who somehow get into the inner circle, as friends, and it’s a wonderful thing, when it works. Separating Donna out, into the so-called “badass” world of Wayward … just didn’t work. She works best in COMPARISON with Sam and Dean. This is one of my drum-beats. These secondary characters – whether it’s Donna or Garth or, hell, Amelia – work only in so far as what they help reveal about Sam and Dean. It works best when these are fully fleshed-out real and eccentric characters. Like Ellen and Jo. Donna is more one-dimensional than Ellen and Jo, but her THING works really well in connection to Sam and Dean. She’s a new element, she’s different, she’s a wild-card thrown into the mix. Suddenly, though, all that eccentricity vanished in the Wayward pilot … suddenly she’s a badass with a flamethrower and a huge smile … and there’s nothing to compare her to. Donna can’t exist in a vacuum. This is the thing about the concept of the show, and what Kripke set up in the pilot, and which many fans (weirdly) seem to resent. This is the Sam and Dean show. You can’t escape it. You can TRY, and Dabb has tried. And he has failed. I mean, now we have a huge cast of random AU hunters walking through the bunker, NONE of whom are distinct, and NONE of whom reveal ANYthing about Sam and Dean. There is a fundamental misunderstanding at the TOP LEVEL at what the show even IS. At any rate, all of this is to say: Watching “Plush” is a relief. Because this is where Donna can shine. In contrast to the brothers.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 8 “Just My Imagination” (2015; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
Peak Supernatural. Season 11 was so good. We’re moving into a really really strong sequence of episodes here. I watch this one all the time. I pop it in on the regular. “Drop Dead Fred.” “Totoro.” “So let’s say Bozo’s legit. Which … hello, Crazy Town, but okay …”

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 9 “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (2015; d. Robert Singer)
Here is where they started to make choices which SEEMED strong … very VERY strong … but which then somehow … imploded. They brought back into play things we hadn’t heard about since Season 5: the cage. Michael. Lucifer. (Humorously: no mention of poor Adam.) So Sam’s been getting these visions. He thinks God is telling him something. Instead it’s been Lucifer. Which is all delightfully sick, with all kinds of consent issues (I love the “problematic” consent on Supernatural. The whole damn show is about people having other things inside of them without their consent.) The promise of this sequence, the look on Sam’s face when he realizes what has happened … is that much more upsetting when you realize how Sam was betrayed (by the showrunners/writers) in the last 3 episodes, where he’s in the presence of Lucifer and is like, “Ho hum, family therapy, why are planets round.”

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 10 “The Devil in the Details” (2015; d. Thomas J. Wright)
There’s been an angel smiting. Castiel offers to take Dean’s temperature. Lucifer takes Sam on a walk down memory lane, which reminds me of the “lessons” Zachariah gave Sam and Dean about playing their roles. It’s an interesting concept and brings up another “old issue” – how Sam chose to not look for Dean in Purgatory. These are the kinds of callbacks I love, because there’s always unfinished business.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 11 “Into the Mystic” (2016; d. John Badham)
This is a really good episode. It does everything it needs to do. It propels forward the various arcs, but it also deepens our understanding of where Sam and Dean are at. Retirement home pamphlet? Forming bonds with Dee Wallace and the Irish hunter? Women? Women in their world? It’s so rare. These are two lovely additions. It hurts me to watch this now. Considering.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 12 “Don’t You Forget About Me” (2016; d. Stefan Pleszczynski)
This episode is like mainlining some glorious drug directly into your veins. Even the LENGTHY monster monologue at the end can’t tarnish it. This was the last period where it was exciting to tune into Supernatural every week, because each episode was fantastic. And Jody? See my comments above in re: Donna. In the Wayward episode, something happened to the character of Jody: it was both pushed and also flattened out. Kim Rhodes was pushing. Which … she NEVER does. And because she pushed her emotions, subtlety was lost. There was no HUMOR – which was also a death knell. Again: these are amazing characters – Jody, Donna – even Claire and Alex – but they’re only interesting in conjunction with Sam and Dean. Once you remove them out into their own context, you see there’s not much “there there.” They serve a purpose in Supernatural, and an IMPORTANT purpose.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 13 “Love Hurts” (2016; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Another fascinating episode, with one of my favorite final scenes in recent memory. Their acting work, their scene work and character work … ACES. What was so exciting to me about this Amara thing was it was brand-new territory. And yes, she was a Big Bad, but she was also a woman in a flowing black dress with swelling cleavage, bringing into the picture all kinds of metaphors and associations. (This was the problem, one of the many problems with the BMOL. They brought with them nothing but their gear.) So Dean “succumbing” to Amara is, yes, “literal” – but literal on multiple levels. For example, “Into the Mystic” wouldn’t “fit” in any other season. But it fits in this season, because Dean’s dream-world and psyche is being dominated by this mysterious woman – who doesn’t THREATEN him – but offers him peace and bliss. This was all great stuff and Ackles played it brilliantly.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 14 “The Vessel” (2016; d. John Badham)
ANOTHER great episode. It’s a feature film, basically. Badham put so much care into every single detail: life on the submarine, the break-down of everyone’s duties, as WELL as the casting of that terrific ensemble. They didn’t look like modern men with a cell phone just off-screen. And as highly designed as the episode was, with all these elements, and explosions, and submarines … what’s great about it is that it was all for naught. The mission was a bust (on one level). Dean came back empty-handed. But he was changed by what he saw. Ackles’ line reading of “I was just a witness…” I have goosebumps as I type those words. Also, you get to see him in a sailor hat.

The Terminator (1984; d. James Cameron)
A re-watch for the Michael-Biehn factor.

Trial by Fire (2019; d. Ed Zwick)
I reviewed for Ebert.

Rolling Thunder Revue (2019; d. Martin Scorsese)
This one is under embargo until June 10, so I can’t say anything about it.

Charlie Says (2019; d. Mary Harron)
Allison and I went to go see this. I love Mary Harron’s work. I probably know far too much about the Manson girls. What this did really well was show the slow creep of brainwashing. The point where you reach the point of no return. I still don’t feel sorry for those girls.

1969 (2019; ABC News).
Allison and I watched two episodes in the ABC News series, on the Manson Girls and on Chappaquiddick. Thank goodness for my friendship with Allison. We are so much in sync, and we’ve been that way since the jump. I love her.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 15 “Beyond the Mat” (2016; d. Jerry Wanek)
I miss my show. To quote that song, “Look what they’ve done to my show, Ma.”

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 16 “Safe House” (2016; d. Stefan Pleszczynski)
This episode really really gets to me. I think it’s funny that the whole concept is so confusing they have to explain it to each other repeatedly. But I loved the structure of the episode, and the overall gloom of that “nest.” So good to see Rufus, too.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 17 “Red Meat” (2016; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
Jesus, God, this episode is a work-out. And I just want to point out: please notice how many episodes we’ve had in a row where it’s just Sam and Dean. I am now re-watching Season 13/14 and there are sometimes FOUR plots per episode. Like I give a shit about Asmodeus trying to gain control of Hell, or Nick trying to avenge his family, or … what the FUCK, Dabb. Side note: LOOK at how strong Season 11 is thus far. It’s amazing.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 18 “Hell’s Angel” (2016; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Let’s bring Cas back. Oh, right, because he said Yes to Lucifer. Add that to the list of Castiel’s poor choices. At what point do you say, “Hey, Cas. Stop ‘helping.'”

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 19 “The Chitters” (2016; d. Eduardo Sánchez)
This episode has a wild woolly atmosphere I really really love. The actor who plays the disgraced hermit sheriff has a freakin’ TOUR DE FORCE acting scene. His pain is palpable. I love the young hot sheriff. I love the “ganja girl.” I love the hot-to-trot lady lusting over Sam. And the “hunter couple” are a wonderful mirror of Sam and Dean – this is how you do it.

Fosse/Verdon, Season 1, episode 3 “Me and My Baby” (2019; d. Adam Bernstein)
This sequence killed me. I need to write about Michelle Williams’ performance in this. She’s a fine actress. But this has been a breakthrough for her. She’s on another level now.

Fosse/Verdon, Season 1, episode 4 “Glory” (2019; d. Jessica Yu)
There are definitely valid critiques to be made about the series, its approach, its direction, fact vs. fiction, etc. If you know a lot about this subject – as I do – it’s difficult to ignore some of that stuff. However: what the series DOES do, and it does it wonderfully well, is it gets inside this marriage – not just the conventional marriage aspect of it – but the ARTISTIC marriage aspect of it. Which is all that interests me, anyway. Fosse’s choreography is not about sex so much as it is about trauma and sex combined. There is no catharsis in his view of sex. Sex is pleasurable but it is also frightening. The series gets into this.

Fosse/Verdon, Season 1, episode 5 “Where Am I Going” (2019; d. Thomas Kail)
Ann Reinking enters the scene. And it’s fascinating. Again: Michelle Williams is killing it. Hers is one of the performances of the year for me.

Fosse/Verdon, Season 1, episode 6 “All I Care About Is Love” (2019; d. Minkie Spiro)
The approach towards Chicago … and suddenly their 10 year old daughter is 14. Overnight.

They Were Expendable (1945; d. John Ford)
Recently, someone on Twitter asked, “What is your favorite war movie?” Off the top of my head, I answered with They Were Expendable. Bleak. Realistic. Excellent.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 20 “Don’t Call Me Shurley” (2016; d. Robert Singer)
And here is where it all started to go wrong. After “Fan Fiction,” I felt like the amulet/Samulet had been “handled,” the arc closed out in the most perfect way possible. To quote Kim Manners: “Give them what they want but not in a way they expect.” And then this team had to go fuck it up. And then never fucking mention it. Dean never says, “Wait … you kept the amulet?” Sam: “Yeah, man, I knew you’d regret it” – SOMEthing. Nope. Ugh. And Chuck. No. I loved Chuck. I don’t like Chuck as God.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 21 “All in the Family” (2016; d. Thomas J. Wright)
This scene (in the Gif) with Amara in the forest shows how it still could have been salvaged. We could have avoided the DEBACLE that was episodes 22 and 23. The Amara arc is still present here, trembling in the air between them, in his temptation – for what? For peace, bliss, oblivion, but also … WOMAN. And what Woman represents in this archetypal male world. And what is fascinating is: ultimately he DOESN’T get to “have” Amara – but what he DOES get to “have” is his mother, returned from the dead. Woman as Interchangeable Symbols – which makes sense to someone like Dean, who grew up motherless, who watched his mother burn. This is what the show has explored – implicitly and explicitly – over 11 years – and it’s all here, in embryo: his yearning towards Boobalicious Amara – his ultimate choice to destroy himself – and then his reunion with Mum. God, there are so many “how great it might have been” missed opportunities in this rich material.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 22 “We Happy Few” (2016; d. John Badham)
Terrible. Even the blocking was bad. Everyone standing around like statues. Sam “taking on” the Mark? And we don’t get to see that scene where his decision is made? BAD. Dean being like “No, Sammy! Well, okay, Sammy”? NO. BAD. And please: I KNOW that the showrunner left, and everything was in chaos. I KNOW it and I don’t CARE.

Supernatural, Season 11, episode 23 “Alpha and Omega” (2016; d. Philip Sgriccia)
I’m going to say some mean things about Castiel. I know that this is a torched and toxic landscape in the fandom and I don’t mean to add to it. I am just talking about his PURPOSE in the STORY and how he has HAD no purpose in the story for about five years – EXCEPT to make poor choices, REALLY poor choices. Did I mention he broke Sam’s brain on purpose? This scene between Dean and Cas in the car … I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience as I watched it. It’s the first moment where the regular language of the show – “You’re like family” – suddenly sounded hollow. It made no sense. It’s an ominous harbinger.

Fleabag, Season 2
I was an absolute wreck at the end of this. I was kind of shocked at how much it got to me. I actually found myself in tears about my “hot priest” (although he wasn’t a priest), the man who loved me, whom I loved, but it didn’t work out. We had almost an identical conversation as the one they had at the bus station in the final episode. I was a wreck. I am so in awe of this show. Huge huge fan.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 1 “Keep Calm and Carry On” (2016; d. Philip Sgriccia)
I gritted my teeth and popped in Disc 1. I practically have PTSD from the first go-round. Almost everything made me sad. Because Mary’s return is also RICH with possibility, none of which they explored. Or, they DID but then they dropped it. And they ruined the character, and also torched the symbolic atmosphere in which “Mary” – the memory of Mom – lived. And it just drove home how much a part of the show that symbolic atmosphere really was. To see Jared’s wincing face as he talked to Samantha Smith – like, barely tolerating her … I’ll have more to say about this. Also: the BMOL. Terrible. Terrible choice. Nothing interesting about it. Sam and Dean had never heard of the BMOL? In this day and age of the Internet? Please. To make the Big Bad in Season 12 be human beings is a BREAK with the contract of the show, its reason for being, the “family business” itself. I’m appalled. However: Sam being tortured underneath a shower nozzle was erotic as hell.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 2 “Mamma Mia” (2016; d. Thomas J. Wright)
Unfortunately, the ridiculous fan flip-out about the “lack of consent” in this scene (which – IS THE POINT) – was so loud and so out of control I fear it reached the writers’ room and they backed off of anything even attempting to be ambiguous. But the show has been ambiguous about consent for 11 years. Honest to God. I don’t like to complain on Twitter or scream at writers, tagging them. Not only do I not like to do this, I find the behavior appalling and childish. Unfortunately, there are many who do not agree, and so they’re the ones who get the most attention.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 3 “The Foundry” (2016; d. Robert Singer)
I had almost blanked out Rick Springfield’s tenure on the show. I love Rick Springfield. I was very excited to see what they might do with evil masking as celebrity. It was a bust. There are too many damn characters in this show now. Also, and this is really granular: in one of the scenes between Cas and Crowley, Misha Collins gave a hugely sarcastic line reading. There are so many problems with this. First of all, it’s a problem with the writing: these new writers don’t seem to understand that Castiel doesn’t hear sarcasm, he’s literal. But this was an eyeroll line. And Collins, instead of … realizing the problem and either undercutting it or intervening (and he has intervened before at other times) … he sneered his line sarcastically and I remember my first reaction: WHAT was THAT. Everything felt “off.”

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 4 “American Nightmare” (2016; d. John F. Showalter)
This is where the bottom dropped out for me, although there are good aspects to this episode. First of all, that the issue of Mom leaving is “wrapped up” by the end of the episode, giving Supernatural a “what have we all learned from this” movie-of-the-week feeling – which MY GOD MAKE IT STOP – and also to deny SAM any emotions about Mom’s abandonment of them was disgusting. Sam is way too okay too fast. I mean, okay, maybe because he never knew his mother to begin with? But that is the LEAST interesting choice to take, dramatically. So frustrating.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 5 “The One You’ve Been Waiting For” (2016; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
This was the first episode that made me angry. Because I didn’t feel like anyone over there understood Dean. They were outside of him, looking in.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 6 “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox” (2016; d. John Badham)
Appalling. I was sooooo turned off by this episode, and its view of hunters. There’s a reason Eric Kripke burned down the roadhouse in Season 2. Because he wanted to avoid presenting hunters like THIS. The montage that opens it – Asa Fox, killing things, loving the ladies in his car, one lady after the other, all with a smile on his face – it was so gross, just the VIEW of this guy was so one-dimensional, and again, it felt like the writers over there are outside the world of hunters, looking in. They think that this is what WE like about hunters. I don’t know. It was very very weird. And then ret-conning Mary – still hunting after the birth of Dean – which give me a BREAK. The witch twins were okay, but I don’t understand when witches morphed from “human beings doing creepy things with bodily fluids” to “supernatural beings with lightning bolts coming out of their eyeballs.” This episode really really bugged me and it still does.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 7 “Rock Never Dies” (2016; d. Eduardo Sánchez)
From bad to worse. Dean bitching about how shallow LA is. CLEARLY nobody over there remembers “Hollywood Babylon” or how much Dean LOVES movies and Los Angeles. Also, them pretending to be budding rock stars to get a meet and greet? NO. These characters are SMARTER than that.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 8 “LOTUS” (2016; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Oh, great. Just what I need. POLITICS in my Supernatural.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 9 “First Blood” (2017; d. Robert Singer)
And now I’m feeling insulted. Listen, Sam and Dean are tough, but tough enough to single-handedly take down an entire SWAT team? Member how they high-tailed it out of “Nightshifter”? Also, ENOUGH with Sam and Dean having shoot-outs with other humans. Fuck you, Dabb.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 10 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” (2017; d. Thomas J. Wright)
No memory of this episode. Zero. Nada. Zilch. I watched it thinking, “Wow. DID I see this??” I can tell how burnt out I must have been the first time around from the parade of awful episodes leading up to this one.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 11 “Regarding Dean” (2017; d. John Badham)
This is a beautiful episode. Heartbreaking, funny. It would all work even BETTER if it had come in the middle of season 9. Just imagine how that “bull riding” sequence would look in season 9. But never mind. It’s still a good stand-alone episode and there are a lot of subtle things that make it fun. How the waitress gets upset with herself for messing around with a man who was “roofied up” and he smiles at her like “don’t worry I’m sure it was fun.” Hilarious. HOWEVER, let me point out one thing: Rowena’s presence in the show has ruptured the fabric of what is possible. As long as they have HER on speed-dial, and as long as she is powerful enough to literally return from the dead … then true tension can’t exist. ALSO, in the case of this episode: as long as Rowena is there, it deprives Sam of the opportunity to have to figure it out on his own. It’s like, What did they DO before Rowena was around? Go back and watch. Along with the bunker, I feel that it is Rowena who has truly “broken” the show. I’m sick of all these other people. As I’ve said many times: the main casualty with this new regime is the character of Sam.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (2017; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
No memory of this one. Zero. Nada. I enjoyed it! So that’s something!

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 13 “Family Feud” (2017; d. P.J. Pesce)
Now, apparently, instead of exploring the fact that Mary has moved out, we go into a family melodrama with the Crowleys, and Gavin, and are you kidding me? It’s almost like the writers are AFRAID of the trauma of the Winchesters, and they are acting Victorian about it, hoping it’ll just go away and manage itself. No, you gotta go in DEEPER to the trauma. Nobody cares about Gavin. Also: this is when they started flailing with Crowley. Poor Mark Sheppard.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 14 “The Raid” (2017; d. John MacCarthy)
I can’t remember which episode has the argument with Mary, when Mary tells them she’s been “working with” the BMOL. (Oh ffs). I think it’s this one. At any rate, I am SO glad I went back and watched Season 12, because this is an amazing scene, and Ackles and Padalecki kill it. When Dean calls her “Mary”?? It’s like the world explodes. (And all the dialogue in eps leading up to this: “We don’t have a mom who cooks us chicken soup” “I’m not JUST a mom”, etc., was ridiculous and self-congratulatory, but totally out of place, shoe-horned into a show where it flat out doesn’t belong. This show deals in ARCHETYPES. And Mary/Mother is an archetype. I mean, her name alone. If you want to MESS with that archetype, and have these grown men realize they basically “made up” their mother in her absence – okay, that would be very interesting: but you would have to do a better job than what they’ve done here. Like: dig INTO it, let it be ambivalent, let them have feelings about it, devote whole episodes to it … Making her a woman who abandons her children – BY CHOICE – choosing to hang out instead with her fuck-buddy (who is also a psychopath who okay-ed the torture of one of her sons) … correct me if I’m wrong, but I get the feeling that the people writing this feel that this is female empowerment, that the “feminists” in the audience will be like “You go, Mary Winchester. You TELL your entitled sons you’re not just a mom!” There are not enough eyeballs to roll in the world … Our future looks pretty bleak if THIS is supposed to be an empowerment message. A mother who chooses everything BUT her family. Yeah. I feel more empowered already. But when that “Mary” just flies out of Jensen’s mouth … there it all is, all the missed potential, and it’s such a dig even the stony Smith recoils.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 15 “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell” (2017; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
And then this one made me angry because they basically just left that young girl to her fate. Without looking back, really. “We can’t save this one. Okay, so let’s lie to her and high-tail it out of here.” WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SAM AND DEAN.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 16 “Ladies Drink Free” (2017; d. Amyn Kaderali)
So you can tell that the Wayward idea is growing. Unfortunately. The focus is everywhere except where it should be. But this? This is a HELL of a shot.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 17 “The British Invasion” (2017; d. John F. Showalter)
Still angry.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 18 “The Memory Remains” (2017; d. Philip Sgriccia)
This had real potential. I don’t understand the fan love of Mick Davies. I get it. I’m a party-pooper. I was like, “Get these British people off American soil.” It was 1776 all over again. And okay, so Dean has a hookup with a pretty waitress. Finally, someone is getting laid. She works at a coffee shop in the town, where they hang out and re-group while they work the case. So the first time Sam and Dean are there, Dean sees her and instantly wants her. He gets her. Dean rolls in with her the next morning. In a later scene at the coffee shop, later in the episode, Sam and Dean sit at the counter – and this waitress is in the background of some of the shots – and Dean never acknowledges her. They don’t have a moment, acknowledging that they fucked the night before. It’s like it never happened. Again, this is not Dean’s style. This is not Dean. And I think it’s just sloppiness on the part of the people running the thing. All you would need is a tiny moment of eye contact, something, just to keep that little mini-arc afloat. They didn’t used to be sloppy like this. Think of “Monster Movie.” Or “Shadow,” where Dean’s “relationship” with the cop Amy goes on throughout the episode, while he’s in town. It’s just sloppiness – I didn’t feel that Dean “ignoring” her was deliberate, it’s just that they didn’t build in a moment and then forgot to catch it on the day, or caught it but didn’t have time to include it, and etc. and etc. Sloppiness like this is new.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 19 “The Future” (2017; d. Amanda Tapping)
And now THIS iconic moment has been ruined too. They ruin everything. Mary. The Colt. The amulet. Ugh.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 20 “Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes” (2017; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
I had completely forgotten this one but I enjoyed it.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 21 “There’s Something About Mary” (2017; d. P.J. Pesce)
Rage at seeing a cold-blooded shoot-out with other human beings in the bunker. I don’t care that they’re BMOL. What is a shoot-out with other human beings doing in every episode of this show about killing monsters? This show where Sam and Dean used to have ethical arguments about who it was okay to kill? Who used to draw ethical lines? Now they’re hiding behind pillars and peeking out to pop off a shot at another human being. This is the best Dabb could come up with.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 22 “Who We Are” (2017; d. John F. Showalter)
Shoddy lighting. The main issue, in looking back on this now with some distance, is that she cannot act. And he plays the HELL out of this, like, my God, it’s some of the best work he’s done on the show, and yet … by the time it came around, my reaction was “Meh” and that’s what I can’t forgive.

Supernatural, Season 12, episode 23 “All Along the Watchtower” (2017; d. Robert Singer)
And now the AU comes into the story. Awesome. Even more appalling: now you can kill angels with bullets, which means now we have automatic weapons spraying “angel-killing bullets”. Disgusting.

The Perfection (2019; d. Richard Shepard)
I reviewed this new horror film – out on Netflix – for Ebert.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 1 “Lost and Found” (2017; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Mary and Lucifer wandering around in the “other world.” Asmodeus? Big Daddy accent? WHO CARES. This is the thing: in re-watching Season 12, I remembered why it was such a dismaying experience to watch it, but there was also a lot in it that I enjoyed. Episodes I had forgotten, scenes. And compared to Season 13, Season 12 is a masterpiece. But there’s stuff to enjoy in Season 13 too. Jack. I think young Calvert is wonderful. It’s just that he has now “taken the place” of Castiel – sort of – so now Castiel’s main role is to give Jack pep talks, which continues to this day. At this point, I don’t see how this can be fixed. It’s all too enmeshed, we’re too far gone.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 2 “The Rising Son” (2017; d. Thomas J. Wright)
The shedeem? What the hell? And we never hear about them again? Also: why is Sam like totally okay with Mom being dead and Cas being dead? He’s immediately trying to reassure Dean – which completely cuts off the character’s humanity.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 3 “Patience” (2017; d. Robert Singer)
Where do I even begin. First of all: good to see you, Missouri! Glad you’ve been brought back in order to be murdered. Also: Missouri was not a hunter. She was a psychic. Why is she suddenly a HUNTER? Off on hunts when she was raising her son? Honestly, these writers … They don’t know what they’re doing over there. I love how this high school girl is suddenly a Ninja when it comes time to defend herself. No hesitation! (Eyeroll.) Season 13 is interrupted by this parade towards Wayward and it’s really unfortunate.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 4 “The Big Empty” (2017; d. John Badham)
I am just not sure why this primeval black-ooze in The Big Empty speaks like Malcolm McDowell in Clockwork Orange.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 5 “Advanced Thanatology” (2017; d. John F. Showalter)
The CASE here was excellent, as was the incredible set for that maniac doctor’s lair. There were some truly spooky moments. Here’s where we learn Billie is now Death. Which, okay. I’m okay with Billie. But then I look back on the eccentricity of the first “Death” … and I see how much has been lost, and how this new team is incapable of coming up with anything that unique. Billie is scary and intimidating, but she’s also a flat-line. There’s a sameness in her affect. You never doubt she means business but still … think of the original Death. The other issue, yet again, has to do with Sam, and how Sam is presented. Suddenly, it seems almost out of nowhere, Sam is on a campaign to give Dean everything he wants, to “make him feel better.” Want to have a beer at breakfast? Go check out a strip club! Have fun! This is just evidence that nobody over there knows how to write Sam anymore: it’s VAGUE. Everything is him being “concerned about others.” Like, that’s his personality. Think about Sam’s journey over the series, think about everything he’s done and seen and been through … and this is the best these people can do for Sam? Final thing: Ackles plays hung over so well that I felt dehydrated just watching him.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 6 “Tombstone” (2017; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
This is entertaining. It’s entertaining to see Dean geek out. The production design was good, they went all out with the “motel room.” They put some thought into character development: rockabilly undertaker! Castiel works well here, as support staff, but you can see which way the wind is blowing: he is now totally Jack-focused, and there are many scenes of the two of them chatting, Castiel mentoring him. Maybe this flies well with a naive teenage audience (I say with no snark: I realize the audience is a diverse one. I’m bored with it, but it must work well for someone). I am vaguely frustrated by the fact that Sam clearly notices the awesome-ness of the rockabilly undertaker – and then nothing happens with it. It may sound like I’m wishing these guys would fall in love. That’s not it at all. But to be engaged with the reality they’re confronted with – in a subtle and real way – this is what the show used to be able to do in its sleep. Think of Dean and Melanie (my fave) in “The Mentalists” and how a little unrequited romance thing developed, giving that already entertaining episode another type of spark. This is what is lost here. This is what I felt in the way Jared looked at her: he was taken with her. Nobody over there is capable of sensing these subtleties now and running with it. Season 3 Dean would never “ignore” the coffee shop waitress he’d been banging for the whole episode. My “take” is that Sam “noticing” how pretty the undertaker was, and being drawn to her, was all just Jared being a good actor, filling in the blanks of a script that didn’t give him anything to do. And so, the potential just …. sits there.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 7 “War of the Worlds” (2017; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
Castiel and Lucifer … okay. Once again, though, Misha Collins was allowing a sarcastic line reading to come into play. He’s getting sloppy. And now … freakin’ Ketch is back too. I do enjoy his performance, even though I can’t stand the BMOL. Dean and Sam constantly have to compromise their ethics to “work with” people/monsters they find abhorrent (Crowley! Rowena!) … but Ketch is a horse of a different color. I don’t get the fan love of him, at all.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 8 “The Scorpion and the Frog” (2017; d. Robert Singer)
At this point, I have no idea what Season 13 is trying to do. I have no sense of any arc whatsoever. In my opinion, the focus of the “team” was in developing a spin-off so that they could have job security after Supernatural ended. So who cares about Season 13 and the show they’re actually writing for? This is what I sense. I sense these characters, this show, being taken for granted. That being said, there was a lot to like here, mainly Dean’s bonding with the safe-cracker. He was a cranky Gen-Xer, and I always appreciate it when Dean goes that route, because I relate.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 9 “The Bad Place” (2017; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Kaia. And Patience. And grrrl power. And dinosaurs. None of it feels real. To those who are like, “It’s a show about killing monsters, why do you want real?” – somehow they managed to make Dean and Sam feel like they live in an actual real place – i.e. our world – for 11 seasons, so ….

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 10 “Wayward Sisters” (2018; d. Philip Sgriccia)
“Biker Barbie” pretty much covers it. I’ve covered my issues with this. I have many many problems with the entire concept, and unfortunately those of us who did have problems with the concept were then called “misogynist” or “sexist” for not embracing the vision of Wayward. I watch plenty of stuff made by woman, about women. I don’t “go to” Supernatural for that. And I resented the whole vibe in the ad campaign and social media campaign, like, “Have you had enough of the DUDEBROS of Supernatural? HELL YEAH HERE’S SOME BADASS TEENAGE GIRLS THEN.” Nope. Hell to the nope. Gimme my dudebros back. And to those who are like, “Can’t we have both?” For sure. And we already have. Ellen. Jo. Charlie. Jody. Donna. The show has crawled with great female characters since Season 2. But they’re support staff, because the show is not about them and I am okay with that.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 11 “Breakdown” (2018; d. Amyn Kaderali)
A Donna-centric episode. Clearly they needed to dispatch her boyfriend just in case the pilot went. We can’t have any of these super strong women actually have intimate relationships, and certainly not with men. Claire can “fall in love” with Kaia (what?), but we can’t have flame-thrower Donna be just somebody’s GIRLFRIEND, so Doug has got to GO. There’s nothing EMPOWERING about being some man’s GIRLFRIEND. I am clearly not the demographic for this. And that’s fine. My criticism shouldn’t impact your enjoyment. Do you know how many things I love that are routinely – and widely – SHIT ON – by the majority of people online and offline? I’m a tough cookie. I still love what I love. Side note: the shots of all the monsters making online bids was embarrassing.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 12 “Various & Sundry Villains” (2018; d. Amanda Tapping)
Here’s an opportunity to talk about the systemic issues, because it’s all here in microcosm. There are too many characters, and the writers feel an obligation to give all of these side characters their own separate arcs – and so episodes are now split up into 2, sometimes 3 plots. Go back and watch Seasons 1 through 5. It’s like heaven, because you can just hang out with the main characters. “The Man Who Would Be King” REALLY stood out in that environment. And it was fine because what Castiel was doing DIRECTLY AFFECTED our two leads. But Rowena’s journey? Her fear of Lucifer? Who GIVES a shit? Why is an entire episode dedicated to HER? Meanwhile: the case, as it is, has all kinds of possibilities. Dean is in love? Wouldn’t it be fun to see that play out over an entire episode, a la Sam getting married to Becky? But no. He’s “cured”, mainly to leave room for an endless monologue by Rowena about her fears, and Sam … opening up to Rowena? I’m sorry. What? After everything he’s been through? Sam is SMARTER than this.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 13 “Devil’s Bargain” (2018; d. Eduardo Sánchez)
I listened to Jensen and Danneel’s commentary track for this episode, which was far more entertaining than the actual episode. How anyone got through even one single take without bursting into laughter is one of the world’s eternal mysteries. In their first group scene outside at the motel, Danneel said her first line, and Jared said, “Are you going to say it like that?” OH MY GOD. I really liked one thing Danneel said in her comments on the commentary track: She liked playing characters like this, she has an insight into what motivates Sister Jo: “She’s not a ‘bad girl’. She’s an opportunist.” That’s smart script analysis, and also gives an actor a “way in” to playing a character who is kind of a “nothing” on the page. I’m impressed. That’s kind of a smart and deep choice, it gives you something to work with. She’s not a bad girl, she’s an opportunist. It was hilarious when she said to Jensen on the track: “Dean is a little bit sexier than you are.” And his reaction!

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 14 “Good Intentions” (2018; d. P.J. Pesce)
The wartorn AU is KILLING ME.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 15 “A Most Holy Man” (2018; d. Amanda Tapping)
The “Godfather” element is somewhat enjoyable (that red room), and there were a couple of fun shots from out of a crime-noir in the 1940s (the shadows of the men running through the alley). There was an excellent scene between Sam and Dean to close out the episode. It stands out. Finally. The two of them by themselves.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 16 “ScoobyNatural” (2018; d. Robert Singer)
God forbid Castiel isn’t involved. Sorry, y’all. I’m annoyed. Season 13 is riding my last nerve. I’m in this thing for Sam and Dean. But I did enjoy this.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 17 “The Thing” (2018; d. John F. Showalter)
Asmodeus is just AWFUL. “That’s what you get for sassing me.” Don’t they realize that the momentum of the case – which is a pretty good one – comes to a shrieking halt every time they switch back to Ketch/Asmodeus? It’s so shoddily put together. And too bad, too, because the case itself is a really good one! Just let the guys work the case. Stay with them. Dean being strapped to a table in a dungeon, for “breeding” purposes, with actual tentacles coming at him to penetrate him … now, this is the Supernatural I know and love, but no, they think we want to see Asmodeus and Ketch too.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 18 “Bring ’em Back Alive” (2018; d. Amyn Kaderali)
This one is even worse: it has FOUR plots. Lucifer/Sister Jo in Heaven. Asmodeus in Hell. Dean and Ketch in the AU. Sam and Cas with Gabriel in the bunker. SERIOUSLY? I did like Ketch saying “Good lad.” But again: there are too many g-d characters in this damn thing.

The Mouthpiece (2019; d. Patricia Rozema)
This was a really lucky assignment from Ebert. I reviewed for the site. I highly recommend this film!

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 19 “Funeralia” (2018; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
It’s like they’ve forgotten how to write the show, they’ve forgotten the premise of the show, which is two brothers working cases. There is no need for this episode. Why not have a monster of the week then? They’re so in love with these peripheral characters like Rowena. Ugh. It’s so frustrating. Not one of these side characters – including Castiel – whose main job is to make poor choices – is even a quarter as interesting as Sam and Dean. I’m baffled by the popularity of Rowena.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 20 “Unfinished Business” (2018; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
And now we have an entire episode devoted to … Gabriel’s background. With Loki. Speight has become one of the better directors in the Supernatural bullpen (“Just My Imagination” is one of my all-time faves in the entire series), and I understand how beloved he is in the fandom and I love him too. But this episode is too much. What does it have to DO with anything? Why are Dean and Sam SIDE CHARACTERS in their own freakin’ SHOW? Look at Season 13. Meanwhile, Speight overdid it and has basically lost his voice, what with playing two roles AND directing, and when you lose your voice, you lose subtlety of expression … so there’s a flatness in his line delivery (out of character for him). Also, there’s a humor deficit – as though nobody over there remembers the HUMOR of the Trickster. Dean is so bored by what’s going on that it’s in the language. This is NOT a smart choice. You have put your lead character in a position where all he does is eye-roll from the background. This is the THIRD episode like this in a row. I don’t understand the choices made. Then there’s all the AU stuff, too, with Osric Chau over-acting – I don’t understand his choices – and Jack and Mary disagreeing and zzzzzzz.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 21 “Beat the Devil” (2018; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Welcome to the show Mollie or Maggie or whatever your name is. And, once again, Castiel is actually the VILLAIN in the episode – at least in the Winchester Belljar(TM) – where family and protecting Sam is everything – and yet it seems the Destiel people love it, so … the “toxic codependency” between the brothers is broken so that … Destiel can happen? I don’t know, I’m just guessing. Listen, the show has been a success for almost 15 years because of that “toxic codependency” (ugh, hate that lingo). When you REMOVE it, when you prioritize other characters, when you have Castiel say “Sam can’t be saved” and Dean DOESN’T punch Castiel out and charge forward ANYWAY? You’ve broken the contract of the show.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 22 “Exodus” (2018; d. Nina Lopez-Corrado)
Awesome: all the AU “warriors” in camo come back to the bunker. The LOOK on Dean’s face when Mary says she wants to stay in the AU. “These people need me,” she says. I am so DONE with this bullshit. I love how Ackles and Padalecki are so good and so connected that they can’t hold back their reactions to Mary, you can SEE it. They WINCE when they look at her. I had forgotten so much of this episode. Misha Collins’ performance as AU Castiel as a kind of Nazi commandant, with “evil” twitchy mouth is embarrassing.

Supernatural, Season 13, episode 23 “Let the Good Times Roll” (2018; d. Robert Singer)
Maggie is killed. And then she’s brought back. Awesome. Also the showdown between Michael and Lucifer … they’re dangling in the air? Think about the end of Season 5, and that graveyard, two guys in jeans standing there in the grass, and how EPIC it felt. That’s all you need if you actually trust what you’re doing and understand the show you’re creating.

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 1 “Stranger in a Strange Land” (2018; d. Thomas J. Wright)
Season 14 in a nutshell: Jack is useless, and the episode ends in a pep talk. Maggie is useless and yet she’s brought along on a hunt. Bobby and Mary clinking beer bottles: “You too sunshine” is so awkward it made me cringe. Putting what should be subtext into text, compulsively, in every episode: “We will find the solution together because that’s what we do.” I should keep a tally of how many times the exact same words are said throughout the season. I do enjoy Sam’s beard. But I question his judgment in re: Maggie. Maggie throws off any assumptions of Sam’s intelligence. It’s like Dabb et al just are DYING to write a show about plucky teenage kids. The Wayward hangover. They aren’t reconciled to the fact that the lead characters of the show they’re actually writing are men in their 30s/40s. The creation of Maggie is a huge “tell” and the fandom – as a whole – rejected her. I’m sorry for that actress, I’m sure she was excited, etc., but even just the CONCEPT of Maggie shows where “their” heads are at over there. Like, they all thought she was a good idea. The only really good scene in the episode, with some tension, was between Dean and Sister Jo.

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 2 “Gods and Monsters” (2018; d. Richard Speight Jr.)
Pep talk. Season 14 is allllll pep talks. At least it gives Castiel something to do. But it’s a problem. As I said earlier, way up there in the post, Castiel in “Baby” was the PERFECT “use” of the character. It also allowed for humor. All of this “buck up, kid, be yourself, accept yourself” stuff … over and over and over in every episode … again, I’m not the demographic for this shit. I hope the demographic it’s for is enjoying it!

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 3 “The Scar” (2018; d. Robert Singer)
Evil Kaia. Jumping and leaping and twirling. Her COSTUME. It’s all just too much. And the way she’s written … putting Dean in his place … in my opinion betrays some resentment on the part of the team who had put so much into creating Wayward and then seeing it not get picked up. It’s a Wayward hangover. I’m just reading the tea leaves, I could be wrong. Kaia’s little monologue is supposed to “up” the stakes for Dean, but then it also betrays part of the problem in how the whole thing went down – Dean pulling a gun on Kaia and ordering her into the car. Of course, both Sam and Dean have done TERRIBLE things over the years. But that crossed a LOT of lines. Again, I feel like they were outside Dean, looking in, and it shows they don’t get him. And meanwhile … back at the bunker, Castiel and some random AU hunter try to figure out a spell to cure this random girl. It’s not dramatic.

Late Night (2019; d. Nisha Ganatra)
I will be reviewing for Ebert. It comes out this week.

Sylvia (2003; d. Christine Jeffs)
Gwyneth Paltrow is really really good in this. I wonder what this movie would look like to people who don’t know every single detail of this story?