Fucked Up Feng Shui

Beth, Ceileidh and I were walking cross-town to get the subway up to the Metropolitan Museum. We were on 34th Street, walking east. And this is what we overheard, in a flash, as someone passed by us:

It was a big kind of flowzy-shaped guy, wearing a grey suit, very conservative-looking, with sunglasses on – and he was talking very loudly on his cell phone as he careened past us. And all we heard was:

“Man, your feng shui is all FUCKED UP.”

I just don’t think that that’s what the ancient feng shui gurus really had in mind.

Oh, one more thing:

I have worked in a “feng shui’ed” office and my roommate of 8 years was very into feng shui and re-did our main rooms – and it certainly does make a huge difference. Hard to explain. The first thing I did in my new apartment, in my rather small kitchen, was place a small mirror in a strategic position – and it completely opens up the room and makes it seem bigger and lighter. I don’t think it’s all malarkey, but I do think the popularization and yuppification of it is kind of ridiculous.

And some guy who looks like he eats Wendy’s 3 times a day screaming to his friend about how his “feng shui is all fucked up” is high comedy.

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3 Responses to Fucked Up Feng Shui

  1. Dave J says:

    I think “my feng shui is all fucked up” will be my new all-purpose excuse. ;-)

  2. Ann Marie says:

    Fun case studies in Feng Shui by my cousin….
    http://www.sweetfancymoses.com/guilfoile_fengshui.htm

  3. red says:

    Ann Marie, I am shaking with laughter.

    “In this hole lives the Wicked King. Kill for my Master. I turn children into killers.”

    HAHAHA

    Also:

    “If you find yourself compelled to read The Catcher in the Rye again and again and again, break it up occasionally with To Kill a Mockingbird, balancing negative Salinger energy with positive Harper Lee qi.”

    Also his explanation of what a “compass” is at the very bottom – this is hysterical!

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