Lesson #1 Do not blog while drunk at 4:30 in the morning. Lesson #2 Do not play poker while drunk at 3:00 in the morning. I was actually doing well last night but I have a friend, Let’s call him J, who could be the luckiest card player on the face of the planet. He’s also a very good card player which makes him very dangerous. I lost $3 for the evening after playing for 7 1/2 hours. Not very big stakes mind you but the winner went home with about $60 and the loser lost about the same. Here’s an example of just how lucky this guy is. For you non-card players I apologize.
We were playing a silly game called Jacks or better to open and trips to win. It’s a five card draw game. We antied up and were dealt 5 cards. Unless you had a pair of Jacks or better you could not open up the betting. If noone has Jacks or better we throw in our cards and ante up a quarter and start over. If somebody does have a pair of Jacks or better he bets and tries to either get trips or better on the draw or bluff people out of the pot convincing them he does. If you fold and the bettor does not have trips or better the game continues but only those who stayed in to challenge the bettor continue to play. Once you fold you become the official shuffler and are not allowed to play another hand. We had already been through several hands, a couple in which we got to bet. I had a pair of jacks the first hand but did not get trips (three of a kind) on the draw so I didn’t win the hand. My buddy J opened up the betting on this hand I’m about to describe. So we all know he has Jacks or better. He discards 2 cards. 2 cards. What’s he thinking? He did this on the previous hand of which he opened and when called he did not have trips. Why keep that extra card that isn’t matched? Odds will tell you to discard all but your pair in hopes of getting trips. Was he trying to bluff us into thinking he already had trips? Yup. So I had a pair of sixes and I get my three cards and lo and behold I get my third 6. I’m pretty sure J didn’t have trips to start so I bet him. It comes down to me and him and we raise each other for a while. The pot is quite big. there are unlimited raises head on head for the last bet. I notice he’s being quite smug and so I stop the bleeding and call. He has a full house, Aces full of Jacks. I’m shocked. “Did you have trip aces and pick up a pair of Jack’s” I ask? “Nope”, he smiles. “I had a pair of jacks I held the ace and picked up a pair of aces.” I hate him.
I’m very hungover right now and a little dejected. It’s all I can write for now. The game was at my house so it’s kind of a recipe for disaster for me. I don’t have to drive so I drink too much and for too long. But, God it’s fun.
Sorry to bore those of you who don’t like cards or even those of you who do.
I like cards but I can’t imagine ever telling anyone how I caught a full house even if it’s the last hand of the evening even for low stakes amongst friends. It’s just habit, I suppose.
The Matt Damon answer from Rounders: “I really don’t remember”.
Ya know, if bloggers followed Lesson #1 our blogs would dry up and blow away in the wind.
Nonsense, drunken blogging at 4am is the *best* time to blog.
Now that you’re sober, David………do you still love me?
Holy crap, that’s a complicated game. Especially drunk at 3 in the morning. I’d say something about overly-complicated poker variants being for wussies, but then, I sometimes drink strawberry-flavored beer, so maybe I should just let it go. ;-)
I’m sure Bill would be with me on one thing, though. If you’re going play an absurdly complicated game, don’t go halfway. You might as well go all out and play “Fizzbin”:
http://www.fortunecity.com/tattooine/bester/101/fizzbin.html
I love you more Alex. It’s me I hate…and my poker friends.
Okay, but WTF is a sensible person doing playing poker for real money when they’re drunk?
I guess you never said you were a sensible person.
I hope you stay on even after Sheila comes back, David.
David, I left you a love note in the post comments below. PS Alex, I love you, too!!!!!!
Lotta love in this room.
See. That’s why they don’t run horses at 3 am. Drunk horseplayers are really ugly. They yell at jockeys and stuff.
David –
If you guys ever need an extra player, drop me an email. I’m in Hoboken, love poker, I’m terrible (this means you get to take my money), and I have a good name.
I yell at jockeys during the first beer, especially Galyn Mitchell (sp?). He’s a local jockey who I have seen twice fall off his mount coming out of the gate. Both times I had money on ’em. Not ever again.
Yeah. Jockeys who fall off can really ruin your day.