January 2019 Viewing Diary

Q and A (1990; d. Sidney Lumet)
I closed out 2018 with North Dallas Forty, which inspired me to 1. write a post about Nick Nolte’s vulnerability and launch a little unofficial Nick Nolte retrospective. I will be a broken record, but Nolte goes deeper than most actors do. It’s not just about the surface transformations. It goes deeper than that. Such depth is usually accompanied by torment. You can’t go as deep as he does without being affected on a personal level. He’s one of the best there is. Casting Timothy Hutton as a New York Irish-American from a big Irish-American cop family was … a stretch.

Communion (2019; d. Anna Zamecka)
I loved this documentary, a first film from Polish filmmaker Zamecka. I reviewed for Ebert.

The Prince of Tides (1991; d. Barbra Streisand)
He’s so fantastic in this. It’s such a layered performance (and also couldn’t be more different than Q and A, filmed right before it). He plays a deep man who has chosen to live high up on the surface, to avoid the trauma/pain of his past. I also love Nolte as a leading man, as a romantic figure.

Affliction (1997; d. Paul Schrader)
I saw this one in the movie theatre and it depressed and distressed me so much I’ve never seen it since. So that’s … what … 20 years now. I popped it in with a sense of foreboding. I was mainly thinking about the tooth-pulling scene – which is just as awful as I remembered it, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the screen, because I wanted to observe him, I wanted to watch him go where the character goes in that moment. This is one of his most uncompromising performances. It’s devastating. It’s just … wreckage. A human wreck. Ruined by violence, a very male story. The abuse of little boys turning men into … this. Russell Banks’ subject matter: generations of abuse. Nick Nolte embodies it. Just a reminder to everyone who actually thinks the Oscars indicate actual WORTH: Roberto Benigni won Best Actor in 1997.

Afterglow (1997; d. Alan Rudolph)
Nick Nolte and Alan Rudolph have had a very fruitful collaboration! This is a really interesting movie. Julie Christie is lovely and sad. Haunted. A cousin to Don’t Look Now, the beautiful wife living in the past, cut off from the present. Lara Flynn Boyle is funny and almost screwball. And Nolte is just gorgeous. He sleeps with everybody but … he does so in a way that makes it seem friendly, not pathological. He’s providing a service, a necessary service. Not too many actors could make that work.

Warrior (2011; d. Gavin O’Connor)
Nick Nolte acts those two talented younger actors off the screen. He obliterates them, and makes it seem like they are working on a very shallow level (which neither of them are. It’s just the contrast.) There’s one moment where he calls out to Tom Hardy, “It’s okay, son!” and I burst into tears. Pain and regret and loss are not just etched into his face, but into his spirit and soul.

Fearless (1993; d. Peter Weir)
One of my faves. I’ve watched it many many times since I first saw it in the movie theatre, and every time it seems like a different movie. I take this movie very VERY personally, so depending where I’M at, the movie itself seems to change.

Moneyball (2011; d. Bennett Miller)
I love this movie. I love its obsessive quality. I love it because it is romantic and not romantic about baseball. I reviewed for Capital New York (now Politico).

Touch Me Not (2019; d. Adina Pintilie)
This was a bit of a bore. I hate saying that but it’s the truth. I say it knowing that stuff about sex is – of course – going to be totally subjective. I say that in my review too.

Cape Fear (1991; d. Martin Scorsese)
This movie is as disturbing – in its way – as the original, and even more so in other ways, since the family is shown as deeply fractured and already weakened when the predator comes along. Mom is restless and pissed off. Dad is too. The marriage is clearly on the rocks. Daughter is so hormonal she can barely stand still. She is quite literally out of control with hormonal-girl-lustiness. And yet she’s still a child. It’s a superstorm of fucked-up-ness. (In the original, everything’s hunky-dory at home.) So. Scorsese throws in all these rifts. The fact that Nick Nolte can play a man who feels emasculated is evidence alone of his gigantic talent. Same year as The Prince of Tides. He’s a wonder.

The Invisibles (2019; d. Claus Räfle)
An interesting film telling the stories of 4 of the 7,000 Jews who hid in Berlin from 1943 until the end of the war. I reviewed for Ebert.

Downton Abbey, Season 1, episodes 1, 2
I began a re-watch and then got sidetracked. I watched the show religiously for a while and then lost track of it in its later seasons. Eventually I will rectify since I like this cast so much.

Sounder (1972; d. Martin Ritt)
A favorite. I have a very strong memory of this film from when I was a kid, which I’ll share a little bit later.

Lorenzo’s Oil (1992; d. George Miller)
This movie is excellent. I saw it in the theatre when it first came out. I have since watched it many times. There is something very satisfying in its arc: these two people who decide to teach themselves what they need to learn in order to come up with solutions for their son. Neither character is particularly “likable”. And being “likable” is beside the point with most good acting. I am so disheartened to see so much criticism focusing on whether or not characters are likable. It’s very weak. Lady Macbeth isn’t “likable” but she’s a great character. At any rate: one of the things I keep forgetting about this film is Miller’s work. It’s quite distinctive. This is not a “paint by numbers” approach. His angles are stark and dramatic. They literally call attention to themselves. It’s fascinating work from Miller, and gives the story more “oomph” than your basic Illness-of-the-Week melodrama. And then … there’s this moment. Each time I see it, I forget it is coming. Each time I see it, I am in awe of him.

Surviving R Kelly (2019)
This was a very tough watch. I had to force myself to finish it.

Dirty John (2018)
This whole thing was fascinating. I read the initial piece in the LA Times and got very sucked into the story of this predator psycho who infiltrated this family, via an extremely naive woman. The mini-series could have been melodramatic, dumb, surface-level, expected, etc. Instead, there were really good performances from Connie Britton and Eric Bana, as well as Juno Temple (so good) and Julia Garner. Plus Jean Smart is fantastic in her small role. Allison and I watched it together, stopping to discuss. One of the things about this kind of story is the reactions, people so often say “I would have totally noticed all the red flags right away.” Well, aren’t you lucky to be so well-adjusted! THAT BEING SAID, this woman is really something else, man. She had been married 4 times or whatever and still spoke like a schoolgirl about finding “the one.” She was a romantic, she was “swept off her feet.” In other words: she was prey. And maybe you’ve never been prey to being prey … good for you. I’ve been tricked a couple of times. You know why? Because I’m fucking lonely. If you don’t understand that? Count your lucky stars that you haven’t been warped by loneliness. And maybe try to understand what it might be like for the rest of us. THAT BEING SAID: This guy was being so freaky and scary to her daughters … and her “Oh well, I deserve this, I’m having Me Time” is less understandable or forgivable. There are many lines you do not cross. If you do or say anything – even the SLIGHTEST thing – against my family, I will cut you off completely. It’s happened before. But for whatever reason, those boundaries did not exist for this woman. As you can see, I was totally fascinated by the whole thing. And I love watching things with Allison because we have great discussions about it. This was really good. The acting is really really good. It’s so disturbing.

The Heiresses (2019; d. Marcelo Martinessi)
I loved this movie! I reviewed for Ebert.

Diner (1982; d. Barry Levinson)
It’s been a long time. It still works. It always works.

Performance (1970; d. Nicolas Roeg)
I had a blast participating in a QA after the screening of Performance at the IFC Center. I wrote the obituary for Roeg in the current Film Comment magazine.

Yentl (1983; d. Barbra Streisand)
Streisand showed an early cut of Yentl to Steven Spielberg for his comments and feedback. All he said was, “Don’t change a frame.” He was right.

Deadwood, Season 2 final 6 episodes
The LANGUAGE. How does one even BEGIN to speak that language and make it sound real? Or as real as that language is supposed to sound? There are so many intersecting stories and characters that there are times when I feel literally dazzled by what’s going on onscreen. It’s too much to take in. Plus, the mise-en-scene itself. The town growing like a diseased mushroom. It feels like in every shot another building heaves itself up out of the mud. The level of detail onscreen is just awe-inspiring. I have my favorites. I fluctuate in my crushes. I have a huge crush on Charlie Utter, I’ll just say that right NOW. I want him and Joanie to have a happy ending, but I know that probably isn’t in the cards, but DON’T TELL ME. I love Richardson so much. Every time I see him, I start laughing. William Sanderson is such a brilliant actor I don’t even know what to do with myself. Huge crush on Silas Adams too. So many crushes, so little time. Poor Mr. Ellsworth. The costumes are also fascinating. I’m watching them develop and morph too. In the first season, everything was dark, greys and blacks. Now in Season 2, things are changing. We’ve got purple velvet, and sky-blue silks and orange silk vests. I’m loving it and I’m sorry that it will soon be over. As of this coming Thursday I will have watched the whole series – in preparation for the upcoming movie.

The TAMI Show (1964; d. Steve Binder)
One of the best concert films of all time. I discussed it enthusiastically on the Film Comment podcast.

Sign o’ the Times (1987; d. Prince)
Another film we discussed on said podcast. A classic. Unless you were there, it is hard to express what it felt like when Prince suddenly “arrived.” He arrived at just the right time for me. A couple years earlier I was still listening to show tunes and not interested in pop music. I might have missed it. By the time Purple Rain came along, I was IN. And he literally took over. This is another great great concert film, capturing Prince’s “act” – in all its extraordinary power. “The Cross” … goosebumps. Overhead shots of Sheila E. – STUNNING.

Dirty John: The Dirty Truth (2019)
Okay, fine, I’m obsessed. I also listened to the podcast.

Fyre Fraud (2019; d. Jenner Furst, Julia Willoughby Nason)
Talk about obsessed. I was obsessed with this story – like millions of others – as it unfolded. Now we have not one, but TWO, documentaries about it, both of them released in the same week. I am now disappointed that two more weren’t released the following week, and etc. I want more. The story dovetails with many of my interests, mainly grifts, cons, Ponzi schemes, compulsive liars, speculative bubbles, there’s “no there there”, and all the rest. I think the Netflix doc is better, but both are fascinating.

Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (2019; d. Chris Smith)
Billy McFarland is interviewed in this one, and his behavior is nearly as sketchy as Chris Watts’, although not murderous. The blinking. The dry mouth. Watching him in action in happier days it is amazing to think that ANYONE thought he was credible. He operated in a bubble of surface-hype, and in that bubble things clearly looked very differently. Also, I have almost no FOMO. I’m too old for FOMO.

Dead of Winter, Season 1, episode 1 “The Empty Chair” (2019)
April Wolfe, a film/TV critic, mentioned this approvingly on Twitter so I thought I would check it out. Yes, this series – about crimes that happened in the “dead of winter” – is excellent. Not your average CSI/Investigation Discovery. The re-enactments here were sensitively used, and the stories they’ve dredged up are quite horrifying. I’ll definitely watch more.

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 10, “Nihilism” (2019; d. Amanda Tapping)
That’s more like it. Still too much Castiel! Get out of the way so I CAN SEE SAM PLEASE KTHXBAI. Also: I am really done with the slo-mo. Slo-mo wrecks the moment. Pamela clearly could have caught that gun, and it would be a much more exciting moment seeing it unfold in real time. These details matter.

Twin Peaks: The Return, episode 1 “Part 1” (2017; d. David Lynch)
I was just saying on Twitter last week that this series helped me get through 2017. And I needed a lot of help. When it was over, I felt bereft, like “What am I supposed to do now?” It’s SO good. SO weird and rich and … ITSELF. You never ever knew what would happen from one moment to the next. It enveloped you in its own rules. No matter my expectations, the show did its own thing. Part of the fun of it, and the catharsis of it, was how much it required me to “let go.” 2017 was terrible. 2018 was worse. But in the middle of all that stress, was this weekly show – where everyone had to tune in at the same time, just like in the old days – where you had no idea what was coming, and you had to relax into it, it was okay to let go. I don’t think I’ve even fully processed how much it meant to me, how INTO. IT. I even was. So I thought, Let’s go back and watch it.

Twin Peaks: The Return, episode 2 “Part 2” (2017; d. David Lynch)
So in love with it. Having so much fun submitting again. It’s all about submission.

Twin Peaks: The Return, episode 3 “Part 3” (2017; d. David Lynch)
I swoon into the dream of this episode. I am grateful that it exists.

Abducted in Plain Sight (2019; d. Skye Borgman)
This is one of the most fucked-up upsetting things I’ve ever seen. It’s EXCELLENT but I literally could not sleep after watching it. I highly recommend it, but with every trigger warning possible attached to it. I myself could have used some. I wished I was watching it with Allison so at least I wasn’t all by myself.

Eighth Grade (2018; d. Bo Burnham)
I reviewed for Ebert, loved it. It was fun to re-visit. The scene between her and her father at the very end just killed me. Very emotional film.

Life Support (2019; d. Larry Clarke)
This is my friend Larry’s wonderful movie (he wrote/directed/starred). Release date TBD. I wrote about it here.

Mad Men, Season 1
This is comfort food for me.

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019; d. Joe Berlinger)
I am so glad I “got into” serial killers and psycho killers and mass murderers and psychopaths long before the Internet came along to concern-troll everyone for having such interests. If you haven’t been following all the “why is everyone interested in Ted Bundy” so-called “think”-pieces, consider yourself lucky. My God, what a bunch of busybodies. “It’s disturbing that you are so into this, and it’s disturbing that you are into this in this particular way.” Mind your beeswax. Jeez Louise. What is more interesting than the human mind, and how it operates when it’s working well, and how it operates when it’s NOT working well? I had no idea there were so many bossy people in the world who wanted to tell everyone else what to be interested in and why until the Internet came along. Rant over. Bundy fascinates for many reasons. He’s a black hole. What really struck me watching this was how much of a chameleon he was. People go on about him being “good-looking” – and I guess objectively I can see it? He’s so not my type that I have zero attraction to him on a pheromonal level. But what’s interesting about this is that even with the “good looks” there was something BLANK about him, and that blank-ness meant he looked almost like a totally different person in every single picture taken of him. There was something nondescript about him. A cipher. This became a problem when people tried to describe him to the police. He literally would part his hair a different way, and he looked like an entirely different person. Creepy. There was no essential “self” there. Here I am watching it on my laptop, with Hope not really letting me.

Johnny Handsome (1989; d. Walter Hill)
I’m thinking of doing something on this movie. Hadn’t seen it in years. There’s a kind of funny story here. When I was researching my Mickey Rourke piece (the first piece I wrote that got any traction, and it got tons of traction. IMDB linked to it on their main page), I watched Johnny Handsome and wrote a brief post on my site, saying I hadn’t seen the movie before, and etc. One of my ex-boyfriends emailed me immediately saying “I cannot believe that you don’t remember that I showed you this movie. I made you watch it.” Oops.

July and Half of August (2016; d. Brandeaux Tourville)
Sometimes it’s fun to go and watch my movie again.

Daughter of Mine (2019; d. Laura Bispuri)
I reviewed for Ebert.

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 11 “Damaged Goods” (2019; d. Philip Sgriccia)
Supernatural has not been itself since the end of Season 11. It was just renewed for Season 15. Season 12 was a travesty. Season 13 was off-and-on, but the main issue is that it just didn’t feel like “the show” anymore. Something essential had been drained out of it. It didn’t remember what it used to be, its origins. It’s been painful and alienating. But I can’t stop watching. I know many people who have stopped watching. “Nihilism” felt different, mainly because it was INTERESTED in the interior lives of the two leads. I mean, the fact that this is even missing – that the show forgets that the interior lives of Sam and Dean are the only game in town … is evidence of how far the show has fallen. But then came “Damaged Goods” which REALLY felt like a true “return to form.” I watched it with a dawning sense of wonder. They allowed the guys to be awkward again! They allowed them to engage with each other in ways that felt new. Or at least ALIVE. What the hell are we even DOING here if we aren’t interested in the inner lives of Sam and Dean? Ya got me. This was in a really sweet spot for me.

Sworn Virgin (2015; d. Laura Bispuri)
I watched this in preparation for Daughter of Mine, which I was reviewing for Ebert. This is a fascinating movie about the “sworn virgins of Albania” (look it up). A woman decides to live as a man, basically to escape the brutal conditions of women. She vows to remain celibate. This is the story of one of those women. Alba Rohrwacher is an amazing actress, and is having a hell of a couple of years (look her up on IMDB).

Mad Men, season 2, 3
Comfort food. I love these characters so much. They’re all so messed up.

Supernatural, Season 14, episode 12 “Prophet and Loss” (2019; d. Thomas J. Wright)
Dare I hope? The film-maker buff inside me was so pleased with the look of this episode, an underwater murky green. Except for a couple of scenes, the entire thing took place in this burbly murky greenish light, and it was gorgeous. The show has been so ugly looking I notice when someone over there gives a shit about beauty! Also, this is 3 for 3, as far as I’m concerned. 3 episodes in a row that focused on the right things. No more hunter-refugees who I don’t care about, Castiel in his proper place as support staff – not having his own little arcs all over the place made up entirely of giving Jack pep talks (don’t they realize how repetitive they’re getting with this stuff??) … and also Jack not present. I like Jack. But he’s becoming a liability too. EVERYONE is a liability if the main characters aren’t invested in. If Sam and Dean are not invested in – then who cares about anything else? Thomas Wright did a beautiful job here. The opening scene was terrifying, a living nightmare. And a flashback to the opening of Season 4. I’m really liking where everything is going right now. I am sure they will fuck it all up somehow, but let me have this moment of joy.