Summing Up
The show premiered in 2005. I didn’t start watching until late October of 2013. 3 episodes into Season 9 is when I started watching from the beginning. The show had been going on for 8 years when I jumped into the raging river of it. Like most people, I discovered it and then binge-watched the entire thing in a month or so. If I recall, the entire thing was on Netflix at the time. I went into a fugue state of binge-watching. 9 seasons is a lot to absorb. I had a lot of catching up to do, before I could join the current season. I’ve been watching ever since.
They just announced that the next season, season 15, will be the last.
I have always wanted to describe the path that led me to watching this show. No time like the present.
This Is Going to Be Convoluted. Keep Up.
Over 20 years ago, there was a semi-scandal in the Lord of the Rings fandom. I am not going to name names but all of this will be easily discoverable. Briefly, a certain individual basically ran a cult, a “Hobbit cult,” claiming he was channeling cast members, as well as fictional characters. No harm no foul, except for the people trapped in this cult (the stories are terrible). So into LOTR was this person, that he created a charity, looping in some actual cast members to participate. A big “con” was planned, with this person heading it up. However, the “con” failed, with two cast members stranded at the airport from New Zealand, having to crash on the sofa of the “hobbit cult” headquarters (you can’t even make this stuff up), with no “con” to speak of. The person in charge, the cult leader, had bilked a lot of $ from someone, who charged all this stuff on her credit card. She wrote a book about her experience. Learning about this individual is a deep deep hobbit hole. Somehow, this cult came on my radar around 2006. I’m interested in cults of personality, and this one was a doozy. One of his main victims wrote a series of essays of her experience in thrall to him, and her blog continues to be a regular pit-stop for me. She’s an excellent writer and thinker, also excellent on how mind control works. She may have been how he initially came on my radar, since her words were so compelling. Turns out, the LOTR cult was just the tip of the iceberg. This individual has been rampaging through fandoms for 20, 25 years now, leaving a swath of drama behind him in each fandom. What happens is, is he blazes into the fandom with a sense of entitlement and “insider knowledge,” he writes extremely detailed fanfic, which morphs into gigantic encyclopediac alternate versions of reality. After LOTR, he moved onto Harry Potter, writing a gigantic TOME, which had its own fan base, which in turn became a kind of cult. This person would “channel” different characters. Anyway, you get the idea. Once the LOTR shitshow (articles have been written about this) went down, I started keeping my eye on this individual. I was fascinated by his online persona, which was so … obnoxious, and verbose, and know-it-all-ish, and seemed to naturally attract followers, especially the credulous, sweet, and kind-hearted members of fandom. He has done a lot of damage. He had a hugely popular Tumblr (it no longer exists), and there are many sites out there – one in particular – devoted to tracking his movements, basically to warn others. He has been run out of fandom on a rail. Repeatedly. The most recent upset happened last summer.
Okay, so you got all that?
I “followed” him, checking in on his Tumblr from time to time. I watched as he moved from fandom to fandom. I believe this person – working under another name – first appeared in the Due South fandom. Multiple names, aliases, disguises, phony backstories have always been utilized. It’s a hall of mirrors. He went around for a couple of years pretending he was Irish, pretending he had fought in the IRA. He appeared as a guest on a Harry Potter fandom radio-show, speaking in a HORRIBLE Irish accent, and yet … nobody questioned it.
Then Hobbit Cult Leader Got into Supernatural
So at some point in around 2012, I started seeing more posts about something called “Supernatural” on this person’s Tumblr. And my God, what posts. Lengthy, dazzlingly articulate, but with a bossy “I know how stories work, I know what they’re really doing, listen to me, follow me, young credulous fans, I know the score” kind of tone. I admit it, it was addictive. I had no idea what “Supernatural” even was. The show was not on my radar at ALL. I had no idea who “Jensen” was, or “Jared” or “Misha” –
and made no attempt to research it. I was more fascinated by this person’s investment in it. A part of me understood what I was seeing. I watched this person go from such in-depth Harry Potter fandom that he went on a radio show pretending to have an Irish accent … to dropping Harry Potter (after being run out of his own fandom-cult, due to people complaining about his abuse) entirely and moving onto the next thing … which was Supernatural. I understood this cycle. I go through it myself. I watched it occur on this person’s Tumblr, going, “Oh. Okay. Yesterday he was an expert in Harry Potter, so much so that he DISSED JK Rowling … HIS fanfic was better than hers … and today he’s an expert in some other thing called Supernatural … and wow, I do this too. I get it.”
I read all of his Supernatural posts, without looking into the source material. I was fascinated by what I was reading. The lead character was named Dean, whom this individual called homophobic, a man trapped in toxic masculinity, clearly gay underneath, sleeping with women as a front, tormented, misogynistic, a real “bro” and etc. I accepted all of this. Eventually, the posts morphed into something else: why something called Destiel was canon.
Because I didn’t watch the show, I assumed Destiel was a character. So Destiel was … gay, apparently. Like Dean was gay. Only, according to cult-leader, the show-runners were homophobic (boy, did Hobbit-Cult-Guy come across like someone who actually worked in a writer’s room in the business). I was like, “Oh, okay, so the Destiel character is gay but the show won’t admit it, or something, okay.”
I was very confused. But I found this person’s constant – and when I say constant, I mean constant, I mean he was literally never offline – posts on Destiel, and how it was “canon” and he had scenes to back it up, moments, quotes at cons, the whole thing – very engrossing. I still knew that this person had done horrible things, and he was extremely obnoxious, and the way he talked about “Misha” like he knew him personally, I remember thinking, “I hope Misha has a security detail because this person is … unhinged.”
But for whatever reason, none of this made me decide to check out Supernatural. I was more interested in the reactions, and the reactions I was reading was all in this “Destiel” grouping. I followed the Tumblr links. They were all Destiel tumblrs. I know it’s hard to believe that I didn’t pick up on what Destiel actually was, but I didn’t. The way it was referenced, it was like a single character, and the show was sci-fi, or sci-fi-ish, so someone could conceivably be named Destiel. I was interested in this person’s reactions to “masculinity” … although so often reading his stuff made me think, “Do you actually KNOW any men? Because your stereotypes are super broad. A man wearing flannel and work boots and fucking a woman isn’t automatically misogynistic, and if you knew any actual men you’d know that.”
None of this is meant as a dis on “Destiel” fans. Or Destiel. I don’t judge how other people get into things. Whatever floats your boat. Buried eroticism and repressed sexual impulses is part of the pool in which this show swims. But in this essay, I’m just trying to describe how it was that these Destiel-Tumblrs worked in my own discovery of Supernatural, and how I put all the pieces together, and what led me to finally discover for myself what the fuss was about.
Then Came Episode 3 of Season 9 and the Shit Hit the Fan
On October 22, 2013, episode 3 of season 9 aired. Since I didn’t watch the show, I had no idea what happened, but when I went to check my Destiel tumblrs, I found that people had lost their minds. People were FURIOUS. They went APE. SHIT. People were Tweeting at show-runners, saying they were sobbing, saying they felt erased, “how could you, how could you, how could you” – this is not an exaggeration. People were writing long raging posts on their Tumblrs, linking to one another, “trauma” was mentioned constantly, it was a shitshow of EPIC proportions. I read, agog. I was not making fun. These people were truly upset. They felt personally betrayed. Many of these Destiel Tumblr people were extremely articulate, and I read their posts, and still didn’t understand much of what was going on. The person I mentioned above always positioned himself as the “calm cool head of reason,” racing into upsets like this, lecturing everyone on how stories operated, and “never fear, Destiel is still canon.” People clung to his words. “Why do you think so??” He wrote thousands of words about why. He liked to be an expert. IN fandom but ABOVE it, if you get my drift.
This shit-show was the final straw for me. I HAD to know what these people were talking about.
I wasn’t like “Jeez Louise, everybody calm down”. I wasn’t in the fandom. That’s not my position at all. Telling other people to calm down is not my thing. Now that I’ve SEEN the show, I have feelings about all of that, as well as the responses to episode 3 of season 9, and can weigh in with my own “take.” But also: these people were legitimately upset, for their own reasons. I get it. At the time, I was so fascinated by this response – these shrieks of rage pouring out of Tumblr – I finally was like, “Okay, fuck sitting on the sidelines, I have GOT to know what these people are upset about.”
The problem was: I had 8 seasons to get through before I could put into context the weepings and wailings of the Destiel tumblrs. Was there any way for me to just watch episode 3 of Season 9 and understand why they were so upset? I figured: No. There is no way. I gotta at least watch a couple of episodes from season 1 to get more background.
My thought was: This is a fascinating situation, this eruption of fandom (and I had also read enough to know that there were wars in the fandom, sharp delineations between the Destiel Tumblrs I followed and everybody else. These wars were vicious. So I knew that the Destiel people’s howls of despair about episode 3 of season 9 were not shared by the rest of the fandom, and were also mocked by many members of the fandom.) It was hugely complex and in order to understand it I’d need to watch myself. I thought I would like to write something about it. (Ha. Look at what has happened.) My initial idea, though, was to write something about fandom and how Tumblr operated as an alternate universe to the actual show actually unfolding. But in order to write something about the Supernatural fandom, then clearly I would need to, you know, WATCH Supernatural.
October 2013: Initial Reactions
I thought it was good. But I was slightly confused. The main characters were “Dean” and “Sam” and okay, I had heard about them on the Tumblrs. But there was no “Misha” so I wondered when Misha would show up. And I also wondered when “Destiel” the character would show up, so I could get cracking on my article about the Destiel-fandom. Oh, Sheila.
I liked the pilot a lot. I loved how dark it was.
The two lead guys were so gorgeous it hurt to look at them. I wondered though how long it would take for me to understand why everyone was flipping out about episode 3 of season 9, so I could write my article.
The second episode was okay. Didn’t really make much of an impression.
The third episode was when I felt some familiar … stirrings. Stirrings of personal investment. A layer of complexity was added to what I was seeing. There was a mournfulness in episode 3 that I responded to, a deepening of this Dean character.
(Meanwhile, by the way, I’m comparing what I’m seeing to the Hobbit-Cult-Leader’s descriptions on the Tumblr, and I was like, “Wow, this show really must go through a serious change at some point, if this Dean guy is going to transform into a homophobic macho misogynist.”)
Then came episode 4. Not a great episode, but it was when Jensen Ackles suddenly became revealed to me. As well as the weird undercurrents of the show. First off, there was the camera pan up his sleeping body as his brother stared at him in the doorway. I thought, “What. the HELL. is THAT about.” But then there was the whole Burlesque of Dean being terrified to fly, and it was like a curtain was drawn back. Ackles had been wise-cracking in the pilot and the second episode, and yes, he was beautiful to look at, but nothing really struck me about him. The third episode deepened the character and I saw his sensitivity. So, okay. I’m investing. But then, showing that he could be funny too – in a really broad way – and poke fun at himself – forget it.
It was episode 4 where I was like, “Okay. That’s it. I’m in. I’m watching for ME now.”
I began a binge-watch, realizing eventually that Destiel was not a character, but a mash-up of Dean and the angel Castiel. Everything started to make sense. I laughed at myself for not getting it. The reaction to Episode 3 of season 9 now made sense. I am not a Destiel person, although I don’t think it flat out doesn’t exist. Like I’ve said, I think Dean is sexually available to pretty much anyone and anything, inanimate objects included. He’s equal opportunity. But it did strike me that I had only been reading Destiel tumblrs. Castiel doesn’t even show up until Season 4. As far as they were concerned, episode 1 of Season 4 was basically the pilot. I had been introduced to the show through a very skewed lens and it was fun to discover what else was there.
I don’t say “skewed” to mean “wrong.” Just that it was an extremely slanted take, and I didn’t recognize the show at ALL compared to all the shit I had read about it, and so it was a blast to clear everything away and see what was there for me, without all of these other interpretations.
I have the Destiel fans to thank for me deciding to watch the show in the first place. So if I’ve never said it: THANK YOU. And I am sorry for the trauma of episode 3 of season 9, but it was your howls of outrage that made me finally get cracking. I am grateful.
And, really, the weirdness is that the genesis of all this for me was when some crackpot formed a Hobbit Cult in the early 2000s and pissed off/hurt so many people that blogs are devoted to his exploits to this day. His victims are legion. So he’s really the reason – in a roundabout convoluted way – why I started watching.
Slight Personal Backstory, to Provide Context, and Having Nothing To Do with Hobbit Cults
I was diagnosed bipolar in early 2013. I had spent the year before in a haze of what I now see as mania. Mania is productive though. Don’t let anyone tell you different. But a crash was coming. The crash came around my birthday in November 2012. I was still writing on my site this whole entire time. If you look at the posts moving into the fall of 2012, they become extremely alarming. Or, they’re alarming to me anyway. After a series of increasingly violent crackups, in November, then December, then January … I was forced into treatment, and got diagnosed. The same day I got diagnosed, Roger Ebert emailed me asking me to write for his site.
Then came a time of change and recovery. Learning how to be well. Working with doctors. Trying to calm down.
It was a very tough year, 2013. But a good year too.
On the flip side, though, I was afraid to even look at or think about Elvis. He seemed so attached to my sickness, I was afraid. If I listened to Elvis, or watched his movies, I was afraid I would slip into being sick again. It was devastating, because he’s always been such a comfort. I felt adrift. I was afraid I’d never be able to love Elvis again, the way I had before. (Now I know better. But in 2013, that was not at all clear.)
Fast-Forwarding Yet Again to October/November 2013
It was into this environment that episode 3 of season 9 of Supernatural aired, the outraged response to which made me watch the pilot.
After episode 4 in Season 1 of Supernatural, I knew I was in for a huge binge-watch, but now … post-2012, and weaning myself off of Elvis … I wasn’t sure if I even should. If it was allowed. The first day I saw the doctor at the mood clinic, I had refused to take off my winter coat. Just to let him know I could walk out at any time. I had said to him, furiously, “If you tell me I’m not allowed to listen to Elvis anymore … or that I’m not allowed to get obsessed with things anymore … you and I are done.” Loving things is how I get through life, it’s how I survived being so sick for so long. He said to me, totally calm, thick Italian accent, “My darling, when you get well you will be able to love these things even more and be more productive in your response to them.” I did not believe him. (He was right.)
Supernatural was going to be a test. I failed at first. My obsession took over my life. I was watching it all day, when I could. I wasn’t so obsessed I wanted to run out and form a Hobbit cult, but I was VERY into it. It was filling a void. I KNEW it was filling a void, this is how I operate, but it made me uneasy. I was very very committed to managing my illness. I had changed my whole entire life so that I could try to reverse the damage that has been done. I slept 8 hours a night. I exercised. I sat in the sunshine for vitamin D purposes. I turned off the computer. I cut out sugar and alcohol. But suddenly Supernatural arrived and it felt like it was heroin being offered to me after being clean for a short time. I didn’t know how to be obsessed while also being mentally stable. It didn’t seem possible.
I threw caution to the wind. I was pissed. Everybody ELSE gets to binge-watch things without fear of hospitalization. Why can’t I?
But I was recognizing certain signs. Nervousness. Irritability. Recklessness. So I came clean to my doctor and told him what was happening with Supernatural. This was around December of 2013. All he said was (nothing throws him): “Only watch two episodes a day.” That didn’t seem achieveable in my current state, but I was so frightened of getting as sick as I was in 2012 (and 2009, let’s not forget) that I obeyed him. I cut my viewing down to two episodes a day. And Supernatural took on its proper size. I stopped feeling nervous and irritable. I started just enjoying the show. It was so much pleasure and I had been avoiding pleasure for a year, afraid of pleasure. But this was pleasurable and it was okay!
Forget About Manipulative Abusive Hobbits, Now I’m Into the Show All On My Own
I started to feel like I wanted to write something about the show. Not about the fandom. I was done with that idea. I thought I might have something to add to the rhetoric. I thought I had something to say, that my take was worth sharing. Part of it was in reaction to a lot of the stuff I had read on Destiel Tumblrs (again, no diss on Destiel! I’m not saying I’m right – just that my take is my take), and my thoughts on sex and personae and burlesque and erotic muses – a lot of which I wasn’t seeing expressed in said Tumblrs. I thought maybe it would be fun to try to put it into words.
But I was afraid. I didn’t know if I was ready to launch myself full-throttle into an obsession. I didn’t feel strong enough yet.
That post – not even a post at all – just a picture and a headline – was all I could handle at the time.
Amazingly – (not amazing now, but it was then) – that picture/headline generated over 50 comments.
I still wasn’t done with my binge-watch, and now that I had been forced to only watch two episodes a day, my pace had really slowed down. I still didn’t know what was so outrageous about episode 3 of season 9, but I found I had a TON to say about Jensen Ackles, and I figured, let me work on a piece about it. Let me focus on the comedy element. (That was another thing about the Tumblrs I read: just going off the Tumblr content, you would think this was the most serious show ever created. You’d never ever know it was often very funny.) I wanted to focus on Ackles’ weirdo gift/feel for comedy, using as my launching-off point the “Don’t objectify me” exchange from “Red Sky at Morning.”
Working as calmly as I could, doing only a little bit a day, not over-taxing myself, not allowing myself to go into a fugue state, I finally published this piece on Jensen Ackles and schtick.
A piece like that is my version of putting a flag on a hill. Not to own it. Because nobody owns narrative or interpretation. But to say, “Hello. I’m here. I’d like to join the conversation, please, and here is my take.”
That piece has traveled far and wide. Maybe the farthest of anything I’ve written. The response was overwhelming.
Meanwhile, I was slowly stabilizing. It took a good year to stabilize after 2012. Once I got stable, and once Supernatural took on its proper size – as just another obsession, one I wanted to write about, not something that was going to derail my life – I knew I wanted to start writing about these older episodes. Do an episode re-cap of earlier seasons. I felt ready. I thought I could handle it. I thought it would also be good for me.
Be obsessed with something but don’t let it make yourself sick. That was the challenge. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’ve gone from obsession to obsession and these obsessions have enriched my life. In many ways, these obsessions have made life worth living. I don’t say that to be ungrateful. I have amazing friends and family. But in my solitude, obsessions have helped, they have allowed me to feel things I haven’t been encouraged to feel out in the world, they help me hone my analysis skills, they provide comfort, company, the whole nine yards.
I decided to let the leash off. This post about TV pilots was the lead-up to what I wanted to do, episode re-caps of earlier seasons. I found I had a lot to say.
And, as they say in Field of Dreams, if you build it, they will come.
January 2014: The Great – In My Mind Anyway – Re-cap Project Began
I started my recaps in January of 2014 … and boy, did the people come. They’re still coming.
We have now been squatting here talking about the show for six years, although that doesn’t even seem possible.
As so many people have been saying, they found Supernatural at a dark time in their lives, and something in the show spoke to them, something about it engrossed their energies in a time they needed it. The show became a container for all kinds of personal things, where you put some dreams, or fantasies, or ideas about trauma and family … whatever, the show is flexible enough (or was) to handle all of it.
For me, one of the hooks was the humor, as I mentioned, but the other thing was the burlesque-erotic-muse-beauty aspect of it, which I have explored and developed in recap after recap. It has been so much fun. I have no idea how many words I have actually written on the show. Those re-caps are insane. I still want to get back to them at some point.
Obsessions Make Other Things Possible
Supernatural will not be the last thing I obsess over. I have been an obsessive from the earliest age. I discovered “Underdog” at age 4, and forget it, I was never the same again. But Supernatural was the first thing I allowed myself to get obsessed over after I got diagnosed. It was a risk. I thought it might be too soon. I didn’t know how to fall in love with something without getting manic, without getting sick. In some ways, my obsession WAS too soon. So much so that I confessed and told my doctor about it, and he gave me a program. “You can love the show. But you can’t watch more than two episodes a day.” I thought: Okay I can do that.
As my life went on in 2014, with crazy upheavals and my writing career really picking up speed … Supernatural became this North Star, keeping me steady. It took its proper place. It grounded me. It focused me. A lot of other things became possible because of it.
Next season will be Supernatural‘s last. It’s time. I am grateful for the show. For what it has given me.
And I still laugh at the image of clueless me scanning the cast list on IMDB for the name “Destiel.”
O my. I got hooked earlier than you did (it’s some vessel for that!), but would assuredly spend public on-line time to keep up, absent TV/cable access. Mythic, funny, Blakean/Miltonic shit will nail me every time. And, of course, the performers were great.
Then I was curious about Collins, looked him up, and – whoa – we’re fellow alumni. And then, when things needed perking up (and they did), who shows up but Eugenie Ross (w/ whom I performed at school, in *Camino Real*) as exec prod and woohoo!
Beautiful night sailing ever sonce.
Keep going! ?
Six years? I can’t believe it’s been that long. I started watching Supernatural the summer before the end of Breaking Bad. I had done a full re-watch and was looking forward to watching something lighter than BB. (Just thinking about that makes me laugh at myself) I have my own issues with obsessions; during a particularly bad time in my life I read romance novels non-stop, they were fast reads and I could immerse myself in stories of happily ever after. Anyway, I became obsessed and began reading everything online regarding SPN. Finding recaps of the early seasons was nearly impossible. I loved the AV Clubs tv recaps and discussions-someone on there recommended your site. The 1st thing I read was your essay on Jensen. I’m happy I found your site, different pov’s are accepted, the comments are for the most part very respectful. I also couldn’t believe when you replied to my first comment! I couldn’t believe you had actually read my post, lol. It’s been a journey for many of us here on your site. I hope you can continue to write your re-caps of the early seasons, but I will continue to drop in from time to time.
Kim – I know, I was like 6 years?? It feels like … 3, maybe. Tops. It’s crazy.
Many thanks to whoever recommended this site on the AV Club! It’s amazing – the fandom is small enough that word spread like wildfire. In larger fandoms that’s kind of impossible. It’s kind of a beautiful thing with SPN.
I have always enjoyed your comments!
To echo Kim’s comment, I can’t believe it’s been six years either. I can’t remember if I found your site, read the Jensen Ackles piece and then found Supernatural or whether it was the other way around. Your other writings about other things draw me in as much as your writings on Supernatural. For example, for the anniversary of 9/11, there was your essay and a series of follow up comments that I printed out to save for keepsake. Supernatural is the string that draws me to your site most days and there is always something valuable to read/learn even when I don’t agree, but I’m never bored.
Carolyn – your presence here means so much. I always love to read what you have to say, and value your perspective.
I found you through the Ebert clubhouse newsletter initially. That led me to the blog eventually. I love that the doc told you to watch only two episodes of Supernatural a day. Tools you could use and learn to trust. Major score.
Your love for the boys and their creators always makes me happy. I started watching now and then before mid 2008. Caught up by watching TNT – I love how syndicated shows were shown in order then. The early years, battling across multiple time slots and competing with Fringe for miniscule numbers of eyeballs. Both shows fighting for survival.
Never would have predicted a fifteen season run. As Buffy would say, So much juicy goodness.
Thank you for this post. Heart and soul and judgment and clarity abound.
Kathy – it must be so wild to have been watching from almost the very beginning like you have!
It’s kind of amazing to me how quickly it became such a huge part of my life.
I wonder how the experience of watching the show starting in 2005 is different from binge-watching it. I discovered it in 2014 and devoured eight seasons in less than a month. (I’m not on Twitter so didn’t know all the fandom drama.) Does allowing space in between episodes and in between seasons allow for a calming of the emotions raised while watching? (You get upset but then have a chance to calm down before you watch another episode.) Are then story arcs and character development more intense because you are watching them all at once? Or is it MORE painful to have to deal week after week with unresolved issues between the brothers? For example, I was horrified when Sam stood by and let Dean get turned by a vampire in season 6, so I just kept watching until it was revealed that he was soulless! Oh! Now I knew why he was being so heartless! How much more discomfort would I have felt had I had to wait for that resolution. Which viewer gets the clearer picture of the Winchesters: the one who has watched for over 15 years or the one who watches intensely over a significantly shorter period of time? (This, of course, doesn’t even take into account the influence of social media on both kinds of viewers.) Just wondering!
// I wonder how the experience of watching the show starting in 2005 is different from binge-watching it. //
I was just thinking this!
Okay now I have to research this Hobbit cult leader. I tend to get obsessed myself and this one has hit me hard. Before this show I was not on social media. Now I feel like I’m stalking the internet just for tidbits from the show. I found you from the old IMDB board and it was such a breath of fresh air. I felt like I found an adult area to discuss this show without all the bickering about how this character never gets a storyline or that character got 47 kills this season while this character only got one. I have loved your take on the show and all the wonderful discussions here. Thank you for giving us a place to discuss important things like teapots and Henley’s. Oh my!
// Thank you for giving us a place to discuss important things like teapots and Henley’s. //
hahahaha!! It’s been my pleasure!
Yes, the bickering of the warring factions were very off-putting to me at first and part of why I decided to just start writing about it myself. I just didn’t react to the show in that way – slanted towards one character or against another.
Hobbit Cult Leader has been wreaking havoc for 20 years! He’s still up to his old tricks only now he’s left such an internet footprint, he can’t really draw people into his web anymore. So bizarre. It’ll probably take you a couple Google hits to find him. He was even involved in a real-life murder-suicide and was shot in the ankle, partially because of his manipulations. Not that anyone deserves to be shot, of course. But he was not a blameless party. It’s fascinating and I’m glad he’s busted. I kind of wish his Tumblr was still up though because his Destiel posts were
1. incomprehensibly intricate
2. riveting
anyway – thank you for choosing to hang out here and comment and read. I truly appreciate it!!
In the UK they ran the ‘Scary just got sexy’ promo, and my partner said ‘Isn’t that your mate from Dark Angel?’ Little did he know what he was letting himself in for. We didn’t realise we had missed the pilot (not until I bought the DVDs), but watched from episode two. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t until ‘Provenance’ – the scene when Dean lies back on the bed while Sam calls Sarah – that I had a ‘Wait, this is something a bit special’ moment. For the rest of the season I taped each episode and watched it repeatedly until the next episode aired.
It’s well known that in earlier seasons we were never sure that it would be back, but at the end of season one, the uncertainty extended to who would survive the crash. I read that two Winchesters would make it – but would Dean be one of them? It seems ridiculous now, but I was so pleased that Jensen Ackles had such a good part and worried it wouldn’t last.
I have been obsessed with Supernatural since 2006 and cherish the evidence that other people appreciate it as I do. Thank you so much for the extended recaps and the pleasure of the new episode conversations.
// but it wasn’t until ‘Provenance’ – the scene when Dean lies back on the bed while Sam calls Sarah – that I had a ‘Wait, this is something a bit special’ moment. //
I love that moment!!
I can’t imagine what that first hiatus must have been like!
Thank you so much for reading here and for commenting. Loving this show and talking about this show has really enriched my life. I’m very grateful for it.
I’m another person who came to Supernatural due to a dark time. 20012, 3000 miles away from home, sick in bed, barely able to walk to the bathroom (sometimes I crawled), I couldn’t focus enough to read my normal escapist literature (all fairy tales, all the time) but I had an iPad and could stream Netflix. Primeval, Farscape, Buffy (for the umpteenth time) and then I thought, I’ll give this thing a try… I don’t even remember how it felt watching the first few episodes except that I thought both stars were gorgeous and somehow riveting because of and in spite of their physical beauty. There was something that felt real about their relationship, their way of looking at each other and really seeing the other guy instead of just riffing off of him, actually hooking into each other’s energy and emotion in a real and genuine way. “Bugs” made me question my sanity except that the funny parts were SO funny and so perfectly done…
I watched all the way through what was available back then at least twice and felt weirdly better. And I was totally hooked.
Still hooked today, read way too much fan fiction and have even written some (which is the first writing I’ve done in something like 20 years so yay, me!), but best of all I’ve made several friends who I never, ever would have met without the show. I met them because of a dear friend who, when she found out I was into the show, invited me to her email list devoted to the show and all aspects of it. When I couldn’t afford to attend a con near to me people on the list not only got me a day ticket but photo ops with the Boys. It was an amazing experience, one I’ll never forget. The generosity of my friends was deeply moving and unexpected to say the least- the genuine friendliness of Jensen and Jared during our 2-3 minutes together was even more unexpected.
That was a revelation.
They really do care, about each other, about their roles, their costars and extras, and their fans. I’m sure that’s a huge part of why the show has lasted as long as it has, despite questionable writing, venue changes and all the rest.
Anyway… somehow I stumbled onto your writing, Sheila, and I’m hooked on your stuff! Not just the Supernatural articles but your reviews of movies, other shows and other actors. I always learn so much from everything I read of yours! You’ve helped me appreciate shows and movies I love so much more through your insightful and sometimes hysterically funny writing. Thank you so much for that! And for your openness about your illness and how you’ve learned to deal with it? That’s amazing, too.
I look forward very much to anything else you write about Supernatural and its inhabitants.
LOL! “2012,” not “20012!”
Felicia – thank you so much for sharing all of this!
// When I couldn’t afford to attend a con near to me people on the list not only got me a day ticket but photo ops with the Boys. It was an amazing experience, one I’ll never forget. //
This is amazing. Hope for humanity!
Thank you so much for showing up here, for reading, for commenting. I am so glad you’ve gotten something out of those crazy re-caps – I needed to put that obsession SOMEwhere. It’s been a great gift, really. I want to get back to them.
Thank you for your comment!!
Hi Sheila … long time reader, first time commenter. But I *have* to share this. First off, I adore your entries about Supernatural and Jensen Ackles and his acting. Jared, too. I was lucky enough to be at a Jensen meet and greet during the Chicago Supernatural Convention this past weekend. And he picked me for a question. My question was: There is a film critic, Sheila O’Malley, who compares your comedy acting to Cary Grant, particularly your comedic skills. She says that it’s not only that you are reacting to the other person, but that you are reacting to the inner dialog of your character and it shows on your face—often making those the funniest moments, even more than the punchline. Is that conscious? What is your process for approaching comedic scenes?
Then he stared right at me replying and I forgot all else. :D Okay. Exaggeration, kinda. The first thing he really did is React — just like you wrote about. When I brought up the flattering comparison to Cary Grant—Jensen’s eyes widened, then he twitched his mouth, then kinda tilted his head like “hey, that’s really cool”. So basically, he responded in real life to what I said in the way he shows what Dean’s thinking/processing on the show. His reply was to say that real actors say it’s not ‘acting,’ it’s ‘reacting.’ If you read your script and decide in advance how you are going to say your lines, you’re also deciding how the other actor is delivering their lines to you, and that limits how you can react. If you go into the scene and just listen, then the way they say something might change how you say your line, or even change the line. The best actors are open to responding to the other person.
That’s a paraphrase because we are not allowed to bring anything with us–not even a pen! There are twenty people (all women this time) in a room with him in two neat curved rows. I was front row, middle right. He was about three feet or so in front of me on a tall stool. It’s like the extra cool guest lecturer at a private liberal arts college.
I hope that hearing the Cary Grant comparison makes him amenable to taking an interview with you. I’d love that so much.
SandyG – oh my God, you literally made my DAY with this comment.
This is hilarious and awesome – you are the best!! I want to buy you a thank you present for this!! You used YOUR meet and greet to ask a question based on stuff we’ve talked about here – throwing my name into the room too – !!! – I could not be more grateful, also for your excellent eye-witness observations of his reactions – AND his fantastic response!! John Wayne always said he didn’t think of himself as an ‘actor” – he thought of himself as a “RE-actor.” This is thrilling – very good work from you. Excellent question and I am sure he LOVED answering it after all the “what’s your favorite prank Jared pulled” questions (no judgment, but it does get boring, hearing the same questions asked).
I can imagine him thinking, finally, a real PROCESS question!!
I can’t thank you enough. You rock.
Sorry for the late reply. RL has been sucky of late. But a friend told me you wrote back and that made me happy. I really have loved your columns. The Supernatural ones were the first I read, but then I started browsing and learned so much. Plus the regular commenters are also so well spoken.
Please let us know if your people ever reach Jensen’s people for a proper interview!
I’m sorry RL has been sucky – here’s to better times!
Inspired by your comment, I put in another request to his person. I was like, “Hey there, member me … can we re-visit this…”
Fingers crossed.
This is hilarious and oh so relatable. I heard the same story from several other fans and then how confused they were when they started watching the show. One co-worker talked about skipping right to season four and I had an intervention with her in a cab about how she would miss so much of the story (and face imminent disappointment that the canon romance she was looking for wasn’t there).
//Hobbit-Cult-Guy// made me laugh out loud. So many meta fan writers are eloquent and know just enough about everything to draw followers in which hellooooo, cult. I still follow some of those fandom blogs because there’s always some new crazy take.
//it was filling a void. I KNEW it was filling a void// While circumstances are different, I feel you deeply with this. Supernatural grabbed me at a very vulnerable time. I’d moved to another state leaving my old friends behind and then promptly had health problems. What better time to digest eight seasons in a few weeks while snuggled under the bed covers. Consciously metering yourself with two shows a day is so smart and I’m glad it helped to balance out the obsession and the issues.
Your take in that first article on Jensen was such a breath of fresh air, a new angle that I hadn’t read before, that hit on many of the reasons I love this show. Also how you brought in the perspective and parallels from other shows and movies to place this obsession inside the greater world of entertainment gave it such color. I’ll always be grateful to find your blog because of that.
Catching up now with comments!
// I had an intervention with her in a cab about how she would miss so much of the story //
Ha! Good work!
// I still follow some of those fandom blogs because there’s always some new crazy take. //
Me too. I can’t look away! And I think it’s a good thing that these people are being exposed. Hobbit Cult Guy is unable to operate anymore since the second you Google him – or any of his MANY aliases, including that of his “evil twin” (literally) – up comes all these blogs criticizing him. It’s a good thing. Either figure out another way to engage with fandom – or take a step back.
// What better time to digest eight seasons in a few weeks while snuggled under the bed covers. //
I so get this.
People who have watched the show in real time since the beginning have such a different perspective and I am so fascinated in hearing their experiences. Binge-watching it is fantastic – but I definitely had to go back and slow myself down to pick up on the nuances. And you just can’t replicate the sensation that fans in real time must have had to the ending of Season 1. Or … my God … the final shot of Season 5.
But I did love that when I “came into” the fandom – I had a glorious 8 seasons to catch up on. Once I was hooked, it was awesome that there was so MUCH of it.
// Also how you brought in the perspective and parallels from other shows and movies to place this obsession inside the greater world of entertainment gave it such color. //
Thank you so much! That was one of the elements I missed in some of the Tumblrs I was reading – and I just really wanted to talk about it. It’s been so fun and I am so glad people have found their way here.
I love reading about everyone’s “way in”. My 1st exposure to Supernatural was in 2007 when my middle 13 yo daughter was making a birthday cake for her friend who was a “Dean girl”. I completely dismissed the show as teen girl fodder. Jump forward 6 years or so. My youngest daughter was still at home, and my oldest daughter was back home for a year of internship. At this point I was not only introduced to Supernatural, but also to the concept of streaming TV. This idea of watching what I wanted when I wanted was mind blowing and Supernatural gave THAT to me! We began watching SPN as a family because, having a child of that teen age, parents will endure just about any stupidness just to share a few minutes with your child. We also like scifi, fantasy, horror, so not a big sacrifice. She wisely suggested we start at the beginning. My oldest daughter, who was born too grown up for the immature fodder of her peers, quietly slipped in and watched with us. I should have twigged then that this was not an ordinary show. Those early eps generated some great discussion with my girls. (Hubs/Dad doesn’t like to dissect his shows.) Like you, Sheila, it was Phantom Traveller that finally sucked me in for me, not just shared family fun. Jaded by my initial exposure, I was convinced that these were just 2 pretty boys in yet another CW teen teaser show. When I saw Ackles in full blown panic attack on that plane and none of us could stop laughing I knew this was something different! The actor I thought was just another pretty face was not afraid to make himself look ridiculous and weak. This was not how teen heartthrob heroes who were always cool and saving the world (eyeroll) behaved. To quote Charlie I became a teensie bit obsessed with not only the show, but also the 2 stars. I began binging (a new experience for me) while doing laundry, washing dishes, even gardening. My tax work is seasonal so I had lots of time. I also began googling Ackles & Padalecki learning that they were becoming settled family men which did not fit my image of self absorbed, teen idol actors. This was when I ran across Sheila’s piece about Ackles and his schtick. I immediately knew that Sheila was someone I wanted to hear more from and that Supernatural could be appreciated without shame by educated, intelligent people like all of you. I am happy to count myself in your company! I have so enjoyed the years of thought swapping with people from all walks of life and around the world. I can enjoy the differences of opinion as much as the mind melding with the likes of Paula and Mutecypher. Thank you so much for opening this world, and so much more, to me, Sheila!
Melanie – thanks for your comment – I love to hear other people’s journeys! Was the older daughter you mention here the one I met in Memphis?
// Like you, Sheila, it was Phantom Traveller that finally sucked me in for me, not just shared family fun. Jaded by my initial exposure, I was convinced that these were just 2 pretty boys in yet another CW teen teaser show. When I saw Ackles in full blown panic attack on that plane and none of us could stop laughing I knew this was something different! //
Ha!! Totally! I was like, “Oh! They’re gonna ‘go there’. It’s gonna be funny too?? Sign me up!” Also, how well he did it – how far he went with it. It was a great hook.
// I have so enjoyed the years of thought swapping with people from all walks of life and around the world. I can enjoy the differences of opinion as much as the mind melding with the likes of Paula and Mutecypher. Thank you so much for opening this world, and so much more, to me, Sheila! //
Awesome! I’ve gotten so much out of our discussions too. I am so glad I decided to take the leap and start writing about the show!
Sheila, You met Miranda, my youngest, who is also the artist. She got us all started watching. She was an avid Destiel shipper. My eldest daughter, Mary Lana, is the theatre lighting designer and master electrician. She was at home that year doing her internship at Circuit Playhouse, aka The Memphian, where you gave your Elvis in the Movies talk. She can, at times, be an elitist snob about TVs and movies, but really she’s a big sci fi nerd. She doesn’t still follow Supernatural, mostly due to years with no TV or cable, but she enjoyed watching with us then. She really enjoyed the lighting in those early seasons and because of her technical theatre background she got excited about things like the walk and talks and fight scenes with no cuts – a bit like you. Like I said, some fun discussions.
I have a Twitter account, but it is only to glimpse and learn about the world of social media going on around me. I have a Tumblr, but it is only to get a creepy parent peek at my daughter’s artwork some of which is definitely nsfm (not safe for mom). I confess this to you, knowing its frowned upon, but I don’t look to be judgy, but because I am the biggest fan of her artwork and talent! I have read the occasional Fanfic, but, again, mostly out of curiosity about the phenomena.
I never have swum in those Supernatural/Destiel/Wincest waters. I’m quite happy here at the deep end with Sheila & co.
// I never have swum in those Supernatural/Destiel/Wincest waters. I’m quite happy here at the deep end with Sheila & co. //
It’s a whole other world in there. I’m amazed by it. I was amazed when I first started watching the show because I had been reading about it through Destiel Goggles for months. I literally did not recognize the show from the stuff I had been reading – in PARTICULAR the way these people framed Dean, as a closeted homophobe.
Honestly, my first piece about Ackles came out of wanting to correct some of those impressions – I mean, they’re allowed to think what they want to think about Dean – obviously – and I definitely have some thoughts about his “sexuality” or whatever you want to call it – but I felt I wanted to re-frame him, or at least express how I saw him, because I was expecting something totally else, based on all those Destiel posts. I was like, “I need to rescue this character from all this bad commentary” lol. Delusions of grandeur, but still, it’s been fun.
This is so interesting, especially as I sort of became aware of Destiel as a thing via the opposite end of the spectrum – that is, the posts of fans who loathed Destiel as a concept, and genuinely seemed to think that if you liked any characters other than Dean and Sam, or enjoyed any other aspect of the show than brother drama, then you were A Bad Fan, Probably A Bad Person, and Clearly Doing It All Wrong. Probably a lot of it was a reaction to the shriller Destiel diehard shippers (whom I guess are the ones you’ve written about), but still. A very polarized fandom!
It really is. I’m legit frightened of some of these people. Especially the ones who are obsessed with them in real life.
I confess I would probably read more fanfiction, EXCEPT I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I cannot read through a few thousand words laced with misuses of there, they’re, and their or “him & I”.
Arghhhhhh! Sheila, you are not only a technical ally good writer, but also a talented writer who is fun to read!
Thank you!!
Natur ally, there’s a typo when I’m being critical of bad grammar. That’ll teach me!
Thank you for your willingness to share your journey into the show and your amazing re-caps! Talking about things that are this deeply personal is hard in real life so I can only imagine the bravery it takes to say them to a world full of strangers who might not have a kind reaction. I’m so thankful for you and your obsessions, this Supernatural one in particular. You have created the most insightful, interesting and thoughtful take that I’ve ever read about the show. I have so much appreciation for the time and detail that you put into each review. I know I’ve emailed you personally a few times, but I’ll say it again- you are amazing at this. I find myself reading and re-reading your recaps. There are many times I will read your re-cap paragraph by paragraph and watch the show scene by scene to follow along with all the nuances that you describe. I hope you never think of your ‘obsessions’ negatively because you are really bringing so much to the world with them. I personally can say they have been a great joy for me! You find the detail in the acting, the scenery, the lighting and then explain it in just the same way I felt in my heart but couldn’t get out into words. I always value the personal elements you include ( hello ex-boyfriend stories) because they add so much realism and support to the magic taking place on the screen.
I’m only a few years into the fandom, having started watching at night three years ago when the baby wouldn’t sleep. I was scanning Netflix and saw ‘Supernatural: 12 seasons’ and thought, well that will take some time to get through. I’d seen gifs of the actors and the show randomly around the internet and gave it a shot. I was got hooked from that very same dark, creepy bridge scene. It was a like ‘ohh what’s this about? why are those pretty guys always in the dark?” And from then on the emotions, the humor, the acting.. all of it has just been fun and total enjoyment.
Of course, I’m sad to hear the announcement that 15 is the last, but really I get it and I support them. The silver lining of it is that you are only on season 3 of re-caps so I will (hopefully) have many years of living, re-living and enjoying the series in the amazing, awesome, and excruciating detail that I’ve come to know and love. :)
Lacey – thank you for your comment! I’m sorry for the delay in responding! I’m doing some catch up now – I do like to respond to everyone.
// You have created the most insightful, interesting and thoughtful take that I’ve ever read about the show. //
This makes me feel really good to hear. Thank you!
// hello ex-boyfriend stories //
hahahaha I find my ex-boyfriends endlessly fascinating. CLEARLY. I am glad to share the stories.
// I was got hooked from that very same dark, creepy bridge scene. It was a like ‘ohh what’s this about? why are those pretty guys always in the dark?” //
I love this!! Yes! That bridge scene is a stunner. and it was so amazing to see how these insanely gorgeous men were often in the dark, so much so that you could barely see their faces. I just interviewed a director about her first feature film – and she said her first day shooting she asked for all the huge lights set up to be taken down. “Everyone over-lights things” she said. She wanted a softer style.
It’s really an epidemic – over-lighting stuff.
// The silver lining of it is that you are only on season 3 of re-caps so I will (hopefully) have many years of living, re-living and enjoying the series in the amazing, awesome, and excruciating detail that I’ve come to know and love. :) //
Yes, I will continue! I can’t stop now – I at least want to make it through Season 6 – which at the rate I’m going will happen around 2025.
Thanks again!
This is a really great read, Sheila! Thanks for sharing how Supernatural started for you. I get how interests can become obsessions, even without the added pressure and complication of a diagnosis to work with–your solution of parceling out the episodes is a good one, I think. And of course, I’m so happy that you decided to write your article about Jensen’s gift for comedy, which brought me here, gave me a sense of validation for the show I loved along with a place to delve more deeply into its actors, themes, and technical/artistic choices. When you began your recaps I lurked happily for some time before joining in the discussions–and your site has brought me so much more than just SPN over the past few years (It’s amazing to me that we can use the term “years” since it certainly doesn’t feel that long!)
I looked up an article on the Hobbit-Cult-Guy–wow. It’s fascinating how someone like that can exploit a shared culture like a fandom, apparently largely to increase his own sense of power. And fandom is ripe for that sort of thing, I think, because even though we purport to be coming together as a shared celebration of SPN, or Harry Potter, or LoTR–name pretty much any high-profile artistic endeavor with a passionate fanbase–we are all taking different perspectives on canon, and these disagreements can become toxic very easily. (I was active on the same fanboard that Tonya mentioned above. While it was often a lot of fun, there was also a lot of negativity, trolls, troll-fighters, Sam vs. Dean arguments, shipping arguments–it became exhausting and I finally had to leave it for my own sanity!) If you are at all still interested in the fandom project you mentioned, I think it could be a great topic. Fandoms do seem to often run on their own parallel course to their actual object, rather than an immersive one! An appraising look at this phenomena could be fascinating.
As for me, my story is fairly routine–I didn’t find SPN out of need–unless distraction can be called need. I was in my last year of my professional degree and working on my final project when I started watching, just an hour here or there when I needed a break. I had a friend who kept telling me, “you love Buffy, you should try this show”, mainly I think because he was tired of hearing me talk about Buffy all the time. Little did he know the monster he was creating! While I enjoyed the first few episodes, it wasn’t until “Faith” that I was well and truly hooked.
Since then, I have binged, I’ve read a ton of fanfic and written a little. I’ve attended a couple of cons, to one of which I took a First Blade replica that I painted to pose with in a J2 photo op–I will never forget Jared unexpectedly putting his arm around my shoulder and the look on Jensen’s face as he held his hand out for the Blade from my husband. I’ve wondered about the online fandom in search of kindred spirits, and found much more than I expected. I have enough t-shirts to make a quilt. I have dragged my entire family into my obsession. I have been giddy, angry, exhausted, challenged, devastated and entertained by this incredibly stretchy show. And I have been grateful to have found it, in all its messy, imperfect, and ambitious glory.
Barb – thank you so much for reading all these years. I so enjoy your comments and your insights.
// And of course, I’m so happy that you decided to write your article about Jensen’s gift for comedy, which brought me here, //
I think that piece has traveled the furthest – of all the pieces I’ve written. I think it’s partly because this fandom is (relatively) small – so word gets around quicker. But I am so happy I wrote it, because so many people got here that way.
// I looked up an article on the Hobbit-Cult-Guy–wow. It’s fascinating how someone like that can exploit a shared culture like a fandom, apparently largely to increase his own sense of power. //
Yes, it’s very chilling – and it seems to be a compulsion with him. It’s basically just HOW he is a fan – he has to dominate the narrative of his interpretation and loop in other people. There’s a fine line with all this stuff – because of course I have a strong interpretation too – as does Jessie, and Melanie, and you, and Paula and everybody else. We stand by how we see the show – our opinions – and that’s part of the fun of it, I think. I love having strong interpretations and going to bat for them.
But as you say – these fandom conflicts can become so toxic – and sometimes I’ve read some of these fan-wars – like the Destiel upset about Season 9, episode 3 that I mentioned, the one that got me watching the show – and sometimes I think, “If the thing you love so much UPSETS you so much … to the fact that you are sending death threats to the writers on Twitter … maybe take a step back??”
I love that you were hooked in by “Faith.” It’s one of the best episodes in the entire show, I think. I re-watched it recently and it is still incredibly moving and spooky and sad.
// I have enough t-shirts to make a quilt. I have dragged my entire family into my obsession. //
Ha!!! This is great.
I remember seeing Supernatural stuff (and by stuff, porn mostly) on Tumblr and didn’t really register. I was heavily into Due South and NCIS at that point (my very first fan fic was NCIS, I really don’t know how I feel about that now lol) and there wasn’t room for much else. Every so often I’d catch a late night ep and think, oh this is very meta, lots of pop culture references but once again, I didn’t invest any real time. My DiNozzo crush lead me to other Weatherly vehicles which got me into Dark Angel. My Weatherly crush is now long since evaporated and I think back on it with VERY mixed feelings, but I will always be thankful that it bought me to the joys of Alec McDowell.
I was smitten with Jensen Ackles, a lovesick child, and it obviously lead me to Supernatural. I’m not going to pretend that the pilot had me hooked. I didn’t care much for Dean, and Sam was kind of one dimensional, but crikey the hot kept me there. It wasn’t until Dead in the Water, Skin and Home that I was finally hooked (and the ta-da moment of THAT’S THE SHOW ON AT NIGHT).
There are so many things that has kept me going with this show of ours but it’s always kind of boiled down to:
Came for the pretty, stayed for the story.
Erin – “came for the pretty, stayed for the story” – I love this!!
I found this article fr your Twitter
Thank you, So much
I too am obsessive. My kids comment on it often
When I fall in love w a show, book series,album, it’s for life
I memorize detail,learn back stories, dream up things in my head
I’ve been like this forever, since my 1st love, Pern around age 10, and it wasnt till my kids grew up & didnt obsess over stuff that I figured out it’s kinda a problem for some people (they tell me now & then to calm down, ease off, etc. I’ve learned to gush in my head. Be it SPN, racing, steve rogers, etc)
I’m what I call socially challenged
I can smile & fake if needed, but I’m better 1 on 1 than in a group & dont even do well if the group is family
I’m more likely to be off on my own, reading a book than engaging with the people
I can animatedly discuss my obsessions, but struggle with “normal”conversation topics
Real friendships are rare
I’ve never been diagnosed w a disorder, i function fine, if a bit solo & i use my focus to do well in my field(im a paralegal)
But, wow its nice to feel such a connection w accomplished, eloquent person & know it’s not just me
Your take on Jensen’s comedic talent&inner dialogue is PERFECT
thank you
Now I’m off to read the rest of your work
Thank you so much for sharing, for visiting my site, and for commenting!
Supernatural has been – along with Elvis – one of my most fruitful obsessions, in terms of propelling me to write. There’s just so much to discuss and discover.
hello. I’m not in a good situation to put my words together right now, but I read a couple of your articles which I found genuinely interesting and just wanted to say in a hopefully NOT creepy way that I absolutely appreciate and love your writing skills and how you express your thoughts and feelings. “phantom traveler” started it all for me and it felt so cool to read what you had to say about the episode. (“Faith” is my favorite of the first season) thank you for making my day. I look up to you and can’t wait to read more. I hope you’re doing okay ?
Q – thank you so much for your comment! Supernatural does have a way of bringing people together – maybe because it’s a small-ish fandom.
I hope things get better for you very soon!
Oh so much! So much too… i dunno, take in.
I will be 30 when Supernatural will finish it course. Which means, I literally grew up with it. My companion, friend. Diary. For me, as a person invested since September 13th, 2005, Destiel was always a weird cult thing from my perspective (“are they mad? are they blind?… are they drugged?…”)
I have read many analysis writings, meta. discussions, you name it. That’s how I came to your blog. I’ve read anti/pro destiel, anti/pro wincest, general meta, colors meta. your meta. All of it, really.
Whatever I could put my hands on. As you describe it – an obsession. Except, I gave in. It kept me alive, really. For years now. Some of them really dark times.
I wonder if I read any Hobbit-Cult-Leader stuff. I guess I did. I just had no idea it was him. I dunno. I NEED TO KNOW.
(looking up this shit r/n)
Fandom works in mysterious ways. I loved reading about your entree to Supernatural because I’ve been devouring your pieces about it, turned on to your amazing work through a recent Tumblr post. I appreciate your take on the show so much.
I have a similar story. I grew aware of Supernatural through Tumblr, mostly following Sherlock fans who were obsessed with something called Destiel. I knew of the ship before the show, and then learned there was a wide world of fanfiction out there that I wanted to explore. But I couldn’t read SPN fanfic without ever having seen the show, so I watched the pilot. Dean, I was sorta expecting. Sam? Who the heck was Sam? I had never even heard of him!! I quickly IMDbed the series to figure out when the Castiel character was going to show up. Not for three entire seasons!? Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Season 4, because I fell in love with Dean, and Sam, and the dark, hilarious, complicated world of the show. I never ended up shipping Destiel, but I did watch every episode (started fall 2019) and I caught up in time to watch the last few episodes in real time.
I had been hearing for years that I should give Supernatural a try, and I am so glad I finally did. It’s given me a countless hours of enjoyment, and more than that, I’m actually really grateful to have gotten to know the work of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. They’re really underrated and their commitment to their roles is really inspiring. I liked the early episodes with their horror and urban legend influences, but I probably wouldn’t have kept watching the show without their charismatic presence. I sometimes feel like I could watch the show on mute and just drink in their cheekbones and I’d be happy. On the other hand I also feel grateful for the show turning me on to classic rock–seriously, that’s one the best legacies of the show for me, giving me a belated love of Bob Seger and the Allman Brothers Band.
To make this long ramble short, thank you for your analysis and your candor.