Read this exchange on Overheard in New York. I have to hold myself back from linking to every single one of these “snippets” – they all strike me as so amusing.
But this one in particular is hilarious. “Who interprets the floor as a garbage can?” hahahaha
Anyway, this snippet made me think:
It is proof of a little theory that I have – one that I can’t really prove, but that I see ALL AROUND ME here in New York City.
New Yorkers obviously have a reputation for being rude and surly. (I’ve met more rude and surly people out in “the provinces” but that’s neither here nor there. The reputation of Manhattan-ites stands.) We have a reputation for being loud, obnoxious, surly, and downright frightening at times.
I think there’s something deeper going on, though, beneath the surliness. And what that is is: an obsession with ORDER. An obsession with good manners. An obsession with COOPERATION. People are OBSESSED by these things here, and small breaches of etiquette can make people go off the deep end.
A tourist coming here will probably not perceive the subtext of the rudeness – they’ll only think: “Holy God, why is that crazy person SCREAMING at me?”
People CONSTANTLY upbraid one another for breaches of etiquette here. It’s like we’re one enormous family in that: mom and dad are not the ONLY people who discipline you. If you misbehave at a family gathering, an aunt, or an uncle, or a grandparent also has FULL punishment rights. You are up for grabs. New Yorkers are like that. We are all aunts and uncles, punishing the nieces and nephews. We work together in this regard. Like: God help you if you cut in line at the bank. You will be openly reprimanded by 5 people at the same time. NO ONE puts up with that stuff.
So … in a weird way … we are more obsessed with politeness and etiquette here than in other places (places that don’t have surly reputations), and we have no problem, as a population, correcting those who don’t play by the rules.
I think it’s because there are so many of us, we are constantly on top of each other, we are ALWAYS in a crowd … and so “etiquette” becomes reeeeeeallly important.
You should NEVER “cut” in line.
Like that “overheard moment” – if you openly litter, chances are SOMEONE will say something to you.
If you grab a cab, cutting off a group of people who OBVIOUSLY were there first, you should expect to be abused.
Because it’s New York, this abuse will probably be filled with profanity and rage. And yet the POINT of the abuse is actually on a Miss Manners level of society: Mind your manners. Respect the space of others. Be aware of the rights of others. Don’t push yourself in where you are not wanted.
It may not seem like etiquette, because of the overlay of surliness, but I assure you: the underlying concern in all of the surly insulting is good manners, the golden rule, and basic etiquette. Which actually, when you think about it, is really quite amusing.
I think the reason the uber-polite Midwest doesn’t have the “reputation for surliness” that NYC does is that we are SO polite we cannot even confront rudeness. In other words, my people are PARALYZED by politeness.
Apparently, NYCers don’t carry that gene, and good for them. Too many times I’ve seen my friends and family cede to rudeness by saying, “Oh, I don’t want to make a fuss. It’s okay.”
It’s NOT okay, and kudos to NYC for not taking it. Rock on, surly people, rock on.
I think maybe one of the reasons this is true is that at least in the Midwest you can GET THE HELL AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. ha ha
We cannot. Hence? The surly etiquette displays, left and right.
“in the Midwest you can GET THE HELL AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.”
That’s it, red. Being compressed in a small space is the key to understanding both the surliness and the heightened concern with etiquette. You’re not fundamentally different than we of the hinterlands, you’re just living under radically different circumstances.
well. that’s what i was going to say. packed in like that, you have to be polite.
down here, etiquette is reinforced by the bonds of family (everybody is related, or knows who you are related to), by being “raised right”, and most of all, because most everybody is armed to the teeth.
redclay:
Huh. Some good points, but I guess it’s an insult to assume that people “down there” are raised right while us “up here” are not. I was raised very right, thank you very much.