I am pathetic and this weekend, my friend Alex completely busted me on my hidden pathetic-ness.
She calls me Saturday night. I am home. I’ve had a full day. You know. Laundry. Reading. Shopping. Cleaning. I took a long walk. I did a bit of cooking. Domestic concerns. By 8:30, 9 pm, I settle down in my chair, I burn some incense, I have a glass of wine, and I do what any NORMAL person would do under that circumstance.
I pop in Shallow Hal.
I love that movie. I was completely biased against it before I saw it, because I somehow thought the movie would be one big fat joke, and it’s just not my cup of tea. No, thanks!!! Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit? Gimme a break. HOWEVER: when I finally saw it, I realized it’s not about that at all. It’s very funny, and actually kind of … ehm … emotional, by the end. (Please realize, though: I welled up with tears when I saw Blue Crush, mmkay? It don’t take much with me.) I am also an enormous Jack Black fan. That guy’ll win an Oscar someday. Watch him dealing with the little girl in the hospital near the end of the movie, and you’ll see why! Also, come on. School of Rock. Love him. And I love Shallow Hal.
But I never really thought of what my behavior would look to an OUTSIDER. And so Alex calls in the middle of the movie. I’m getting a bit verklempt over some of the scenes (and also, let’s not forget – laughing out loud at times) – I’m having a great old time. A perfect Saturday night, in my book. In my pathetic Loser book.
Alex calls. “Hey, how are you?” What’s up, how are you, what’s going on … blah blah.
I say, “Hey! I’m just sitting here watching Shallow Hal.”
Alex didn’t respond immediately, and then she said, in a flat voice, “What?” She had refused to see the movie, too, thinking it would be one long ha-ha-look-at-the-fat-chick movie – and so I then launched into an impassioned (and, in retrospect, highly embarrassing) monologue, a vigorous defense of SHALLOW FECKIN’ HAL, mmkay?, about how it WASN’T about that, and how Gwyneth Paltrow is GREAT in it, and how it has THIS deep level, and THAT deep level, and how it has THIS to say about THAT, and how Jack Black is AWESOME …
Alex finally interrupts this and says bluntly, “What the hell are you doing home on a Saturday night watching SHALLOW HAL, FOR GOD’S SAKE???”
Yes. I am a loser.
But Alex and I roared with laughter about it. So that’s cool.
We then proceeded to talk for hours (a re-cap of what we talked about is here) – we started laughing so loudly and so hard that my neighbors must be pissed off. (That’s okay. I am paying them back for playing “We Don’t Need No Education” on a continuous loop throughout the weekend)
By the way, speaking of Alex – she has a new series up – which you really do not want to miss.
She has just completed her latest series: The 100 Greatest Performances Ever Given. AWESOME. If you love movies, you NEED to read this series.
I might have to come up with a list of my own. Alex’s Film Series are like candy or something – I can’t get enough of them.
Great work, Alex!
Dare I suggest it’s an age/work-related thing?
When I was in my early 20s, and in grad school, I remember feeling like a pathetic loser if I didn’t have plans for Friday/Saturday nights (or, best, both).
Now, I’m 35 and a professor and I feel a giddy joy when I can come home and just relax, not worry about going out somewhere, not worry about TALKING to anyone for the next eight hours.
I admit, I still sometimes look at myself and go “you know, it’s really kind of sad that you’re sitting at home watching Teen Titans, and you know if you keep this up you will probably die alone and unloved” but it’s really hard to work up the energy to go out any more. (Add to that the fact that any of the places OPEN in the evenings where I live are beer joints, and they’re probably crawling with students. And one thing I resolved I’d never do was drink with my students…it’s just a boundaries thing.)
Sheila,
That’s not pathetic. I’m finally getting to the point where, if I have to choose between a night out at a loud club, even ones filled with hot-ass, randy dudes, and a quiet night reading or watching some stupid movie after a long day of errands and domestic stuff, I’ll take the latter more often than not these days.
Geek Love had me stuck to the couch for most of the weekend. I blame Katherine Dunn for my house-bound weekend lameness.
It’s definitely an age thing, in part. Also, I had a week where I was out almost every night – kind of rare for me. I needed to stay home, and chill, and be quiet, and also … watch Shallow Hal.
Emily: oh my God, you’re reading Geek Love. !!!!
Sheila – it’s awesome. I can’t believe it. What a brilliant piece of work. Creepy, surreal, touching, weird, insane, frightening, sad, bizarre, disgusting, captivating…That’s just the first 100 pages.
“Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo” is the same kind of movie (sort of). You think it will be stupid and that all the good bits have already been played in the trailer you saw. But I found it to be charming, how Deuce takes all the misfits seriously and ends up making them feel better about themselves. I mean, taking a Tourrettes Syndrome person to a ball game where she can shout anything out loud was brilliant. he had a real compassion for those people and that was what made the movie work for me. Ive only seen parts of Shallow Hal but one day I will rent it and watch the whole thing.
THat’s a wonderful list of wonderful performances that Alex has put together.. probably too many to go through ticking the ones I would also have on such a list.. although I completely agree with the inclusion of Maggie Smith and (the almost forgotten) Ernest Borgnine and Boris Karloff.. and TOTALLY agree.. Johnny Depp should have got the Oscar for Ed Wood.. plus John Hurt (as I may have mentioned before) FANTASTIC!!.. and yes.. ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!
Other nominees (for me anyway) – Anne Bancroft in 84 Charing Cross Road.. lovely lovely movie and performance. Sigourney Weaver in Alien (although John Hurt could also be mentioned again there).. Pacino in Godfather 1 and 2 and Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal.. well, maybe not the last one, although it is under-rated.
But I’m not one to over-analyse anyone’s weekend.. Nora last week.. Collateral for this week.. Dodgeball still to come..
Dodgeball is one of the greatest movies ever made.
I typed that with a straight face.
Please. Any movie that features Rip Torn as a grizzled wheel-chair bound dodgeball legend is okay in my book.
Crushed by two tons of irony, no less. ;-)
“You’re about as useful as a poopey-flavored lollipop!”
“You’re about as useful as a poopey-flavored lollipop!”
Oops. Sorry for the double post.
Emily, I love that it was THAT particular quote that got a double post.
Ha ha ha. How brilliant was Jason Bateman in that film anyway? I’d pick that as one of my favorite performances. “Cotton, I spoke to White Goodman last night, and he told me he really wants his team to win.”
Total genius. It was one of my favorite things in the movie … Pepper. hahaha
Once again, I’ll throw in my two cents for José Ferrer in Cyrano de Bergerac.
I was living in Charlotte while they were filming Shallow Hal there, so I like watching it to see all the places I’ve been (Macintosh, Fuel Pizza, yadda yadda). Plus, Jason Alexander played smarmy very well in that one, tail and all.
…but Teen Titans is cool. So is JLU. Am I supposed to be ashamed of that?
;)