I can’t even trace my steps to how I found the following piece – but I love it, and I have to pass it on.
Manners and deportment tips to people who have reached the age of 25.
One example:
7. Know how to calculate the tip. Ten percent of the total; double it; done. You did not have to major in math to know how this works. You are not dumb, but your Barbie-math-is-hard flailing is agonizing and has outstayed its welcome. Ten percent times two. Learn it.
There’s more, though. It’s good funny writing.
This one made me laugh out loud:
17. Have a real trash receptacle, real Kleenex, and, if you smoke, a real ashtray. No loose bags on the floor; no using a roll of toilet paper; no plates or empty soda cans. You are not a fierce warrior nomad of the Fratty Bubelatty tribe. Buy a wastebasket and grown-up paper products.
Sad thing is how many 35 year olds that I know who need to read that. One she missed learn which fork to use when you are at a fancy(one without archs)restaurant. Thanks red that was a wonderful read.
GBfan
These are great.
How about: Don’t enter a room talking at the top of your voice to the person or people you expect to find there. See if there is already a conversation taking place or if you need to wait your turn for some other reason. This drives me nuts at work.
These are excellent additions.
So much of it comes down to being aware of your surroundings, doesn’t it? Having a world outside of your own head, and being able to adjust accordingly.
BRILLIANT!!!
Umm….I still do 2 of those things on the list. But I will stop now. I swear!
I’m a loser.
Alex – I so want to know which one you do.
I actually use toilet paper as Kleenex. I admit it. But you can bet I will change my ways now.
tp for kleenex..guilty…several others as well..very funny..but it made me feel bad about myself!
hahahahahaha!
My favorite is this:
20. Rudeness is not a signifier of your importance.
I’d also add, if your co-worker is in their office, frantically typing, reading, or some other work-related task, and if you start to talk to them and they respond monosyllabically and turn away from you at a “break point” in the conversation, please take it as a hint that they are busy and really do not have time to hear about the weird thing you found in your sink drain this morning.
and
If you are leaving the house, please dress for it. Do not wear pajamas to class or work, figuring since you have to be there at 8 am and conceivably there are people in the world who are still in bed at 8 am, it is cool. If you are female, consider the likely temperature of the room before you show up in a camisole and short-shorts. If you wear almost no clothing, and the rest of your class or office is in ordinary office-clothing, do not insist they turn up the heat or turn down the air conditioning simply because you are cold because 75% of your skin surface is exposed. If you are male, be aware that not everyone is as amused as you are by your “Big Johnson” or other double-entendre bearing t-shirt.
And
If you are male, and buy a bright yellow pickup truck with a muffler cut-out, be aware that most women do not find it particularly “cool,” and in fact, many of them will assume you are compensating for something.
NOOOOOOO!!!!! I am not a responsible adult, I’m not! I can’t be! It’s just not possible!
Well, I can agree with most of this stuff, but I don’t know about this business of not using toilet paper as Kleenex. I look at this from the perspective of a software developer. If I need some code to do function x, and my coworker in the next cubicle has already written some code that was intended to do function y but seredipitously also does function x, then am I going to write my own code from scratch to do function x? Of course not! That would be foolish and wasteful, and my boss would yell at me. Similarly, why should I bother to buy Kleenex, which after all is only going to consume more space on my bathroom counter, when I already have perfectly good toilet paper, as if I were some priss whose nose was too delicate to be touched by anything but a paper product specifically designed for the purpose? There’s nothing wrong with using toilet paper as Kleenex, and I’m not going to stop, durn it!
;)
Yet another person under the spell of Sars. My work here is done!
My reign as King of the Mole People continues
Today has just been dreadful: it’s cold and rainy, the Exit Strategy articulated by my cold is though my chest, and we have a faculty meeting this afternoon. Blah. I did however bring the laptop with me so that I…
good point Bryan!