Party snapshots

— Met up with Rachel in the Grand Central terminal, ready to take our train north into the wilds of Connecticut. Rachel! My old dear friend from Chicago, who now lives here. So cool! There was probably not more than 2 seconds of silence between us during the entire 2 hour train ride. Yap yap yap yap. Fun.

— We were going to the house of Jackie and Stuart, who were having a party today. (There are so many good stories from the friendship of Jackie and Sheila. We have had some truly bizarre adventures. Here’s one of my favorites. And I would say that this one is pretty funny too. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.) People from all different sections of my life (and theirs, of course) would be in attendance. Mitchell is in town. He would be there. David and Maria and their kids (and their new dog). Jim!!! An old friend from college, who then moved to Chicago while I was there (oh, the memories – after going to his first Pat show, which Mitchell and I dragged him to, even though he was seriously jet-lagged, Jim said, dazed: “I felt like Pat McCurdy was … some sort of god…”) and is now living in Providence. Another old friend from college, David, who I ended up being in a show with here in New York, randomly. Haven’t seen him since that show closed in 2002. Rachel. Oh, and Luisa – one of my good friends from college – ahem. Buy her jewelry. She’s incredible. Oh yeah – and my first serious boyfriend was going to be there, too – with one of his sons. Argh! This is your life, Sheila!!!

— Jackie and Stuart’s house is idyllic. It feels like such a home. Beautiful. Warmly painted walls, lots of books – it’s an old house, so there’s a lot of cool old details. And, here’s the kicker: 4 piano-esque instruments. Hysterical. A small standing piano that Jackie got at a yard sale in college (I remember the day she brought it home). A much larger piano painted orange that Jackie got from a friend when that friend moved. A small electric keyboard. Then – an old-fashioned huge organ, with these little knobs you push in for different effects – Jackie sang us an impromptu number on that one. The funny thing about Jackie playing the piano is that no matter what number she chooses to sing, it always ends up sounding like a hymn. Something about her chord choices. She makes “Love Potion #9” sound like “Onward Christian Soldiers”.

— Jackie wore an apron with two blazing yellow pineapples on it.

— The backyard was heaven on earth. There was a swing hanging from a high high tree limb. The swing will take a starring role later in the party. Over in the corner, surrounded by trees, was an idyllic little hammock. There was a small brick patio, but for the most part, it was just a grassy green space made for kids.

— When Mitchell walked into the kitchen when he first arrived, he had on a small straw cowboy hat. He looked great. Sadly, his hat choice made me think of “I have lived -” step-step-step ” – many lives”, one of Mitchell’s more ridiculous moments.

— David and Maria’s two girls are so gorgeous, so sweet. They were so solicitous and careful with their new dog, very attentive. Adorable. They remind me so much of the two little girls in In America.

— Jackie and Stuart’s two sons are amazing – such little individuals. So different from one another, and both so interesting.

— Oh, and my first serious boyfriend came — argh! I was nervous to see him for about 2 seconds, and then when I laid eyes on him I was fine. He’s a good friend. And a cherished person from my past. His son is this sweet-faced blue-eyed boy, who slayed my heart a little bit (in a good way).

— We all sat around on the patio, lots of talk, lots of laughter. Reconnecting with old friends. I also love watching people from totally different parts of my life chatting and getting along. Seeing old-boyfriend talking in an in-depth way with Rachel – whom he had never met. Seeing David talking and laughing with Stuart. One of our other Chicago friends who was there regaled us all with tales of touring with Vagina Monologues. Good good stories, y’all. Some excellent celebrity gossip! But my lips are sealed!

— The food was delicious. Stuart made margaritas.

— I miss Luisa. I miss seeing her more. My favorite Luisa story is of her wandering through the apartment she shared with Mitchell in college, devastated about something, can’t remember what, and Luisa – a brilliant learned woman – saying to herself over and over, “This is my bear to cross. This is my bear to cross.” Completely not realizing she had reversed it. She was deadly serious. Deadly. “Bear to cross” has now become a catch-phrase with my group of friends. All you need to do is say, “Bear to cross?” and people know exactly what you mean.

— Great talk with Mitchell about Bette Davis. And how great she is. It’s almost like her “campiness” has helped her work to survive the years. She may be overe the top … but there’s still something deeply universal in her acting, that cannot be attached to a specific “style” of acting.

— And then came: fun on the swing!!! David MADE each and every one of us have a turn on the swing. He would BELLOW our names. Literally. BELLOW. “SHEILA O’MALLEY. COME TO THE SWING.” And here was the ritual. It was the same, each and every time. You got on the swing. David would then push you up, up, up – so that you were nearly horizontal – but he would still be holding onto you, so that you would hover there, over the patio, supported by his hands on your butt. He would then BELLOW to the crowd (David is a born showman): “IS ANYONE BEHIND ME???” All the little kids, of course, loved the ritualistic aspect of this – and all would shout: “NO!” He would then let you go, and give you a nice hard shove just to send you careening off into the yard with as much force as possible. Then came an amazing time of just swinging, up high, shoes flying off, the crowd cheering … David would yell at one point: “DO YOU WANT THE SPIN MANEUVER?” (He yelled this every time.) The person swinging would shout, as they hurtled past, either “Yes” or “No”. Often it didn’t matter what you answered. David would put you into “the spin maneuver” regardless. As you would shriek by, David would grab your feet and whip them to the left or the right, so then you would be forced into a “spin maneuver”. The kids loved that one. They always requested “the spin maneuver”. Then … as the swing died down naturally … David would bellow: “LET GO WHEN I TELL YOU TO!” (It’s so hysterical that everyone just naturally obeyed his bellowing demands. Hahahaha.) So then – David would yell, “LET GO” at a certain point – just as you were swinging towards him – and you would let go, and he would be right there to catch you. Now, please remember: there were … what … 12 adults there? Of varying weights and sizes. And also 7 children altogether. David did this for ALL of us. Men, women, children. He was drenched in sweat afterwards. hahahaha Flopped in a chair and drank his beer. But damn: flying through the air on that swing was a glorious feeling. Beautiful. Thanks, David, for being a perpetual He-Man Action Figure.

— Jim told a VERY funny story. Jim was in a show in Chicago. They did a show for a bunch of kids bussed in from the south side of Chicago. We’ve all done shows like that. Sometimes they can be such a blast that you are high for days … other times it is, to put it mildly, not so fun. After the show, the cast came on the stage for a question and answer period. Jim played the Prince. Just so you have some context: Jim is … not a large man. He is small, and boyish-looking. He is also older than I am and looks like he is about 19 years old. So they open up the floor for questions. A girl in the audience raised her hand and said (and I quote – sorry if it’s offensive, but it’s how the girl spoke): “Yeah. I gots a question for the Prince.” Jim said to her, “Yes?” And the girl said: “Is you a midget?” !!!!! No one knew what to say. There was dead silence for a moment. And then Jim said: “Is I a what?”

— Jackie’s son’s obsession with recycling has not abated with the years. You sip your beer and suddenly you feel this small hovering presence beside you. You turn. He says, “Are you done with your beer yet?” He wants to put the bottle in the appropriate bucket. He has the whole recycling thing down. He even knows the laws about recycling in other countries, and can list them to you.

— Oh, here’s another funny thing. Jackie’s son is not only obsessed with recycling, but he is also obsessed with the United States Presidents and can tell you pretty much anything you want to know about any of them. Even the nobodies. He knows EVERYTHING. He has a poster of them on his wall, with a couple of relevant facts beneath each face. When Rachel and I first arrived, Jackie gave us a tour of the house. Jackie and I went into her bedroom, and Rachel stayed behind in Jackie’s son’s room with him. Our paths diverged for no less than 30 seconds. As Jackie and I walked by her son’s bedroom, we heard Rachel say, in a tone of interest, “So William Henry Harrison wasn’t really around for a long time then?” We just howled. It took them 2 seconds to get deeply into presidential biographies.