I do not have television right now. Last night I got together with my friend (and old roommate – wrote an essay about her here) – and we caught up. It has been a while. Also, I lived with her for almost 9 years – We are used to being “caught up” with each other on a daily and intimate level along the lines of “Oooh, you got your eyebrows waxed!” Or “I had this crazy dream last night…” Or “Let me read you the email I just got from that guy we met a couple nights ago…”
So seeing each other once every couple of weeks is quite disconcerting. Now we have to do big catch-ups. How’s your life, are you dating anyone, how’s your show going, how is your family?
We are still not used to it.
We hung out in her candlelit apartment, we talked, we rolled about roaring with laughter. Nobody makes me laugh like Jen. And her laugh! I know you haven’t met her and all, and maybe you have someone in your life who you THINK has the best laugh – but you haven’t heard Jen’s laugh!
And then – we watched television.
Jen admitted to me in a shamefaced way that she is addicted to “The Apprentice”, the new reality show, starring Donald Trump. Jen is a discerning person, Jen has good taste, but Jen has succumbed. And after watching “The Apprentice” with her, I can see why. Now I’M addicted.
It was odd – I was absolutely entranced by the television. By the commercials. It was hypnotic. Jen surfed around, channel to channel, and I watched, agog. So weird. In a way, I’m glad I don’t have TV because my time would be taken up at night, surfing around for hours. But I am sorry that I missed Howard Dean’s “AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH” speech. (I loved Jane Galt’s description of comments overheard the next day about the speech. I loved the one guy who said, “What does this say? He’s angry and he’s got an atlas.”)
I couldn’t take my eyes off the television. I drank in the images.
And within 2 seconds, I got COMPLETELY sucked into “The Apprentice”.
The thrust of this episode was that they would all be challenged on negotiating techniques. They all had assignments: get golf clubs for THIS price, get your legs waxed for THIS price … The two teams (split up between men and women) raced around the city, trying to get these vendors to come down in their prices.
Although the women did win the challenge, (they crushed the guys) I was completely disgusted by what they resorted to. These are business women, these are professional women, and they resorted to little-girl pleading techniques – One assignment was they had to get squid at a certain price, and one of the women showed the fish vendor her concave belly, ostensibly to say “I’m so hungry, look how hungry I am!” But what it really was was a flirtatious gesture. She was showing some SKIN to get what she wanted.
And the guys, meanwhile, were using more recognizably corporate negotiating techniques – and not having as much luck.
I found it gross. Demeaning. And it was even worse (or more telling) that the girls WON with that shit. Only one of them did not use her sexuality to get what she wanted. She basically talked the golf-club seller down, telling him what HE would get out of it, making it seem like HE was winning.
I was proud of her. I was proud of my SEX at that moment. I was embarrassed to be a woman watching that other shit. But ah, what an irony: they won the challenge. They crushed the guys. So I suppose flashing your skin during a negotiation is acceptable. I wonder how that would work if you were trying to negotiate a deal with a corporation.
“Oh, come on, PLEASE give us what we want! Look at my underwear!! Aren’t my panties so cute???”
Listen to how much I am talking about this. I am a goofball. I do not have television. I found the entire thing completely captivating.
Afterwards, Jen and I discussed the show, as seriously as if it were Tolstoy.
It was a blast.
I’m wondering if the sexploitation by the female team was entirely self-initiated or if the producers “suggested” this kind of behavior in order to get & keep the ratings up…also, if the people who would seek to be on such a program may be a little exhibitionistic to start with.
Well, to be totally accurate, there was one woman who watched her team members behaving like dipshits, and said to the cameras, “I don’t think this was what Trump had in mind when he talked about ‘negotiation techniques’.”
I’m sure having a camera crew follow you around does odd things to your personality.
A very very good friend of mine worked for 7 seasons as a producer for MTV’s “The Real World”, and she was eloquent about the transformations that occur in people when they put themselves in situations where they are always being watched. Natural tendencies get distorted, enlarged – fights get huger faster because of the consciousness of the cameras … etc.
But also:
The men didn’t run around behaving like gender cliches. Why the anomaly?
I think it may be something bigger. That there is something cultural going on here – a fear of confrontation in women (not all women, but some women) – and so when confronted with confrontation (bad writing, forgive me) – they regress to Daddy’s Little Girl behavior, using the flirty techniques that made their fathers give them whatever they wanted.
This is not the case with all women – it’s not the case with me, or with most of my friends – but I’ve seen it abound in my sex. In general.
Well, it is a reality show, and the rewards for winning are not exactly slight. That kind of thing is to be expected, and at the risk of pissing off the ladies, that’s probably why one of the guys will ultimately win.
Still, considering the relative brain power of the women on the show (16 were selected from something like 200,000, largely on intelligence and implied business sense), it is rather telling that they still resort to that kind of thing.
Why? Well, because it works.
Mr. Lion –
Well, it still pisses me off and embarrasses me – I don’t care that it “works”. I have used such techniques myself – but it is usually in the realm of the male-female mating-dance, where it is to be expected, and it’s appropriate. May the best girl win.
I hope the chick wins who used normal strong negotiating techniques, and got the golf-club vendor to come down in his price. I was impressed. Much more impressed with her than with any of the guys, who floundered about.
Although I am a bit in love with Bill, the cigar store owner. OUCH!
But additionally:
None of those squealing showing-the-belly pleading “techniques” would ever work in a normal negotiation, at a big long conference table.
Brain-power and selling-power is what matters there. The psychological game of trying to convince someone that they NEED to accept what you are saying is right.
Funny that all eight women are thin and hot- what a coincidence!
Sorry to see that Sam guy get fired- even though he was incompetant, he was probably the most interesting person on the show.
Sam is a psychological case-study.
the way he was staring down Trump at the end like … Gollum or something …
He did make things interesting. It’s always the “villains”, the “trouble-makers” that make shows great. Like Joe Pantoliano on The Sopranos.
And of course – female apprentices must be thin, hot, and NEVER have curly hair.
Jen, my friend, who has very curly hair, would comment on the “Bachelor” etc. looking at the array of women, all like little clones, of course thin that’s a given – but NONE with curly hair. Strange.
I don’t watch any of the reality shows. It’s not strength of character on my part, just pain avoidance. All of those things give me the willies.
I find them highly addictive. HIGHLY.
When I had TV, I didn’t really get into the later versions (The Bachelor, Average Joe or whatever …) – but I have been a staunch Real World fan since Day 1.
I swore long ago never to watch “reality” shows. So, OK, I’m a snob: I totally accept and, in fact, embrace that. ;-)
OTOH, mentioning one of the contestants staring down Trump reminds me that, to paraphrase Darth Vader, the best apprentice is the one who ultimately surpasses the master.
OK, I admit I have occasionally watched Road Rules and The Real World, and sometimes found them entertaining. They’re definitely not as reprehensible as the new breed of shows where producers do brilliant stuff like have people eat rancid fish guts for prize money. But even with a show like Real World, the camera does have a huge impact and I think melodrama is far more prevalent than it would be otherwise.
MikeR-
Road Rules rules.
And oh, the stories my friend told about the behind-the-scenes stories in those Real World houses … It was insane. Normal conservative Mormon girls suddenly would have random sex, everything blown out of proportion…
Apparently, about 80% of the girls (maybe even more) who appeared on the Real World developed serious eating disorders within a couple of weeks of being in the house.
I wanted my friend to write an essay about it – but while she worked for the show she was unable to. Maybe now she could. She’s an amazing writer, and has an incredible eye for human psychology.
The thing is Sheila – Average Joe is a train wreck – I try to turn back to CSI (which I love) – but…
But red, with all the problems you cite about Real World, do you think it’s really a healthy thing for them or us?
I mean, at the far end of the whole celebrity process, you end up with train wrecks like Michael Jackson…
Yup, which is why I figure one of the guys will win. It’s possible the one female who isn’t acting like a tart might pull it off, but the odds aren’t exactly in her favor.
I’m gunning for that chick to win, then. Hands down.
I’d also like it if Mr. Cigar Store Man won, too, but that’s only because he’s so damn cute.
Sue me, I’m shallow.
Mike R –
I suppose you raise a valid point – Is this really good for us?
I’m just speaking now from my own experience – I am very very hard on myself, in terms of intellectual pursuits. I read the classics, even if I hate them. I love many of them – but many did nothing for me. I read them anyway. I have a constant reading-list going, I am always trying to better myself. I identify holes in my learning: “Hmm – I should really learn more about the Khmer Rouge…” And I buy 3 books and read them all. It’s all enjoyable, I never ever stop learning- it is my goal to continuously keep growing and learning.
All of that being said – with all of that going on – I need a BREAK sometimes. I need to just CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
And so I LOVE reality shows (when I can watch them), and VH1 Behind the Music shows — I love John Hughes movies – I love shallow teenage romances – because I can just ESCAPE, and I can relax.
So for me, it is VERY good for me, and provides a huge service.