Actual Conversation

Posted on February 3, 2004 by sheila

HE: So – want to meet up at Jekyll and Hyde before the show and grab a bite to eat?

(Jekyll and Hyde is a theme restaurant here in NYC … monsters, cobwebs, coffins, etc.)

ME: Sure.

Pause.

HE: Is that too immature?

Pause.

ME: A couple months back, I rang the doorbell of Liv Tyler’s new house in the Village – and then ran away like a maniac.

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17 Responses to Actual Conversation

  1. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 3:59 pm

    Ring and run is for wimps. A truly immature person would have TP’d the place.

  2. red says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:01 pm

    Oh, it was pathetically wimpy.

    Perhaps I feared she would use her Arwen powers and make the Hudson River attack me like wild white horses…

  3. red says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:02 pm

    Or – I could have mooned her.

    That would have been sufficiently immature as well.

    “HEY, ARWEN … LOOK OVER HERE…”

    Drop trou…

  4. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:05 pm

    You can always call her and ask if she’s got Prince Albert in a can or something to make up for it.

  5. Laura says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:08 pm

    If all else fails, go for the flaming paper bag trick.

  6. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:10 pm

    Or you can do a “Jack Handey”:

    “Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.”

  7. red says:
    February 3, 2004 at 4:29 pm

    “no harm done”…

    ha ha

  8. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 5:12 pm

    I love the way he just throws out the “Sometimes when I feel like killing someone…”, as if this is a perfectly typical thing that one might experience often.

  9. Bill McCabe says:
    February 3, 2004 at 5:28 pm

    You mean you don’t ever feel that way?

  10. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 5:35 pm

    Only once, at this place called Chumley’s…

  11. Bill McCabe says:
    February 3, 2004 at 5:37 pm

    Yes, I could tell you were positively miserable when you were there, with all the laughing and drinking.

  12. Emily says:
    February 3, 2004 at 5:56 pm

    Enemies often come with a smile, McCabe…

  13. Bill McCabe says:
    February 3, 2004 at 6:03 pm

    If you wanted me dead, you had plenty of chances. There weren’t too many witnesses on the subway platform.

    BTW, I thought *I* was surly when I didn’t get much sleep.

  14. Stephen Silver says:
    February 3, 2004 at 11:44 pm

    You know where Liv Tyler lives, and you didn’t tell me? ?

  15. red says:
    February 4, 2004 at 12:38 am

    Steve-

    I know exactly where she lives. heh heh heh

  16. Patrick says:
    February 4, 2004 at 2:36 am

    Sheila, I think I’m in love with you.

  17. red says:
    February 4, 2004 at 1:03 pm

    Patrick –

    I think I have made my feelings clear on this matter.

    Didn’t I demand that you marry me when you bailed me out on a grammar mistake?

Comments are closed.