Mark Twain’s Innocents Abroad

I’m almost finished with Mark Twain’s The Innocents Abroad. It’s been so wonderful and so much fun I don’t want it to end.

The group is now in the Holy Land.

Here’s a typical excerpt:

We crossed a street, and came presently to the former residence of St. Veronica. When the Saviour passed there, she came out, full of womanly compassion, and spoke pitying words to him, undaunted by the hootings and the threatenings of the mob, and wiped the perspiration from his face with her handkerchief. We had heard so much of St. Veronica, and seen her picture by so many masters, that it was like meeting an old friend unexpectedly to come upon her ancient home in Jerusalem. The strangest thing about the incident that has made her name so famous, is, that when she wiped the perspiration away, the print of the Saviour’s face reamined upon the handkerchief, a perfect portrait, and so remains to this day. We knew this, because we saw this handkerchief in a cathedral in Paris, in another in Spain, and in two others in Italy.

This entry was posted in Books and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Mark Twain’s Innocents Abroad

  1. jayne says:

    hahahahaa! I love Mark Twain!

  2. Nightfly says:

    The man had (and still has) a valid point. I think he also mentions the True Cross elsewhere – if you put together all its pieces, you could build a replica of the Eiffel Tower.

    I won’t speak for my whole denomination, but I’ve always found the concept of relics a bit dodgy. For example, let’s canonize Sheila for this exercise. That coffee cup she just snitched is a third-class relic, something she’s only briefly used or touched. Same with the keyboard at which she types her blog and so on.

    Second-class would be something personal, like her tube socks or toothbrush. And first class would be a little hunk of Sheila herself. It is not uncommon for some ancient chruches to actually have their namesake saint in a crypt under the altar. Failing that, a knuckle or something will do.

    See? Ew. One is better off sticking to the basics.

  3. Ken says:

    If we put the picture of the eyeball in an ark, say, we could–dare I say it–conquer the world?

  4. red says:

    Ken – I would need to get it back from the guy I gave it to.

    Hmmm, how crazy would THAT be? 12 years after our date, he gets a call: “Uhm … hi … yeah … this is Sheila … uhm … we went on about 4 dates 12 years ago? Uhm … yeah … do you still have that picture of the back of my eyeball?”

  5. Ken says:

    I sense a quest….

Comments are closed.