The comments to this post from Joe. My. God.are HILARIOUS.
The photo of Madonna up on that huge cross is everywhere and I’m sorry … It just makes me laugh. Like … Madonna Please. Get down. It’s okay that you’re 72 years old. We forgive you. She looks so TEENY and … ultimately strange … I don’t know, there’s something amusing to me in that image. She seems miniaturized or something. I also find amusing all the “outrage” out there: “Oooh, I’m so outraged that Madonna is messing with religion!” Guys. The chick has been doing this stuff for 55 years now. You haven’t gotten used to it yet?
I am more disturbed by the incongruity of her red blouse against the mirrored background.
But anyway: back to Joe’s funny commenters:
Here are a couple of my personal favorites:
“crimeney. she’s standing on a platform. can’t she just hang there like every other savior?”
And
“Hey, MY Jesus didn’t use backing tapes during HIS sermon on the mount.”
And
“Our Lady of Pathetic Career Revival Attempts, pray for us.”
But this comment has got to be the best one:
“Remember that Evita’s preserved body traveled around the world for years before they finally stuck her into a tomb.”
Those comments are great!
I don’t know what I find more annoying – Madonna’s predictable “shocking” show or the religiosos whinging about their offense. Why is anybody acting surprised by this? From a woman who’s feigned stigmata in a music video and would probably masturbate with a crucifix if it would buy her ten minutes of chatter in the media, for goodness’ sake.
Besides, she just looks ridiculous in that picture. Abso-friggin-lutely absurdly pathetic.
She does! She looks ridiculous – I don’t know what it is – the feathered hair, the fact that her feet are supported …
I just think she looks kind of funny.
…the way the microphone is propped up, her outfit, the megalomania of likening herself to Christ…the list is pretty darn long.
Madonna demonstrates what crucifixion would be like under OSHA guidelines.
What a cmplete clown.
All I can think of when I see those pictures is a comment from the late, lamented great show of the 80s, “The Young Ones.” I think it was Vyvyan, or Neil, who said
“You can’t crucify yourself, because you can’t get the last nail in.”
But also – if she’s going for that, if she’s trying to be provocative and equating her own experience as Christ-like – then this just doesn’t “do it” for me.
Her blonde ambition tour was a tour de force – The sets! The costumes! I LOVED it. This just looks silly and desperate.
That’ll teach me to not READ THE COMMENTS in their ENTIRETY before I posting about them. Big Gay Dan beat me to The Young Ones joke. He must be old like me.
Lisa – I literally just had some kind of strange flashback when I read the word “Vyvyan”
Wow.
Also – the last comment over there (at least the last one I checked) has a link – make sure you click it. I laughed out loud when I saw the image of what Madonna’s “next look” would be.
The closest I’ve seen to her shows are the parts excerpted in Truth or Dare and she does put on a lively, great show, if those are any indication. The problem is that she’s almost 50. I don’t want to say that she should hang it up or retire or anything. I would ordinarily resent the remarks about her age, but she is just not aging with any amount of dignity. Bouncing around Coachella with an electric guitar or prancing on stage in a purple leotard…it’s absurd.
I blame Kabbalah. Isn’t she sipping on the elixir of life on a daily basis? Maybe she thinks it will stop the aging process.
They do claim it is supposed to hinder the aging process.
Emily: at least she isn’t falling out of trees and then going on tour with a group of botoxed cadavers.
//going on tour with a group of botoxed cadavers.//
Now that’s a show I might pay money to see, actually.
I actually called Joe I was so upset about this. And I’ll repeat myself:
When will she go away? She’s like a bad case of herpes, coming back when you think you’re excited and not even soothed by cream.
Perhaps this is what will later be known as The Decline of Madonna …
It sure as hell feels like it to me. And I like Madonna. But it all feels really done to me. I don’t know … even the “outrage” feels exhausted and phony to me. Like – nobody cares.
Girl – I owe you a phone call! Will you be around tonight?
That outfit is completely wrong. Seriously, some black bondage gear would have made much more of a dramatic visual experience. That outfit makes her look like she just accidentally discovered she’s hanging on a cross.
And I agree with you Red, it all feels phoney and done.
I wonder how Mr. Madonna feels about all this. I wonder if the people around her are embarrassed for her or what.
//That outfit makes her look like she just accidentally discovered she’s hanging on a cross.//
hahahahahahahahaha Exactly!!!
Yeah, the whole mixing of the sacred and the profane thing — are we really supposed to be shocked by that anymore? Are you (Madonna and others, i.e. Lewis Black on his recent book cover) honestly putting that forth as something bold and provocative, as evidence of your artistic bravery and refusal to be “censored”? It’s … not. It’s tedious and lazy — and consequently kind of a cowardly artistic choice. I know it riles up the usual suspects, but seriously. And I say this as a practicing, believing Catholic. I don’t LOVE it when people desecrate the Blessed Mother or mock the crucifixion. Obviously not; it makes me very sad. But it is NOT daring, brave, or interesting for an artist to do such things anymore, especially in the dull, unimaginative, seen-it-a-million-times way Madonna has here. At the risk of being completely inappropriate, it’s pretty much been done to death.
I don’t think it’s INHERENTLY lazy – although I agree with you that it can be.
The church is a huge organization and should expect to be lampooned. I’m Catholic, whatever, I have no problem with it. Mainly because I see religion as something that is MY business and nobody else’s. I personally am worn OUT with being “sensitive” to everyone’s religious beliefs. Seriously. I’m sick of it. Just because so-and-so finds something sacred doesn’t mean I have to. I don’t care if someone worships a sage bush and dances around it every solstice wearing glittery slippers. Just don’t try to make me give a crap about it.
But with Madonna – it does seem lazy. Like – a desperate attempt to capture her old provocateur status. But … but … it’s just not catching on although the usual suspects like the Catholic League dude comes out with his obligatory boring “this is offensive” statement.
Yawn to the whole affair.
Exactly. The one thing she had going for her for so long, was a sense of the ridiculous. It was the only thing I could bear. It was really the only thing I understood about her fame. Now it seems like it’s turned into depseration and plain old ego.
She’s tired. If she wants to keep up this pretense about being “a chameleon” (which I also don’t buy) then maybe she should try something really revolutionary.
Like just sing.
(I’ll be home after class tonight. About Midnight. 9:00 for you I think. Call me for the love of Pete.)
She’s been pissing off the church for 20 years. But at least she used to do it with a sense of irony and fun!!
Okay – calling you tonight.
I’M BUYING A DVD PLAYER. Omigod. I know. It’s incredible. I will be SO technologically up to date now.
Yeah, Sheila, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t *personally* love it when my particular religion is verbally attacked, mocked, whatever. But I absolutely think that people SHOULD be able to do it — as should they be able to put the Mohammed cartoon in their school paper and not get picketed or threatened. And sometimes I think it’s really, REALLY funny, i.e., the Simpsons “Catholic” episode. I also find it extremely annoying when that Donohue guy comes out with his inevitable condemnation. I feel like it’s always been a point of Catholic pride NOT to give satisfaction to people like Madonna for silly stuff like that. And then he comes out all humorless and predictable and makes us look like whiny goons. Grrr.
My point is: pretending to be crucified? With a crown of thorns and everything? Seriously? Could there possibly be a more overdone, less titillating “statement”?
I don’t think mixing sacred and profane is inherently lazy either, not at all. I think it can be done to great effect, communicate meaningful, important, and *truly* provoative ideas, etc. (regardless of whether I agree with them or not.) But this is just SO damn boring and lame.
As you say … yawn.
Sheila – hahahaha Yeah, it’s like out he comes, with his pre-printed statement of “offense” – it’s like: even he doesn’t believe what he’s doing!!
Another Sheila
EXACTLY!!!!
If we’re able to make fun of Jesus, then we can make fun of Mohammed. Well…not make fun, but you know what I mean.
I’m no particular religion, but she’s starting to get on my nerves. So can I do a one woman show and parody Kabbalah? How about that? Or what about Scientology?
It just seems to me that the more of a religious fanatic you are, the less of a sense of humor you have.
I don’t find Madonna funny in the least. I think she’s desperate and transparent. I’ve thought that shince I saw her writhing on the floor in her torn underwear.
Actually, that’s kind of a funny bit: The bored Catholic Leaguers hanging out in their offices, playing ping-pong, reading the newspaper, chilling out, when someone says, “Oh shit. Madonna’s at it again. I guess we need to be offended?” Ping pong game continues. “Yeah … someone should probably go out and say something about how, yadda yadda, we’re all offended and shit.” “Okay – I’ll do it. We can just use the statement from the last time she went on tour … is that cool?” “Yeah, whatever.”
I know!! It comes off as robotic and so unconvincing. If he were cool (and seriously, why can’t they find someone cool for that job?) he would hire someone from Comedy Central to write jokes for him ABOUT Madonna et al., and start spitting those out instead of his dull, defensive shite. The church’s numbers would swell!!
Sheila,
Hahahaha! I posted my last comment before I saw yours. I kind of hope that is how it goes down — that actually IS funny!
Alex,
I don’t know you, but PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE do a one-woman parody of Scientology!!! I will fly to LA for it!
What disgusts me isn’t the imagery, it’s the amount of money she makes; how she rips off everyone else’s ideas, how desperate she is to be talked about, and how boring and predictable she is. What disgusts me is that she makes so much money doing this, how much the tickets cost, that anyone would pay to go see her, then is so hypocritical as to mock the people who help her make so much money, and uphold her values.
Just remember, Alex … if you do a parody of Scientology, you may eventually have to come face to face with this…. and I wouldn’t wish that on ANYONE.
Sheila
I just downloaded that pic. I almost fell off my damn chair. Curse you for that.
Another Sheila
A one woman Scientology show. Hmmmmmm……..
It’s terrifying, isn’t it? It’s like the gaping maw of mindless hell.
Terrifying? It’s a bloody masterpiece!
hahahaha
The teeth … for the love of God, the TEETH!!!!!
hahahahahahahaha Like: whatcha laughin’ about Tom??????
The blinding white hetero teeth!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love this blog: from Madonna to Tom in 60.
Ooooh, Alex, I smell a one-woman show title!
Well, they’re both tools brainwashed by cults, so at least there’s common consistency.
If he were cool (and seriously, why can’t they find someone cool for that job?) he would hire someone from Comedy Central to write jokes for him ABOUT Madonna et al., and start spitting those out instead of his dull, defensive shite.
Another Sheila – if he were cool, he would WORK for Comedy Central and skewer her on his show.
I’d have her dancing in a full burqa that was so long she’d be totally invisible, and then have Bill al-Donohue of the Muslim League call in to protest. “We’re not sure quite who that was and it was impossible to tell what she was doing under all that fabric. A couple of us thought that maybe it was kinda sexy, and it made Fred want to have a cold beer (peace be upon him). Anyway, death to her, whatever she did, whoever she is!”
//death to her, whatever she did, whoever she is//
hahahahahaha
Alex,
What did you mean when you said:
If she wants to keep up this pretense about being “a chameleon” (which I also don’t buy)
What don’t you buy about it? I’m loving this discussion, btw.
Venereal Spice named her daughter after Madonna (“No one else has that name, apart from the Virgin Madonna and the singer, whom I love.”).
Apparently, the syph has gone to her brain.