… written by another very very funny Emily. We all know who the FIRST very very funny Emily is – but I regularly read Emily’s stuff on Progressive Boink, and she pretty much always makes me laugh out loud.
I loved her comment on Mandisa. YUP.
The running joke about Lisa Tucker’s Soviet eyebrows …
And also – I love that her favorite was Elliot as well. She described his performance style as “Blue-eyed soul crossbred with extreme nervousness.”
hahahaha so true!!
Also: “The melted visage of Clay Aiken.” Can’t stop laughing ……
Anyhoo, enjoy!
“Then Prince is gone, and it’s like ‘okay, do you want the bitchy singer chick from your high school or the goofy lounge lizard 0.2 Joe Cocker to perform.’ It’s like choosing between dirt and stinky dirt.”
Bwahahahahahaahaa! We really do get the Idol we deserve.
And the whole “MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE” thing – so so funny.
oh my god. that made me shake with laughter. ‘deaf, diabetic’.
also the david hasselhoff crying…i had to look away from my screen to try and contain myself.
I know!!! It was SO WEIRD.
//Lisa Tucker singing a sweet little version of “Alfie,” but looking, as always, like she wants to kill me for beating her hockey team in the 1980 Olympics.//
hahahahahahaha
i love that everyone loves Burt Bacharach songs…its universal…even the most cynical bloggers kvell over his songs..cool. Her comments are soo right on.
//By the end of the show the stylists had made him into a pretty adorable little hobgoblin. //
he was on Regis and Kelly this morning..Vinve Vaughan was teh co-host..Elliot is short!!! or Vince is gigantic…Elliot’s mom had hip surgery…he sang well..he needs an eye job.
I want all of you ladies to imagine a lisping 85 lb 16 year-old singing about your “sweet little pussycat lips.” Then go wash yourself with lava soap.
Dang now I not going to get any work done this afternoon… Not that I did any this morning as I was also watching the very large Vince with Kelly this morning just like mitchell
I think Vince is huge!! He seemed toweringly tall in Swingers, anyway. Or maybe it’s just that Jon Favreau is short.
he’s freakin funny as well
he’s freakin funny as well… but he does have a pretty wimpy throw (only people who saw the show will know what I’m talking about)
Vince IS huge. He’s like 6’5″ or something. Did you ever watch Sex & The City? He was on an episode as Sarah Jessica Parker’s love interest and next to him, she looked like a flea.
A skinny, skinny flea.
i think he was being careful since he was throwing a football at an aged man with a heart condition..i looked away from the tv when they showed him at Wrigley Field..was that wimpy too??? he looked funnier and foppish as he ran(like a girl)towards Regis for a chest bump…kinda hilarious actually…Regis male-bonding with anyone besides Kathy Lee Gifford(nee Epstein..with her nose job and her X-mas cds)..why is it still a boy’s WORST fear to be told that he “throws like a girl”..i dont even like playing baseball but i have taught myself to throw one pretty damn well…so as not to hear that phrase..neurotic eh???
I love Vince Vaughan – always have.
I mean: DODGEBALL. Come ON.
Oh and don’t get me started on the “throws like a girl” thing.
Mitchell – please don’t ever say “nee” again.
Mkay? Especially not in the same sentence as Kathy Lee Gifford.
The Cubs toss WAS pretty bad… I seem to remember an ad with the hot looking, Gold medalist Jennie Finch pitching, with the words, something like, “Throws like a girl, you should be so lucky”
Lisa – oh that’s right!! He was on Sex & the city … was that when she was in LA?
I think he’s hot, in a very real-guy kind of way. He’s a bit blurpy, he uses humor really well, he’s not intimidatingly gorgeous – I like him a lot.
thanks for noticing the “nee”..it was used deliberately to piss u off! sort of like Jean’s impression of a Gimme a Break era Joey Lawrence!!!
oh my God I had totally blocked that out.
Wasn’t he singing “Give my regards to Buh-roaaad-way …”? Wasn’t that it?
thats the one!!! i must admit to thinking that he has grown up to be a smoking hottie…but her imitation of him as a precocious show-tune singing moppet is genius in its hostility.
It made her SO MAD. hahahahaha
i was taught to throw a baseball originally in college…on a nude beach in RI..by the sexually ambivalent and very good-looking boy who i was both in love with and hated…it should be a scene in a “coming-of-age coming out” movie of the week on Logo…hmm…maybe i should write it??!!
Besides “Give myRegards..”, Joey also loved to sing “When the Saints Go Marching In” because he and Nell got to dance in the Mardi gras parade like they were Professor Harold Hill and Marion the Librarian. Fucking ridiculous.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Jean!!! that is brillaint and sad that u remember that!!! Goodness i miss u!!!
I am aching right now. What a post. I was going to quote the Olympics line, Sheila! Don’t make me sic the People’s Eyebrows on you!
And I love how she “can’t make fun of [Meatloaf] knowing that,” but while she’s saying it she’s calling him two words I can’t say at Mass. Oh and about Elliott’s duet: Hes the little frog from ‘Spirited Away,’ and Mary totally No-Faced him. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! What a reference. I may have a new bookmark out of this.
Nightfly – it’s one of my favorite sites – have you ever been there?
Things to look out for over there:
— their crazy obsessive message-board-esque area called The Dugout – If you’re a baseball fan, this is a must-visit
— there’s a piece about top 25 Sesame Street memories which is truly classic
Lots of great stuff! My favorite is Emily – but the rest of them are great writers too.
And I know – the whole People’s Eyebrows – 1980 hockey reference just KILLED ME!!!!
Holy shit that was hysterical, and so dead on. Comparing the Hoff to Janet Jackson’s boob was a total riot.