Obsession Sunday: Rocky and Allison

— It was damn cold on Sunday. I finally am getting my share of winter, and I adore it. On Sunday I had heat, and I was happy because it was freezing outside. I’m also insane. Because I bundled up – or layered up, shall we say – and headed out for a run along the cliffs near my house. You know, right near where my dead boyfriend bit the bullet, lo those centuries ago. The wind was frigid, man. I wrapped my face up in a scarf so that only my eyes peeped out. Had the hat jammed on my head. Then the layered workout clothes – and once I started going I warmed up – but if I stopped for just one second, to tie my shoe or whatever, I felt like I would die. The cold seemed even more intense. But it was just so beautiful. The sun gleamed, the city of Manhattan pulsated and glowed across the shining Hudson, everything was bright, and pure, and crisp. I have no idea how far I went – but I was out for over an hour. I felt awesome when I got home – and it was only 9:30 in the morning, and I had already been to freakin’ Secaucus and back, or whatever it was. It took me forever to warm up.

— Allison and I were getting together at around 2, at her place. As always, we had an agenda. Which just cracks me up. I have no other friend like her – and we just value this part of our relationship so much. It’s hard to describe – but basically it’s like this: I go to her place. And she has DVR’ed a bunch of stuff she knows I would love – so we can watch it together – and we’ll pick out a movie that either she has seen and she feels I need to see – or I’ll bring a moive that I have seen and I feel she needs to see – and we lie in bed and watch the movie – and basically usher the other person into the obsession. It’s hysterical – we’ve been doing this with each other since we became friends, and it’s SO FUN. Like – we want to be there when the other watches the movie that we love. Like when she made me watch The Family Stone with her. It’s really fun, by the way. Or when I made her watch The Rookie. This has been going on forever – and is also not just about movies – we do this with books as well (although we don’t hover over each other, obviously, as we read each other’s recommendations). But we’re great sharing partners – it’s all about SHOW AND TELL. It’s so hilarious – we get a bit manic. Like I will walk into her apartment and she will announce, “Okay, so we have a lot to do today …” Meaning: a backlog of episodes of 48 Hours or Dominick Dunne’s show (we love shows about rich people committing heinous crimes. We love shows having to do with forensic analysis. We love shows having to do with pampered teenagers going on mad Matrix-esque rampages). So then we sit down, and start to watch. We have an agenda. And we get manic. Like – there’s a lot of stopping and starting here. Because the person who is obsessed must stop and explain the obsession along the way … and fill in the other person on what they might be missing, on all of the OCD details acquired along the way. This would drive so many people insane. But we love it.

— So. Our agenda for Sunday. We had a LOT to get done.

1. I needed to see the last 3 episodes of Extras. I ain’t got no TV at the moment … and Allison and I love that show so much … and she’s already seen them (naturally) but just needed to be there as I experienced them.

2. Allison had saved a 20/20 for us to watch together. I think she had already seen it. But she needed (yes: NEEDED) to see it with me. It had all of the elements that we adore:
1. cults
2. teenagers with guns (preferably good-looking teenagers)
3. bloodshed in small motels – with crime-scene photos of crumpled blood-stained bodies
4. intensive forensic analysis
It is amazing how many shows out there fit that bill, exactly.

So she had saved up a doozy for us.

3. Oh, and she had said to me, “And bring on the Rocky shit. I’m ready.” So I brought Rocky over. Allison had seen it when she was a kid, and that was it – saw none of the sequels – said to me, ‘This might as well be the first time I’ve ever seen the movie, for all I remember it.” So this would be a THRILLING day.

— I had really liked getting the blood pumping that morning so I decided to walk down into Hoboken and pick up the PATH from there into Manhattan. This is a 2 mile walk, I guess, something like that. Along an exposed cliff, with all of the city unfurling below. Gorgeous. Wind-whipped. But I kind of overdid it, in terms of the amount of exercise I did this past weekend. I could barely walk on Monday.

— I arrive at Allison’s – and by now, it’s … well, I kind of felt like I would never be fully warm ever again – the cold was in the marrow … so her place was cozy, with hissing heat, and actual condensation on the windows – because it was so toasty warm inside! Allison was in a tanktop and overalls – and she had pretty much joined the staff of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Her bed was standing up against the wall. She had a screw gun in one hand, and a level in the other. Everything was pushed to the side and she had put another shelf into her exposed brick wall – it looked great. Oscar the dog leapt upon me in a frenzy when I walked in. Charlie the cat sat back and glowered at me resentfully. I tried to give him love but he kind of scorned me. Allison was all about her Murphy’s Oil Soap that you spray on the floor directly – (this will change my life) – as well as the vacuum-sucked bags for your sweaters, towels, whatever – if you want to store your stuff and have it not take up any room. Allison showed me how they work, rapturously. Such items will change our lives.

— We both were hungry so we decided to venture out into the freezing day to find food. Allison put her bed back in place – put it all back together – and we admired her shelf-building handiwork for a bit. We also were kind of aware of the fact that we had a lot to get done that day – we laughed about it. “Okay, I know we have a lot to do today … but can we go grab some food?” We needed sustenance for our plan of attack.

— Off to Tavern on Jane. I love it there. It’s a real tavern, you know? Dark wood, exposed brick, nice clientele, bar food, shepherd’s pie … Fire in the fireplace. People were there – a nice crowd – but not an insanely packed Super Bowl crowd. We got a table by the wall, and ordered food, and chowed down. Great talk – about our lives, about mediocrity – accepting it, fighting it – about our vague plans for the future – how we don’t know how things will work out … but we know we want to change.

— Satisfied, we hurried through the increasingly biting wind to Allison’s steam-room of an apartment. I had brought my slippers. Because it’s just not right to watch hours of television without those fur slippers on. We got ourselves all set up on her bed. We had this serious-eyed focus to us – it just cracks me up. Pillows set up, animals fed … We decided to start with Extras – we did end up taking a detour into Bloodshed/Cult … which was a surprisingly easy segue, believe it or not.

— So. About The Extras. First of all: I adored the first season. Every damn second of it. But I was REALLY pleased to read this – which I think is spot on. Something is going ON in this second season – Gervais and Merchant are taking it to a really interesting and relentless place … It’s truly a cynical show – and yet … it maintains its humor. It’s bitter – but it’s not off-puttingly bitter. Fascinating. And the guest-spots. The guest spots!!!

— Allison had told me about the 3 we would be seeing – “Today, we will be seeing David Bowie, Daniel Radcliffe, and Chris Martin … and I have to say – this totally shocked me – but my favorite one was Chris Martin … Wait until you see him. I’m a little bit in love with him now. It’s my favorite of all the three – but they are all great.”

— We started off with the Bowie one. Hilarious. Just the horror of that last scene … with Bowie – BOWIE!! Freakin’ David Bowie … going off on a spurt of creativity at the sight of poor Andy. “Pug … pug … Short little loser …” and with every edit he made – it would get more mean-spirited. Like suddenly he changed a word, so that the new one would be “Fatty” – and you could see Andy hope that maybe … maybe … Bowie would say something NICE … but … Oh. No. The VIP area has become a horror show. You think it will be great in the VIP area, like your whole life will be different … but actually it’s tremendously terrible, with stars like David Bowie barely giving you the time of day, and then creating a song for the whole bar to sing about what a fat loser you are. I loved how Maggie – so obliviously cruel – she means well, she can’t help herself – sat next to Andy, bopping to the beat … and he kept glancing at her like: “How could you?” and she’d stop herself … but she always just makes those choices, not out of mean-ness – but just because she’s a bit dense … and has no impulse control. It was hysterical – I loved how Bowie’s eyes got all serious and far away as the idea for the new song came over him. Brilliant!!

— Then came the Daniel Radcliffe one which was – to quote Mitchell – “sheer liquid joy”. Honest to GOD. There was so much about it that was absolutely ridiculous, so stupid, SO funny … First of all: Dame Diana Rigg with a condom on her head. Seriously – only Ricky Gervais. BRILLIANT. The expression on her face too! hahahaha Like – she was barely annoyed. Just kind of flat, dead-eyed. I loved how Daniel Radcliffe just kept trying to be cool and grownup (“I’ve done it with a girl …. intercourse-wise.”) – except he’s wearing a Boy Scouts uniform and his mother hovers on the edge of every interaction he has. I really love these big stars who make fun of themselves and their image so openly. It’s so FUN to watch. I loved how when Radcliffe suddenly got busted by the dwarf (who was a RIOT) – for hitting on the dwarf’s wife – Radcliffe looked down at the dwarf for one instant, had no idea how to handle the confrontation, and then looked up and called out randomly, “MOM?” We howled. I LOVED seeing this young actor futz around with his image, try to smoke, order a “cup of joe”, trying to be all cool, announcing that he has “a condom” – but the way he says it you can just tell that the whole thing is a novelty to him. Like – you can only have ONE condom in your lifetime. A condom is a precious thing. Naturally he snaps it across the room like a balloon and it lands on Diana Rigg’s head. Also: seeing Ricky Gervais kick a dwarf in the stomach … look down at the crumpled body … and then say, as though he’s trying to will himself back before the incident, “No … no … no ….” Then he calls out, lamley, “It was in self-defense!” WHAT? How on earth could kicking a dwarf be in self-defense?? That dwarf (who works all the time as well) was hysterical. Dressed up in his stupid little leprechaun outfit, and being all offended because people keep hitting on his wife. I thought the whole episode was great. Also because – as far as the tabloids are concerned – Andy has, in the space of a 2 day period – punched a Down’s Syndrome kid in the head, and drop-kicked a dwarf across a soundstage. I am howling.

— But I love this show because there’s this undercurrent of true melancholy there. That last theme song … it’s got that ACHE to it, and yet you can’t quite point to where the ache IS. It’s the human condition. The show is quite genius.

— Allison was beside herself because the Chris Martin one was next and she was so excited to watch it with me. I’m not a Coldplay fan – or, wait – I was for about 2 seconds, when they first came out – and then I was like: Sigh. Whatever guys, I get what you’re going for, and I am totally over it. And there always seemed to be something annoyingly self-consciously sincere about Chris Martin – it turned me off. But my God – the Extras episode with him … To me, it shows him in a whole new light. I have totally newfound respect for him because he was able to make fun of his own image – and totally mess around with it – and then there was the blooper at the very end of the episode when he and Gervais look at each other, and totally cannot hold it together anymore – and just BURST into laughter. I love Chris Martin now. He’s got a sense of playfulness, and also … he maybe takes his music seriously, as well he should … but anyone who can go on a show and do THAT … tells me he is not totally lost in Deeply Ironic Self-Consciously Sincere Land. He was adorable. The version of Chris Martin he played was: completely a careerist, even at the most inappropriate times – like during a photo shoot for some Help Save Africa campaign. He wears a Coldplay T-shirt to the photo shoot – and points to it as the cameras click. He wears sunglasses. He asks the Africa person if maybe it would be a good idea to have the new Coldplay song as the theme for the “Help Save Africa” campaign. It’s hysterical … watch how overly serious he is, but so COCKY, and so … CLUELESS. I also loved the following line on multiple levels: They’re about to take his picture, and he says, arrogantly, “Let’s make this quick, okay? I gotta get home. Gwyneth’s making drumsticks.” I HOWLED at that line. It’s such a BUST – on Gwyneth’s seriousness, on her vegetarianism … but it shows a sense of humor about the whole thing that I just found awesome. LOVED it. “Gwyneth’s making drumsticks.” Allison and I were seriously crying with laughter. And the duet that makes up the final scene of that episode … you can see Chris Martin – with the sunglasses on – trying desperately to just keep it together and not laugh … to make it to the end of the song. You could see Gervais sing right next to his ear, in that squeaky voice – and Martin would look off into the distance, and you just KNEW that the guy was DYING to laugh. So that big BURST at the very end, when they finally could not take it anymore – was just beautiful to me.

— Great show.

— Oh, forgot to talk about our detour. This happened during the David Bowie one – or maybe in between Bowie and Radcliffe. Oscar the dog stood at the front door of the apartment, staring at Allison, with his head cocked. He looked adorable, quizzical, and … purposeful. He also had scratched at the bottom of the bathroom door, a clear signal of what he needed. So Allison bundled up – to take him out to do his business – and in the meantime, because she could not bear me watching ANY of Extras without her – set me up with the 20/20 episode.

— It was about a cult I knew a lot about. Surprise surprise. Allison returned with Oscar 20 minutes later, and I said, “I know all this stuff.” However, the intricacies of the murder and the planning thereof – was all new to me. Allison and I watched … and discussed … and stopped the show to talk about finer points … to theorize … we talked about cults, and brainwashing, and how glad we were that some of them got out, how horrible it must have been, what must it feel like, how we didn’t blame the murderer at ALL for what he did. Completely justifiable homicide as far as I’m concerned.

— Once we started the 20/20 thing, we couldn’t stop it – so we watched it through to the end and then went back to Extras.

— Hours have now passed. We have not moved from the bed. The animals loll about. Charley the cat hangs out on top of the fridge, staring down at us. Oscar the dog cannot bear not to be the center of attention. He is constantly coming over to us – at the peak moment of whatever Extras episode we are watching – and nudging us with a slimy drool-coated baseball. Telling us that it is time to PLAY. When you say “No, not now” – this dog stares at you with … uncomprehending yet stubborn eyes. Like: No? What? I do not speak that language. It’s hilarious.

— Allison and I order a pizza. Tavern on Jane is now hours in the past and we are hungry again.

— We are also now facing … Rocky. It’s time. And isn’t it so funny that we both were kind of nervous?? I am laughing out loud at our friendship right now. Allison gave me a kind of shy serious glance and said, “So. Are we ready?”

— So then we watched Rocky. I made her watch the interview with Stallone I have first – just for CONTEXT. Bless Allison for knowing that she needed CONTEXT. That the movie would not be the same without CONTEXT. Allison and I watch movies in exactly the same way. It is truly a kindred spirit type thing. We have the same obsessions, almost the same taste, the same eye for detail, and the same love of certain types of moments.

— The Stallone interview was awesome and I just had such a great time watching it with her, seeing her discover him, and who he is, and how endearing and articulate he really is. It set up the movie perfectly.

— The pizza arrived. Chow.

— Then. The movie. This has been solely a private experience for me – this Rocky thing – except for sharing it on the blog, of course … but I sit at home, and I watch the thing, and I listen to the commentary, and it’s all about ME. So to sit there, with her – someone who didn’t remember it – that was key to the excitement – to watch her truly discover it … It was just AWESOME. So fun!!! Allison’s not a boxing fan at all, so to see her – during the last fight – punching the air – as though she were Rocky punching Apollo – hahahahahaha. The movie just works, what can you say.

— Funny moments I remember:

— Oscar the dog barking up at the dog in the movie. Every time the dog in the movie barked, Oscar would LOSE IT. He was protecting us from the movie dog. Thank you so much, Oscar. For being SUCH a good guard dog. He stood on the bed, right in front of us – ass in our faces – and barked up at the TV – and all Allison and I could see – our entire field of vision – was Oscar’s anus – which made a strange convulsion every time he barked. I didn’t ASK to get a close-up of a winking anus but that was what I had to deal with in that moment. But it was so hysterical – the dog in the movie barks quite a bit – so Oscar would rush up to the TV – and stand there – desperately trying to somehow crawl thru the screen to meet his foe, sphincter puckering in the wind.

— Oh, and this was great. In the scene I mentioned here – the scene where Rocky sits on the couch, and Adrian starts to come on to him and Rocky rebuffs her – so anyway – by this point Allison is totally hooked into this story. You could just tell. It was awesome. So when Rocky pushes Adrian off, Allison cries out – as though it hurt her personally, “Oh no! Is he mad at her?????” (I am laughing as I type this. I love you, Allison!!) And I said, frustrated, “Well, no – it’s just that Rocky is realizing that –” Allison suddenly retreated and said, “Oh God. I’m totally being the girl right now, aren’t I?” I’m still laughing about this. It was so cute. Like – SCREW whether or not he beats Creed! WHY IS HE BEING MEAN TO ADRAIN? hahahaha But it’s great because the movie works on BOTH levels – that’s why those scenes are so good. But I just loved Allison’s pained shocked gasp: “Is he mad at her??????”

— There’s one scene where Rocky stands on an overpass – waiting for the loan shark to come get him. Behind him is a scene of total urban poetry – there’s long sun rays on the buildings – not a speck of green anywhere – but none of this is SET – it’s all accidental – and it has that feel to it. Nothing is “lit” professionally – they caught these moments on the fly, this wasn’t a normal union film – they didn’t have permission to film on the steps, etc. So the shots have a reality to them that bigger budget movies don’t have. There’s mess there – but there’s also beauty. Anyway – it’s this one beautiful shot (I need to start doing some screen captures – so I can illustrate my oh so brilliant points) – and Rocky is all in black, the bricks in the black kind of glow in the sunset – and an elevated train rattles by – and Allison (who has always had a very keen and good eye for art direction) said, “God. I just LOVE the look of this movie.” You can feel it from that first scene in the boxing club – the grittiness of it – the … it’s borderline amateur, in terms of how it’s lit. Like look at the shadows cast by Rocky when he’s in his apartment. Those are big stark shadows, obviously from the huge lights pointed at him – those are not shadows from any LAMP he has in his apartment. But it just doesn’t matter – because the emotion of the movie, and the reality underlying each and every scene is what REALLY matters. You don’t even notice these things. Funny thing, by the way: In the scene where Stallone grabs the little girl out from the group on the corner and walks her home – as the two of them walk away together, you can see the Hertz equipment truck in the background. Hahahaha They didn’t have time to move the truck – they only filmed in Philly for 5 days … so they just left the Hertz truck in, hoping nobody would notice the incongruity of it. I never noticed until Stallone laughed about it in the commentary. But that’s part of the movie’s charm. What you are seeing is often the first and only take – because they didn’t have the money to do 100 takes to get it right. You had to be right in the first take. That’s where that sometimes unbearable rawness comes from. You can’t BUY rawness like that. It has to be authentic. Don’t try to create it, or re-create it, or comment on it, or be ironic about it. Otherwise you look like an ass. Rawness like that is money in the bank if:
1. It is authentic
2. It is used as the backdrop for a really great story

As I remember more of our watching moments I will recount them – but it was just SUCH a fun experience – watching it with her. I re-lived the movie all over again, and seriously, I can’t have enough of THAT, now can I?

The funniest thing is this:

Allison, like I said, had seen the movie, the first one, when she was a kid, and never gave it a second thought. Never saw the sequels, had no desire to see them. She also never gave Stallone a second thought – never really thought of him as a “contendah” in terms of acting and stuff.

But needless to say – she just fell in love with the movie.

And the next day I get the following email from her, which made me laugh out loud. I’m still laughing about it:

oh, and rocky bobbed and weaved his way in and out of my dreams last night and i woke up in a panic at one point. rocky and adrianne. adrianne and rocky. do they staty together????? i can’t believe i failed to ask you this question. did their romance endure through 2, 3, 4, 5, AND 6? (or were there only 5?). after you left i was talking to my mom on the phone telling her about rocky….and she was like, “yeah, i was never much of a rocky fan.” and i was like, “no no no, mom. you don’t understand. you just don’t understand.” at which point i launched into a diatribe about steady cams and a script written in three days and a having to sell the dog and the macho tough with a gentle heart and sets that weren’t sets at all and the sweet love affair where gaps were filled and the personal victory of transcending the limitations we set for ourselves and the movie’s raw gritty realness that has been so readily eschewed in today’s films for florid cinematic polish. at some point i’m pretty sure she put the phone down and went and took a bath or something.

but (in my whiniest most hopeful voice) do adrianne and rocky stay together?

“diatribe about steady cams”

I can’t stop laughing. She is now an expert.