The wisdom of children, by Simon Rich I was laughing out loud reading it.
UNCLE: Im having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
That first “sketch” is just KILLING me.
And
Apparently, young people hate the war so much theyre willing to participate in a musical sex festival as a protest against it.
Oh, my God. They must really be serious about this whole thing.
Funny funny!! Love it. The whole “kids table” thing killed me. Here’s the whole thing.
My childhood in a New Orleans Catholic school did not include orange Unicef boxes. I feel cheated. We did have little pastel-colored collection envelopes that we had to bring to church every week filled with spare change.
“For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!”
I only remember getting UNICEF boxes once during school. And I kept the money. I am so going to hell for that.
This part is my favorite
MOM: Im angry! Im angry all of a sudden!
DAD: Im angry, too! Were angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
Cause it totally captures the roller coaster that is the little children around here. And part of what makes the manic mood swings bearable. Cause they don’t last. At all. Just when you think you have a handle on it, ooophs, no, manic laughter eruption. Nope, no crisis, nothing to see here, ha ha hah. Must be naptime.
I know, Carrie – I loved that part too. Random grown-up anger … what is going on over there? Oh, nothing … they’re all just talking about sex and how much they prefer you over me … hahahaha
Emily – you’re like Simon keeping your Unicef money! I love how he imagines the Unicef leaders saying, “I think we should let Simon keep the money.”
Well, the money is supposed to be for children after all…I mean, why siphon it through the bureaucracy? It’s actually rather efficient to just keep the damn box when you think about it.
I just love in his little skit how the child has no concept of UNICEF except as … something to do with Halloween. hahaha
I know! Thinking back, the only thing I knew about UNICEF really was that it had something to do with little African kids that had flies on them. I guess I figured the money was for cans of Raid or whatever.
Me, too! My mom wouldn’t let us participate in Trick-or-Treat-for-UNICEF for whatever fundy reason she made up, so I was always vaguely worried about those African kids (with flies! Why were there always flies?! I blame Concert for Bangladesh.) who weren’t getting my neighbor’s pennies.
But shoot. More Snickers for me.
Hilarious! I think there are a lot of things like “UNICEF” when you’re a kid, that adults are so familar with that they never bother to explain. So kids get the funnest ideas about what they might actually be.
Marisa – hahaha Yeah, totally.
there was the whole debacle of my “flying up” ceremony from Brownies to Girl Scouts. Nobody had ever said to me, “Sheila, the ‘wings’ are actually not big feathery wings, just a little pin … and the ‘flying up’ is a euphemism. Yu won’t ACTUALLY fly.” And I was devastated when all I got was a stupid little pin and remained gravity-bound.
The one about walking out of lectures has me cracking up – a couple of my temps participated in the Rutgers walkout, and I’m picturing them personally telling the President, “We’re going to leave school and walk around outdoors all day long and CHANT SLOGANS! And then we’ll go for pizza and weed! You can’t come! That will show you!”
Sheila,
Don’t even get me started on the “bridge” to Cadets. Some bridge.