— Thunder last night. Rain.
— Movies, writing, movies, writing.
— I’m lonely right now. I am missing a lot of people. I miss my friends, all of them, and Cashel. I am alone too much. I’m busy, that’s good, but lonely too. I miss my parents too.
— Movies, writing, movies, writing.
— My apartment looks like a bomb hit it. I’m using it basically as a pit-stop right now … and I need to have a good long organizational/cleaning purge but it won’t be for a week or so. I just don’t have the energy or the time right now.
— I read the novel We Need to Talk About Kevin tie-in: A Novel
— Saw The Third Man last night. I’ve been seeing so many movies that the thought now of seeing a movie in my one night off was almost ikky – but it was a rainy night, I was exhausted, and book-less. I love Joseph Cotten. And I am certainly not the first to say it – but Orson Welles’ entrance in this film is one of the best (if not the best) entrances of any character in any movie ever made. PERIOD.
— I hurt myself on the bus last night. A metal bar stuck out of the ripped upholstery of the seat (the bus is so damn ghetto), and I, exhaustedly, threw myself into the seat, and stabbed my own butt cheek with the sharp metal. It didn’t break the skin – or rip my clothes – thank God – I would have had to go to the hospital – but it hurt like a motherfucker. Damn ghetto bus. My entire left ass-cheek is black and blue and a sickly green right now. I’m so bummed. Literally.
— Saw Grey Gardens again last week. Went with my sister Siobhan. It was great – a real indulgence – and great to see her and catch up.
— I need to go back to Rhode Island. I miss my friends, my family.
— I need to get back into exercising. I’m too busy right now and I feel bad about it – kind of out of control.
— Marvelous post. God, I so relate. That’s an amazing blog in general. I love her voice.
— It’s a funny thing, talking about love with somebody who interrogates people for a living. It gives the conversation a clarity and an urgency that it might not otherwise have. His assessment, after 45 minutes of questioning me and listening intently to my answers? “I think you need to dumb down.” I am still laughing about that.
— Stopped off at the Virgin Megastore in Times Square last night – a place I normally avoid like the plague – but I wanted to pick up the new Tori Amos. Ne-yo was downstairs, signing copies of his new CD – and there was a screaming crowd, cordoned off, waiting in line … waves of screams emanating up the escalator. Found Tori and then saw a huge display of soundtracks. Started browsing and saw the soundtrack of the film Jesus Christ Superstar – which I had had on tape – and it never made the transfer to CD … and suddenly I realized how much I NEEDED it. It was 40 bucks. Ouch. But I bought it anyway. I came home and listened to some of it, as the thunder rolled in the sky. I am so excited to have it in my life again. “Damned For All Time”. “Just DON’T say I’m … daaaaaaaa-aaaaaamned foooooo-or a-aaalll ti-ime …” Goosebumps.
— Ann Marie was in town this past weekend for 2 days and I was so busy I couldn’t see her. sniff.
— Screening tonight at 10:30 p.m. I think David is going to be there – a mutual friend of ours is in the film – and actually, Mitchell came to town as of yesterday – so he might come to the screening too. That would be my only chance to see him.
— My dear friend Kate is in tech this week for Arcadia – opening at the Court in Chicago next week. I’ve been thinking a lot about her. Missing her, too. I want to try to get out there in the next month or so, to visit friends, but also to see Arcadia. It’s been a while since I saw her act. Too long.
More actual snapshots below
It’s awesome when you live on the edge of gang territory.
Sunday. 7-4. A 20 minute pitstop to check the score, in between Kapuscinski and my 2nd movie of the day.
Making fun of Tucker Carlson never gets old. It is one of our new favorite activities.
Under the highway.
Colony Music. Heaven on earth.
Pitstop # 854.
Tribeca.
Spectacular spectacular. (Oh, and happy birthday Empire State Building.)
En route.
What we do when we are bored. And there is a dry erase marker in the vicinity.
Andre used to walk down the aisle of the supermarket and say to people, “Hi, my name is Judas and I’m 5.” – Now he’s picking out the Jesus Christ Superstar music on his base guitar.
Can’t wait to see you – soon!!!
Bets – hahaha I remember Andre’s feeling of kinship with Judas.
He does have the best songs.
Carl Anderson died a year or two ago and my heart broke a little.
Kind of like when Jack Wild died recently – characters from our lives!
I know – Jack Wild was definitely a big one.
I listened to Jesus Christ Superstar on the way in to the city this morning:
“My mind is clearer now
A-at last …
all – too – well
I can see
Where we all …
soon will be …”
shivers!
Arcadia’s opening in Chicago? My favorite play in the world in a city only 3 hours away! It’s a pity I have no money at all. I wonder if my parents could be persuaded to subsidize me even further?
Harriet – yes!! It’ll be at the Court – it opens next week, I think!
Love that play – but I have never seen it live. Weird!!
Here’s the link, harriet …
I went to see the Kansas State student production on it’s last night with a couple of friends as a sort of alternative to prom. I would have gone to see it again and again if only I could. The next year I discovered it in my college library and immediately put it on my Christmas list. I’d love to be able to see it again–it’s the sort of play that benefits from both reading and watching. Wonderful either way, but together each enriches the other.
Oh, wonderful! Thanks for the link.
Harriet – you are so right. It’s one of those rare rare plays that reads really well.
Sheila, I miss the s— out of you, and I’ve been thinking about you so much too. I’m over half-way done with Zero. Wow! Incredible! That the “idea” of zero needed to be invented. That zero and infinity are 2 sides of the same coin.
Yes, please come visit, but also please know that I couldn’t care less if you come see the show or not. I just want to see you.
That post of Alex’s that you had a link to the other day, about seeing her movie–OMG. There’s a paragraph in the middle of her post, or toward the end actually–about the millions of things going on simultaneoulsy in the universe–that made me think a lot about Arcadia, about being a parent, about everything. It was somethin’ else, that post. The whole idea of not being able to define what you’re feeling, but knowing that it’s important. . .the frustration of that as well as the beauty of it. God. ..
We need to talk again soon. I’m still tech-ing at the theatre and spending way too much time there. I’ll call you on a break. Oh, and the really crappy part: I have 2 shows on Mothers’ Day. My first Mothers’ Day.
Sheila, thanks so much for saying such nice things about my blog. I could despair, reading through all the reactions, but knowing that the people I admire do understand helps enormously.
Kate –
Oh man, with the 2 shows on Mother’s Day!! Isn’t that always the way it goes??
And I so agree about Alex’s post. It really made me tear up. Looking up … sniff, sniff.
Miss you!!
“Hmmm. Let’s just pretend that there’s this thing called zero ….”
Megan –
Oh yes, do not despair. There will always be those who don’t get it, or who don’t get you. Fuck them.
You’re wonderful. You speak so well of so many things that are in MY heart. I’m like – wow …. she feels that way too???
:)
Right. Not, like, despair for me. Just despair because there are so many not-funny people in the world. How can they be so not-funny? But there are also awesome people who’ll bring it in ways I’d never have expected, so I am lucky we can find each other.
I’m all excited that things in my heart are also in your heart. We must be on the right track.
//Just despair because there are so many not-funny people in the world. How can they be so not-funny?//
hahahaha That makes me despair too.
It’s like being born without a sense of smell or something.
I sympathize with that feeling of being over-scheduled with all the wrong things. Or at least, with things that aren’t feeding your soul at the moment. Thus the desire for family and close friends.
Rub some Aspercreme on that bruise. Seriously! That s**t works!!!
PS – I’ve re-started blogging – as you can see in the URL attached.
Hugs,
Chai
sweet papelbon picture. i’m worried about him right now, though. that “Kevin” book looks good…but i SWORE no more new books till i get some more old ones read…dammit…
Beth – ha. I know what you mean about the books. The Kevin book bumped a couple of my book choices down the list … but man, it was good. Really really scary.
Chai-rista – hooray, you’re back to blogging!! I have totally missed your site, let’s be honest!
And the good thing about my busy-ness right now is that it is with a lot of great and fun things – writing, seeing movies, and then writing about them … hahaha – like a job I was born to do!! …. but I get very disoriented sometimes if I don’t have enough free time.
And I miss my family … I’m feeling that ache, like I need to re-connect and stuff.
I need a good day or two where I have NOTHING scheduled, know what I mean??
I must get Aspercreme – thanks for the tip. My ass hurts.
First of all… sorry about your ass. That sounds *terrible*.
And secondly, I’m SO sad that we couldn’t see each other this past weekend… I’m sure that my disappointment just made you even MORE stressed out, but I couldn’t contain the fact that I was sad not to see you! You would have been so proud of me, just randomly tossing out phrases like, “So then we got on the 6 train and got off at Bleeker…” like I do that every day! :-)
Hope that your load eases as does the loneliness… let me know if you get to Chicago!
Ann – I loved our first conversation when I was like, “So where are you now?” And you were all breezy and blase, “Oh, I’m at a museum. You know. No big deal. No big deal at all.”
HA!!
I totally got your disappointment – I felt it, too. Like – when was the last time you and I were together on the east coast? Member when you came and stayed with me and Jen?? hahaha I think I was even still in school back then – or maybe just graduated.
That was really fun.
And yes – once the smoke clears after the Film Festival ends – I’ll plan my trip out there and totally let you know.
I hope you had fun at the Poisonous Mushroom restaurant!!
Sheil – how weird, because I just copied that same versoion of JC Superstar and have been listening to it non-stop. It just gets to me – “I have been spattered with innocent blood – I shall be dragged through the slime and the slime and the SLIME AND THE MUD!”
As they say, poor old Judas. It’s like me with Darth vAder all over again – I just feel so bad for him that he had to go down in history like that.
hahaha Yes!! Darth Vader! I love you for that. For your feeling sorry for Darth as a youngun. You’ve got a good heart.
I love the goopy singing at the Last supper …
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine …
Like: gentle????
Guys – get it together!!!
Yeah, like, did you pay attention to his whole “this is my body you eat” and “this is my blood you drink” – or were you guys just waiting for the jug to get passed to you? Really, it’s not a gentle pool of wine at all, it’s actually quite offensive
I am so so sorry about your ass. Awful.
And it’s funny — I recently bought the CD of Jesus Christ Superstar, too. The original concept album with Ian Gillan as Jesus and Murray Head (the “One Night in Bangkok” guy) as Judas. That one is my favorite. But I’ve been listening to “Heaven on Their Minds” incessantly for, oh, about 6 weeks.
I cannot stop.
Sheil – I’m the “mom” on Happening #60 starting tomorrow! When did I get old enough that I’m the mom! It’s been a blast getting ready though!
Bets – Oh God, that is so so cool. It’s going to be so intense! You have to tell me all about it.
Jean – hahahahahahaha
Totally!
And they’re all like having some hippie communal moment … missing the point totally.
tracey – I don’t know the original concept album … wow!! I only know the movie soundtrack.
But yes – Heaven on their Minds is just ….
GOD, it’s so good.
“Listen, Jesus, I don’t like what I see …
All I ask is that you LIS-TEN TO ME
We are occupied
Have you forgotten how put DOWN we aa-aaa-aaaaaaare…”
OH Sheila! your poor ass!
hey- your RI friends miss you too! come visit soon- I think its almost pool party season at Beth’s…
Mere –
I know – I’m just missing you guys something awful right now. argh. Missing everyone.
Where the heck is Beth these days, by the way? I so want to come home and hang out by the pool. Maybe week after next when i’m done with this festival.
I couldn’t help laughing at “Damn ghetto bus.” Sorry!
I really enjoy your posts like this – getting glimpses into Sheila Land. I feel so privileged!
HERE I AM! HERE I AM! I have been all caught up in Tom’s graduation festivities! (After all, it HAS been the 22 year bachelor degree… we have made it a week long celebration!)The pool will be open at the end of the month, but next weekend how about everyone come over? I believe Sheila will be here Saturday, so if it is warm we can hang outside and have a bonfire. I have a TON of brush to burn.
2007 Books Read
(in the order in which I finished them, understanding that very often I read many books at the same time). I count re-read books, by the way. I’ll include links to any posts or book excerpts I might have done…