Diary Friday: “we all trooped outside where we commenced what turned out to be an hour long snowball fight.”

Christmas of my junior year in high school.

DECEMBER 24

[Beside the date, I have written a star with emanating beams coming out of it. Bethlehem, etc.]

Finally I am getting into the Christmas spirit. I’ve been a drip these past few days. When we decorated our tree, I just couldn’t get into it. [Ah, adolescence] I haven’t been “into it” until today. I feel so excited. Tomorrow is Christmas!

And Diary, I swear. It is a blizzard outside. There’s more than an inch of snow! Today I went over Mere’s. The minute I stepped out of the car I was pelted madly with snowballs from all sides. They all exploded in my ears. I just stood there. I must have looked pretty pitiful just standing there, face like an albino, because all of a sudden I was surrounded by Mere, Jayne and Dolores –

Oh my God it is snowing so hard! I can hardly see the trees outside and everything across the street is covered in a veil of snow. Wow!

Anyway, all of them cooing “Ooohhh!” they took me into the house where Jayne gave me her presents. One was this lavendar stationary sprinkled with little purple stars and in one corner is this golden moon with a profile – it’s so pretty! Now I don’t have to write her letters to her on ugly yellow-lined paper and – Diary – are you sitting? [Can a diary sit?] – a lifesize poster of The Police. It’s gorgeous! I can’t wait to hang it up.

After that, we all trooped outside where we commenced what turned out to be an hour long snowball fight. Me and Jayne against Mere and Dolores. I am awful in snowball fights but it was so fun! Dolores once slipped and fell – splat – face forward into the snow. I doubt I’ve laughed that hard in a long time – it will be a timeless image. Then we switched partners – Me and Mere against Jayne and Dolores. It was so fun. Mere and I would huddle in conspiracy – in the end, we surrendered. Mere had been hit in the ear 3 times!

We went inside. I could not feel my toes. Mere ran around to get slippers for everyone. It was so cozy. Mrs. W. made us all chicken and star soup. I kept staring out the window. It was coming down so thickly! It was then that I started feeling Christmasy and all toasty warm inside.

See, every Christmas Eve there’s a gathering on the D’s lawn – all these families come, everyone sings Christmas carols – then Santa comes and hands out presents. After that, everyone goes into the D’s for food. Chicken wings, pizza, crackers, dip – The Hodges are always there. Anyway, I got home – it was madly blizzarding outside. We all bundled up and went to the D’s. Already it was dark, but God it was freezing. I mean, biting chilling cold with a sharp wind blowing little icy bits – Santa was late, so the whole circle was jumping up and down, chattering out carols. It was so nice – just a little group of people under the starry sky in the snow – if only it hadn’t been so freezing! Finally Santa arrived, all red and white – he sat in the chair to give out gifts. He took so long [Damn that Santa!] Everyone was so cold. I felt mildly ridiculous as I walked up to get my gift. I mean, I was the oldest one there. After Katy and I got our presents, we both ran into the house. I immediately changed into my hightops. My present was one of those magic 8-balls – they were quite the fad a million years ago. I didn’t know they were still manufactured! Of course, Kate and I sat around it asking it, “Does David love Sheila? Will he dance with her?” Etc. More than half the answers came out: Most definitely No.

Maybe I should ponder this over. [Yeah, I’m thinkin’ you should.]

Then we came home. We always exchange the family gifts Christmas Eve – the ones the kids have bought for each other and Mum and Dad. I couldn’t WAIT to see everyone open their presents. Oh yeah, I got Brendan his much desired hockey puck. He really wanted one. I love my family. I love everyone so much. I hope they can tell, even though I don’t show it. [Uhm ……. Sheila? Maybe you should, uhm, show it? Just a suggestion] Mum says she can tell but I sure don’t give her much to go by. And Dad. I’m getting misty-eyed now just thinking about him.

Brendan. Brendan and me have gotten so close thse past few months. I have the most hysterical brother in the world. Whatever he does now makes me laugh. Brendan gave me a little box with a painting on it that looks to me like a Renoir. Everyone knows I love little knick-knacks. And his card! Okay, last night: I honestly thought I was going to vomit I was laughing so hard. I had to run from Brendan to escape. Okay, there’s this really stupid show on called Boone, about a country farm boy in the 50s who wants to be a rock singer. Really really stupid. Brendan spent about an hour making fun of it. He’s like, “Everyone’s so stereo-typed. The stern but righteous father. All he ever says is, ‘Boone —— go to school.’ It’s like, ‘Oh, Dad, I’m in trouble! What do I do?’ ‘Go to school.'” But the funniest thing is – before a commercial break – they always say “Boone will continue in a moment” and they show a picture of Boone – he’s playing his guitar – and then they freeze him as he finishes in this Elvis pose. Brendan kept imitating that pose until I thought I was going to die from laughing so hard. I went to the bathroom at one point, and when I came out Brendan was standing right there in the doorway – in the Elvis pose. My Lord, I never thought something would ever strike me that funny. And – Brendan said, “Also, why did they name him Boone? They should have named him Beaver. Leave it to Boone.” When he said “Leave it to Boone”, that was the breaking point for me – I ran up the stairs to my room laughing so hard I thought my lungs would burn up – and Brendan was chasing me, doing the Elvis pose on each step.

So. That’s the preface. Brendan’s card is a hand-drawn picture of Boone: loafers, rolled-up jeans, Argyle sweater, guitar – in the Elvis pose – and he’s saying, “Leave it to me!” I am hanging it on my wall.

Siobhan gave me a little metal box with a painting of a huge mansion on it – it looks like the Brideshead Revisited house. Jean gave me a beautiful painted parrot. Siobhan is so so so cute. I gave those two some stickers – they’re both in the midst of sticker mania – they have sticker collections and sticker books – I loved loved loved seeing Siobhan’s cute little face light up when she opened hers. She was smiling as she spread them all out to look at each one – she said, “Thank you, Sheila!” but it wasn’t in a “dutiful” way and I felt so warm and happy inside. The same when Jean opened hers.

And when Mum and Dad opened theirs!! This is the first year I’ve had enough money to buy them things so I was really psyched. And I was worried because Mum doesn’t like me to spent money on her [which is so hysterical, considering my gift for her probably cost 10 bucks – IF THAT] but I wanted to. Mum opened hers first – she has laryngitis now and can only croak to be heard. But she started taking out the tissue and she smiled her “Mum” smile [I’m in tears right now as I type this] and croaked, “It seems to have a handle!” Then she took out her mug and her jaw just fell – her mug looked so beautiful to me. I think she was really happy. She admired it and kissed me. Dad’s present was exactly the same size so he was saying, “Hmm, I wonder what it could be!” He really liked his too. He said, “You know, I really do need one!” [More tears. God bless parents.] Dad said, “It seems like we’re the only family who doesn’t have a nice supply of mugs.” Mum croaked, “Yes, we have to do with tin baby cups and plastic Red Sox glasses.” Immediately, Mum went out to pour coffee in both of them – Dad kept looking at the paintings on his mug – I think they really did like that.

Oh, I’d love to be a professional gift-giver! I love it so much!!! I like it better than getting!

I’d better go to bed now or Santa’s not goign to come.

Oh yeah, wait – I was a little ‘worried’ (if that’s the word) that Siobhan didn’t believe in Santa. She’s so grown-up in most other ways and I want her to believe in him as long as she can. I believed in him until I was about 10!! [Yeah, well, you’re retarded.] Anyway, suddenly when we were all sitting happily with our gifts, Siobhan stood up – looking really worried and said, palms outstretched, “There are so many presents under the tree.” (Ones from relatives/godparents) “How is Santa gonna fit anymore?” Oh, I wanted to run over to her and squeeze and squeeze her!

We put out milk and cookies of course and she was so eager, rushing around in her feety pajamas, arranging the plate on the mantle.

Oh, she’s too cute for words! YAY!!

Thank you, God, Thank you for blessing me. I keep trying to be worthy of your love. I hope someday I can be!!