The Costume Montage

I’m going out of town tomorrow, so I thought I would post my montage of costumes thru-the-years, like I always do.

These are the photos that exist. I do remember other costumes but I lack evidence.

Ghost and witch.

Here’s a photo of my brother and me. I am a bunny rabbit. He, obviously, is a clown. The height of his hat is taller than his actual body. My mom made both of those costumes.

Here I am as a flapper. This is during my junior high years, my Eight is Enough pariah years. My best friend and I were obsessed with the 1920s. We loved flappers. We had seen Bugsy Malone. We were HOOKED. So we dressed up as flappers. Sadly, though, the neighborhood mothers, opening the doors to trick-or-treaters – all assumed that we were hookers. I don’t know. I think it’s PERFECTLY obvious that I am a flapper!!! This was my last year trick-or-treating.

Now we move on to college, when it becomes cool to dress up again. Here I am at a party with my college boyfriend. I was a blind mute French beggar. The sign around my neck says “J’ai faime!” (Quoi??)

My boyfriend didn’t wear a costume. JUST KIDDING.

He dressed up as a nerd.

Here we are at the start of the party, costumes intact, the illusion complete.

And here we are a couple hours, 2 makeout sessions, and many underage beers later.

Costumes not so pristine now. I love that picture.

At that same party – my friends Jackie and Mitchell dressed up as Jackie’s grandparents – who were FAMOUS to all of us. Chester and Millie. It was like one word. Chester and Millie, Chester and Millie. They died within days of one another. Truly devoted to each other. Anyway, as a tribute – Jackie and Mitchell dressed up (or should I say channeled) Millie and Chester. Here they are.

This is one of my favorite pictures of all time. Look at Mitchell’s EYES! He is completely in character. I am also particularly amused by Jackie’s mouth. Like: what is Millie saying to Chester? Is she calming him down? I hope so, cause he looks a little worried.

A year later, Mitchell and I joined forces and dressed up as Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick. Again, the expression on Mitchell’s face in this photo KILLS me. He looks so bored, so arrogant, so OVER it.

Jackie and me as the sweeney sisters.

A couple years after that – while we were living in Chicago – Mitchell and I got invited to a Halloween party. The whole Woody Allen-Soon Yi thing had just exploded, so we dressed up as Woody Allen and Mia Farrow. Please note that:

1. Mitchell is carrying Crime and Punishment
2. He is using photos of Geisha girls as a bookmark

So wrong. So funny.

The weirdest thing about it was that when we arrived at the party, NOBODY ELSE WAS IN COSTUME. We had somehow missed the memo that it was a “formal” party – so everyone’s in black suits and cocktail dresses and we show up looking like that. They weren’t even enough of a COSTUME to protect us. It just appeared that we were slobs who didn’t know how to go out in public.

A couple years ago, I was invited to a Halloween party where we had to dress up as someone who was actually dead. A person from history, what have you.

So yeah. I’m evil.

I have written “Helter Skelter” all over my arms and legs with red marker.

To make matters even more evil, I rode the subway to the party dressed like that. I had a huge pregnant belly as well. I got on the F train from Brooklyn, took it to 47th Street, and then walked through the crowds to the apartment where the party was which was on the east side. I was freezing. Now, it was Halloween night, so I certainly was not the only one in costume. I saw witches and warlocks and Playboy bunnies and Medusae and a couple of Chuckies and Buzz Lightyears. I sat on the subway surrounded by daemons from the deep. But there was something different about my costume. I was a walking crime scene. People looked at me once, grimaced and looked away, before glancing back to see if I really was who I seemed to be.

OR, even better, they just stared at me, shaking their head slowly in judgment and disapproval.

Here’s the side view of my pregnant belly as I dance with Jackie Kennedy and Mrs. Al Capone.

A couple of years earlier, along the same lines, I had gone to a Halloween party as Squeaky Fromme. It is obviously a theme. No pictures exist of that costume, but I still remember it fondly.