Snapshots

It’s been a long time. I just checked. The last “snapshots” I did was September 2020. !!! What a terrible terrible month. And the worst was yet to come. 2021 is like a lost year. Even though so much happened. But it’s just a blank in my memory, I have to remember it even existed. Time stopped for my family in 2020.

— I’ve been going to my niece and nephew’s Little League games. My sister works the concession counter. We talk about our lives, and occasionally scream, “GOOD EYE, COLTON” or “WAY TO HUSTLE, JORDAN!” or – if any actual PLAY happens – which is rare – like someone throwing to home and getting someone out – we scream like we’re at Fenway Park. It’s fun. Last night’s playoffs game was … a challenge. But everyone did play well!

— A couple weeks ago, Mum, Ben and I went to the beautiful Coolidge Corner theatre in Brookline to hear (and see) Amor Towles, who was giving a talk on his new novel The Lincoln Highway. (I wrote about my experience with Towles’ first novel Rules of Civility.) I then went on to devour his magnificent second novel A Gentleman in Moscow. Mum was reading it at the same time. So we had some great discussions about it. Turns out Amor Towles and I both wrote for Library of America’s Moviegoer site – he wrote about Dinner at Eight, and I wrote about East of Eden. Rules of Civility came out in 2011, but that was during a period where I was just learning to read again, after being unable to in 2009, into 2010. I could barely read anything, but fiction especially was a challenge. So I was out of touch with new books. This is my only excuse. Finally, last year, Ted told me about the book, as well as his new book. A Gentleman in Moscow was an international hit, it’s been translated into (mumble mumble) languages, and I believe is being made into a limited series starring Kenneth Branagh. I’ll be watching. I signed up for Towles’ newsletter, and heard he was doing a reading in Brookline. I was so excited, so I quickly bought three tickets, and called Mum to tell her “Here is what you will be doing on such-and-such a date.” We had SUCH a good time. It was such a treat – and still a novelty – to be out in the world, with people in a theatre. Towles is an amazing and engaging speaker. He gave us the history of the “Lincoln Highway” – the actual highway, not the book – and all of it was new to me. He is such a good storyteller. He had visual aids (this pic is of the Lincoln Highway today, taken by Towles). Afterwards, the three of us went out for Chinese food. I slept over. Very special family time.

— I’ve been down in New York almost more than I’ve been up here. I’m going to Chicago – my first time on a plane since the pandemic. I’m doing a mini road-trip too. I was going to get a cat earlier this winter, but it’s a good thing I didn’t (at least for now). I’m just not here enough. It’s taken me forever to “move in”. I’m coming up on a year in this place and I am still kind of not moved in. I mean, the books are up, and I finally organized my closets – I had to actually invest in a closet organizer because there’s just way less space than my old place. I’m pretty pleased with myself for thinking this all out and putting it in order. Baby steps. It’s only been about seven months. Hell, longer. I also hung all my pictures. Or, not all. See what I mean? Everything’s still, like, 3/4s of the way done.

— I went on a date and the guy said at one point, “I just think we should go back to Leave It to Beaver times.” Number one: that’s a fictional television show, sir. Number two: Is there any way I can just get up and walk out? I actually did that years ago, after my date was really rude to our waiter. Number one turnoff – and it’s not just a turnoff – it’s a deal-breaker because it tells me everything I need to know about your character, and you just can’t change your character. The poor guy didn’t know what hit him. The waiter put our drinks down, and I put money down on the table and stood up. “Wait, what happened?” I wasn’t throwing a tantrum. I just met the guy. I don’t get all INVOLVED if I just met you. I just knew there was no point. Other things you can work with, even bad-ish hygiene. But being an asshole to waitstaff … it’s similar to road rage. I just know who you are if you display those qualities and esPECIALLY if you display those qualities on a first DATE! You either think this stuff will impress me, which means you’re an idiot, OR you’re just so out of control with your simmering hostility that you can’t hold it back to put on a good face on a first date. Either way: it’s bad news. So I told him, in almost a helpful tone, like maybe I will get through to him: “I can’t get past how you just treated that waiter.” It was quite an extraordinary moment. He didn’t know what to do. He had asked me out, and he actually was a funny person, and attractive, not an open douche – so he said, “Is there any way this can be salvaged?” meaning the date. I said, “I’m sorry, no. It’s my #1 deal-breaker. I’ve been a waiter. I just can’t. I’m really sorry.” And I walked out. I hope he felt ashamed enough to change his behavior! Anyway, it’s not unprecedented for me to just get up and walk out. And yearning for white-picket-fence world – with no gay people, women in aprons, no black people – it tells me about you and what you want and I will never ever fit into it. We’re not 22 years old. Why waste time? There ain’t nobody like ME on Leave It to Beaver. I said to him, “If I were trapped on Leave It to Beaver, I would flee into the night.” He backtracked, “You know what I mean, though!” I said, “I DO know what you mean and I would flee into the night.” I didn’t say it mean. Or angry. I just met the guy. He can feel how he feels, no skin off my nose, but I can feel how I feel too. Some other woman would love to fit into that world so he can go and find her.

— I’ve been meeting up with my friend Beth on Friday mornings – early – to sit in the beautiful park and have iced coffee. Every time we go, we see this beautiful white dog named Jenny, who has befriended us, and she lies down in front of us, facing OUT, because she is a guard dog and this is her natural way-of-being: protect good people from any incoming threat. It is so touching! She sniffs us to say hello, and then lies down, facing out. Making sure nothing happens to us. Jenny is always on duty.

— I’ll be back in New York this weekend for the Adultfilm’s Film + Theatre festival, where my short film July and Half of August will be screening. This kind of just happened. Adult Film is an energetic and ambitious theatre collective – and I’m happy to be included! Here’s the lineup! It’s a two-day event. It’s going to be so fun.