The Books: “Hello from Bertha” (Tennessee Williams)

Next on the script shelf:
Next Tennessee Williams play on the shelf is a one-act called Hello from Bertha, included in 27 Wagons Full of Cotton And Other One-Act Plays.

This play takes place in “the valley” – a red-light district in East St. Louis. Bertha, a whore who works in a whore-house, is … well, she’s dying. But she won’t admit it. Something is seriously wrong with her. She has been lying on her bed for two weeks, unable to do anything, she feels awful, she knows deep down inside that this is the end. Goldie, the woman who runs the whore-house, comes into Bertha’s room at the top of the play and demands: “what are you going to do?” Basically, she can’t continue to put Bertha up if Bertha will no longer work and bring in money. Goldie is not a bad woman, just a practical business-minded woman – so she pushes Bertha to decide: what are you going to do? Bertha resists, becoming hysterical. Goldie threatens to call the hospital and have her taken away. Goldie then suggests that Bertha write to “Charlie” – Charlie owns a hardware store in Memphis and Bertha used to work in the store before she moved away. And from the sound of it, they had a torrid affair, involving “the back room” of the store, etc. This was years ago. But apparently, Charlie once said to her: “If you ever need anything, you just let Charlie know.” Bertha has never forgotten. Charlie is now married, with a kid … but Bertha still remembers Charlie, and kind of keeps the Charlie option open in her heart … as something that she can always call upon when things get too bad. (As an audience member, I am not so sure of Charlie’s goodness – he sounds like a sleaze-bag to me – but I think that’s the whole point. It doesn’t matter what I think – to this Bertha person, she would not have been able to get through her rough years as a whore without knowing that out there, somewhere, was a man who had been kind to her, and cared about her welfare. Loneliness does horrible things to a person’s soul.) Bertha has Charlie’s address memorized. Goldie keeps telling her to write to him, have him wire some money, help her out so she can get looked at by a doctor … Bertha gets more and more hysterical. Bertha probably has some kind of mental illness – she’s paranoid, suspicious, delusional, etc. Goldie keeps pushing her to decide – she asks her if she wants a priest, she thinks it might be time to confess her sins … it is obviously the end of the road for Bertha. Finally, Goldie leaves the room – and she does, indeed, go and call an ambulance to come take Bertha away. But we don’t know that. Bertha is left alone in her room for a bit. She is hysterical.

I’ll excerpt from that point to the end of the play.

From Hello from Bertha, by Tennessee Williams

BERTHA. Oh, Charlie, Charlie, you were such a sweet, sweet! [Her head rocks and she smiles in agony] You done me dirt more times than i could count, Charlie — stood me up, married a little choir-singer — Oh, God! I love you so much it makes my guts ache to look at your blessed face in the picture! [Her ecstasy fades and the look of schizophrenic suspicion returns] Where’s that hell-cat gone to? Where’s my ten dollars? Hey, YOU!! Come back in here with that money! I’ll brain you if ever I catch you monkeying around with any money belonging to me! … Oh, Charlie … I got a sick headache, Charlie. No, honey. Don’t go out tonight. [She gets up from the rocker] Hey, you! Bring me a cold ice-pack — my head’s aching. I got one hell of a hang-over, baby! [She laughs] Vagrancy, huh? Vagrancy your Aunt Fanny! Get me my lawyer. I got influence in this town. Yeah. My folks own half the oil wells in the state of — of — Nevada. [She laughs] Yeah, that’s a laugh, ain’t it? [Lena, a dark Jewish girl in pink satin trunks and blouse, comes in the door. Bertha looks at her with half-opened eyes] Who’re you?

LENA. It’s me, Lena.

BERTHA. Oh, Lena, huh? Set down an’ take a load off yer feet. Have a cigarette, honey. I ain’t feeling good. There ain’t any cigarettes here. Goldie took ’em. She takes everything I got. Set down an’ — take a —

LENA. [in doorway] Goldie told me you weren’t feelin’ so good this evening so I thought I’d just look in on you, honey.

BERTHA. Yeah, that’s a laugh, ain’t it? I’m all right. I’ll be on the job again tonight. You bet. I always come through, don’t I, kid? Ever known me to quit? I may be a little down on my luck right now but — that’s all! [She pauses, as if for agreement] That’s all, ain’t it, Lena? I ain’t old. I still got my looks. Ain’t I?

LENA. Sure you have, Bertha. [There is a pause]

BERTHA. Well, what’re you grinning about?

LENA. I ain’t grinning, Bertha.

BERTHA. [herself slightly smiling] I thought maybe you thought there was something funny about me saying I still had my looks.

LENA. [after a pause] No, Bertha, you got me wrong.

BERTHA. [hoarsely] Listen, sweetheart, I know the Mayor of this God damn little burg. Him and me are like that. See? I can beat any rap you try to hang on me and I don’t give a damn what. Vagrance, huh? That’s a sweet laugh to me! Get me my traveling bag, will you, Lena? Where is it? I been thrown out of better places than this. [She rises and drags herself vaguely about the room and then collapses on bed. Lena moves toward the bed] God, I’m too tired. I’ll just lay down till my head stops swimming … [Goldie appears in the doorway. She and Lena exchange significant glances]

GOLDIE. Well, Bertha, have you decided yet?

BERTHA. Decided what?

GOLDIE. What you’re gonna do?

BERTHA. Leave me be. I’m too tired.

GOLDIE. [casually] Well, I’ve called up the hospital, Bertha. They’re sending an ambulance around to get you. They’re going to put you in a nice clean ward.

BERTHA. Tell ’em to throw me in the river and save the state some money. Or maybe they’re scared I’d pollute the water. I guess they’ll have to cremate me to keep from spreadin’ infection. Only safe way of disposin’ of Bertha’s remains. That’s a sweet laugh, ain’t it? Look at her, Lena, that slut that calls herself Goldie. She thinks she’s big-hearted. Ain’t that a laugh? The only thing big about her is the thing that she sits on. Yeah, the old horse! She comes in here talking soft about callin’ a priest an’ havin’ me stuck in the charity ward. Not me. None a that stuff for me, I’ll tell you!

GOLDIE. [with controlled fury] You better watch how you talk. They’ll have you in the strait-jacket, that’s what!

BERTHA. [suddenly rising] Get the hell out! [She throws a glass at Goldie, who screams and runs out. Bertha then turns to Lena] Set down and take a letter for me. There’s paper under that kewpie.

LENA. [looking on the dresser] No, there ain’t, Bertha.

BERTHA. Ain’t? I been robbed a that, too? [Lena walks to the table by the bed and picks up a tablet]

LENA. Here’s a piece, Bertha.

BERTHA. All right. Take a letter. To Mr. Charlie Aldrich, owner of the biggest hardware store in the City of Memphis. Got that?

LENA. What’s the address, Bertha?

BERTHA. It’s 563 Central Avenue. Got it? Yeah, that’s right. Mr. Charlie Aldrich. Dear Charlie. They’re fixing to lock me up in the city bug-house. On a charge of criminal responsibility without due process of law. Got that? [Lena stops writing] And I’m as sane as you are right this minute, Charlie. There’s nothing wrong with my upper-story and there never will be. Got that? [Lena looks down and pretends to write] So come on down here, Charlie, and bail me out of here, honey, for old times’ sake. Love and kisses, your old sweetheart, Bertha … Wait a minute. Put a P.S, and say how’s the wife and your — No! Scratch it out! That don’t belong in there. Scrach it all out, the whole damn thing! [There is a painful silence. Bertha sighs and turns slowly on the bed, pushing her damp hair back] Get you a clean sheet of paper. [Lena rises and tears another sheet from the tablet. A young Girl sticks her head in the door]

GIRL. Lena!

LENA. Coming!

BERTHA. Got it?

LENA. Yes.

BERTHA. That’s right. Now just say this. Hello from Bertha — to Charlie — with all her love. Got that? Hello from Bertha — to Charlie …

LENA. [rising and straightening her blouse] Yes.

BERTHA. With all … her love … [The music in the lower room recommences]

CURTAIN