— I had a hell of a time getting home. The 101 is North and South – and yet it actually goes east – west …. it’s kind of like 128 in Boston. But I got so twisted up and so confused that eventually I didn’t even know my own name. I literally had NO IDEA what I was doing. I kept seeing exits I had already seen – but I didn’t know which way I should be going. East? North? WTF??? I kept exiting the freeway, turning around, going a couple of exits, and then realizing: I don’t think this is right. I have learned an important lesson: STOP trusting your instincts, Sheila. Just follow the damn directions and IGNORE your instincts. I finally gave up. I pulled into a Mobil station and asked a lovely Indian man (yet again – he was lovely and friendly and helpful) for directions. He didn’t want to open the door for me, and waved his hands at me: “WE’RE CLOSED!” I shouted through the glass, “I’M LOST!!” He read my lips, then nodded understandingly and came to help me. He gave me brief blunt and extremely accurate directions – I was not far from where I needed to be. I confessed my inadequacy right to his face, “I am so twisted up on these freeways that I literally don’t even know my name right now.” But he untwisted the freeways for me and I was on my way home.
— Or so I thought.
— I got back on the freeway going the right way. Then I saw the exit I needed to take. I have a whole analysis of what is wrong with the signs on the freeway here. I miss Route 95 and the signage therein. I don’t mean to criticize … but it seems that the signs on 95 literally treat you, the drivers, like you are stupid. They warn you miles ahead of time when something is going to happen – and then they continuously remind you … the signs are like: “93 North is coming up in 3 miles.” “93 North is coming up in 2 3/4 miles.” “93 Norht is coming up in 1 1/2 miles.” “GET READY. GET READY TO EXIT. IT’S COMING UP.” They ASSUME that we are all IDIOTS and we need constant reminders in enormous letters. The letters on the freeway signs here are not iridescent like they are on 95 – at least not AS iridescent – you really actually have to READ them … as opposed to being passively ASSAULTED by them. And many times they do not give you a lot of warning. Or – you’ll only get one warning and then BOOM – from out the darkness – there’s the exit.
— Which is what happened.
— My thought process: “Oh awesome … here comes the exit! Thank you, kind Indian man!” And then – “OH SHIT … THAT WAS MY EXIT …” as I careened by at the speed of light. Like I said: drivers who don’t know where they’re going need constant validation and reinforcement. Oh, and here’s the other thing: Once you DO make a choice … on 95 it is immediately validated whether it is right or wrong. You THINK you’re getting off on Route 1. You make the exit. Within 30 yards on that road, you get a sign: ROUTE 20 NORTH. You know IMMEDIATELY you have made an error. This does not seem to be the case here. You make an exit THINKING you are hot shit and doing the right thing, and then you drive 30 miles until you get a validating sign. hahaha I am getting used to it now … (after 5 days) … I don’t look for outside validation. I just try to follow the dern directions.
— I got off at the next exit – and I recognized the street name as one being near Alex’s. Of course I had no idea WHERE on that street I would be … but at least I recognized it. At one point, I called Alex and told her the situation … and eventually I saw something I recognized and voila – I was on my way home. Whoo-hoo!
— Every time I drive on those freeways and I return home safely, I have a moment where I say: “Sheila. You are so … FECKIN’ AWESOME.”
Among my college crowd to move to L.A., our first gift to newcomers was a Thomas Guide and a tutorial on how to read and flip through it while changing lanes at 60 miles an hour. It’s good training for studying your lines while speeding to that surprise audition.
Red, I can relate to your highways going the wrong direction thing. In the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, I-64 comes east into Norfolk, then loops back west toward Suffolk and Chesapeake, so for a pretty large section of I-64 EAST, you are literally travelling west. Talk about confusing!