Patrick’s story of being a Webelo. Too funny to excerpt. I have been sitting here reading it with tears of laughter streaming down my face. “murder-y noise” for some reason made me just LOSE it. But there’s so much there … the “Sapphic tribunals” … I am guffawing …
I can’t … get past it …. hahahahahahahahahaha
I read that last night and laughed so hard I scared my dogs!
I loved the “murder-y noises” part.
This is also one of my favorites:
“One trip, I think to the Big-Ass Scout and Webelo Good-Timey Jubilee, saw our troop meet up in the woods with a rival bunch of squares for a planned gang rumble, but everyone just ended up comparing merit badges and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance or selling each other Grit or whatever and shit never threw down. I had a D battery in a sock that I was fixin to use to conk somebody on the head, so you can imagine my disappointment.”
I’m picturing this bad ass kid with all these good kids waiting to really mess someone up! What a bummer. LOL!
I know – the rumble in the woods! hahaha
And the poor kid getting his dental gear caught in the tent …
I am STILL LAUGHING
“You cant whoop the Moss Mans ass in Umbros. You cant whoop anybodys ass in Umbros.”
Hahahahaahahahaaha!
“she made me dress up in my ramshackle Webelo costume and join the protest.”
I just … can’t feckin’ get over it …. hahahahahaha
Grit! BWAHAHAHAHA! I was a Webelo – I remember that jazz. “Hey, scouts! Sell Grit!” Which is really just a shorter way of saying, “Your ass doesn’t get kicked enough! Go make yourself more annoying!”
Sell Grit… What, do I look like a Waffle House?
Nightfly – hahahahahahahahaha
i personally lost my shit at the “killing the fuck out of people” line.
Sheila, I am forever indebted to you for introducing me the Hughes family. Anyone who says the Internet is anything less than great has never read Bad News Hughes.
So the pay-it-forward line goes like this:
Mimi Smartypants – to Beth – to me – to you!
The second I read that first essay about the polyp in his ass I was so hooked. I feel like I’m on crack.
I was a Webelo, too. I went all through Cub Scouts and, in retrospect, it really was at least this ridiculous. If not more so. I think I lasted exactly one whole day as a Boy Scout: I never even got the uniform before realizing “this shit is way too hard-core for me.”
Someday I’m going to have to write a whole post about how my dad got EXPELLED from the Boy Scouts.
Dave J – hahahahahaha Oh man I want to hear that story!!
Of course my disillusionment with the “flying up” ceremony in Brownies is well known … and I quit Girl Scouts after the day we were told to make duffel bags. I was like: What? I want to spend a Saturday afternoon making a duffel bag?? As opposed to running around in the woods pretending to be witches from old Salem with my friends? No contest.