THE THRILL: The fire alarm in the main stairwell of my building went off last night. I investigated. No smell of smoke. But whatever – people were gathering, so I called 911. It was about 10:30 p.m. Within 3 minutes, my building was crawling with firemen. Now – nobody asked me “who here’s wearing Sierra” like the last time I was overrun with hot firemen … but still. There they all were. Tromping up and down the stairs, with axes, and helmets, and day-glo stripes and big boots … I just loved standing back and watching them. Hot. So that was the thrill. (Especially since the building was NOT burning down. No fire.) I was free to hang back in a leisurely manner and watch firemen do their thing, without the fear of my 8 boxes of journals going up in smoke, or the plastic folder of letters over the years from 74 Facts guy being incinerated into a smoking pile of cinders. There was only glory in the moment, and in the undeniable FACT of the gorgeous-ness of the firemen.
THE MORTIFICATION: I was wearing Hello Kitty pajamas and also bright-blue sparkley false eyelashes. I had just been messing around with them – had just bought them yesterday, as a matter of fact and wanted to see what they looked like. Let me reiterate: they were sparkley, and they were blue.
I realize now that I must have looked like some tragic Tennessee Williams character, there in the shadowy dingy hallway, in my flimsy pajamas printed with 100s of Hello Kitty heads … and the La Cage Aux Folles ambience of the blue sparkley eyelashes … a tragic failed debutante, 20 years past her prime, playing dress-up by herself in her own apartment, waiting for a Gentleman Caller who will never come.
This post made me laugh out loud…
hahahaha I know!!! I must have looked like a total Loon.
Just another example of Life’s sometimes questionable timing. I can hear the firemen on their way back to the station–“Did you catch the chick in the pajamas and blue eyelashes? What was up with that?”
I can hear the firemen on their way back to the station…
I dunno. Five’ll getcha ten at least one of them was wearing “Spiderman” underwear.
Sure. But their Spiderman underwear CAN’T BE SEEN. Doesn’t count.
I’m waiting for the one who was totally charmed and comes back to ask you out.
Just waiting. Do-do-do ….
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, Red. I’m utterly convinced “complete, utter, gorgeous specimen of man” is a job requirement for firemen. I mean, it’s ridiculous. Whenever I’ve seen a gaggle of these guys out together, each and every one of them is swoon-worthy. Every. Last. ONE.
no idea why, but i immediately thought of Miss Havisham when you started talking about false eyelashes and firemen. it could only have been better if you were wearing a wedding dress with your false eyelashes. just beautiful (and hilarious, of course).
(your breasts are fully intact, right?)
i’m sick, i know.)
sarahk – hahahahaha Can you imagine if I was in a wedding dress by myself at 10:30 pm??? HYSTERICAL. (and tragic)
You have so much more of an interesting life than I do. I was just watching TV at that time. Probably snoozing a little bit, too. Then, a few hours later, Conor woke up a barfed all over the bathroom floor. Yup, Hello Kitty Pj’s and blue sparkly eyelashes is WAY more fun than that!!!!!!
Too. Funny.
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