“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

Someone really really really REALLY wants to know if I wear glasses. This person is tormented by his lack of knowledge. Every day, he keeps hoping. He keeps hoping if he puts “glasses” or “Sheila glasses” or some such variation thereof into the Search box, he will come across some post I wrote where I say explicitly, “I wear glasses.” What, does he think I’m a bad writer or something? Why on earth would anyone care if I wear glasses? I swear I do not understand why some people read me. Do not get it. It’s kind of like the whole “Sheila fashions” debacle of 2007, which was pretty amusing.

And about the glasses, yes. On occasion, yes, I do wear glasses.

Hope that clears up your obvious torment.

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22 Responses to “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

  1. Brendan says:

    I love Cat Lady. Why is she cross eyed???

  2. Brendan says:

    That is a rhetorical question.

  3. red says:

    Sometimes she gets a little bit manic. Especially when she is out in public.

  4. tracey says:

    Okay. Fine. You caught me.

  5. just1beth says:

    Love those glasses-especially good for visiting Siobhan!!!!! The only thing missing is one of those little stickers from the 80’s denoting your zodiac sign. (Not that Mere and I had those-nooooooooo, not even on my swoopy glasses……nope.)

  6. Emily says:

    Does Sheila fashions ever come back? I finally got so sick of people searching for “American Idol” that I wrote a Sheila fashion-esque post basically saying look, nothing against you. I’m glad you like that show, but nobody at this site watches it. Nobody here writes about it. If you search for “American Idol,” you will not find anything about it, as you probably already know. Go visit American Midol if you would like to share your thoughts with others. You’re in the wrong place.

    He’s still looking.

  7. I like the second pic the best, with the cross-eyes and mouth open. And when I see sometimes how people get to my site I’m just slack-jawed, but so far no one’s looking for me in glasses.

    Or even a hat.

  8. I just thought of a great idea; I’m going to start sending cryptic messages by typing them into google in relation to your site rather than just click on the bookmark I have.

  9. red says:

    Emily – ha! American Idol!!

    I think the Sheila Fashions person was either shamed away by that post or lost interest or became resigned that no, I would NEVER write about fashions!

    So weird.

    It felt like the person putting “glasses” was almost stopped in the enjoyment of my blog until that one pertinent question is answered. You wrote 25 posts about James Joyce? TOO BAD – until I know whether or not you wear glasses, I can go no further!!

    I guess I just don’t read blogs that way. I don’t understand.

  10. red says:

    Beth – Member me wearing those stupid glasses on the subway? I seriously can NEVER throw them away now.

  11. red says:

    Jonathan – It really is amazing to see how people find you, isn’t it?

    I wonder sometimes if people think that Google is an actual person.

    “Do I need a haircut?” and etc. Like: how on earth will Google know?

    HA!!

  12. Emily says:

    I think the best Google I ever got was “fraternity solution nachos problem.” Um…what? I’m guessing we had a situation where someone in a fraternity wanted nachos and was looking into solving the problem. With Google. Most people just go to Taco Bell. I don’t even see how the internet came into the picture, let alone led them to me. I never write about nachos or fraternities.

  13. red says:

    I’m guessing we had a situation where someone in a
    fraternity wanted nachos and was looking into solving the problem. With
    Google.

    hahahahahahaha I’m dying!!

    Let’s hope it wasn’t an URGENT problem.

  14. amelie says:

    i still shake with laughter when i think about the “sheila hates fashion” result of that last post of this nature!

    last year:
    sheila existential grapefruit
    deify plums

    this year:
    it’s not a glasses-wearing kumquat! it’s a 20/20 vision gourd!

  15. dipnut says:

    Wow. I’m really sorry. That was totally not supposed to be personal.

    I don’t wear glasses, myself. Always had 20/10 vision in both eyes. But I guess I’m not too good at seeing “the line”. Is there no way it could just be funny? No?

    I’ll go away for a while.

  16. Eric the...bald says:

    I forgot all about that until just now! I love getting to laugh at something all over again.

    It’s like I always say: Searching is a privilege that must not be abused, not an unalienable right. I always say that.

  17. red says:

    Is there no way it could just be funny? No?

    Nope. Try toxic. Try hostile. Try totally out of tune with the rest of the conversation going on here (like many of your comments).

    Try anything but funny.

  18. red says:

    Eric – I enjoy unearthing Cat Lady from time to time – she makes me feel good about where I am at in MY life! Ha!!

  19. red says:

    Okay so whoever put ‘sheila fashions: the glasses years’ in my Search box last night has made me laugh out loud!!!

  20. just1beth says:

    (it was me- hahahahahaha!!!)

  21. Nadifa says:

    sheila do you know what marlon brandos parents did for living. thank you if you can answars it and sorry my english is not good I am from denmark so i dont read alot of bio books

  22. Nadifa says:

    sheila do you know what marlon brandos parents did for living.

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