Tribute To Da Cousins

O’MALLEYS

Liam – the oldest of the O’Malley cousins. A classic old-school gentleman, with his porkpie hat, and black suit. He’s a Rat Pack kind of guy, who still listens to records on vinyl (because, of course, why wouldn’t you?) He is encyclopedic on music (get him talking about the Beatles or the Kinks – He wrote 2 posts on my blog about the Kinks – here’s one, and here’s the other and be prepared to be educated), pop culture, books, and anything that is, well, interesting. He and I are reading War and Peace right now. He is far ahead of me but I am loving reading this with him. He really cares about his family. He is there, solid, a rock, you can lean on him. Lydia, Liam’s wife, has been in my family for years. A beautiful serene and amusing woman – she has this way of just making everything all right just by showing up. She and Liam are a true pair. It makes me happy to see them together. Her stories of doing set design on everything from indie films to television to big blockbusters have kept us entertained for eons. She is pregnant now – with their first child – and it’s all very exciting.

Mike – my cousin Mike is uproariously and inappropriately funny. He is a common sense kind of guy (just like his father) and has a way of cutting straight to the heart of the matter. When he asks, “How are you?” he really wants to know the answer. If you lie to him, he will know it. He also has taught me about generosity because my cousin Mike is one of the most generous people I have ever met. If you say to him, “Please give me the shirt off your back, I need it” he will not hesitate. He is a rock. He is someone I have gone to in some of my darkest moments and he also provides a continuity … He has known me always. Please tune in to the new Christian Slater series to see my cousin Mike in action. Lisa – my cousin Mike’s wife is a beautiful person, a perfect counterpoint for the Tasmanian devil that is Mike. She is stable, funny, capable, and a true grown up. She has accepted the crazy life of her husband as her own and provides a warm and open space whenever any of us come to visit. I love her. They have 3 children – amusing specific little beings with three of the most Irish names ever born to man.

Marianne – Marianne was my true compadre growing up. We are one year apart. We went through everything together – puberty, family deaths, romance, marriage … I have watched her grow and blossom over the years into the stupendous woman she is now. She is so much her mother’s daughter it’s not even funny. She just shows up, when the going gets tough … she’s right there, she’ll do anything – cook you something, hold your hand, make you laugh, or send you a nice email in a dark moment. I don’t see her enough but I can always feel her there. Marianne is married to Jimmy – just an awesome friendly NICE man … (being ‘nice’ is so underrated!) – and they have two rambunctious CUTIE little boys.

Kerry – In the last 10 years or so, Kerry and I have become true friends. We were not always close – for various reasons – having to do with our ages and also not seeing each other enough, but now – all that has washed away. We probably chat, on average, once a day – at least in the comments of my blog, but also thru email and phone conversations. She, like her brother Mike, knows the true meaning of generosity. Over this past weekend, we needed a couple of favors from Kerry … it’s hard to ask someone to do something for you … but when we got over it, and called her – she was right there. “Tell me what I need to do.” Family. That’s what you do. It’s tribal. Kerry has that tribal thing in spades. I treasure her friendship. Make sure you check in with Brotherhood to see Kerry in action!

Bridget – Bridget has taken on vaguely mythical status due to her absence and the continued promise that she will appear – but she rarely does. Yet she is always on our minds. It’s like waiting for Godot. “Will Bridget come?” “Is Bridget coming?” “Did Bridget RSVP?” Bridget is the treasured daughter of uncle Jimmy (my godfather – who passed away way too soon) and even though she is almost like an urban legend at this point – her humor and love are really why she has taken on such a status with all of us. We want her there. We love her, and we always hope she will show. I will never forget the day of Mike’s wedding when, once again, we all were like, “Is Bridget coming? Did Bridget RSVP? Will she be here?”, as we all milled about in the hotel lobby, when suddenly a gleaming black car pulled up in the drive, the door opened – and a slinky leg appeared … black strappy heels. Then Bridget unfolded herself from the car, in a floor-length fabulous red gown … she had taken the car service from her mother’s house (over an hour away) … and we all rushed at her as though we were the paparazzi and she were Angelina Jolie. She is important to us.

Rachel – What you need to get about Rachel is that she is, hands down, the funniest person I know. In a family full of professional actors and comedians, RACHEL is the funniest. It’s not that she has one-liners, or ba-dum-ching punch lines. It’s her delivery. She is a true delight, a beautiful person – who lives in Southie and, perhaps, always will – she loves it, despite all the shenanigans and controversies involving parking spaces and snow plows. For an infamous year, she worked for Martha Stewart – and i still have a Martha refrigerator magnet from Rachel’s reign there. Rachel is glamorous, too – a beautiful babe – and I always look forward to seeing her. With my cousins, it is easy to just get to the heart of the matter. There may be small talk, but it never ever FEELS small.

Matt – for many years, Matt (Rachel’s brother) was this huge mystery to me because he was just a little boy during the time I was in high school and college – and my main memory of him was of Matt misbehaving in an apocalyptic and totally memorable way during one Thanksgiving at my grandmother’s. Matt is now about 8 feet tall, and is studying classical guitar. He’s rather brilliant, and has his father’s dry wit and demeanor. I saw him for the first time in years at Mike’s wedding (which was years ago) and i was amazed at the tall strapping man beside me – could this be the same boy who misbehaved at Thanksgiving and had to be banished to my grandmother’s bedroom? I look forward to getting to know him better. He’s also, like everyone in my family, committed to the family. He’s flying in this weekend … and it’s very very exciting.

Marianne – Yes, two Mariannes in one family! Marianne is the daughter of my uncle Joe – who also was taken from us way too soon. Joe died when I was about 10 or 11 years old – and I didn’t really understand what my dear cousin was going through at that time. We were best friends. Her family would come to visit our family and we would spend the entire day at the beach. I have the pictures to prove it. This is us, age 11, jumping off the diving board at my uncle jimmy’s. It captures our relationship perfectly. She was a little bit more worldly-wise than I was (she reminds me of Jodie Foster) – and so she taught me:
1. how to put on a bra
2. how to practice kissing by using your pillow
3. how to prepare for getting my period … the emotional issues, pad vs. tampon, failsafe ways to avoid accidents – she filled me in on it ALL.
In many ways, Marianne is a raw nerve. Every time I spend with her is intense and real. The last time I saw her was in 2003 when I took a bus up to her town in Maine and spent a weekend with her and her husband Paul. Marianne had slipped on the ice and broken her ankle -but we still managed to go to the lighthouse that Longfellow liked to visit, and for the most part, stayed holed up in her apartment – with Paul plying us with food and wine, as she and I sat in the living room, talking, crying, and listening to the Monty Python album, singing “Every sperm is sacred” at the tops of our lungs. She and Paul have two children now – absolutely delicious little butterballs who look like composite portraits of both Marianne and Paul. Motherhood seems to suit her.

Tim – Marianne’s brother. Tim is, along with Rachel, one of the funniest people I know in real life. He is a LUNATIC. Gorgeous as a movie star, covered in tats … he is also, like all the O’Malley men, a standup guy, who shows up when the going gets rough. I come from good stock. Good county Mayo stock. Tim and my brother lived together in Brooklyn for a while – and he was a huge part of Cashel’s life when Cashel was a baby. He’s still a huge part of Cashel’s life. Brendan and Timothy now live within walking distance of one another in LA. Tim can be big trouble. He makes us laugh so hard that sometimes we are asked to leave public venues. He’s awesome.

Ian – I haven’t seen Ian in a couple of years myself – but Siobhan has seen him quite a bit. He is a smart, sensitive person – who is starting to make a living for himself with his band. Siobhan bartends and sometimes she’ll look up and there will be Ian and his posse. Ian was a terrific little boy – sweet and intelligent – and he and my father had a special bond. Ian is another stand-up type of guy – who knows that family is the most important thing. He will be there for you if you need him. He’s done with college now, and striking out on his own, and I am sure whatever he gets up to will be fascinating. He’s an O’Malley man, after all.

Emma – Ian’s younger sister. I wrote a bit post about her here, in honor of her 16th birthday. Emma is now in college, and slim and beautiful as a supermodel. A tall thin Irish glass of water. She is creative, hilarious, intense, and a beautiful human being. I don’t see her enough but now that she is going to college in Manhattan I hope to see her more. Siobhan tells a funny story about getting off the train once, and emerging onto a street which had been blocked off because a movie was being filmed there. She tried to make her way down the street – only to be stopped by a PA (production assistant), wearing a headset and a little mike – and the PA was starting to say to her, “Excuse me, miss, the street’s blocked off” – and then Siobhan realized: Oh my God, it’s Emma – and the PA (Emma) realized Oh my God, that’s Siobhan – and much hilarity ensued. Emma is a PA on her summer vacation, policing the streets of the city. Look out, Manhattan.

Grace – In true Irish fashion, I have a cousin who is barely in grade school yet. Grace is my uncle Tom’s daughter – and she is smart, funny, runs around wearing a tutu in public, and is unable (as of yet) to pronounce the letter “R” correctly. Apparently, she said to my aunt Regina, in a vaguely defensive and combative manner, ” ‘R’s are the enemy. They are not in my schedule.” Like: get off my back about the letter R, thankyouverymuch. She is a beautiful fierce little creature, and I can’t wait to see her grow and develop.

Henry – Henry is Grace’s younger brother who is just a baby. So the O’Malley cousins span from mid-40s to diaper-wearing butterballs. Henry is a small square solid human being who kills us all with his cuteness. Grace is a good older sister, and Henry will have nothing to fear as long as Grace, the girl who has declared war on the letter “R”, is around.

SULLIVANS

Nancy – the oldest of the Sullivan side of cousins. Nancy always had a glow of glamour and grownup-ness to all of us, when we were kids. She wasn’t that much older than us – but she was applying to college when I was just a freshman in high school, so that is a huge age difference. Nancy is deep, friendly, sensitive, and fun to be around. She went to Princeton (Brooke Shields was in her class) – and was always tremendously intelligent, hard-working, and dedicated. She was a big runner. She played piano in recitals and took her lessons seriously. Anything she did, she put her all into it. She is now married to a wonderful and funny man, with 4 kids, and living in Texas. I don’t see her enough.

Susan – Susan was one of my kindred spirits growing up. She was a year older than me – and Christmas and Easter and our family vacations in New Hampshire shimmered with excitement because SHE would be there. The adventures we have had together are beyond number. We have laughed so hard, as children, that we literally pissed our pants and had to hang our undies out to dry. Anything Susan did, I wanted to do. I have recently realized just how many books Susan introduced me to – when we were kids. If she read it, I read it. And in that way, I was introduced to Jane Langton, the Gone Away Lake books, Enid Blyton, and oh, so many more. We spent hours upon hours together as kids, and I treasure all of those memories. She became a news anchor and now lives in Ohio with her husband – and they have a beautiful big farmhouse, and she seems to be happy.

Ken – Ken and my brother were kindred spirits growing up – and they had a long-running project called “The Mad Killer” – where they would stage increasingly violent attacks by a serial killer on the loose, and capture it with a Polaroid camera. The rest of us were all extras in this ongoing series. I was murdered in cold blood in the back of a grocery store in Sunapee, New Hampshire. The Mad Killer climbed over walls, traveled via outboard motor, crept through trees … He used guns, knives, and also throttled people with his bare hands. My brother and Ken both still have The Mad Killer Polaroids – and they are family favorites. Ken was an outstanding athlete – a true natural. He just had that thing that all great athletes have. Hand-eye coordination, grace, and an ease with the game. Watching him play a Little League game was sometimes like watching Ted Williams in embryo. He was truly gifted. He’s funny in a kind of quiet way – he makes me laugh. He is married to Suzanne – a true powerhouse, who sews her own clothes, bought a piano for 20 dollars on eBay, and basically can do anything. They have three awesome children.

Kathleen – Kathleen and my sister Jean were kindred spirits. My childhood photo album is filled with pictures of the two of them, little pipsqueaks, playing and hanging out on random sunny patios, surrounded by Fisher Price toys. She is kind, sensitive, deep, and is continuing the family tradition by being a librarian. She got married a couple of years ago – to an awesome man and they have a son – a small apple-cheeked cutiepie. Every year, my aunt Geddy throws a “cousin brunch” around Christmas – where as many of us who are able gather, for food, talk, and a Yankee swap. Bringing a boyfriend or a girlfriend to the cousin brunch is a rite of passage – and rather frightening for the boyfriend/girlfriend in question. But if you pass the test, you’re in! Kathleen’s boyfriend (now husband) came to the cousin brunch for the first time in 2004. We all had to bring gifts for the Yankee Swap – and he brought the Boston Globe from October 28, 2004. I’ll let you deduce what was on the front page. Suffice it to say, it was the most fought after gift at that particular Yankee Swap – and we loved him from that moment on. If you’re in with the cousins, you’re IN!

Lisa – She’s up there with one of the funniest people I have ever known. We were BFFs growing up – even with the horrible blot of a certain family trip to Sturbridge Village. We survived! She is smart, a good listener, and has a really graceful way of taking the edge off intense moments by making a joke that will have us all in tears of laughter. She is married to Rob – a man who is so funny that he seems actually dangerous at times … like, you can’t look at him in solemn moments because it could be fatal. His dancing at family weddings has become legendary. Apparently, at my cousin Cecily’s wedding (which I could not attend) – at one point he was doing a Cossacks-style Russian dance – squatting and jumping back up – arms crossed – in the middle of a cheering circle of people. He is crazy! Lisa and Rob have three (NOT TWO, THREE) sons. I get excited whenever I get to hang out with the two of them.

Kelly – Kelly is warm, kind, funny, and has three children – a baby boy and two of the cutest little daughters you will ever see. They are usually in identical outfits, little plaid skirts and black velvet tops, and they are usually carrying My Pretty Ponies around. I asked one of them what she wanted for Christmas, and she replied shyly, “Anything that is pink and sparkley.” Pink and sparkley – got it! Kelly seems to treat life’s little bumps in the road with humor and grace. She is a comforting presence. Always.

Jay – I still find it hard to believe that my tiny baby cousin Jay, last seen staggering around in diapers and a Red Sox T-shirt – is now a pilot. I see the pictures of him sitting at the controls for various giant airplanes, in his white uniform, and I think: “Do they let small babies become pilots? Who is that tall handsome Irish-looking man flying that plane? Is that Jay??” Jay has made a wonderful life for himself, and is married to a beautiful girl – and they have two cute sons – who are usually seen in Red Sox T-shirts themselves.

Meredith – Meredith makes me laugh. I sometimes lose track of how old she is – 12?? Is that right? She’s got big curly locks, a beautiful freckled face, and a wonderful and funny demeanor. She is so much younger than the rest of the cousins, but that has never held her back from feeling like she belongs. Yes, all of her cousins are adults, but what does THAT matter? She is sweet, funny, and a good person – and I look forward to seeing what she will do next.

Matt – Matt is someone I cherish – and I don’t see him enough – but man, what a nice person he is. Kind, caring, a good listener, funny … and with a memory like an elephant. He remembers things about our collective childhood that have vanished (for me) into thin air. He holds it all. He is a toweringly tall man … and really has the best of his father and his mother in him. He has married a woman we all love dearly – she’s just a superstar, basically. Funny, bubbly, supportive … they are a great pair.

Cecily – Cecily and Siobhan were BFFs growing up and are still close now. Cecily is beautiful, funny – and one of my favorite memories is at Siobhan’s album-release party, when Cecily (a wonderful musician and singer herself) joined Siobhan on the stage to do back-up singing. There were the two cousins – onstage at a club in lower Manhattan – wonderful!! Cecily recently got married – and is about to have a baby any day now.

Owen – A tall sweet funny man – committed to family (I don’t think he’s missed one of the “cousin brunches” – or as well all call it: DA BRUNCH) and to being there for his family. He’s a musician, covered in piercings and tats – and has been dating the sweetest funniest girl for a couple of years now (they get married in a couple of weeks!) – We just LOVE her – again, she showed up at Da Brunch one year – and participated in the Yankee Swap, and was just awesome. We’re a tribal sort of family, and I know it can be kind of intimidating to meet us all at the same moment. But she fit right in. I’m so glad the two of them found each other and I’m so sorry I won’t be able to attend their wedding.

Olivia – She’s another one that I sometimes can’t get used to her being, well, a grown-up. There’s a big age difference between us – so for years, she was a little kid, and I was a college student, or whatever … but now here she is, a college graduate – we’re friends on Facebook – and she has developed into a warm and caring young woman, just as funny as her siblings (Matt, Cecily, Owen) – and just as committed to family. She is flourishing in her life, and I look forward to seeing whatever she will get up to next.

I am terrified that I have missed someone. I keep counting it out on my fingers.