Luisa (whispered to me): “I want to be on your blog.”

Me: (protesting) “I’ve written about you before!”
Luisa (whispering, scratching the wall quietly in a vaguely disturbing manner): “But I want to be on it more.”

Fair enough.

Luisa: jewelry designer (see her work here) slash therapist. She has a store (Argentum Designs) – and the jewelry she designs is called Argentum Jewelry. Ever since I’ve known her – she has made jewelry. It’s really cool stuff – stones, and metal and beach glass … and they’re also instantly recognizable as a Luisa Design.

Luisa has been a friend since college. She is the one who said, on an infamous hungover morning in college, that her badly behaved dog was her “bear to cross”. Mitchell and I sat on the couch, hungover, as Luisa wandered through her apartment, looking tragic and under-slept, muttering about her “bear to cross”. We were, frankly, too afraid to say, “Uhm … don’t you mean ‘cross to bear’?” Better to just leave things unsaid. I still say “bear to cross” on an almost daily basis.

Luisa makes the best ice coffee in the world. To quote my brother: “This ice coffee tastes like candy!!”

Luisa, calling out from the kitchen, “MAMA’S IN THE KITCHEN!”

One day, we all sat out on the back porch of Luisa’s condo, looking through the boxes and boxes of beads that Luisa uses to make her jewelry. Jackie, for some reason, became “Bead Lady” – and did improvisational monologues about each bead she pulled out, making shit up as she went along, about Incan temples and voodoo rites symbolized in the bead … She pulled out one bead, glanced at it, and then looked up and stated bluntly, “This bead pre-dates Christ.”

Luisa and Mitchell, doing voiceovers for Luisa’s small frail dying cat – using a small passive-aggressive voice: “Oh, don’t mind me don’t mind me … I’m dying.” “You guys go ahead … don’t worry about me … I’m dying …”

STAHZANDMOONZ …. stahs annnnnd mooooooonz …. If I am remembering correctly, Luisa dated a girl once who was really into “stars and moons”. If it had a star and a moon on it? This girl loved it. Luisa came to visit us in Chicago so we went to a store (the Alley on Belmont, if you must know) to find a present for the girlfriend … and Luisa said bluntly as we entered the store, “All I’m looking for is stars and moons …” The joke stuck with us and now it has, of course, morphed beyond all recognition. It must be said in a long-drawn-out Rhode Island accent, with nary an “R” in sight – and you must not be able to understand one word. “Allz I care about is STAHHHHHHHHHHHZ NNNNND MOOOOOOOOOOOONZ …”

Once upon a time, Luisa, Mitchell and I went out for Thai food in Chicago on a blustery rainy night. Luisa commented upon the blue and white china cup (with a neat little cap) that we drank coffee from – and said, “God, my mom would love something like this for her china closet.” And I couldn’t stop myself. I shoved my blue and white china cup in the pocket of my raincoat and, after we paid the check, walked out with it. I literally couldn’t resist. We got half a block away from the restaurant, walking into the driving rain, before I came clean. “Uhm … Luisa …” She glanced at me and I slowly opened my raincoat to show her my stolen goods. We all flipped OUT and started running as fast as we could – Luisa screaming, “I can’t believe you did that!!!” And to this day, that little blue and white china cup sits in Luisa’s mother’s china closet. Horrible. But funny.

Recently, I was trying to talk to her seriously and I realized, halfway thru my impassioned monologue, that Luisa was more focused on trying to neatly position her drinking straw around her own eyetooth. I am still laughing about it. We were crying. I was pleading, “Luisa, I’m trying to tell a serious story …” Luisa (with the straw hanging off of her eyetooth) said, “Yeah, yeah, I know, but look how cool this is … It fits perfectly!”

Luisa: “Okay, I’m going to bed now. I have a movie I want to watch.”
Me: “What movie?”
Luisa: “The Painted Veil.”
(Brief pause.)
Me: “I don’t understand.”