— Alex and I gear up for the drive back to her place as though it is a military maneuver. Her phone’s batter has died … so we will not be able to stay in touch if we get separated. I know the two major freeways we have to hit … but after that, I would have no idea what to do. We make a pact: We will stay connected, come hell or high water.
— And we’re off. I am driving. Again. I follow Alex. Her left taillight is cracked – so instead of just red showing, it beams out like a white follow-spot. This ends up being EXTREMELY important in finding her on the highway, and staying with her. I just look for the light. I follow the light, baby!!!
— We’re on the 405. I am certain I will die at any moment. The 405 is like … wrestling with a giant anaconda. It is like doing battle with a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It is like … oh, you get the picture. Alex and I have also promised each other that we will drive like little old ladies, and we will not feel bad about it. We pretty much stay at th 60 mph mark. People despise us. But we do not care. There are some pretty awfully frightening moments when we have to switch lanes. I hate these moments. I wish to never have such moments again. I pray to the Lord above to help me survive such moments. I grit my teeth, and I feckin’ change lanes … despite the fact that every single cell in my body is screaming: STAY IN THE LANE YOU’RE IN. YOU CAN’T CHANGE LANES BECAUSE YOU WILL INSTANTLY DIE IN A FIERY MESH.
— Finally – maybe 25 minutes later – we take her exit … and then I see her pulling into a parking lot of a Denny’s. I follow. We had discussed that again, we were STARVING … and so Alex made the executive decision. Denny’s. It is “her” Denny’s. She goes there all the time. She has met lovelorn friends there at 2 in the morning to hear about their problems. “Meet me at Denny’s in 10 minutes.” She has shown up at this Denny’s in her pajamas.
— We sit down … we are still shaken up by our experience wrestling the giant anaconda. Alex said, “That was really the only moment all day when I felt truly stressed out.” We again read the menu as though we are homeless people being given a free meal.
— Our waiter is a plump boy with glasses, and he is unbelievably sweet with us. He found out Alex’s name and divulged this personal information: “That’s my favorite name for a girl. And you know what my favorite name for a boy is? Alexander.” We are overwhelmed by his cuteness and sweetness, and we validate his favorite-name choices. We order food. We order lemonade. And again … it is the best food I have ever had in my life.
— We sit, and we eat, and we talk about the extraordinary day. I start to tell her about my natural interpretation of such events. I take it personally. This is a groove in me as deep as the Grand Canyon, and I have to work – every single day – to not “go there”. It’s a struggle, but it’s one that I embrace. I don’t try to find a positive spin on everything, because I don’t think there’s a positive spin on everything … but I do think that some things just HAPPEN. And it is up to US, the human being, to work it out – to work out a meaning that works FOR us rather than against us. I generally find meanings for things that work against me. Alex and I talked a lot about this. Alex then said, “Sheila, here’s the deal. I don’t know what this day is all about … but I’m telling you, I think it’s been important. I think that … you honestly saved my life today. The way this has happened has been so perfect … you could be dead right now. Or I could have died this week driving to my class. I don’t know what it all means … and I am truly not trying to say – ” (and then she put her hands into a little precious yoga position, as though she were meditating – she also made her voice into a goofy mellifluous assholic new-agey type tone) “Oooohhhhhh … everything is good … everything happens for a reason …” Then she was back to herself. “But I am saying that something happened today – a little miracle – and I believe that … well, God, Sheila. You saved my life today.” I admit that I was in tears. I guess what I felt in that moment was an awareness of that Grand Canyon groove in me … an awareness of how often I choose the BAD spin on things … how often I choose to look at events in a way that is detrimental to my happiness … and Alex’s assurances had the deep deep ring of truth to me. We still couldn’t really process our day … we still were IN the day … but it was starting to resonate with us, we were starting to catch up with ourselves.
— During our time at Denny’s – we start to discuss the film Grizzly Man which Alex had seen – and which I really wanted to see. We decide to stop by the Blockbuster on our way home to see if the movie was in.
— This pitstop ended up being yet another accidental miracle.
This is FAR more exciting than a 30’s serial!
The fact that people actually navigate the 405 on a daily basis is simply beyond belief to me. Usually when I’m on it, traffic is going about 5-10 mph for miles on end, so you always have one eye on the thermostat to make sure you’re not overheating. But the last time I drove it, it was around 9 pm and from the San Fernando Valley down to Long Beach (about 25 miles, I would guess) it was what I’d describe as heavy traffic going 90 mph. Simply amazing – on the one hand somewhat exhilirating, but at the end I’d never been more in need of a stiff drink in my entire life.
//– I wait. It is a beautiful day. I look up at the hills above. There are palm trees on top. The sky is a blinding blue. The air is mild and spring-like. Yes, I am standing in the dirt on the side of the 101, and yes, I broke Alex’s car, and yes God has cursed me by having this happen after my last debacle driving here … but damn, that sky is blue, and damn, I love those palm trees.//
For my money, this statement, from Part 4 I think it was, is the closest thing to understanding the mystery of our existence and what we’re doing here. This post, Part 9, got me to thinking that.
I am so psyched you’re not dead!
what is it about denny’s?