Snapshots From the Road

— Sign on the highway alerting us to a FARM SHOW COMPLEX. This then became a joke. “I really have a farm show complex, but I’m on meds for it now. It’s working great.”

— Jen is obsessed with maps. We stopped to buy a road atlas. She pored over it. She informed me that over to our right was a prison. And over to our left was a national forest. She downloaded a Rand McNally map APP that was hugely helpful. “Wow, look at that amusement park over there.” 2 seconds on her phone: “That is the such-and-such amusement park.” Thank you, Jen. You need to marry Rand McNally.

— We stopped for gas at a joint that sold knives and sheepskin coats. I walked in and it was like a Where’s Waldo moment. I knew that all I had to do was be patient, look around, and I would see Elvis there SOMEwhere. It took me a while. I looked at the sheepskin coats. I looked at the display case full of hunting knives. Then there was a wall of photos. Personal photos. I looked at each photo. And there, at the top, was Elvis (1956 Elvis) rehearsing with his band. I felt vindicated. The second I walked in that joint I knew it was a matter of time before he appeared.

— We brought food with us and we are very proud of ourselves for that.

— We listened to Spooky Mormon Hell Dream and went apeshit, recalling our hilarious road trip to Montauk when we could not get over that song.

— I babbled about Elvis for about three states. I told Jen the entire story of the romance between Elvis and June Juanico and even I was shocked at the amount of detail I knew. Like specific dates. Jen was a good sport about it. More to the point, she was agog and asked me at one point, “So why did they break up? I’m so upset.”

— Jen, informing me: “I know you are dying to know this, but we are about to pass over the Susquehanna River.” “I don’t know how I have lived without that information up until now.”

— We saw our first snow on the ground in Pennsylvania.

— The wall of mountains is spectacular. Dark, with a light sky, and crazy birds wheeling through the sky.

— I have never seen so many trucks in my life, and I fell deeply in love with one trucker driving alongside of us and felt devastated when he turned off at an exit. “Bye, soulmate.”

— It’s freezing. This has been our first real cold day this winter.

— Jen and I can make a bit out of anything. The bit with the maps went on for 500 miles. Nonstop. Jen kept saying, looking right at me as I drove, “I love maps.” I could feel her out of the corner of my eye staring at me. I nodded curtly. “Yes, Jen. I know.” She kept looking at me. I could FEEL it. I finally said, “You need more from me than I am able to give.” Yes. You love maps. Please stop staring at me.

— However, without a map, we would have been driving blind.

— My car is awesome.

— We pulled off to get gas and I realized that we were on the James Madison University campus where my sister Siobhan went. I visited her there, and went to go see her production of Three Sisters. We literally pulled off there randomly because the tank was nearly empty, and suddenly I saw JMU grafitti everywhere. I wanted to text her immediately but she is in Spain on her honeymoon.

— Laughing so hard that tears streamed down our faces.

— Holed up in our Super 8. We bathed. We stretched. We immediately moved into the joint. I look around and it’s like we have been here our whole lives.