Phil Lusardi, an old friend of mine (some of you may remember this, or this photo extravaganza), owner of a wine store in Minnesota, has a very funny quote in the Wall Street Journal today, listing all of the words he’s encountered in his years as general manager of a wine shop.
(The comments below the post on the WSJ are pretty funny as well: “My favourite of late has been a wine that i described as possessing the aroma of ‘freshly blasted quarry’.”)
I love this. Grass?? Flabby??
I think “freshly blasted quarry” wine would go well with “hamburger dropped on its way to the bun” as a main course.
My particular favorite is the “notes of” descriptions–as in “I detected notes of” chicory, banana peel, athletic socks, tobacco, chimpanzee, heather(grass or old girlfriend?), bark, tinsel, and so on. Although intended to be taken serious, “notes of” descriptions of wine can often be quite hilarious. Now, I am a total wino, that is true, but, c’mon, we are talking about a liquid that is about 3 days away from vinegar.
“I detected notes of” hahahaha It’s hilarious!!
I love the guy who’s like, “What exactly does chalk taste like?”
Better blasted quarry than blasted heath, I suppose…
…althoooooough…
What is this I see before me, the neck toward my hand?
It’s a bottle of Five Witches ’06!
I love the wine from the CHiPs region of Tuscany.
Nekulturny Apparatchik ’97 is redolent with turnip notes, along with just a hint of Baltic intertidal bouquet.
The ’99, though…I wouldn’t strip paint with that stuff.
I detect notes of eyeball-photographs in this Merlot.
For the sake of full disclosure, I should admit that I would trade a close relative for a case of Seavey Cabernet or Pahlmeyer Proprietary Red. I detect notes of bliss in both of those wines. So, there’s that.
I’m all for notes of bliss! I’ll keep my eyes open for those wines.
You know Phil Lusardi?
We have like two degrees of separation! :-)
Really?? He and I have been friends for, God, 15 years now. Chicago days. he’s really talented, funny, great person. We’ve had some pretty crazy adventures together.
Jeez, all we got in the paper edition was Ted Allen (love him, though!) on whether or not to spit at wine tastings. Oh, and that it’s O.K. to like sweet wines.