Diary Friday

Next installment in the Picnic adventure – I’m breaking this one up into 2 parts – the second part will come later today.

Part 1. The audition
Part 2: The callbacks, getting into the play
Part 3: First meeting with the director
Part 4. The calm before the storm … the time before rehearsals started … memorizing lines, etc.
Part 5. Rehearsals start
Part 6. Rehearsals. Stress building.
Part 7. Crush with Brett intensifying. Finding my own way as an actress. Stress building.
Part 8. Dropping out of religious retreat with much sturm und drang.

Quick comment: I love how my friends and family now reference Diary Friday, casually, to each other, as though it is an actual brand name.
“So – did you catch Diary Friday last week?”

hahahaha

I adore that!!

Okay, onward.

When last we checked in with 16 year old Sheila she had had a tear-soaked day because she had had to drop out of the retreat she had been working on … but there was hope because Brett was “having a Halloween party tonight”.

OCTOBER 27

Quarter of 7:00 — Actually I must go into detail later. [hahaha I love the frenzy with which I begin, coupled with the extremely exact time] But what a perfect day. Today was PERFECT!

I went to rehearsal dreading it cause I had to smoke. [See last entry for explanation] Well, the first scene we did didn’t have that in it. After it, we were (Liz, Joanna, me, Brett, Michele) were sitting around talking. They were all talking about what costumes they were gonna wear to Brett’s party and they were rolling around laughing about past Hallowwns and funny costumes (Brett was a Coke can once. He couldn’t move. Liz, every Halloween, when she was little, managed to trip and spill all hler candy) I was just sitting and listening and laughing when suddenly Brett looked at me and said, “You’re invited, you know.” [SO NICE. Inviting a 16 year old to your big party!! So nice!] Everyone looked at me nodding. I said, “Who? What? Where?” So he said, “Oh, it’s at my house. Yeah, right, I’m just gonna let you find it, huh? No – one of us can give you a ride.” So I said yes.

So I’m going. I’m going to a real college party. I just decided what I’m gonna wear. Everyone else has all these off-the-wall costumes. Michele wants to go as a blind driveway. [BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA] Eric wants to go as Michele’s sex life. [hahahahahahaha] Brett wants to go as the following statement: “I have writer’s block.”

I have no imagination. I’m going as a blind beggar. Wear my fingerless gloves, dark glasses, hold a tin cup, my huge sweater … Well, I was feeling pretty good about being invited. I could go home for about 2 1/2 hours so Joanna drove me and Liz home. As we drove, Liz turned to me and said, “Millie, you should go.” We all call each other by our cast names. So I’m going.

When I came back up to rehearsal I was standing backstage. Kimber was blocking a part of the play I wasn’t in. So I was standing there and Brett and Lenny were sprawled behind me. Brett asked me again if I had gotten a haircut – then he immediately said, “Oh, I already asked you that, didn’t I? … I like it.” Then he came over to me and put one arm around me, it felt so cozy. He just squeezed me and said, “Seriously, Sheila — I want you to come to this party.” (Oh brother. I haven’t talked to TS in a week. Oh boy.) I smiled up at him. “Serious?” He nodded. Everyone’s so nice to me. Especially him and Liz and Eric and Joanna. I really feel comfortable with all of them. I’ve found a niche. I bleong with them. I really belong with them. So standing there with Brett’s arm fondly around me – I felt so warm, so good, so wanted. In a friend way. And the thing is, in college – I’m finding that it’s possible to have just as close friendships with the opposite sex as with kids your own sex. [Yes, darling, true, but … Oh well. Time will teach you the complexities of all of this soon enough!] Brett could be my best friend with how close we are. I consider TS one of my closest friends. In high school, at least in the building of the high school – that just doesn’t happen. [hahahaha As though there is a forcefield around the structure: No friendships with the opposite sex beyond this point!] But also, I feel like I am falling hard for Brett. Oh God. And what about TS? I really am very confused about this. [But what delightful confusion to have!!]

He was grinning at me. You can tell a lot about people from their smiles. I can tell immediately a fake smile-for-the-sake-of-smiling-smile. But Brett’s – his is so real that it makes my heart feel full. [And this is still true.] It makes me feel like squeezing him forever. I love him. I just think he is so incredibly cool. People like him should NOT exist!

I can’t tell you how strange my life feels now. It feels wonderful. I am having — I can’t even tell you — such a wonderful time — full of love and ambition and hard work and plain old terrific people.

As Brett and I stood there, he asked me what I was gonna go as. I didn’t know yet – but I started to feel psyched. Especially feeling that people like me. Before when he first invited me, everyone was talking about going to the O’Neill One Acts [cue David!!] and then going to the party. I was planning on going already with my parents – so it would all work out. I told him this and he squeezed me even tighter, smiling at me. “Great!”

I love his face. It is such a great face. Brett said, “Okay, that’s terrific. We’ll all go to the O’Neills. Then we can change into costumes here, and I’ll drive you back to my house. Okay?” “I bring my costume to the O’Neills?” He nodded. “Is that okay?” I nodded.

You know what? In spite of it all – the hugging, and my crush and stuff – it all feels just like a wonderfully close friendship. It’s special. I love being with him, I guess.

So now I am off to the O’Neills. God, I still have so much more to tell about today. You won’t believe it! [Uhm … who ya talkin’ to, Sheila?]

Part II to follow …